Talk to the Goat
Your adventures just get better and better. Hope the blister hasnt been bothering you too much in your travels Jay 
the library is the best deal in town. they even keep their stuff sorted so it's easy to find.
do what ever it takes to stay on their good side.
Does your area do "non driver" ID cards? We have those here in the US. It's a picture ID at least. Sounds like things are looking up for you, though. You will find things falling into place soon! Luv ya!
Great post. I think wearing the lingerie to the library might get you that ccard without proper ID.
And who wants to be a member of the "public" anyway? Have you actually looked at or listened to most of the public lately?!?
-- david
I only have one form of id, too. I guess I can never live in Toronto... *sigh*
I'm not sure if I misunderstood you but no wonder Kinkos invited you back if you went in wearing just your underwear! I must have mis-read something somewhere! 
Glad you're feeling good. x
Fancy Panties are always a good call! Keep smiling Jay! You're clothes are clean the sun is shining and things are looking up!!
do you have a lease? That should work in lieu of a utility bill... it would have your name & address on it.
Hi - long time lurker, first time commenter!
The library is a really good deal. When you do get a job - your paycheck will probably have your new address on there - signifying that you do indeed have an address. What about a rent reciept?
And here in the US we do have non-driver's ID cards - my sister is a non-driver and has one.
Glad you're finding happiness.
No, I don't.
Glad your back. I was just about to ask the same question about the non driver license I D cards. I have one and they are great. If you dont know I would go to the DMV and find out. I have to say getting a library card anywhere you need the two things of ID. But not letting you use the photo copier come on. That doesnt make any sense to me one bit. Oh well life goes on.
I think life has become overly complicated. You have to have 2 forms of id to get anything, but you can get the id without all the other stuff! It's like trying to find a job without experience. Keep trying though! I'm glad you find the good in situations.
Great read! shame about the naff library service, it's a discrace, crappo service. Here's to better days and fancy panties!
Dang Jay, that's a messed up situation.
Sounds to me like you're going to have to visit again wearing a trenchcoat this time around.
Not sure how many books you'll be able to fit in one though...
OMG!!!!!! I would be pulling my hair out.
.....may I say, the writing has gotten better...
'I'd give my sight to see her, I'd give my sight, just to see her...'
I love that song. Great title.
I, too, have no license. But I did get an id in NS. You can get an id from wherever you get you driver's license in Ontario, it says on it 'Not a License' etc, etc.
To get something with your current address on it, I would have your landlord send you something; a receipt, a bill, anything. That may help you.
Or, you could just continue to get your tits out, which also works.
Consider it a blessing. Most people treat books they borrow the same as books they own, and some people take the books they own into their bathrooms.
I love the way you change your outlook by using the simple little things.
I choose boxers everday based on color and mood. I wear and use shirts the same way. I take little gifts from nature to brighten my day too. I wish I could feel sexy like you do and know I was turning the world on a bit by my presence, but such is the life of a regular joeshmoe male. On behalf of all those people you walked around, we thank you for smiling and being nice
I hope your library troubles get resolved. They are great places to hang, discover books, and get away.
last time i needed a library card in a new city (same exact problems as you) I sent a letter to myself through the mail and was able to use that as proof as my address... but we still gotta pay for a library card in calgary, i guess they don't support reading out here?!
In a way, it's kind of nice, isn't it, that you have simplified things to the point where you have to wait even to get a library card. Most of us find ourselves in a never-ending circle of bills, debts, rents, mortgages, etc. Paperwork to the hilt, but no real peace.
You've got a dearth of paperwork but seem to be gaining a lot of peace and wearing fancy panties on top of that. And that, Jay, is a good thing
I'm not a driver either, but I do have a G1 license! My dh is constantly bugging me to get my G so I went and did the test, got my license and use it for ID purposes. Granted it's not a cheap way to do it. I agree with pp's that said a rent receipt with your name and address should do it.
The library is good stuff, we must find a way to get that blasted card.
Did you try slipping her a $20? Oh wait, you could just have bought the non-resident thingy for that much...but at least it would have seemed cooler, giving you instant street cred with the librarians, which is the unit of commerce in a lot of bibilo type environs.
I have two comment thoughts here. I will let you decide which you like better
1) If they just gave out cards to EVERYBODY the TERRORISTS would end up with cards. Then they could make copies of their evil plans subsidised all along by your tax monies. We can't have that now can we? Oh, by the way, shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. People are reading.
2) Yes Yes to unsupportive barely there bras!!
Bloody Red Tape. Feel for you, and you've reminded me that I need a library visit myself.
SO, for our benefit, when they do card you (and they will) what will be on the 'to read' list?
I think the blog monster ate my comment. IT WAS HERE, I SWEAR !!!
I believe you can request a copy of your birth cirtificate and it can be used as a form of ID.
I never understood the whole library sciences degree thing either. Maybe I just don't understand the inner workings of a library. To me it just looks like books and stuff. But it must be so much more than that.
Whatev.
Fancy panties always make me feel better, although mine aren't really panties, just a certain peice of athletic wear us boys like to put on from time to time. Hope things are looking up for you.
