lol
Noah the town drunk

lovely way with words.
so i guess you wont be skiing...
Minion | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 4:20 am | #

Me, I have to stay away from motorcycles. It wasn't God who told me, just a vivid dream in which I actually died, yes died, in my dream. I think if I never ride a motorcycle I will live forever. Yes, I truly believe this.
Uisce | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 6:55 am | #

I think one of the things I love about you most, Jaimie, is that you defy all stereotypes. I was in NY state for my entire career since college and never got on skis. And I don't even have a story as good as yours. It was always just, "I don't have any money" or "I don't want to break anything." Happy New Year, my friend!
Bud Buckley | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 8:23 am | #

Oh yes indeed, God definitely has a sense of humor

Happy new year, dear.
LisaBinDaCity | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 12:14 pm | #

Wow we both must have had the same convo with God about the skiing thing. I'm the same as you, heights and speed make me hurl all of my cookies.

Take up cross stitching, it's much safer Jay dear.
Jude | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 4:40 pm | #

I think God just told me to copy this post in cross stitch.

You are too funny! Now I have to read it to my husband, who is doing something else, because everybody needs a good laugh.

Happy New Year to you and Jason.
heartinsanfrancisco | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 5:03 pm | #

Never skiied. Never had any desire to ski - but the "apres ski" part with cosy fireplaces, drinks and hopefully a mega romantic evening could be "do-able".

Kinda like me and golf...see you at the 19th hole!
JustSue | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 5:29 pm | #

He obviously loves you more than me, because totally forgot to stop by my place and warn me. If He had, I'd never have flattened that sign. :-/
candace | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 5:31 pm | #

Showing up without a hostess gift is the ulimate sin!

Glad you survived the slopes...& know better than to try them with snow.
Chick | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 6:25 pm | #

So you're saying you chose well?
Chai | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 7:28 pm | #

Geez - where the hell were you when I tried to get out of skiing huh?
Jeannie | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 7:29 pm | #

You never fail to make me smile. I'm grinning from ear to ear and I haven't even seen your fat calves or your "assets" that won't quit.

Happy New Year, Sugarplum!


Droog | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 8:59 pm | #

It sounds like you have the basis for a movie there. After all, it's been a little while since we had a good God movie. I'm picturing Dennis Quaid...
Comfort Addict | Homepage | 12.31.06 - 9:59 pm | #

hahahahha...ahhh J, you make me laugh

Happy New Year Sweetie
meeta | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 12:09 pm | #

Inc | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 12:31 pm | #

Happy New Year! Sorry I've been neglecting your blog--Not just yours, so don't feel special--I've been neglecting EVERYONE.
Leslie | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 12:45 pm | #

Happy New Year, Sweet Jay!
bornfool | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 3:21 pm | #

Like 'meeta' I say: hahahahahahaha.... ah, J, you make me laugh.

But only because you say you're modest. hahahahahahahahah.
Kelly | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 3:22 pm | #

Happy new year!
Teena in Toronto | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 5:18 pm | #

Noah and I would have gotten along. We both like to drink. He owns a boat. What more could a girl ask for.
Mist 1 | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 7:36 pm | #

I have never had an urge to hurtle down a mountain of snow and ice either, but the apres ski hot buttered rum sounds too good to pass up! Meet you in the lounge?

Happy New Year!
kenju | Homepage | 01.01.07 - 7:41 pm | #

Never Skied, Never will
Monica | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 12:01 am | #

Sounds like you speak of skiing the way I speak of snowboarding.

NEVER. AGAIN.
mojo shivers | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 5:18 am | #

Happy New Year!
Malnurtured Snay | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 9:51 am | #

Happy new year! I love your new look (please say it's new because I am a big poopie head who hasn't been around much)
I love your conversation with the Big Guy! But what is it that Jason did to gain old maid status? I hope there is redemption by him in the next installment of Kill the Goat.
Lois Lane | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 10:21 am | #

love you love the show.. happy etc
JQP | 01.02.07 - 12:02 pm | #

Too bad Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't listen to God.
The Phoenix | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 1:30 pm | #

I went skiing once. I was 17. I have never gone back. (I am also scared of heights)
Genevieve | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 1:54 pm | #

Good to see you in good spirits. Like Leslie I must confess to serious blog neglectitude so my new years resolution is to visit friends and other blogs more often. But, as Blake Edwards said to Peter Sellers, if God calls again, hang up.
Culfy | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 3:23 pm | #

Happy New Year to both you and the old maid, lol
DB | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 5:04 pm | #

Uh, God would be the old maid I was referring to...you know, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
Jay | 01.02.07 - 5:33 pm | #

happy new you to you and jason!
i can water ski, i'm sure it's the same principal, but i think you would hit the snow alot harder, so, no thanks.
better safe than sorry | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 8:38 pm | #

Hello, Sonny Bono!!
Sparky Duck | Homepage | 01.02.07 - 10:06 pm | #

Haha good one.

Happy new year Jay!
Tawcan | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 12:07 am | #

Sometime, my dear, I wonder what is going in in htat very pretty and niv=cely coiffed head of yours. Most of the time I'm scared I'll find out.

It was a funny read though.
blackcrag | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 12:48 am | #

You never fail to amuse and entertain. PSSST: Does Jamie know about Mark?
Junebugg@msn.com | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 2:44 am | #

I suck at slopes...I went snowboarding once and I fell....A LOT!!!

