Talk to the Goat
You inspire me...lovely though heartbreaking story.
I've been on both sides of this story. And while I'm past it now, I totally understand why you don't donate your time. It is soul sucking difficult.
I know that just delivering the food hampers is sad enough..... but to be in your shoes in that store would have undone me too Jay. And my heart would have broken seeing someone I knew.
Bless you.
This is so beautifully done, Jay. It should be the NEW Christmas Story. I hope you submit it someplace becasue besides being so well written, it says more than any other thing I've ever read about this time of year.
And I ache for what you went through and continue to go through with this memory. The question of money versus time, time that continually pounds you to the soul, is really the heart of what we face every time we are asked to lend a hand, isn't it? We spent years doing community service as teacher union leaders but we didn't have to face it the way you did. Now our focus is on family and what we can do to help there. That's just the stage of life we're in now. But I know one day I'll be back to Hospice and it'll be a different kind of bleakness and I'll have to face what you faced. I hope I have the courage because I certainly owe the debt.
I've been lucky; the other volunteer work that I've done and continue to do has left me feeling like I made like just a little bit better, or easier, or happier, for someone, but this was one experience that was just plain crushing.
This brought tears to my eyes. I almost never cry, unless watching a sad movie or when I see someone else crying. I almost never cry when reading a blog, even if it's a heartfelt entry.
This entry brought tears to my eyes.
I'll come back later with suitable suggestions for the pan; it's not just for cranberries.
You made me cry.
I've been the recipient of Christmas hampers and gifts for the kids.
And I know a lot of scammers.
Perhaps I'll post one day.
I think you gave her the best gift possible. True empathy.
thank you for sharing
Yes you made me cry...Yes you should submit this somewhere so it can be published.
Yes you are extremely talented and warped at times but I love reading your blog.
Giving things is much easier then giving your soul..and I think that there are certain people for each task.
Your story cuts right to the heart. You are a beautiful woman!
Merry Christmas and God Bless you!
The Cake Lady,
Your words are very inspiring.
I feel so... shallow. Especially after yesterday's post and wondering what else I could get for Hoop. It doesn't seem nearly so important now. Thank you.
Wow. Came here through Sparky, and what a day to start reading - I'll most definitely be back. Thank you for sharing this story...
Jay, I think you have made me cry more than any other blogger. Wow, that is a tremendously moving post.
For the lonest time, I was strugling to make ends meet, I usually did but with some sacrifice. Today I'll ohhing and ahhing over the idea of buying a new plasma TV and/or a laptop. Thanks for reminding me about the important stuff Miss Jay.
You're a good person, Jay. You truely empathize with people. I wish there were more of you out there.
I'm speechless because I found this post to be so humbling, and a reminder to put my own "issues" into perspective.
I love volunteering. It's so much better than work. Even if you show up late, they're still happy that you're there.
You're a good egg.
***big hugs***
I'd be lying if I said that a tear wasn't presently rolling down my cheek.
Merry Christmas.
G.
I hate you. For bringing out truths so poignantly.
I love you. For bringing out truths so poignantly.
(I don't really hate you, but I know you understand what I mean)
Paul and I were talking about poverty and the Holidays a couple of nights ago. How if we were rich, we wouldn't be for long.
Your writing and your insights never cease to amaze me Jay. My respect, admiration and love for you, knows no bounds...
Very good post. I was kind of in the opposite position, but nowhere near as bad. I was compelled to service someone I'd gone to school with and I felt ashamed that I was working in such a demeaning job when he was obviously well-off enough to go down to where I was working on a weekday. There is a shame in knowing you both came from the same set of circumstances, but that one person is doing obviously better than the other.
It really is HARD to volunteer. I used to go work in the soup kitchens in Baltimore for ten days every summer in High School and it was heartbreaking, even when I didn't know the people. It always makes me wish that there was more I could do to make the world a better place for people.
Great post Jay.
I grew up in a house that didn't really celebrate Christmas, not the way most families did. My presents were cheap ones, probably given to them by friends.
My brother and I would scan the Sears catalog, pretending to make Christmas Wish Lists, knowing I'd get some 50-cent puzzle made out of cardboard.
It's not easy, but you do the best you can. And maybe hope for better days.
Jay, I'm sure she'll have lots of prayers said for her this Christmas.
they will leave their dignity at home..."
No one should have to leave their dignity in order to ask for help but so many of us do.
This post made me cry.
It's so difficult to deal with when it hits home that you'd rather be a 3rd party donation-giver than one who can look people in the eye. Either way you choose to do it, you are helping.
I don't know her face but it breaks my heart too. You painted such a vivid picture. You should send this to a local newspaper. Perhaps you could inspire your city as well.
