Talk to the Goat
No strange man has ever bought me a margarita, unless you count the margaritas I've bought for myself.
Wispy is so wrong. You can either grow one - or you cant. If you cant - you shave. period.
Totally understand that one - Prada suit be damned 
Ah yes, unmarried. I've been that way for 3 years now, and I'm still not really used to it (I was married for 12) Of course I went straight into a relationship, kind of...
Good luck with all that stuff. If I split with my partner I think I'd find it easier to become a kayaking nun.
having to shave to have sex? damn....
i've been married for so long i forgot that that was part of being single.
Thanks for popping into my blog!
Sorry to hear about your divorce... although it seems it was something you wanted, it is always hard.
And... who calls their father because they want Wendy's in the middle of the night when they're old enough to have sex?
marriage is on par with buying a lottery ticket. chances are about the same of winning and you can buy both on the internet
Jay, glad you're having fun. You certainly deserve it. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that nor am I alone in hoping you're being careful. A little discriminating. I don't want to read here about how you were abused by some asshole. The whispy hair dude--why not have a shaving swap. You shave him and he shaves you. He deserves another look unless you prefer total bad boys. A phenomenon I'll never understand.
He's lucky if I ever shave again.
heheheheeeeee ....
(kidding, btw ... but it sure isn't as smooth as it used to be)
xoxoxox
OH MAN, I must have a million bad habits after 30 years of marriage!
Have a good time and heal yourself kiddo! I would NEVER marry again, myself. Love 'em and leave 'em, YES...marry them, NEVER!
I'm glad that your comfortable with nudity, I on the other hand get mad when i forget to bring a towel into the bathroom to dry myself off after a shower and I live alone. So alone....
Oh true me, Men like Nude women. I read that somewhere
Shaving--ha! Recently I discovered that my leg hair was like a half inch long and had to apologize to my husband. Is it sad that he really hadn't even noticed anyway? And let's not even talk about what happens to your nether regions when you have a big preggo belly and can't see down there to shave anymore...
You're brave and fun and I dig it! I hope when I eventually return to the big Tee Oh you'll let me buy you a drink...and you can put your lipstick in my bag and I won't forget to give it back to you at the end of the night.
This may not be what you want to hear, but I still want to express my sorrow. Whenever a relationship that a person has invested so much of time and energy in it is a tragic thing and I am so very sorry for both of you. I send you love and hugs.
Sounds tough really. I have to say I dont know what I would do by myself after almost 12 years with Jeff. We have had our problems in the last couple of weeks and he has threatened to leave. Just one day at a time and hope things are going well.
Hey Jay, sounds like you're having an interesting time being unmarried. I'm not married but have lived with my partner for about 4 years so the whole shaving thing has started to get a bit neglected lol!
Hope you're getting all the happiness you deserve. x
Last night I took my fiancee out for drinks at a fancy beachside hotel bar that I've heard over and over again about how awesome it is to hang out there all night. Then I realized I had heard that from a woman I knew who loved going there solo and having guys hit on her and buy her $20 martinis.
A very interesting read. I LOLed about the nudity part. Good luck with everything Jay.
We teachers are NOT sexless...but that was a hilarious story. I can't wait to hear more of these stories, the blog has gotten that much more interesting.
Who knew there was so much to being single again? Certainly not I for the last 25 years. Where the hell have I been? Oh wait, in bed with the same woman.
Never mind, I have absolutely no perspective on this.
I'm assuming the shaving happens waaaayyy beforehand?
Oh, baby. Watch out for yourself and don't get hurt.
You gotta admit, it's fun to have varieties.
Okay, lemme just say, I'd take one for the team and let you bend over nude in front of me looking for the elusive ... I'm sorry, you're naked ... I don't give a shit what you're looking for. Love you babe.
TG
PS. Leave the cash at home and I'll carry your lipstick for you, okay? Just don't forget the naked part.
tg
You are funny.
You are sexy.
You are strong.
-------------
Getting undressed is a kind of art. Be conscious about your underwear, that has to be used right.
