Talk to the Goat
OH! That brought tears to my eyes. My husband's father is not expected to make it to the end of this week and we are....I can't even describe how we are over it. I never thought about how one with Down Syndrome deals with loss. I'm so sorry for you and Micheal's family. It is TRAJIC to lose someone you love, whether that person had 50 kids, 0 kids, was a hero or not.
My son has had to deal with the death of his grandma and grandpa and now another grandpa is on his way out. He is special needs and has trouble at times truly understanding death=never seeing them again.
I don't think one needs to be special needs to not get that concept. Forever is a word that is incomprehensible.
I'm glad Michael had people like you around him. Compassion is a gift that has no price tag on it. It's freely given and so very very dear.
So sad...
But what a beautiful tribute.
Ah, ya teared me up. Michael sounds like he was a wonderful and fun person, it makes me happy that you had the opportunity to meet him and become his friend. Just when I think I can't love you any more than I already do, you pull me a little closer 
I really don't like crying at work.
It is a beautiful thing to be loved and missed so purely as Michael is. The rest of us should be so lucky as to know or be such a soul.
i think what you said about the wizened souls was quite astute - and yes, often very fragile bodies to go with them. it's good to know that for all the shit people dealing with developmental disabilities go through, there are folk out there doing their best to support them. so big hugs for jamie, because even though going through that must have sucked (and likely still does) you respectfully supported the family through this hard time.
and thanks for writing about it.
Wow, that was powerful amiga. My kids lost an uncle about two years ago, they didn't know Uncle Tim well. But on the horizon is some family members that they do know very well and my wife and I will need to bake our own brownies so to speak.
Bless you guys, my condolences.
Awww J, I'm so sorry for your loss honey.
Death and dying I think is hard in any case and at any age. There's a book I used to use with children that I think works for any age group and any developmental group. Let me know if you want me to look it up.
But I also think what you did was great, of letting them talk about it and helping them understand what passing on means. I hope you find solace because I know how hard it is to lose someone who becomes a part of your family.
*hugs*
this is so moving Jay, i'm really sorry for your loss - all of you there.
like some of the previous posts, i have a very dear family member who is not doing well at all at the moment, and i am getting teary thinking about hugs ungiven & words unspoken. i'm sorry for your loss.
The first time I said this was more than ten years ago to someone who really didnt want to hear it, but I haven't found any better way of saying it really. I'm sorry.
No matter how many times one is faced with the loss of a loved one, it never lessens the pain. The questions. The regret.
I wish peace, for you, your lovely family and Michael, should he ever know.
Sometimes your posts remind me of being a child, with my head in my Mom's lap, with her whispering stories in my ear. Your post is so sad and yet so beautiful. I'm sorry you lost a friend. But I'm glad he had such a great family.
I'd say you and Michael were blessed to have each other in your lives. As too are the other residents in the group home.
Hey!
What can you say in situations like this, other than I'm really sorry you lost a 'friend' and 'brother'. It's never easy, and it's even harder to come to grips with a loss such as this.
All the best and take care...
I wish I had the words to tell you how that made me feel...
But it was beautifully put, emotionally wrenching, and...simply perfect.
I think you handled the situation very well with the others.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but remember how Michael filled a place in the world and made it just that much better when he was here.
what a beautiful tribute. it is sad that his death is not deemed as tragic to some, but to anyone who's life he touched, such as yours, it is. i think that's what makes this seem even worse, an innocent life gone. RIP Michael. my condolences to you and his extended family at this time.
there aren't many posts that can move me to tears, but this one did.
Beautiful and moving Jay. I don't usually cry in reaction to words about someone I don't know but your story about Michael brought tears to my eyes. You do amazing work and it sounds like you did great at helping his *family* deal with his passing. You make a difference in their lives.
I'm sorry about your friend. Sounds like a man that lived large in a lot of people's lives.
I'm sorry for your loss. That was a really nice piece you wrote about it though. Michael will be well remembered, obviously.
