Talk to the Goat
Facebook can be a venue for new and existing friends to use as well. I agree to some degree with you ...I'm not so very nostalgic about the worst fricking time in my life (high school) and I never got to know the folks I went to College and University with (too busy being a single mom of two kids and keeping up with the workload).
Funnily enough, people have sought me out from that dreaded era of my life and I've chosen to just say NO! Facebook can be very addictive. It's not for all, that's for sure!
I've done the ducking behind the produce stand to avoid talking to someone from my past, too. I figure if we cared for one another so much, we wouldn't have lost touch in the first place. And I'd rather be spared the polite, yet annoying round of twenty questions that inevitably ends in an uncomfortable silence in which both parties suddenly realize just why we stopped talking in the first place.
It's so much easier to duck.
I see a close friend from high school whenever I put my car on the Ferry Boat and what do I do? I pull the paper over my face in order to avoid the awkward "chit chat" that would ensue. Why? because I feel if we REALLY wanted to talk, we never would have drifted apart. So I pretend to read and I'm sure she pretends not to see me.
Ducking seems more kind.
Trevor is really Wade Belak isn't it?
Wade loves Rutabaga.
I can't believe I just searched for nearly 5 minutes to find out how to spell Rutabaga...well cross that off the list of things to do before I die.
Yeah..you duck, and you wonder, "what if I had acted different back then" "what the fuck was I thinking?"..wonder who is's doing now...etc..finally: DAMN, I aged better than that!
But with that farmers tan I can understand not going up to him or letting him see you.
Never tried facebook, I have a stalker anyway, don't need to be out there.
Phew, I'm drained. Time for a nap.
When I have the misfortune to run into people I no longer speak too (which being on the other side of the country from where I grew up makes this a rarity) I pretend not to know them. If they persist I pretend that I see my husband/family/ax murderer waving me over and I really have to go.
No sense rehashing something I didn't care about the first time.
You should use my favorite line from the movie Charade to deal with people that want to get back into your life:
I'm afraid I already know a great many people. Until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.
Well wouldn't it have been more fun to really feel up those vegetables while making an orgasmic facial expression? You could've said-see this, you'll never have this dahling. I looove these vegetables whereas, I just used you for sex. But then, maybe you're plan is the more sane one.
I'm apparently nostalgic as I DO sit around at times and wonder what people from my past are doing (or perhaps it is a function of having moved a lot in life and such transiency made friendships and relationships very fluid or "dead" before they had run their course). Mostly I just wonder if I would still think my exes are hot.
Not that long ago I received a phone call from someone I knew ages ago. Ok, so it was 40 years ago since I saw her last. It was right after my birthday and just before hers. She had to do some serious tracking down to find me. We talked for an hour - BELEAVE me, that's a LONG time for me. Ending with the dubious 'we'll stay in touch'. Bottom line - ain't happening. If I haven't been in touch with your in 40 years....means I don't care to hear from you! I can wonder about people and how they are now, but that doesn't mean I want to chat them up.
i ran into an old bf years ago, with my oldest daughter, who was around 7 or 8 at that time, it was strange and awkward at first, i've bumped into him many times since then, and it's ok. my niece and oldest both have facebook and suggested i join as well, but i agree with you, i've kept in contact with the people that were important to me, so if anyone really wants to know what i've been up to, shouldn't that be done at a high school reunion? i don't really get what the attraction with facebook is and after reading what's been written about it in the paper lately, it has pretty much confirmed it's not for me.
My 10 yr high school reunion is coming up this summer and I've recently started getting back in touch with people...I'm on facebook now too! Yikes! But, I have fond (albeit embarassing) memories of high school so I suppose it's pretty interesting to reconnect with people from that time. Mostly b/c they've all changed, as have I (hopefully
I'd have to say, I'm exactly the same way. When I have drudged up the past, I usually end up regretting it. Horribly.
I reconnected with a few old friends from back in the day. We chatted, and then went our separate ways again, just faces in the 'friend' list. I like seeing them there, but I don't need to hear from them often, once every year or two is fine!
I agree that some people aren't meant to be friends forever. Even after reconnecting with people from high school on Myspace. I seem content just to know what they are up to. Not a whole lot of warm fuzzies.
Coincidence alert, Jay! I posted an extensive rant against myspace and facebook this afternoon, which I've decided to call spymaze and basefuck from now on.
I saw in the city a once "true love of mine". Thankfully early enough to change direction. Too much anger after all that time.
There is a time for sexy gymnastics, for profession, for family - who likes it.
Few human beings stay, they have a worth for one and vice versa, most don't.
I have to agree - what is the incessant need to "keep up". Some friends are meant to wash off to sea. Even some folks we hold dear, many times it is the memory that is most substantive.