It sounds like you are attacking the single life with a vengence! Take care of yourself you know how I worry!
bartender, dos mas
besides HS, the unmarried part before this new marriage may have been the best time in my life. So much to look forward too.
except teachers.
I'm glad you're having a blast!!
I have a friend who is a teacher and has gotten laid more times in the last four days than I have in the last four years.
i hope you're actually doing as well as you write you are, can't be easy. i've been married so long, i don't know if i'd be able to pick up the pieces and start again.
Don't know whether to offer you condolences or congratulations..
Your post bought back memories of singlehood -
I think they should make getting married harder and getting divorced easier - - -
Facebook drives me nuts too - seems like I'm always having to download this poking thing or that aquarium thing - or something
And like you I like to write deep ruminating thinking thoughts and facebook two liners don't get it....
I'm glad you're enjoying the single life again, Jay. I know what you're going through. I've been married (and divorced) twice. 
Getting un-married certainly a weird twisting path to traverse. My best wishes to you on your journey.
I really loved this post. you made my g'damn day!
shaving to have sex? aghh. I hope I don't have to go through that again. haha.
someone told me that the first 8 years are the hardest.
Nice perspective! I got divorced eleven years ago after ten years. It was exhilerating to be free! I got married five years ago. It took a long while to get used to it.
excellent post.
I agree--can't you just have a little talk with the firefighter about the wispiness? He sounds pretty good otherwise.
Not that I'm saying you need to jump into another relationship or anything.
That's why it's so inexpensive to be married. All the razor blades and shave gel we have to buy when single again! Been there.
Love ya hon.
Well, after reading this it's difficult to know whether to say "sorry it didn't work out" or "hurray for freedom".
So I'll say both and you can take your pick, depending on your mood.
How do you get men to have sex with you?
Hey darl - hope my comment goes through cause I am having hells trouble in getting anything to happen!
I am glad you are having a good time - just remember it is so hugely important that YOU respect yourself and your choices and you wake up with someone you love every morning. And I am not talking about a doggarned man, know what I mean?
he he - I managed to find the sex stuff without the whole shave thing - but I will wait until I patent the theory LOL.
Charlene - look like you think you are beautiful, look like you might say yes, and sparkly underwear.
I don't know about Jay's formula, but believing you are beautiful and could pull any man increases the odds considerably...
Learning to dance with a purse. Yeah, it doesn't get any worse than that.
Why do grown children still call Dad to get them midnight Wendy's? That is so not healthy. They must know he's with a young hottie, and they're protecting Mom, who sleeps with a hot water bottle and uses a walker.
Oh man, that Prada guy was IT until the wispy facial hair. ^_^
Not carrying cash is just so very Breakfast at Tiffany's. You need to figure out how to get $50 for the powder room.
sorry to hear about the wispy moustaches and spanking-bottom teachers. but these are valuable lessons! thanks for sharing them! I will remember to ask the next guy I spank what they do for a living and keep my facial hair full.
I'm keeping this post ... in the even that I ever get divorced ... thank you for sharing some of these invaluable tidbits of information!
Shall we roar through the blogsphere together? Check my latest post... you'll understand
I'm learning so much dangerous stuff from you.
Like: It's so easy...yet so hard...but you DO go on.
This was abslolutely hilarious. I adore your blog. Take a look at mine?
I don't miss kicking half-naked men out of my bed.
I'd be devastated if my marriage didn't work out and I had to start all over again. I often think bravery comes in the form of doing what you have to do to get through in life.
I hope you have a nice supply of condoms and friends. My email is on my profile if you ever feel the need to type incoherently to a non-judgy person.
Take Care,
Proxy
While I acknowledge the attractiveness of a blowout period following your divorce I think perhaps you might consider instead a rest period. After any long and significant relationship ends you need a healing period. Even if the change is positive a time for reflection and rebuilding is helpful
Sorry to hear about your divorce. 8 years is a long time. I am a romantic and I hope that you and ex may be reconciled one day. But it is clear you have many friends to support you but you need to remember to be your own friend too.
