Talk to the Goat
Hee hee hee hee.
Hee.
Seriously though, you make a good case, Jay.
OMG I am laughing so hard. How about that Runaway song? Where they guy says why why why why did she run away. I think his whiny voice drove her to drinkin, and she ran to the nearest bar.
You know Aretha does lay it all out there. She says "You better give me my propers when you get home." She makes it clear (with back-up singers to help her drive it home: ree-ah ree-ah ree-ah ree-ah ree-ah-pect) that he better "find out what it means to me." Aretha is not low maintanence. She wants it, but she makes you figure out how she wants it and if you miss your cue, well, something tells me she has experience hurling a cast-iron skillet and you better get out of the way, fool.
I always thought 'Different Drum' was the best 'piss the hell off!!' song ever.
As for Sister Golden Hair, I know a filthy version involving the transfer of several nasty STDs.
And I can't listen to 'Incense/Peppermints' without thinking of Russ Meyer's 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls'
What a great film.
Jay, this was a superb post. Truly hilarious.
This is sooo funny.
3. If it ever rains men I am going outside to catch a couple.
4.I loved Elvis, but I sure cannot argue with this one.
11. Been there. I now have free minutes for incoming calls. Let them use their minutes up. LOL
12. Back when I lived the Beatnik life we even had good deordorant which leads me to believe it must be improved today.
13. I have deep respect for your mom.
Give me Ben Folds Five's Song for the Dumped for some proper lyrics and sentiment any day!
(Although I'm rather partial to It's Raining on Prom Night for a funny tale!)
Naturally I shall be singing the postman song for the rest of the day, so thanks for that.
For # 3?
I once saw it 'rain' men at a male strip club. Ok, so technically they were being lowered on wires but close enough.
Anything involving half naked men is close enough.
I could add several to this...
Oh Hell, this was the funniest thing I've read in awhile.
I have to say, some of the oldies i like, but most of it, NAHHH!!!
I'll stick with my regular everyday music, that makes sense.
LMAO!! such complete common sense is hard to argue with Jay! When you're right, you're right.
For the record, I knew a few men that were not only capable of "hurrying love" it was all they were capable of. Say, it was over from beginning to end in three minutes flat! (hehehehe)
Funny and fun post Jay!
3T
You forgot the worst and most contradictory song (OK, worst is Mcarther's Park is melting in the dark..WTF) - "Your so vein - you probly think this song is about you"...
It is fucking about "you"! Tho whole fucking song drones endlessly about "you". Geeze...
i love this!!!
so many songs that i used to listen to, thinking how wonderful the lyrics are, yet years later, you've left me wondering wtf?
#4 Probably because Jesus could relate to Hoffman's character. He too was worried about his future.
Frozen squid and cows? Huh. I learned something new today.
LMAO...that is great girl...love your perspective
Thank you for clearing that up. For the record, My mamma don't dance and my daddy don't rock n roll etiher. Her arthritus is horrible and my dad prefers the standards.
Great idea for a post. Funny stuff. And there's so much more material to be plundered. Personal favorite: The Beatles' "Why Don't We Do It in the Road."
Long and Winding Road: least favourite Beatles song ever. I'd rather be locked in a room and subject to Revolution #9 than hear the long and winding song.
Jesus loves EVERYONE, especially sinners. So I think Mrs. Robinson is as lucky as the rest of us.
Personally, I want to know what the hell Steve Miller was talking about in the Joker. I mean, just what is "the pompatus of love"?
And I always feel bad for Sweet Loretta Martin. Thinking you're a woman when you're not must be traumatic on you after all.
Holy shit, that's priceless. And a lesson for songwriters to think beyond what rhymes!
I did like them. Now I'm a little cynical. Sheesh!
Great stuff, Jay. Very funny.
Actually, it did rain blood in India...although scientists are trying to figure out what the blood-like substance is.
Anyhoo - I've got another one.
When smoke gets in your eyes, of course your eyes are going to get really irritated. You might even melt your contacts to your eye balls!
I'm with you, girl. Seriously!
Do you have any idea how much enjoyment you add to my day?
Uh oh....are all of those really "oldies?" Yikes. I think I'm an oldie.
xo
jw
Thanks for the laugh! Loved your advice to the Marvelettes...
I love this post.
And not just because I know that "Jesus" was actually Mrs Robinson's Portugese gardener.
Couldn't the same argument be made against much of the trite that pass for lyrics these days?
I have Mrs-Robinson-envy, but I agree with the rest of it...
i love oldies, but its all so true! LOL
Bloody hilarious! I can always count on you writing something to crack a smile across my face.
Hahahahaha!! You're a funny chic!!!
Love it - you have a distinctive writing style - great!
Excellent.