I never started a Facebook account, but I did join in with Friendster and then My Space. I like the idea that people are out there trying to find me. It's fun to find others too. Especially those who aged poorly
Strength, endurance, and acrobatics. Yes yes, those were the days.
I set up a myspace account to look for people until I accepted the realization that people my age don't do myspace or facebook and damned few of them blog.
I need to have your attitude towards the past. It certainly seems to have it with me.
I'm a big believer in doing an annual social purge. It took me a while to realize that I don't have to like everyone in my life and if they're bad news? See ya.
I have had a few ex boyfriends that I've ducked from. Once, I saw an ex's vehicle in a parking lot, and did a complete 180. Picture the roadrunner from loonytoons, a trail of dust following me included.
I haven't felt terribly compelled to join Facebook for exactly the reasons you've laid out--if we graduated from high school together, and I haven't talked to you in 20 years, why am I suddenly going to have something to say now? That's not to say there aren't friends I miss--there are--but sometimes, it's just time to move on.
I'm not one to enjoy meeting people from my "past life". Once they are gone, they are gone and I move on. Yeah, there might be an exception...but not for guys.
I mean, come on...after the "Hello, how are you?" what else are you suppose to say..."So, sleep with anyone cool lately?" that's just too Samantha on Sex in the City.
I have to admit to loving Facebook---not for meeting friends but for trolling around and finding puzzling pictures of people I vaguely know. I realize this is creepy, voyeuristic and possibly shameful, but I do have time on my hands....
I've gotten in touch with a lot of old friends on FaceBook and it's been very nice. Some who found me, I had forgotten about. So far it's obvious which ones rather not hear from me and which ones are pleased. There are certainly several I hope I never hear from again but they could have hunted me down before Facebook and they haven't. We're all free to ignore what ever parts of the past we want. And I certainly do. But I like the surprises it brings too..
I'm glad that someone other than me feels this way. About not all friendships/relationships needing to be rekindled. I value my privacy and don't like people intruding. Now give me 56 cats, a shotgun and a rocking chair on a front porch and I'll be set.
I opened a Facebook account because I was told by a prospective employer there were jobs advertised on there.
Since then, a few old highschool accquaintainces have found me, and I after the initial 'hello, how are you' I have as much contact with them as I have for the last fifteen years--none.
In fact, I'm thinking of dropping off Facebook simply because I'm doing nothing there, and it's doing nothing for me.
Regarding comment 25, "creepy," "voyeuristic," and "shameful" are words I use a lot.
My high school class had a big reunion in September. We had all submitted bios to a class website, and I didn't really think that I had anything much in common with most of them anymore.
It was good then, but my present friends, both "real life" and virtual, are closer to me now. I didn't go and I didn't regret it.
I'm the same way. In all the years I've never attended a class reunion or felt the urge to hunt up old classmates. The closest I come it reading the arrest list in the paper. I know I'm getting older because once I recognized all the names and now I hardly see one I recognize. You know you're old when you've outgrown all the outlaws you once knew
Given that true intellectual and emotional compatability
Are at the very least difficult
If not impossible to come by
We could always opt for the more temporal gratification
Of sheer physical attraction
That wouldn't make you a shallow person
Would it?
(Lyle Lovett)
I gotta say, there's nothing like a fuckbuddy when you're young and stupid.
I have very few friends from way back when. Sure, alot of it has to do with moving across country, but basically, things happen, lives go in different directions. People change. I don't like the small talk either. It's largely because I really never know what to say. And like you, I really don't give much thought about folks I haven't seen nor talked to for years.
I guess I'm the total opposite. Within the last 2 years, I've had 4 friends from high school come back into my life (I hadn't spoken to them in about 7 or 8 years). It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. If not for them, I don't know that I would be here. They were my rock through a really rough time. One of them was actually an ex-boyfriend and now we're living together. I think there are some friends who always have a piece of your heart.
I would just leave the past alone really. I have a few friends that I reconnected with but even now we dont talk as much as we should as true friends.
I wish I could be like you and not be nostalgic. I have an almost unhealthy desire to see what people from my past are up to. I'm not sure why. Like you, I love my like & I'm proud of who I am and what I've done. But I just like seeing what others have done, too.
Oh, I totally understand the wanting to duck when you thought you saw your ex-...lover?
Not nostalgic at all, huh? I admit I can't relate to that.
I can relate, however, to the FaceBook thing. I have a MySpace account that I still use solely because folks from my high school or college find me there. I'll get a quick message saying, "Hey, I found you!" and I write back, "Yep! You did!"
Most of these have come from people I barely knew in high school, so I wonder what they expect me to do. Too funny.
I just got dragged into the Facebook thing this past Friday by Vics and since I got her into Twitter...well.
Yeah people who I haven't seen in a while are suddenly in my life again. I just got an invite to a wedding through Facebook.