I notice you are in Ottawa now. Some find it boring but I was there for three years and I loved it. Of course, some find me boring too, oh well.
WOW i just had a heart attack! I haven't checked in a few weeks and this is what happened?? Man, it's crazy! I'm also sad. I am sorry this happened. But things happen and I'm glad you are sounding okay!
Good luck re-finding yourself.
At least the toilet seat issue is mute again.
The hardest thing is staying married, Married I mean. Looking back you wonder why anyone would sign up for something this hard.
Sorry to be all whiney here. It would be nice if things could be so easily solved by throwing stuff around, like rings.
Oh well, hang in there and I am glad you can learn and relate what you learn so entertainingly.
You're a strong woman!
I'm glad to have visted this site by chance. I admire you.
Too freakin' hilarious Jay....
I mean, I've known some observant people, but you...you my dear, are the most observant.
I'm not so sure there is anything wrong with changing clothes in front of the brand new men....
I mean, it's gonna happen after the meal and movie anyway, right??
KIDDING
I love that you can put your humor and thrill for adventure into this life challenge. I admire that. I'm sure it's tremendously painful as well.
I hope the adventure is fun and full of laughter. You deserve some fun.
I once didn't call a guy because he didn't blink both eyes at the same time. Like, one was a little slower than the other. *Shudder* Freaked me out. You deserve to be picky.
I don't know to what to say.
Congratulations?
Hey, can I watch you change? It's not that I'm a pervert or any... oh, wait, yes I am. My transition to singledom wa not quite as pleasant sounding as yours. Granted I did have men buying me drinks but that was just that one night I ended up in the wrong bar. OK, maybe two nights. Hey, the drinks were free...
I am totaly with you on the nudity thing. I havd, and still have, the habit of walking around in the buff. WARNING! This will cause people to fall inlove with you. Seriously. I soon as I would meet someone the next thing ya know I was walking around free as Willy, if ya know what I mean. Then the next thing I know is I'm hearing "I love you"s comming at me. OK, maybe it was that I was walking around with such bravado reciting poetry. Whatever, gotta be careful with those weapons darlin, and YOU got them. I know you may be feeling some hurt but consider the mindless horney bastards who are going to be puppy doggin' around after you. I know I would be.
Glad I'm married again.
peace.
I am totally turned off thanks to that teacher. Not that I was in the mood or anything. I mean, I am at work. But let's say I wasn't at work and I was in the mood, I wouldn't be now. Yuch.
prior to ever being married I still had issues with that changing thing. Working in the theater with mostly gay men, kills all sense of dressing decorum.
Yes, I imagine it would be weird to adjust, but I have a feeling you'll be great at it.
stop shaving!!
step away from the razor, wait 2-3 weeks and wax wax wax ...
peace & super smooth
wow, divorce.. I've been there a few times myself.... and being a guy, it's really hard when you have to start pretending to be a nice guy again... sheesh... hope this marriage I have sticks... if not I won't get married again.... I'll just find a woman I can't stand and buy her a house.......
good luck
dancing with a purse. oh my!
congratulations on your accepting this badge of courage. I hope you are enjoying yourself as much as you say you are.
you are free!!!!! lipstick, margaritas and sex. three of my favorite things.
I don't get it. More explanations required. More!
Vest said...
JAY: Our mutual friend SME left a glowing comment regarding your ten out of ten that I awarded you for your post on Face Book. to peruse this pearl of wisdom visit Vest on daily gaggle. post dated about 22-11. everyone have a wonderfully friendly day, Vest.
btw its a must see.
Came here after awhile
"that weird transitional phase where you actually have to shave to have sex"..
that caused a laugh riot at my table
Sounds like you have definitely been keeping busy and having some fun! Dancing with a purse is definitely one of the worst curses of being female!
I'm glad to hear you're surviving...
Wow. I've really missed a lot during my hiatus.
I'm really am so sorry to hear about the demise of your marriage. But, then again, you're making it actually sound more fun than marriage.
And, right about now, I would shave my legs every day for fun sex!
I swear, I think we might be long lost sisters.
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