Talk to the Goat
awww, the story of your dog is both funny and inspiring...
It must've been a sicko Easter. I spent the day with a sinus headache and hubby got a migraine. 
Maybe we'd feel better if we all ate some grass? 
I love Chinese food. I even bought a wok, and a cookbook ... now I just have to kick myself in the ass...
Loved the huge chunk-o-skin bit! I remember freaking out for a whole week after I learned that 90% of the dust you fight all the time is actually tiny bits of discarded human skin. I worked in a warehouse store at the time, so there was like an entire lacrosse team's worth of dust in that place at any given time, and I was always stirring it up.
Gods, makes me want to go Endust myself.
I don't like strawberries either. The seeds get stuck in your teeth. I love the sad Kermit too. And easter wasn't that great this year for me either. Hope you're feeling better.
They say that when dogs eat grass it is because they are missing something in their diet. But that's nowhere as bad as those dogs that eat their own poop! They aren't missing something in their diet... they are missing something on their cranial cavity! ~jb///
I am fascinated with dead skin but I never kept any. Not sure it would last the number of years since I last peeled anyway.
Woks are fine and dandy.
I will eat your berries.
My dog likes to graze too but he rarely vomits. I don't know what's wrong with him. He is 17.
Poor you. Poor Jason
That was a pretty cool cover.
My cat used to sit at the door all day during the summer. We lived in Minnesota, so for like two whole weeks he was dying to get outside. He would eat three blades of grass before we could catch him. Then, he would walk over to the rug (not the hardwoods, not the linoleum) and puke.
I told this same story at my eating disorders support group, and I think it really touched some of the girls there.
Back in the days of black film containers with gray tops, I used to save my toenail clippings in one. Not to keep the voodoo priestesses from controlling my feet (although that was a bonus), but rather with the idea that one day I would sprinkle the clippings over the pasta of a rival, and he would mistake them for parmesan cheese. I never found that rival, and, in retrospect, that mistake seems unlikely.
That Kermit video was wrong. Just wrong.
Woks are woktastic. I once peeled a piece of skin off my chest that was the size of a dinner plate. It has forever since been the first part of my body that peels whenever I get a tan.
I like to watch shit rot too. G/f used to eat dead skin. She`s in jail.
Dogs and grass, wtf ?
heh
peeps are best served stale
dogs are dummies, mine did the same thing, and I am an alcohol junkie too.
Claritin D heals all ales
I love my wok too... it's well seasoned and I'd never part with it. And yes, I know what you mean... if I could cook everything in my wok, I probably would. I've even boiled eggs in it, which was kinda dumb really.
I like strawberries, particularly in tarts... and chocolate-covered. :D
My cat likes to eat grass... the first thing he does when he gets out (which isn't often as he's an indoor cat) is sniff around... and eat catnip and grass (during summers).
I guess you really can't get much more random than this post. The skin thing made me gag a little, but the dog thing was inspiring.
Sucks to be sick on a holiday.
My friend had a boxer who used to eat grass, then always panicked later while doing number 2's. The dog would panic-whine and drag itself around the front lawn on its butt like a F18 landing on an aircraft carrier. It still went back to eating grass tho - never understood that 
See? Now this is a list I can get behind.
ptb, what an awful weekend, poor you.
Woxation is a good word, I might borrow that.
Not liking strawberries is ok. But raspberries.... raspberries are (one of) the food of the gods.
What are peeps?
I like reading your blog to Bruce. I think it helps him realize that I am normal. Or that you and I have some weird German Dopplegangeresque thing going on. Oh, not Doppleganger in our appearance, but in the other ways. He and I both appreciated the ode to bacon.
this was the worst easter i've had in years, but for none of the reasons you've had.
i think you're right, your dog was certainly onto something. maybe i need to start eating grass on a daily basis to get out of my funk.
hope you're feeling better cuz this brought a smile to my face
I loved the dog story, and you know, I think you're right. We could all learn something from them.
I LOOOOOVE berries...and so do my kids. I can't keep them in the house.
