Talk to the Goat
Wow - when you go out - you guys really go out!
Hockey rules!
I have never stepped into a bar but have heard lots of stories of bar fights. I am not a drinker even social events. Not interested but like hearing about others that have been in fights like this one. Go Jay. I dont blame Jason for watching his mouth now. I would too if I were him. But its his fault partially for letting you practice on his arm. LOL.
[Peers about nervously... types gingerly and thinks very hard about what to say in case there is any offense potential therein...
tiptoes away v quietly...]
BTW, are you for hire at parties?
Your life is just way too exciting. Waterfall are only so thrilling, you know? 
Brilliant writing, as usual.
Unbelievable!! That is a pretty exciting evening and I'm so excited about you punching that guy back! LOL! Go you!
Will your next post be tips on punching? I could use some for the next time we go to a concert and I get jostled (I hate being jostled).
Great story 
I could hear the noise and smell the stale bear and sweat. You write so well Jay!
Did you get your purse clean?
My advice for concerts is:
no punching. that will get you ejected. instead, walk and stand with your elbows jutting out as sharply and firmly as you can. this will part the crowds as you try to get a closer spot, and keep a nice buffer of space around you at all times.
a fight? over a penguins game?? Though spilling grey goose is a party foul that should be reprimanded for sure
Wow. I had to double-check the post's date to be sure it wasn't an April Fool's Day joke.
That's some adventure. I'd say the one who had fire in the belly was you, not Jason.
And here I thought Canada wasn't as violent as America.
Yeah, that's what I always hear too, Mark. Canadians are all, you know. Civilized and stuff.
Anyway, here's my other question: hockey games have innings?
Oh.
My.
God.
You got into a bar fight in UNIONVILLE? That's beyond hilarious. My friend used to work in a bar on the main street called Jakes and she said things would escalate every now and again because the rougher crowd and the yuppie crowd tended to not mesh well.
I think we must live close to each other, Jay. Representin' the "905"!
Wow! That was some night. Bar fights are usually more entertaining when you don't get involved. A black eye looks totally tough though
That sounds like way more fun than I've ever had (and more fun than any red silk cami has ever had) at a sportsbar.
I'm so jealous.
(So is MY red silk cami.)
#1. Innings...I caught it..what kind of Canadian are you.
#2. Starfish should NOT be a color, that is gay.
#3. What a rockstar date your husband took you on, that is awesome!
I'm so glad you were able to get a punch in, asswhole...spilling your martini, that is NOT acceptable!!
So, grown men were crying over a game. Wow. I'm probably the only guy who doesn't get sports, or the living vicariously through guys whose biggest talent is throwing or catching a ball. And no, I'm not gay. A bunch of guys in tights pattin' each other on the ass and then showering together is just not my thing. Hockey's OK, but people who get emotionally wrapped up in it, like if their team wins it makes THEM better people, or they cry if their team loses.
What I love the most is when a city's team wins and then the fans go out and trash and burn the very city the team represents. Jay, you're next posting, "I COULDA' BEEN A CONTENDER!!!" : - )
"You're a face-painter."
"Yeah, you know, gotta support the team".
Woah -- intense night out!
You go girl!!
Mishy - I have indeed been to Jake's
I'm a 905 girl, at least for the next little while.
The cami and the bag are both at the cleaner's. No word yet on whether they'll be salvaged.
Best. Date. Night. Yet!!! Beats the hell outta Sushi class date night :D
*chants* Jamie Jamie...
Who's the girl with the iron fist?
Jamie Jamie!
Wow- you have THE best dates!
Geez - I haven't been in a good bar fight in whoa - 30 years?
Glad you can stick up for yourself.
Glad Jason knows enough to keep you from sticking up for yourself too much.
But damn, getting your martini dumped must have really hurt.
Thanks for making it all fun for us.
Thanks for stopping by my blog--I take it you're from Canada, but are visiting W PA (the Unionville south of Pittsburgh). I may have to blog aboutt he two times I came close to getting into bar fights, but were while I was in Grad School in Pittsburgh. Glad you got out okay and thanks for the idea for a future blog post.