I vote that you make it your mission to sabotage the public library. Some subterfuge to hide their books (or sneak them out permanently) and steal some copies while you are at it!
They used to have age of majority cards - (I had to have one to prove my age in bars although I had a drivers licence and I never got carded anyway)
perhaps you could ask for a rent receipt (pay in cash if you have to to get it)
That's really messed up anyway. I'm glad you are able to keep a sense of humour about the whole thing.
I'd forgotten what a pain in the ass it is to move - beyond just the moving part.
I had my wallet stolen a few years ago and it was way too easy to get a temporary license. I could have been a GUY and they would have given it to me.
Ironic that you can get a license to drive on the road and potentially hurt people easier than if you want to read books and better your mind.
Bet you're missing the Ottawa Public Library something fierce right now.
Oh my goodness -- what a Catch 22! What do they think you non-residents are going to do? READ?
I have a friend who actually holds an MLS degree - her take on the library is much the same as yours here! And you know what's worse than the little old cardigan ladies? It's that the few men who get MLSs are the ones who end up as the head administrators! No wonder the little old white ladies are such power mongers - it's all they've got!
But girl, we need you to have a library card! I have actually worn out two from 'overuse' - the library is the best thing... well... once you can actually USE it.
I need to do laundry today, am dreading it, but thanks to you I feel I can cope - all I need is my leopard thong and it will be all good!
Nice way to make your day fabulous.
Cant really relate to the boob jiggeling or the fancy panties.
I did have all my boxer shorts in the wash last week and had to wear breifs. It was truely horrible. felt like i was wearing a sling shot.
Ugh.
I just sneak into places and use their copiers when I'm not supposed to do. I've done this numerous times at university faculty offices. If I get caught I act dumb, grab my copies and run! Try it. It's almost as fun as wearing fancy panties.
Library fascists! I never heard such nonsense in all my life! Fancy panties do often save the day, don’t they?
They shouldn't be called Librarians. They should be called Book Nazis. Geesh!
Maybe you can hang out around the corner oft he Library and harrass kids as they go in...
"Pssst. Hey you. Wanna make some money? Go make copies of this for me and check out this book for me and you can keep the change..."
Oh, and I love it when you referance your bouncing breasts...
I have a G1 in my wallet, 5 years expired, with an Ottawa address from 4 moves ago and a picture taken on the morning of my 16th my birthday. It's of no use to anyone, except the joke I make of it passing around after the 5th daiquiri or so.
And Zona - the terrorists ARE winning. If you're well-funded enough to own the land you're plotting on, you can get a card. But pas moi.
Go to the mall, buy yourself a book then call it a night! lol
I may have to start wearing underwear just to see what it is like to wear fancy ones.
Our library is so poorly laid out I could walk out with anything and they would never notice.
Juggling along Toronto-streets ...
Hm, nice idea! Juggle on!
YAY for fancy panties!!
Those librarians sound like the postal workers we have here in Hooterville where I work. nazis.
Hey there - what is even worse is that those people who do practice fraud know 100 ways of proving that they are you, but honest people can have real conundrums to even meet the system the 85% required...
I once had my wallet stolen - and if the stealers had been really smart the best value they could have gained from it would have been to get as many library books as possible and sold them, because there was nothing else of value in there!
On you for putting on the fancy pants and putting a smile on your face - forward with the Make Toronto Smile campaign.
What is with two forms of identification anyway? It drives me nuts! I went to another bank, not my own to cash a check made out to me and they asked for two forms of ID and my thumb print! It wasn't even a large check. Seriously. If I'm going to steal a check and try and pass it off I'm it's probably going to be more than a couple hundred dollars.
and here's me, with a card that i never use...it's probably lapsed...
but then work has a copy machine i'm not supposed to use...
I can well understand your frustration about the library and have been in such a postion myself. I believe I left in a seething rage and grumbling under my breath like a mad woman about the kinds of ineffient effing bastards that such organisations ridiculously take in their employ these days, while staring into the mirror wondering wher it is written upon my face - "just say No".
Glad you foudn something positive and fun to regain your composure, I would have hit something.
The power or pretty underwear cannot be overstated. If the old library bitties were wearing pretty undies, you'd be reading and making copies to your heart's desire.
Librarian Bitches.
I felt sorry for you until I read the part about your boobs jiggling. Because then I felt jealous for about five minutes because even with a pretty push up bra, I don't have enough boobs to jiggle. Then I got over it & felt sorry for you again because I HAVE a library card and I guard it like it's the winning lottery ticket. I'm sure the people at Kinkos were much nicer than the librarian. If it makes you feel any better my small town librarians aren't very nice to me either. And they make puritanical judgemental looks about all the filthy books I read.....like I care.
When I lived JUST north of my home town, I was told it was 25$ a MONTH to own a library card, and you had to pay three months, and re-apply every three months.
When I moved BACK into town, with my kids, I asked what it took to get us all cards, and it again was a bigger hassle than spending 25$ a month ON books at the book store!
