Talk to the Goat
Oh no, this is like Brad and Jennifer all over!
Hmmm. I wonder what he got her when he started doing La Jolie.
Oh well. Fear not. You'll get your Vince Vaughn soon enough.
I do like Vince. I'd better, because the evidence is piling up: Jason actually told me to do up some more buttons on that shirt!
So what you're saying is, the great tits top cancels the fugly coat?
You forgot to mention d! The other possibility! I'm sure it ran through your head. You know. The scenario wherein voices in his head suggested that he would get some sort of superpower (either invisibilty or the power to fly) (I know, common, but what can you do) within the next three days if he bought you a ridiculously ugly coat to distract you into not realizing that the junk mail you've been getting for the passed two days is actually a puzzle of instructions on actually getting said superpower!
(takes breath)
But then, I suppose you prolly didn't feel like listing the most obvious of possibilities.
Ahhh. He redeemed himself w/the tit enhancing shirt. (Take the fugly coat back, and get one you like.)
Whenever my husband has brought home a fugly "gift" I have assumed it's because the sales clerk was cute, and she was able to talk him into anything due to his "distraction."
And, by not taking it back, everytime I see it hanging in the closet, I'm reminded of his possible "distraction."
Take it back and get something you like! 
3T
Therese, I will certainly be on the lookout for this possiblity.
3T, I know that's not Jason's problem because he is oblivious to cute girls. It's like he has blinders on or something. It's kind of sweet how he has no idea.
I'm a very sensitive guy but still I'd want Wifey to tell me if I'd bought something she didn't like. I'd rather she have something she did like instead.
Oh, and (c) isn't really penis-based, it's more of a testicle thing. I know, a subtle difference, but there you go.
I agree with the points for the shirt. If it were me, I'd probably be too chicken to return the coat.
Return it anyway!
... And then flash your wonderful boobies in your wonderful shirt in Jason's face and make him (and you) forget all about that awful coat.
"I mean, it's kind of puffy, and really short, and it has snaps, for fuck's sake. Snaps.'
I had to re-read that a few times
lol, I surmise Jason doesn't read your blog??? :D
I don't like puffy coats. Or short coats. Or snaps. This thing has to be really bad.
I want pictures, dammit!
Take it as a good jesture until other wise noted. BUT return the coat and buy a very expensive pair of boots.
If your "banging" theory proves true, you'll have something fashionable to wear while kick his ass.
Lisa
maybe he thinks you're in bed with someone else? and the ugly coat was supposed to win you back?
all this goat talk... I thought it read that he bought you an ugly goat.
haha
I think you should wear the coat out in public and say something like, "Hmm the only accessory this coat needs now is, maybe...a little head gear!" With a metal contraption wrapped around your face like a medieval torture device on top of the ugly coat, he'll see the errors of his ways and get rid of the coat himself.
what is WRONG with this man?
I'd tell him "it just doesn't fit right honey, sorry...." or something like that and exchange it for something you DO like.
So did you tell him yet?
The easy-open coat and great-tits t-shirt complement eachother perfectly... no more fumbling around with zippers or buttons to flash the jugs, right? That must be what Jason was thinking... but then I'm you probably don't wear your coat to bed, though saying that it is Canada, eh?
I'm hoping for C.
You forgot one very important option:
d) Most men have very poor taste when it comes to womens clothes
Of course it could also be that Jason has discovered that by buying you two spontaneous gifts there is at least a chance you will like one of them... and ignore the fact that he just spent twice as much on his new power tool or video game. Good redirection Jason
DB
i like taking Troy clothes shopping, he has great taste for me. HOWEVER he knows better than to by clothing for me without my consent. Just because he thinks it looks great doesn't mean its something i'd be caught dead in. on a side note fo rthe past few days whenever i click on your cooking blog all i get is a blank page - what's up with that?
I'd be wary of secretaries if I were you....
Eww, snaps!
PS, I love you're blog. Very witty.
I agree with the others. Return the thing but take a photo first. You could have like a Fugly Fridays or something.
If I'd given the present, I wouldnt be upset if u returned it. Clothing is such a subjective matter anyways.
I'd say just tell him it doesn't fit and then go get the coat you want.
I do want a picture though...of the coat on you as well as the shirt.
you know, you could go somewhere in between and say "it's not really my style, but thanks for thinking of me ..."
e+
Jamie-
Well, it was nice of him to try. But, I'm with DB -- he probably just hasn't a clue for women's clothes. If it's not T & A most men are clueless.
Corona
he bought you something without you asking? huhm...i don`t think it`s another woman, but maybe he wants something from you 
Maybe he was just trying to be nice....
Everyone knows that buying your significant other a coat is the universal sign that he's tri-polar.
I am assuming that Jason has been banned from the internet?
Otherwise this post is ironic.
Buying a coat is not in the manual for women, so i don't know why he deviated from the plan.
My recommendation is to take him back and have him looked at. I bet there is something wrong with his engine block.
LOL
I personally would tell him it was FUGLY, then I'd put it up on Ebay. As soon as that sucker sold, I'd buy myself a new pair of shoes *spike heels* to step on his p*nis with if he is cheating! lol
Girl -
Your boy bought you a coat to wear cuz he loves. If you don't like him, tell him and go with him to exchange it. that way you can use that opp to tell him what you like and don't, so 150 years from now when he buys you an unsolicited gift again, he'll get you something you'll like...
...or just stuff it in the closet and wear your boobie shirt.
-KS
Yeah, I'd say tell him.
Because eventually (like maybe 8 years from now) he's gonna pass a storefront window, see a coat that looks vaguely like the one he bought you, realize that he's NEVER seen you wear it and start asking you about it.
Mind you, if you don't care that he's gonna ask you about it in 8 years just jam it in the back of the closet. At least you won't have to worry about it again until 2014.
bummmer. are you sure he doesnt read your blog? or if he does, that he will think it is funny and laugh about it while on his way to another store to make up for it?
oh he's up to something all right. return that coat and buy that boy a treat
Many laughs---but my favourite was "he bought you an ugly goat" . Can't stop gigglilng.
He defintely redeemed himself with the shirt. It's also sweet that he bought it on his own. Mr. Escape Artist learned early on the very narrow category and type of gifts he could surprise me with, but not early enough. Apprently, I acted too graciously so he bought more of the same type of butt-fugly stuff, so I learned direct is better, especially when told with "tit"illating delicacy.
BTW, dumb ars me, realized I had not adjusted my display settings when my computer was replaced when it was repaired. I can SEE!!! Translation, I'll be on your site catching up on your golden words.
Maybe try it on n front of him. If he sees the full horror of it he may suggest taking it back and buying you something your arse looks great in to match the new shirt!
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