Most Excellent Blog!
Nope, I was referring to the Unionville just north of Toronto, where I live. It likes to be called "historic" Unionville, strictly for snob effect.
The spilled martini was tragic, but seeing how it was either my third or my fourth, it wasn't quite as tragic as it could have been.
I like the teamwork you two have got going. One to work the thugs over and the other to keep the bruiser out of trouble.
It's so wrong to spill the goose! I'd have peeled the slobs ears off and made him lick my boots.
I think Sir BedHead, Mr. SissyPants, and Argyle Boy were in State College recently. That FratPack must really get around.
They definitely left the bar when it ran out of grenadine, so I did not have to worry about hitting them during the Penguins game.
Sir BedHead is my true enemy.
Interesting, while that was going on, I was wishing that my waiter would disappear and a waitress with cleavage would show up at our time, while my mom watched that exact same game.
Dang girl - I'm proud of ya!!
I'm so hiring you as a bodyguard when I become rich and famous. What do you charge?
hey uh, jason iced the knux , he did put meat on your eye, yes?
i just got up...
Holy Crap Jay! Unionville? Mind you, when I worked for GoTransit, some of the most exciting stuff happened on the Stouffville line.
I too caught that bit about "innings" *sigh* Silly person. Not that I mean to offend you or anything . . . you're not wearing any rings are you?
First of all, you'd be way to hot for any room you're in, not just a sports bar.
Damn, you know how to party. Remind me to get a seat with its back to the wall if I go out with you. I'd have to keep a close eye on the room.
History has taught us two things my sweet.
1) Somebody's face/head is harder than your fist.
2) Woman vs Man in fight. Knee to the balls. KNEE to the BALLS!
It’s a good thing I finished my coffee sister, or you’d be buying me a keyboard! That’s the funniest damn thing I’ve read in a long time.
Hockey has innings?
Never, but NEVER spill a (her) martini over a blond lady's new, red silk cami and say it's her fault! I hope he learned something from this.
You did great, little lady! Hope your hand is ok.
Any girl who can knuckle-punch gets my 4-minute standing ovation.
Bar fights... once the adrenaline kicks in it's kinda hard to stop hehehe...
what a story! crap like that just doesn't happen out here in nowhere-land.
is your purse ruined?? one less for the collection?
hockey rules my life, every single moment, not my choice mind you. thankfully it only has three "innings" whereas baseball has nine "periods" let's not even get started on that overttime crap.
C-sections are quiet?
That's effin' awesome! Mind if I live vicariously thru you? 'Cause your life is a lot more exciting than mine! You go, girl!
Damn, I haven't been in a fist fight with a man in YEARS! ROCK ON!
Good call on the punching! Usually I am not one for physical violence, but I truly feel that that dude had it coming. "Watch out, lady"? Honestly, that would have inspired me to kick him in the balls. I mean, how dare your table be in the way of his fight.
I hope your black eye makes you look tough and gives you street cred. (whatever that means).
Good grief, remind me never to go to a bar in UNIONVILLE!
My God - your date nights just keep getting better and better. Your story had me choking on my lunch - thanks for the laugh!
I start an ice hockey team of bloggers, you're on my team. Whenever someone comes commenting like an ass, I'll stroll down the bench, give Jay a tap on the shoulder and send my enforcer out on the ice.
OMG, the names you gave those guys really got me...I think I've seen those guys in our local;-P
Way to go, blondie!! A great shot for all us short blonds!!
Hope your eye and knuckles are OK, though:-(
I love a woman who can kick ass. Although Jason should be ashamed of himself. Sissy boy. Hiding behind the wings like that. Pfft.
::sigh:: ah... true love.
Best stories ever. Hands down.
This part was my favorite (besides you actually punching that guy!)
"he swung only the fist of his left hand, and he swung it over and over, not particularly at any people, while using his right hand to possessively hold onto his junk."
I can picture it oh so clearly and I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.
Hope your knuckles feel better soon.
Good grief!
Remind me to bring you along the next time I have to have dinner with my in-laws!
I LOVE IT!! You GO. Sure would have loved to see a video of one-handed fighter dude protecting his package though...LOL.