Another person on my blog-stalking list (yes, you're next to go on... you have an incredible style.) lost her father this past week. My fiancee, Fenchurch, lost one of her residents at the hospital this week. By comparison, my own problems seem rather trivial.
Thank you for the perspective, and thank you for stopping by.
that is so sad 
what a wonderfully happysad story. thanks for the words of wisdom.
may God bless you for all you do. You're a hero
What a beautiful post, Jay. I'm sorry for your loss.
People have a hard time understanding what drives people who work with tragedy in a non profit setting. There's a strange detachment at work, whether counseling someone through suicidal ideations, working with abuse victims, or trying to help someone else deal with the death of someone innocent dying do young.
We all find ways to cope.
For me, it was going to childrens' films and crying.
Good posting.
Such a sad story. And a beautifully written post. Probably even better than the brownies. And I love brownies!
My wife works at school with children just like Michael. This post will help her so much. Thanks, and sorry all of yours' loss.
Jay, your way with words continues to amaze me. This post touches so many emotions, paints such a vivid picture of your group and the way they relate to each other. Michael and the others are lucky to have someone like you who really cares instead of just being a caretaker.
Sorry about your loss but I bet you have a new guardian angel named Michael watching over you now
What a touching story of a very special young man. Here's hoping the grieving process is short.
Also wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog today.
Wow, that was a beautiful and touching post, Jay. My brother-in-law died recently and your attempts to explain death reminded me of something my 5 year old daughter said as we pulled up to the widow's house: "We're here to see if Uncle John is alive again." Thank God we were in the driveway already, because I pretty much fell apart at that.
I am absolutely at a loss for words. Vey sorry for your' loss.
With your wonderful tribute, Michael will be remembered by many new members of his "family." I feel blessed to have known him through you. Thank you for bringing him to us all.
Beautiful. Every soul truly makes a difference, and the ones I have known with Down Syndrome are among the sweetest people on earth.
I have often thought that maybe their life purpose is to teach the rest of us how to love unconditionally, and to enjoy the moments of our life completely.
And brownies always make everything better.
I got half way through reading and I had to stop because I started to cry. Next thing I see is someone from HR asking if I was alright.
IT people aren't suppose to cry.
Are you for real? 24-thousand odd profile views, and at least three blogs updated in the last couple of days ... man, you are one hard working barn-yard animal!
There's a bit to digest here, and I will start to do so over the next couple of days, but seriously, thank you for dropping by, and for expanding my rapidly diminishing blog universe with some meaningful substance.
Beautifully written. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm certain that Michael feels the hugs and goodbyes in his new world.
Such a moving post. I've got nothing else to say except that I'm sorry.
I miss Michael & I never met him. Thank you for bringing him into our lives too.
You make me want to make the effort to find some kind of volunteer work too.
It's 9:03am and I'm crying.
Thanks.
G.
I have to say its hard on one that doesnet understand it. I know down syndrome kids or people my age and there minds just dont work like ours in the concept of losing some one forever. Like you said that is a big word for them. I hope all is well and they are coping to the best they can.
HUGS to them and you even though I dont know them or you really. LOL... Keep up the good work with them. The brownies were a great idea to get there minds off what happened. Tweets.
Having just lost my father-in-law last week I have to confirm with you that brownies, chocolate cookies and bakes pasta all work equally...and sharing memories..and laughing, alot!
I'm so sorry about your loss. That was beautifully written. You really should submit that to a newsletter or magazine for families with disabled children.
God bless Michael. And you too Jay, for what you do. I'd bake you some brownies if you were here, hon. 
Beautifully written. I'm sorry for you loss.
That is so sad. I agree. He was special and I believe his death is tragic. He left behind so many of his friends who love him so dearly. That would define tragic. What a sweet guy.
You paid him an amazing tribute...
I don't know what to say but thanks for sharing your emotions...
Take good care of yourself Jay.
Nicolas
It's strange...but nothing ever truly prepares us for task of talking about death with sensitivity and grace. No death and dying course even comes close to providing the tools. Only death does. And most people are too busy living and too scared of dying to spend much time figuring out a way to comfort the dying...and to comfort the family of the dead.