GOD told me he was dating JULIA CHILDS recently, but then he broke up with her because she kept telling him to stuff a turkey.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
mrsmogul | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 9:27 am | #

sounds best for all concerned
Snagley | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 9:33 am | #

*giggling* (while watching for any lightening bolts coming from the ceiling)

Sometimes it's best to honor God's wishes. (Skiing is over rated if ya ask me)

Here's to a wonderful 2007!

Cheers!

3T
3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 9:42 am | #

Sometimes good advice comes from unlikely places. Just remember swearing to not ski doesn't mean you can't hang out in ski lodges by the fire knocking back libations. That is the best part of skiing!
Molly | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 10:11 am | #

Hey, You get no arguements from me, I'm scared of the whole falling from great heights or small heights myself.

Have a great day!
jenny | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 10:32 am | #

Gosh. I wish God talked to me so clearly!
OGO | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 2:24 pm | #

Terrific story. Ironically,I have you linked with your comment about your skiing experience on my current post. I re-posted the humorous (to my hubby and me) honeymoon skiing fiasco in honour of our anniversary.
Happy New Year, J.
GEL | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 3:33 pm | #

Are you sure he didn't bring appletinis? Cause this sounds like a conversation I would have if I were drunk.
Tink | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 3:42 pm | #

I tried to ski...ONCE. I didn't get off the ski lift properly, got the front of my skis stuck in a snow bank and the seat behind us smacked me in the ass.

I haven't skied since.
warcrygirl | Homepage | 01.03.07 - 4:04 pm | #

so, whats wrong with platypusses?

(platypi?)
Lettuce | Homepage | 01.04.07 - 3:45 am | #

I love the platypus. It the perfect animal. Realy.
zydeco fish | Homepage | 01.05.07 - 3:49 pm | #

good thing the equator isn't any good for skiing. at least the old maid got THAT right.

happy new year's, jay and jason.
{illyria} | Homepage | 01.05.07 - 9:38 pm | #

Nice and random... Wow. So is this Marks still single? Probably not...
Foundme | Homepage | 01.06.07 - 1:16 pm | #

LMAO.
Mia | Homepage | 01.06.07 - 3:27 pm | #

so you cave when you get some appletinis in ya huh? i have no idea what that is...but i have to say you left me wanting more ! :}

and believe me ur not alone ... new year's resolutions are bound to be broken...

god would say ... just like the 10 comandments...

funny story .. mark huh? so that was the never was person in your life! what did god see in him?

i mean it's clear who's the right man for the job!! :}
cari | Homepage | 01.06.07 - 3:40 pm | #

I guess I'm the weirdo in the bunch. I absolutely LOVE skiing .. of course now I'm so old that I just have to LOOK at a ski lift wrong and my bones crack. God and Noah used to party hard. Bet he didn't tell you that part did he? And might I say, I have never met a more modest woman. It becomes you. Happy New Year Jay.
TG
Tommy | Homepage | 01.06.07 - 8:43 pm | #

Hope it's ok that I linked you?
LisaBinDaCity | Homepage | 01.07.07 - 11:54 am | #

Totally with you on the heights thing (or rather the depths thing as that's what gets me).

I'm all for the apres-ski bit - but without the ski. Makes much more sense.
Trundling Grunt | Homepage | 01.07.07 - 9:54 pm | #

Oh man... my soulmate when it comes to skiing. This was so hilarious. And I think Jason is the perfect man, because he doesn't get upset [big assumption here] when you post something like this!

Happy New Year, Jay!
panthergirl | Homepage | 01.08.07 - 8:12 am | #

Yay! Your comments section is finally back!
When I was 15, my stepdad thought it would be fun to teach me to ski. After 3 hours and many falls, I thought I was finally getting the hang of it. Except for that whole stopping without falling thing anyway.
Then I ran over a 9 year old kid because I couldn't stop and decided that maybe skiing was just not a good idea for someone who has trouble walking without falling.
Mrs X | Homepage | 01.09.07 - 2:35 am | #

went skiiing once a week for 6 weeks. almost killed self accidentally. never going skiing again.
need I write more? oy...
JeN | Homepage | 01.11.07 - 4:18 am | #

This is the funniest post I've read in...well, at least a month.
Julie | Homepage | 01.11.07 - 12:38 pm | #

God has a bit of an attitude, doesn't he

Stick to the appletiniis if you're not one for the slopes. You know, you can go up to the place and hang out at the bar cheering on those on the slopes even!
snowcrush | Homepage | 01.11.07 - 1:01 pm | #

Very funny and I totally agree with you about skiing. Even the word looks weird when you type it...those 2 i's that each make their own sound are just unnatural.
seventh sister | Homepage | 01.15.07 - 11:11 am | #

Absolutely hilarious Babe! I loved it...when is your book coming out? (I would buy it: full price, hardcover, even.)
beckybumblefuck | Homepage | 01.23.07 - 9:31 am | #

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Kevin | Homepage | 02.02.07 - 6:28 pm | #

I can tell by your low self-esteem issues that you don't hear (or read) this enough, so: you are hilarious!!!
For all future martinis and ski slopes, I will think of you...
JK | Homepage | 12.03.07 - 1:09 am | #