Thank you. I'm going to look up my local food bank right now.
you've given SO MUCH back to your community, and you should be proud of yourself. there are too many people out there who don't know the true meaning of poverty or hunger (and they drive me insane with their pleas for pity), and you are much wiser for knowing EXACTLY what poverty is, by witnessing it first-hand. bravo, jay, for a well thought out-- as well as thought provoking-- post.
That was a wonderful post! I didn't know you were back. I'm glad and now I can keep checking in on you!
I have been on both sides of that coin. I think, in many ways, just being there and crying were more of a gift than you could EVER imagine.
Once, I volunteered and helped feed the homeless, and went home, hungry, to a kitchen without food. But I had a home...a place to go to...and I was grateful, nonetheless.
"...but the time cost me a debt that I am still figuring out how to repay." Sometimes, just that burning in your soul is enough repayment. Just being aware...and blogging about it to make others aware...is enough Jay.
But, I know how you feel. You will never let go of that moment...that visit. It will stay with you, always. But it will also stay with her, always. And while the reason may not always be clear, take what you can from it, and continue to use it to be the light that you are.
Volunteering to help others is a difficult thing to do unless you are able to detach yourself somewhat while still caring enough to let it show. I avoid putting myself in situations that require me to help others who have less than I becuase I feel guilty for having so much and want to make it better for everyone and can't. So I avoid it entirely. You've made me see my shame.
"It's different when hunger has a face."
It surely is. What a sad story; one I am sure could be repeated again and again everyday in America and other parts of the world. Pray for her. It will help you both.
Great post Jay. More people use the food bank they we think. Everyone needs help at some point of his/her life. When you can give someone can hand, why not help out?
That's always the hardest. When you see someone from your past struggling to survive and you wonder if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Like maybe if you had said, "Hello," more often or shown just an ounce more of kindness towards them...just something, you know?
But since we cant right all the wrongs in the world, it's nice to know there are opportunities for us out there to help those that are less fortunate. Thanks for reminding us Jay...
So sad- but good on you for caring ;O)
That is exactly what Christmas and life is really all about, the willingness to 'rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep'. Heartbreaking? Most definitely, but I'm glad you have the courage to face the ugly side of life and help out rather than turn away. That kind of giving, of yourself, is truly priceless and the effects are far reaching.
Jay, I understand your struggle with volunteering, I would feel the same way. One Christmas I wanted to take Christmas dinner to the people on the streets in Halifax but struggled with what I would do if they became insulted so I took the coward way out and didn't go.
How terribly sad!
But how amazing that you are there to help. Good for you, Sweetie. Anything we do can mean so much to someone who is not as lucky...
I've been involved in the food drive end of the food bank, but it never occurred to me to wonder what happened to the food after we delivered it to the bank. To think of all the folks in need having to swallow their pride in order to accept what others so easily give in order to make themselves feel better.
Thank you
I agree with all those folks who said that you should submit this somewhere. Hit all your local papers. And do it sooner rather than later because they'll want to publish it before Xmas.
That is so sad. Cruel world we live in isn't it?
:-(
Speechless.
I'll say a prayer too. And one for you, just for good measure.
If I don't get to check in before Christmas... have a wonderful one Jay (and Jamie), and a happy New Year. 2006 for me has been full of secret joys, and some of them have been because of you. May you have many of your own at this time and in the year to come.
Peace
Dee
This has to be one of the best told stories I have read. God bless you Jay, God bless your friend. Thank you for sharing.
I am here by way of Dazd (http://dacfh.blogspot.com/)
How heartbreaking. I have no wise words, but I am deeply moved.
I've just started reading your blog. Beautiful story, beautifully told. I live in the city, thanks for reminding me that there are things I can do.
Hey, you know what the goat reminds me of? "Sad Goat" on CBC's now expired The Roundup. Oh, you've probably heard that a million times. Now, a million and one!
Thanks so much for that post! 
Damn, what do you say after that?
I take the cowards way out too, gifts for the angel tree, money to the Salvation Army and focus on my own little crowd, because you're right, it's really hard when poverty has a face.
A beautiful, heartbreaking story.
I ran a battered women's shelter. At Christmas, I made them a big meal and tried to provide gifts for them and their children. A lot of local merchants contributed items.
Eventually, I was fired because the director felt that I wasn't "professional" enough as I really cared about these people.
The painful situation of poverty will never end as long as those who purport to be part of the solution are really a part of the problem.
So much of what's wrong in the world is so abstract. If more people could put a face on the problems big and small all around us, there would be fewer and fewer of them.
I do the Angel Tree thing every year. I can live with the grown-ups but when a kid ASKS for underwear it breaks my heart. Wonder, heart touching story
Also: I fixed the link at my blog for my MySpace blog. I had the wrong URL listed. Sorry 'bout that.
dammit girl - i don't come here to cry!
