Talk to the Goat
WHY don't you live closer? I think the four of us would get along so well!
"Getting high and watching 3 Men and a Baby is exactly as entertaining as it sounds." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is better.
"and he rarely means just his penis." *Snort* Although that's probably the bonus.
Well, his penis does like to get rewarded for the presents he brings home!
LOL! Eh! So he doesn't know the difference between quiche and souffle. As long as he eats it with enthusiasm! 
MMMmmmmm!!! Chocolate meringue pie?! That sounds delish Jay! The hiking? Sounds painful and too much like work. And maybe even a little dangerous!
Sounds like you had a full and enjoyable weekend Jay! 
3T
All that in his pockets? what a guy!
Medical tape is evil. Or maybe it was the nurse that ripped off my skin with it that was evil. I forget!
You are spoiled my dear! Tell Jason to come see me at the Lion Safari and bring me presents... spread the love!
...and I thought women just wanted a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T...
Some weddings just seem pointless, but as that old saying goes, "Every pot has it's cover." I guess if my ex can be happy living the way he is now than anything can happen.
lettuce stole my comment.
I also want a treat!!!!!
So now I want butterscotch pudding and a nice spinach quiche. Great.
Yes. You are supposed to get excited about 2 dull, ugly, borderline moronic people.
Hooray cause they are containing the dull, ugly, borderline moronicability.
i think i'll go get high and watch 3 men and a baby now..
I too was dragged to MI3 this weekend. Is it just me or is Tom Cruise's smile and nose getting crookeder -whatever crookeder is to a word -?
But Therese - they are also going to produce spawn, further weakening the genetic pool. Couldn't we just send them to some sort of containment facility?
You're too warped for the wedding season?
Try this on for size:
I just attended the wedding shower of a woman whom I'm CONVINCED is marrying a raging homosexual. As a fellow fag, I'm incensed by this. Understandably so, especially if you saw the decor!
I of course purchased the gift off the registry. I however, also purchased a second, plain wrapped gift and put it in the pile:
A strap-on.
I will have my own private hell ... I'm aware of that.
All I can say is man, those must be some damn big pockets!!!
A little saying from Yorkshire to help re point 11 and ugly/mean/fill in as appropriate people marrying one another
"at least they won't spoil two houses"
Everyone should be boycotting MI3 because Tom Cruise is a raving lunatic.
As for a wedding between two ugly, borderline moronic people getting married, I say "horray!" because that's one less ugly, borderline moronic male who will try hitting on me. There are far too many of them out there.
Earl, I absolutely love your gift idea! What was the reaction when the gift was opened?
The additional gift was laughed off as a funny gag-gift but, the bride to be had the glazed look of astonishment as though someone has recently read her diary.
Regarding the wedding season...none of my friends are CLOSE TO GETTING HITCHED THANK GAWD!!!
SO no worries about getting outfits this summer.
Oh the post from Sunday! WHAT IS SEX??!!
#9 made me laugh because a few days ago I started making banana bread, before I realized the bananas were a little too, uh, ripe.
So I made banana-less banana bread (try saying that 3 times, fast.) It sucked. Don't try this at home.
Beth:
I have yet to come across a celebrity who was not a raving lunatic. Movies tend to have movie stars in them. It's a bitch of a cycle, but there it is.
Ear:
You are a true pioneer.
You are indeed warped, but we love you that way.
I'm back. Good to know that drum is still beating.
Chocolate meringue pie? Yummo. I commented earlier but it seems to have vanished. Who says "a few beer?" Is that some kind of regiional thing?
When I make quiche, I make a cream cheese pastry. Yum!
Jay, you take such great pictures! Too bad you weren't in some of them though......
I've found computer manuals are also quite effective sleep aids. Or NASCAR races. Guarenteed to put me out within 30 minutes without fail!
And I prefer chocolate pudding, though vanilla will do in a pinch.