I feel this dissertation sums up the quintessential paradox of the songwriters dilemna when striving to balance reality with a good tune for the masses.
Wot? Woz a good post, wannit!
I just like the golden oldies music grew up with it love it to bits
Oh, excellent! I don't hve time to read all your comments - sure they have already said how brilliant this is, thanks for making me laugh.
They are still very singable tho' aren't they.
How about respectable sex
NO MINUTE MEN!!!
Funny stuff; glad to see that I'm not the only one who sometimes takes things too literally!
Best laugh I've had all day.
I also feel bad for the horse with no name.
That has made me laugh so much!
If the Weather Girls want to be factual they should change it to 'it's reigning men' - as thanks to sexist and mysoginst heredity laws it is the men who reign.
My first visit to your blog - definitely one to book mark :o)
1. I don't trust Al Green with a dog.
2. If your in the desert. Do you really need a name?
3.Yeah but there's no need to crush Richard Simmons dreams.
4.That's cause Jesus loves us all and he like's to hear the juicy parts.
5. Charging for sex = No Respect
AHHHH I could go on forever but I choose not too.
Just remember that your old pal Bo Snagely is from alabama and i have no history of incest.
dang canadians.
LMAO! Are you having a sugar crash by chance
I have to admit I do love the verse "It's raining men, halleluhah, it's raining men AMEN."
i love you!
/bark bark bark
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl please! funniest blog ive read in a while. nice work!!
/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I guess ya just had to be there, lol
P.S. At the risk of being accused of blasphemy... Elvis was a dog (attitude) anyway
That was excellent!
Peace,
Tim
New Orleans
LMAO That was great. Jesus loves MrsR and who hasn't probably.
Sometime you have to wonder did they put the lyrics in so that they rythme or are they not thinking and the songs where you dont get it dont you wish they put some stupid lyric in there to make it sound right.
Have a nice weekend
That was fantastic! I must be pathetic - oldies are the only thing I can stomach anymore, with the sorry excuse for music out there today. James Blunt?!? Are you kidding me?!?
Saw you over at Jolynn's and thought I'd drop by to say I understand why you don't get it.
But it's because of our current preznut, er, president, you know, our commander-in-thief, uh, the *idiot* running our country, oy, I could go on and on...
...glad I stopped by, your post is very funny and I love a humorous twist any day!
Wonderful post. But all we Alabamaians aren't that way, just most of them. I'm one of the few good ones 
Passing through on Blog Explosion,but I had to tell you, this was truly hilarious. Do more!
I've never seen it rain men, but I've seen fire. And I've seen rain. And I've seen men get fired. So that ought to count.
"Maybe it was a lie when they said he was high classed, but the truth is, you wore bedazzled jumpsuits" was the highlight of my day. So good.
and how can we forget that delightful sam cooke offering? cupid should be taken up on charges of assault with a deadly weapon and dear ol' sam be locked up right beside him for inciting the assualt repeatedly...
...though i gotta say, I for one LOVE atlantic/ stax and motown, where would we be without 'em eh?!
WOW...who knew that so many of the classic oldie songs were up for investigation? And who knew that each one had a secret message hidden in it? And now I'm starting to wonder...how much time do y'all really got on your hands? LOL...
This is great! Thank you sooo much for the laugh, and musical insight!
for someone who hates them so much, you sure know a lot of them.
of course, i know all of them, too. and i hate them.
(except the infallible al green).
e+
Oh, but the oldies are so much less infuriating than what's out NOW!!
"My Humps."
NEED I SAY MORE??
Don't forget Emmerson, Lake and Palmer's classic, 'Still...You Turn Me On:"
Every day a little sadder
A little madder
Someone get me a ladder!
Someone get him a better rhyming dictionary is more like it!
I've never really thought about the horse with no name until just now. It saddens me a bit too.
12. Isn't incense AND peppermints a bit of overkill? And if it's not overkill, then I've got news for you: since the days of beatniks and politics, there have been amazing leaps and bounds in the field of embarrassing body odours. Buy a stick of deodorant, and you're good to go!
This is the one I liked most.
Awonderful post !
I laughed when I finished reading. The funny thing is that I dont laugh much. Congrats !
Incense drives me crazy!! It's soo gross to me. Thanks for the chuckles!
LOL! GREAT post!!
This is a fantastic post! You have inspired me to start drafting up a version of this myself - with "just propers" to your posting of course. Having grown up in the 50s and loved the 60s music, I know there is a lot of fodder out there for this kind of post without worrying about duplicating your examples.
...Bryan Hyland's "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Bikini" comes to mind. Didn't she try the bikini on in the store or look at herself in the mirror at home before taking it to the beach?
...Again - Fantastic post!
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