*sniff*
good to see you're back with us though.
I grew up in a small town and have been left wondering where some people ended up. I used to help with the food bank but don't now. Don't think that buying extra groceries is anything but a kind, thoughtful and generous act.
jay
would you believe if I say that it is lovely !!
Merry Christmas !!
How heartbreaking, you brought a tear to my eye. Our old family friends are going through the same thing and it just makes me feel selfish and almost hopeless that I can't do anything to help them.
But have a Merry Christmas!
Jay you are good people. I wish there were more people like you in the world.
I never know what to expect on those days when I finally get the chance to catch up on my blogroll reading. Some are funny, some are politics, and some are boring...
...I was not prepared for this soul-searching, heart-wrenching post. I work with the elderly, not on a volunteer basis, but for a less than stellar salary, and I see so much of what you write.
I don't think I could volunteer for the program you described. Like you, I would have to make donations.
I won't say thanks for the tears in the corners of my eyes ... but it was a wonderful post.
Wow.
You can not really say you are taking the cowards way out. People donate what they can. And you are donating more than most people are.
The cowards way out is to not donate anything. To pretend that this problem does not exist. To not think about this, and just go on with life - concerned about only how many gigabytes of storage your I-Pod has.
I LOVE THIS POST!!
Have a great week Hon
Ouch.
In a really good way.
Come..uhhh...see me if you can. There really is some good stuff going on in the world. It's still pretty painful to watch and be a part of, but I must. I simply must.
You're a good soul. Thanks for being honest.
I love you Jay ... I love your heart and I love your conscience. You inspire me and make me weepy and guilty for thinking how bad my life sucks when some would die to have a quarter of what my kids and I throw away. No, I'm not wealthy, but when I stop to consider, in some ways, I am a very rich man. Knowing you makes me even richer. Merry Christmas sugar.
TG
You have more strength than most; me included. There is always something unsettling because perhaps we fear we may see a reflection of ourselves. Although it must have been quite difficult, you've given so much.
I volenteer at a local mission a couple of time a month. I had a simular experience but it was one of the kids i used to be the scout master for at the scout troup.
I managed to get him a job.
wish i could for everyone.
What a beautiful, sad story. You've hit a nerve here.
I'll be thinking about this for a long time. Thankyou.
That is one of the most powerful and sobering posts that I've read. Thank you for that, and I hope you and Jason have a peaceful and happy Christmas.
you've a good heart, jay. i don't think there's anything else to say but that.
At the root of it all is how and why the town's main industry shut down...? Couldn't compete? Not enough business? Not enough profit? Why does economics have to be so cut-throat? Supply and demand is all relative.
This just touched me....I can't stop crying.
I volunteer my time at church for Christmas food baskets...and it never seems like enough. I know I can do more, but yet I don't because of my own fear of seeing someone I know.
Isn't that the craziest thing? Why do I do that? Who knows.........
Just stopped by to say Merry Christmas!!
Happy holidays, dear.
amazingly written. touching. excuse me while I wipe some tears.
and Merry Christmas too! keep up with the brilliant posts.
I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a good friend who is always there for me in times of need. One phone call and she is there with money, groceries or just a shoulder to cry on. You are a truly wonderful person. The would needs more people like you.
Hiya Dude,
Assuming you can drag yourself away from the eggnog to read emails, here is wishing you Happy Festivus and hope you have a terrific Solstice and an even better 2007.
That really makes you think about things from a different perspective!
Hope you have a lovely Christmas and thank you for the card
xx
Merry Christmas to you and yours Jay. Much love for you.
TG
Back to blogging for a bit just to say, "Happy Holidays!!" to you.
missy
Merry Christmas, Jay!
Oh, and Merry Xmas to you two 
Merry Christmas, sweet Jay! Both you and your husband are very special people for donating your time and money to causes like Adopt-a-family and Toy Mountain.
I hope you are spending today with those you love, and those that love you.
May the New Year bring you enough challenges to keep you sharp, and enough peace to so you can enjoy the challenges.
Merry Christmas. All the best to you and Jason
My jaw is on the floor...that was outstanding.The message is wonderful but the actual writing itself is incredible. Your very talented.
I just had a bit of a cry, told Paul I love him and how we have all we need, I was so moved by this post, thank you for reminding me to see the important things.
Geeezzzz...and to think that the first thing that came to mind as I clicked onto your blog was "Kill the Goat! I'm hungry!"
On Thanksgiving Day, I volunteered to deliver food to the elderly. I could barely finish the job without breaking down.
Volunteer work has taught me to count my all of my blessings. Great post, Jay.
Hope you are enjoying the Christmas holidays.
Take care.
That made me very sad.
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