He dragged you, huh? So I'm assuming that the nosebleed means that you DIDN'T like it...?
That's the first I've heard of Tom Cruise causing nosebleeds. You should write in the Journal of Medicine to be the first credited with noticing the epidemic.
ever got smoked up and took the bus to the mall that is some experience to you must try that. The poor married couple at they say each skew pot got a skew lid.
Too fregin funny!
Am sure the penis suprise is his gift eh?
I think #3 stopped me cold
You are a riot Miss Jay!
Maybe L. Ron will come back to collect them both... and take the child for free.
MI3, ha! I've been fortunate enough to have balls bigger than Jeff's and have managed to avoid not only 3 but 2 and 1 as well.
Oh, and HI Jay.
So... what did ya do with the butterscotch pudding in your dream? I assume it's soft, fluffy stuff and a good accompaniment for warm flesh
Damn, I don't get presents when my boy comes home late.
Wait, we don't live together. That could be part of it.
I'm still jealous.
That was funny.
But Therese - they are also going to produce spawn, further weakening the genetic pool. Couldn't we just send them to some sort of containment facility?
Dammit.
Dammit, yes. The island. Let's send all moronic ugly boring people to an island. They'll eventually starve cause they won't figure out how to feed themselves.
Whenever I hear Beyonce's Naughty Girl I think of a remark my then 4 year old said. "I know why she's naughty." I asked why. "Because she wants to have sex." That is the answer I received from a 4 year old. 4. I was shocked.
Borderline morons need love too Jamie... LOL
when i have leftover pastry, i sprinkle it with a brown sugar and cinnamon mixture, roll it up, cut it into one inch pieces and bake it, pretending they are cinnamon buns, the kids love them, but they are rich because the buns are pastry, not bread.
i think i'm boycotting MI3, unless the kids force me to go. can we expect a full review? maybe from jason's point of view?
In answer to #11 on why to be happy at the wedding...just keep thinking ab. the liquor they will be serving after the wedding. It's what always gets me through a boring ceremony!
I think I'm done with weddings forever. I am 38 and was just asked to be a bridesmaid. EXCUSE ME??????????????????????
Deer. Perhaps they are thinking of 'deer' having no 's'... beer on the other hand needs the 's' to be plural. Beer. Deer. So close.
I use to be scared to death of Three Men and a Baby.
Mostly because I thought the 'person' hiding in the window was a ghost.
No, you shouldn't be excited, you should be filled with dread...what if they breed?
There is no good way to watch 3 men and a baby.
Unless you have the soulless vacuum of death in your eyes, that is.
Wedding season can be fun, but you kinda have to make your own fun. Getting drunk is the #1 to do this. Just gotta be careful you don't say something stupid to the bride or groom in our drunken state.
I hope your finger is healing well. Medical tape sucks.
I love how you find so many lemons throughout your day and make them into Spanish Fly!
And I gotta ask...
Why is #2 your most hated foe?
And...
Why on earth would you go hiking when there is crappy television shows at home?!
I am allergic to all bandaids and medical tape. I have the world's most sensitive skin, and the rash that I get is actually a cake walk compared to the other crappy things that happen. When I had surgery on my back, the doctor scooped out a pound of flesh, but I actually have worse scars from the 4 months of medical tape that covered my back. I had a nurse at my home every single day, and I would have to get doped up just to have her rip the stuff off my back. It itched so badly I made Jason scratch even though he drew blood. I was covered in hives that wouldn't heal, scabs an inch thick. I love several layers of skin. The nurse ordered 3 different kinds of hypo-this-and-that for me, but nothing works. It sucks. It IS my most hated foe, and somehow, I bleed enough to be reminded of it fairly often.
p.s. We spend so much time outdoors because we don't actually subscribe to any TV service. I don't miss it. I think Jason misses the tits on MTV a bit, but ah well, the world is full of sacrifice
Jason seems to have large pockets
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