This was hysterical!
egad!!!
please tell me you didn't tuck your thumb.
next time hit him with the pitcher of beer. you wont get to drink it anyway and it woun't bruse your nuckles.
You GO girl!! Jason should be PROUD!
That's awesome!! If I were ever in a brawl, I'd want you on my side!!
No, I totally know where the thumb goes!
J,
I read this post a couple of times and was struck by how generous with its sauces that bar is. Little wonder it's so popular. A hairy man fell into my dinner once, he was drunk too. Not sure what lesson there was to learn from the experience, though it did confirm my general impression that men with bushy facial hair are hiding something. Like, er, the gap where their personality would normally reside. And another thing, whilst I'm on the subject of beards, I suspect they suffer from weak chins. Why else cover it up? Shame your chap didn't suffer from a glass jaw.
ps,
Is fighting in bars a normal occurance in your household, or is it just a Canadian thing?
No, no, we usually manage to keep our fists to ourselves when we go out.
Wow. You are like, the perfect person to babysit our three boys. Are you busy Friday?
(hehehe)
"Mama said, 'Knock you OUT!'"
LMAO the poor guy is doomed.
Now THAT was a great story! See, neighborhood bars and sports bars for that matter provide their own unique entertainment!
My God,
That is one helluva story. I do not even know where to begin. I guess I will just end. Please, do, tell this story again. It is too damned good. I gotta hear it one more time. Hey, does the purse stink now?
Wow! I always knew you were tough but had no idea just HOW tough
Rock on, Jamie!
Now I have one more reason to hate hockey!!
In our area hockey isn't a sport, it's a religion. 
Wow I don't know what kind of bar you go to Jay but sound like an entertaining bar.
I had a pretty good laugh reading about the guy holding on his junks.
I like hockey and all, but get depressed and cry b/c your hockey team is losing? Come on, grow up. There's better stuff to do and other stuff to get depressed on than one silly hockey game...
Oh btw, it's period not inning. Inning is for baseball. But I won't judge you on that.
Seriously? I went back up to see if I missed the sentence that said this was just a story.
Wow.
I love hockey just for the fights, but I would go to a bar that you were going to fight at anyday over a hockey game. That kicks ass. I was laughing my butt off.
Lesson to sport's bar yahoos: Don't mess with a woman's martini!
Did you really end up with a black eye? Ouch! At least you got a good one in!
I fucking love this post.
I love that you would have stayed fighting, I love that you were surprised to find yourself out on a date, and I especially love that you threw a punch and basically na-na-na-na-naed on your way out.
You are awesome. In much the same way a delicate exotic flower can surprise you in having both medicinally soothing, and toxic properties, depending on the application, is awesome.
Oh my god! I thought I was going to pee my pants reading that!
Next time I go out, I want you to watch my back!
whoa...!
but what does that dude expect after he tells YOU to watch it.
he had it coming.
OMG! So first I was laughing my ass off (Fucktards vs. Douchebags!) and then exclaiming in shock, and then cheering for you, and MuNKi wanted to know what the hell was going on, but I told him to read it himself, cuz there's no way I can do this justice.
Go Jay!
good on you! Also, good on your guy for hauling your ass out of there....
I must have a red silk cami. Also, "someone" must defend my honor or risk not getting laid for a bit.
Your life is never boring, is it
It's not a cool black eye, more like a bruised eye. Kind of disappointing, really.
good fight eh?
jason should have let you continue...
one punch wasnt enough
Good on you, Canadian Girl! You showed him right quick what happens when you mess with the wrong woman.
What? You were in a sports bar on Saturday night and weren't watching the Gators kick UCLA's ass? You Canadians are so weird with your ice and sticks and such. And I thought the fights were supposed to be a part of the hocky game, not the watching of such...
Good for you Jay! i wonder if I'd react as well in that kind of situation....? i'd make a habit of wearing that lucky ring if I were you.
Nice new look too.
Aww, what a sweet, sweet Saturday night.