Ah Facebook, the network for stalkers. I love it. Add me Nicole Rayos.
I'm only 20, and my lust flings have only been 1-2 years passed, but I understand the day at the market turning into a covert operation. I think I would have done the same thing, just to avoid the awkward conversation. Plus, depending on who the guy is, he might want to get some of that action again. Leave it in the past I say.
don't look back
keep your eyes on the road,
your hands upon the wheel.
Ha! My exboyfriend lives within minutes from us and its not uncommon for me to run into his mom, brother or SIL from time to time. But when I'm out in the "common" areas I find myself looking around for him. Not b/c I'm unhappily married & want to start a fling, no b/c I'm in SUCH a better place than I EVER was in the 5 years I was with him and I want to rub it in his FACE! I secretly pray I'll run into him while I've got my husband & kids with me. Call me petty, its true. lol
I joined facebook because nobody i went to school with signed up to go to our first highschool reunion. I found pretty much everyone on there and it's really interesting to see how much or how little people have changed.
I'm 47 and I have a myspace and it's been really good for me to meet new people. I have heard of facebook but I don't know what it is. I'll check with the kids and ask them. I think it would be fun to run into an old lover again, just to see if they have changed in anyway.
Meh.. I like it for many reasons - the main one being there are people on there I 'met' online before my last pc went kaput.. they've tracked me down and I now have email addresses again (the other reason I prefer web based mail these days)
But mainly, it's all about me *grin* sod everyone else..
*jumps up and down in the air screaming 'look at me look at me'
I have yet to bump into an ex when I'm dressed to the nines, in my skinny phase, my make up is perfect and I'm over achieving career wise. Until that happens I'll duck behind the counter, wall or whatever is big enough to hide me.
Ahh yes, I've had one of those. It's nice. There's hardly any laundry to do when you don't spend a whole lot of time being dressed. (smiling wickedly)
It was what it was. Dekimashita (It is done)
-P
I'm with you. Whenever I reconnect with an old friend I always remember why we weren't always friends. Some people don't make good friends. Maybe I'm not a good friend, but that's okay. I'm happy where I'm at too!
I agree with leaving the old boyfriends in the past. However, at times (usually after a cocktail or two) I forget why I left them in the past and do the dumb and dial. Yes. I, Blither, drunk dial my Ex's.
*Sigh*
I've even been known to jump on Classmates.com. The embarrassment haunts me.
Cheers to You Bella!
Oh ... oh. I can't leave a comment ...
Oh, now it takes. Ha!
The past is past. I wouldn't want to run into some of my old beaux. Ewww!
Re Facebook, for me it's a way to keep track of my friends rather than track down my past.
I love this, it brings back memories, and yes, small artificial talk sucks. Especially becuz we both know the other doesn't really care, it's just filling in an odd space.
I have a facebook, but I use it to keep in touch with the bro.
When the past catches up with you....RUN....
like there's no tomorrow!
Hockey player! I can see the attraction there, for sure. I have a weak spot of hockey players. But now that I think about it, it would have to be purely physical. I mean, what kind of conversation can you carry on with a guy who has 16+ closed-head injuries?
I am a very live-in-the-moment sort of person. Probably more than I should be. MuNKi remembers things that I have absolutely no recollection of whatsoever. Like trips we took or things we did - I'll just have like 2 or 3 freeze-frame memories in my head (at best) and he'll remember stuff that happened like he's watching it all on film. So I guess I'm not sentimental. Maybe I would be if I had a better memory.
Yeah, the people you don't stay in touch with - well, if it wasn't worth staying in touch in the first place, why bother, right?
Facebook! I never heard of it and suddenly 4 people I know are on it. Now you make 5. Well I had to sign up just so I could at least read posts from one of those friends, she quit blogging. 
lol
they call it the past for a reason...
sometimes the past needs to stay the past.
no need to chat with it all the time..
I don't know anything about Facebook but it is kinda fun, (and scary at the same time,) to look back on people in our life...
That's the only way to live through puberty.
I meant having mind-blowing sex with someone you don't really care for or see again.
One shouldn't assume that just because a person is in your past, he/she is automatically invited to join your present.
If that was Trevor, maybe he was doing the same thing you did. Bliss once again.
i wish i could apologize to a certain young college coed who i dated for almost 3 years.
I've had people ask me lately to join facebook, and I'm not going to. I'm with you - the past is past. I don't do class reunions either.
some how I am sure if you were just eff buddies, that their is some sort of no need for later small talk rule somewhere in the relationship handbook. Of course, I misplaced the handbook in college and have been winging it ever since.
He sounds like the quintessential idea of a Candian man.
I'm still not sure why I opened the account. Maybe there are a lot of people out there thinking about lost connections, old flames, and friends who have faded away, but I'm not one of them.
Amen!
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