Looks like you did a splendid job. I'm not sure anyone could have done it better. And with brownies!
What a beautiful post. You really touched people....just look at how many of the comments deal with people's losses. And you are a beautiful person for volunteering in a group home. I'm sorry about your loss.
xo
jw
I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a great person to know.
great story, I am sorry for the loss you feel, now I feel it too. Which might be a good thing because now others remember Michael. -shrug-
that's too sad. sorry to hear bout your loss.
As I had explained to me by a very wise 5 year-old, Dad, Grandma will always be alive as long as we have memories of her.
Paraphrased yes, but the wisdom and meaning was there.
This was truly an inspirational and emotional post. Thank you.
I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm happy you got to know each other.
Your tribute to Michael brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written and very touching.
I wrote about the death of a child yesterday. I have known a few people with Downs, and it seems they do contribute to those around them. In their special way, in a way I cannot contribute to those around me. A hole, that's a good way to say what one feels.
There is so much that is good, and sad, and touching and remarkable about this story that I am speechless. Well, as speechless as I ever get. Beautiful Jay, just puts life in perfect perspective.
My God, you're good---on so many levels.
Jay, thanks for writing that. Thanks for helping the others understand and cope with losing their friend.
My brother is autistic, and whenever I even begin to consider how I will feel when he is gone from my life, I totally lose it.
My brother's 'purpose', to me, has always seemed to be to remind me that people really are good and innocent, in their natural state, and that is something that I all too often forget as I migrate around the rest of society. It's something we need to remember, so that we don't lose it in ourselves.
Again, thanks for writing.
Jay,
What a lovely post - makes you reappraise your priorities. Michael may have left this earth but he obviously touched a lot of hearts while he was here.
Cheers
Zanna
First time here. That was a lovely tribute to your friend. I don't know what to say to pierce the numbness of otehrs dealing with the death of a loved one and I guess some of the awkwardness is that fresh grief is a bit foreign and overwhleming. We want the person to feel better, but respect their feelings too, there is a helplessness about grief, in knowing, this time, you just can't make it better, but you can be there to see them through, as you did with those friends at the residency and they for you.
Sometimes the strangest conversations arise at such times.
I loved that you ate the brownies in the van together - that was so lovely.
Great post Jay. It's always tough dealing with death, it's even more difficult when you have to explain what death means to someone.
We forget all too often that death is a part of life. It's death's very existence that makes our short lives so very important. Cram every last bit of love and life into every minute you can... as I know you do Jay
That was a wonderful story, and a very loving way to handle such a heartfelt issue.
DB
Thats' so sad. Touching and sincere post. Sympathies to everyone there who he touched.
What a beautiful post, Jay.
I have no words, Jay...tears, yes, words, not so much.
My sister is an LPN and she used to work in a group home for people who were severely mentally handicapped. I remember her "baby." Robert. He was in his 60s. She brought him to OUR family functions. He was sweet. And now he's gone. People like you (and for a while, my sister) are a true blessing to folks like RObert and Michael. A blessing for your love, your constancy in their lives, and for your compassion.
Sending you sympathy across the blogosphere for your loss.
There may be no kids of his own or no heroic deeds but it is no less tragic that he's gone.
Thanks for sharing Jamie.
i don't think it's easy for any of us to gain perspective on goodbye forever, but it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job of helping a group of people with the task.
i'm sorry. : (
Wow. Awesome story... my ((hugs)) to you for all you do for them.
Thank you Jay, another beautifully written, heart-rending post. Writings like these make my day, even if they are so saddening. Don't stop.
This broke my heart just a little and now I wish I had some brownie batter. (I never eat the brownies, just the batter.)
I've worked with many different types of differently abled people and peeps with Down Syndrome were, by far, my faves. Oh, such unconditional love and emotion...
My condolences to you and Michael's other friends. Although his life may have been short by some standards, it sounds like he lived large thanks to his friends and caregivers.
You have a very special gift for making special moments in your life come to be alive in words. Once again your writing has touched me deeply. Thanks
Fi
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