LMAO Way to go girl. I've got our littl'un to swing a good right hook too and she even spulls her WAR FACE with it >:| Hehe
You sure kicked ass honey, hope you're ok and not too bruised and swollen. Looks like the boy is gonna watch his actions from now on if you can punch like that. lol
Shit. Sucks about the black eye, but way to stand up for yourself against fuck-faces like MountainMan!
I don't think I've ever punched someone, but I can imagine that it feels pretty good when needed.
I ususally enjoy a hockey game with the fights on the screen, not take part in one!!!!
Damn girl!
That is so awesome...I wish I could've seen you rock that dude's face with your fist of fury.
Now I understand hockey better.
I have this incredible craving for chicken wings .....argh!
What, no video? Dang, you get to have all the fun.................
wow, that sounds way rougher than our dojo.
5th line of dojo kun:
refrain from violent behavior.
What!!! I'm out sick for a couple days and come back here and found out you got into a bar brawl. YAH!! I love it!
Exotic flower or common thug? Common thug is certainly better. Exotic flowers don't live long lives in this climate.
Glad you clobbered the guy...he deserved it...next time tell HIM to WATCH OUT, LADY!
I don't have any idea about that game of yours, my Lady... but I know how to say superb, when I see one.
jay, would you teach me how to write that way ?
That was superb writing, not forgetting to mention about the superb punch and the end.
Are you some kind of Lady jacky chan ???
Ha ha ha ha ha.... Best thing I've read in months!
Hope your fist is ok again.
Absolutely brilliant! I loved this post! Man, what I wouldn't have done to be a fly on the wall. I definitely would want you at my side if there was a bar fight. You go girl!
I love it when we have bigger balls than the guys! And I think I may love Jason, too. Well, just a little. Or perhaps a clone of him. You did explain to him that you were defending his and his wings' honor, right?
I don't think I knew anyone who had been in a real life bar fight.....Till now.
I don't normally advocate violence, but that was one punch that I wish that I had been witness to! That was classic.
Good for you! The stupid sports lovin potato skin wearing low down useless shite deserved it.
Stap on the skates, you are ready!
WHOA 105 comments!! Wow! You wont; have time to read my stupid comment!
Now that IS a date!
Cxx
Happy Easter!
Oh. My. God. What a night! But it felt good didn't it? Wishing your knuckles a speedy recovery.
you are good at story telling and I know that it is partly story telling that helps paint a picture of an exciting night but wow--- your life seems interesting!
I missed you this morning in morning rounds. Happy Easter to you and Jason.
Hmmm, sounds like a great night, I'm glad he carried you out when he did though ... they didn't read like gentlefolk.
Gosh, I want to hang with you and your friends!
Happy Easter and/or Passover and/or whatever, Jay!
I just added you to my links. I hope that's okay. I love this place.
Those potato skins pack a mighty punch, don't they?
Ah, good times. Good times.
oooooh. very entertaining post. you rock! wow. the last time i was near a punch was when a very upset little kid punched me in the face, in the nose actually. it started bleeding but wasn't broken. i did not punch back. i think i was more shocked than mad at the time. that was years ago. at this point i get my kicks watching the violence on the sopranos although i do remember the first time i went to a hockey game was back when they fought more and i quite enjoyed the fighting part, much to my surprise...
WOW!!!! I don't know what's more amazing... the real life bar fight, you punching the guy out, or 117 comments on your post!
You are a brave, brave woman... and now I'm craving a Grey Goose (dirty) martini.
Lmao awesome!! That was so awesome. =) I need to learn some of those moves myself. I'm impressed!! ^^
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There should be a rule which requires women to look hot when attending sports bars!
You are awesome!! You are my hero. I want to punch a stupid guy in the face. I can't believe that happened! I have never read something so funny. Good job!
you punched more than his parrot :>) bar brawls eh, who'd have em
You were in a bar fight! OMG that ROCKS! Wow. I've never even seen one, much less got to plant a punch on some drunk ass. And you know, even if I did get the chance, Nick would jump in and defend my honor before I could blink!
i know this is late, but i think your bacon wrap might be your best blog ever.
x
loved a good punch up, once a p a time.
I now duel with words.
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