But it's such a small town library that new releases are already held back for all the regulars and it would take me a year to get one, anyhow.
Don't be too jealous - jiggly boobs are just a nice way of saying fat boobs.
"the work seems to consist primarily of dusting."
I'm still chuckling at that one.
Fancy panties can fix just about anything! It's that whole underworld mysteria!
viva la jiggle
I tried to Google a resource link for you to see if Ontario has Id cars like we do here in the U.S. but all I found was a video of cat named "Shadow" that likes to scare the mailman/person away.
Do you have any junk mail with your name on it? Or have your mother write you. If the post office is willing to deliver it to you, it should be legal enough. I was at the library just last week myself.
-P
I'm surprised you don't have some type of ID, it's required here in the US.
Are you sure the public library system is not a front for Canada's spy agency with that type of exclusivity? While I wouldn't wear ladies unmentionables, I gotta find something that makes the world as bright and sunny as what you were wearing...
perhaps that make that happy feeling in a man's hat or something.
I just moved in 6 days ago, and I haven't spoken to my mother in years.
Wow! What a load of crap to get a friggin' library card! I've had mine for 20 years (since I moved to Toronto) and I guess I've taken it for granted. From this day forth, I will treasure it forever!!!
I would have definately appreciated you in that lingerie.
Stupid public library. That's the first I've ever heard about you needing a card just to get the copier to work.
Wow. And you can't even blame the Patriot Act or Homeland Security for this. Bummer.
Garshk. What a pain in the rump (nicely pantied as it may be).
It's nice to see a woman come out and admit that she enjoys giving folks a show when she wears certain clothes. Blitz Krieg sure got in trouble for risking a peek recently.
wow, I can't imagine they won't even let you photocopy--at such a high price even if it's Canadian--but glad the day turned out okay anyway. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
The Goat goes Victoria's Secret
I wanted to leave the comment # at 69 but can't refuse not to comment.
"s I walked along, my boobs jiggled enormously in an unsupportive barely-there bra that is totally impractical and well-loved for that reason exactly...."
We need to see a video. :D
I see that you and I share the same troubles. This is morbidly comforting.
Long live fancy panties!!
As far as the library card, or lack there of, that really sucks. What if someone wrote a letter to you...would that suffice as part of the ID requirements? Will they accept your health card as a form of id? Good luck and keep us posted.
Did more people return your smile this time?
I have to say, I really do love the goat in your comments section. Very cute and... goatish.
There's nothing like a change of underwear to brighten your day. Especially if its sexy underwear.
sorry honey, but you aren't supposed to use your health card as id, it's a privacy issue and the library shouldn't be asking for it. it's against the law. what about a copy of your lease? do you have a cell phone bill?
Still lurking...I laughed right out loud when I read this 'the whole damned universe is against me. I'm not even a member of the public anymore!'. I have felt that same way!
You made me smile...again.
Smiles to you.
here
I saw this today and thought of this post.
ugh.. i'm in beurocracy hell lately... i wouldnt even go to a library right now in case they asked me for anything! love the blog!
Maddening old ladies.
Send yourself an envelope in the mail. Once the stamp is canceled, it will prove that you live there.
Other than that, all that comes to mind is getting arrested (maybe stealing lingerie) so that you have a mug shot with your name and photo on it.
Hey! Back before I switched to - ugh, I'll fess up to it - myspace, I used to be a regular reader of your blog. I had a rare bit of free surf time today and I got to thinking about that funny canadian chick who likes to read books and bake cakes and blog incessantly. In an absolutely amazing feat of long term memory that I didn't think was possible considering my youthful penchant for illegal greenery, I remembered the url. But only because i knew it had something to do with booze. Glad to see you're still here, still blogging. If you ever come over to the dark side, look me up at http://www.myspace.com/dailyclatter
Isn't it amazing what fancy undies can do to one?? I have the same. Feel sexy, feel good. Add a few sun rays to that and the day is purrrrfect!
Is there something I could do to get you a library card? I know you sound like it was a lark, but knowing you, I'm worried. I don't want you to turn to a life of crime just so you can read when you've got the appropriate thong at hand. What does your council person say aout this?
I say, go get a passport and getcha arse over here asap *grin* you can then use my library card (I would say my personal library but it's 90% sci-fi and we know you don't go there *kiss* you can have the chicklit though..)
That whole two-ID thing just bites, kind of like the only decent jobs available are "Experienced Only".
Good luck!
The craziest application process for getting a library card I remember was across the pond in London. I recall having to get notes from my professors and signing my life away to get cards...and had to repeat the process a couple of times, as each borough still had its own system. This was 10 years ago...one can only imagine what it's like now!
ah, jay, our cracker-boxed sized, pee-smelling library would have you in a heartbeat.
Many years back I would pen amorous love notes on a book marker to the nice fem librarian, later she told me she had a desk drawer full of them from other admirers and I was not in contention.
Great post.
Maybe you could get a passport? That would work as a second form of ID...and then you can travel the world too, course money is always an issue, but hell, if I can do it, so can you
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