I don't have a wok but have the same fascination with my crockpot.
I'm so sorry you were sick. I hope you are feeling much better.
I'm all about the crockpot too. I usually sing its praises over in my recipe blog.
Peeps are usually yellow chick-shaped pieces of marshmallow...in my opinion, god awful, but Jason likes them for some reason.
peeling that burned skin is disgustingly satisfying, isn't it?
maybe the dog ate & barfed to purge himself daily of toxins. after all, there is no doggie detox.
sounds like you were your very own little hard-boiled egg on easter. i'm so sorry and i hope you're all better now!
Fruit salad in a wok makes perfect sense. Disliking strawberries though. How is that even possible?
Hope life, now that the festivities of risen bunnies has passed, is treating you better.
The dog's story was inspiring.
My one dog does the same thing. Not everyday though...and I've always suspected he does it because he's already having stomach problems and the grass just speeds things up.
And that Kermit thing is funny, I was watching it last week. Ah, the stuff you find online.
I read that dogs eat grass for a reason, something about making them throw up if they have ickies in their tummies to get rid of. I'm not so sure I'm buying that though.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear you were sick, I hope you're feeling better now Jay!
Do you not like strawberries at all or just not supermarket strawberries. Limey used to claim the same thing until he tried the ones in our yard. Now he's addicted to them.
I've been sick since friday before easter. Must be a thang.
If life hands you strawberries, make strawberry milkshakes: - )
I suppose it's possible that poor Patches was a bullemic.
that skin thing is nasty as hell. Now I don't want my coffee, lol.
Cook that skin and grassy dog vomit in the wok, you'll be cured of your wokation and probably start eating all the berries all the time.
If we hung out in "real life" I would most definitely love you for your unberriness because I am full of berriness myself. And....I'm having trouble seeing the connection between the grass and alcohol. Did the grass make your dog dance in public places with his hands above his head and a look screaming I am one sexy bitch? Not that I would know anything about that.
Sorry to hear you werent feeling well over Sunday. I know we were good to go thankfully. Otherwise the girls would never have been able to find there Baskets. Or eggs for that matter. No hard boiled eggs here. Just the plastic ones with candy in them. Hope you feel better now. Tweets.
Awwww no fun to be sick on Easter:-(
That optimism, gotta luv it!
Weird berry thing, but you're right, you'd be a hero around me cos I luv em so the more the better for me!
Ummmmm skin...grossssssss;-P
My heart goes out to you...as nothing, except maybe cheese, gives me more pleasure than this time of year when the good ol' JC turns huevos to chocolate. Sorry you missed out.
I love your outlook on being an unberry Hero. I feel the same way about Lima beans and Butter beans!
That sucks that you were sick. I hope you're feeling better!
I had a dog who would eat grass too ... which, like you said, would result in green slimy stuff. But thankfully she didn't eat grass every day. But I can dig what you're saying.
Having skin on your bulletin board is just nasty, Girl!! Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!
Sad Kermit rules! Who knew he'd hit such rock bottom!
OK, I may never be able to get the image of he skin out of my head.
Somehow, I'm happy that you don't like berries. I'll have my share from that pint.
It's really a bummer that you were sick all Easter. Hope you're feeling better.
PS: Loved the Sad Kermit video!
I'm fascinated with the thought of Jesus turning eggs into chocolate.
And Peeps...they're best when blown up in the microwave as a quick s'more fix.
I creep my husband out with my skin peeling fetish as well. I love getting a huge piece! I just can't bring myself to save it though.
I still shuddering at number 1. I'm going to start calling you Hannibal OK?
They say it's really healthy to wok a half hour every day...
Glad you're taking care of yourself.
Ack! A sad Kermy...jerking off & doing drugs...I'm appalled & I peed in my panties...lol...thanks for that...you are woktastic!
I was sick. Mom was sick and blamed me for getting her sick. Sis was sick. Friends are sick...
I think we're all just getting the bug out before the May two four.
By the way, I think something is wrong with my server (Kentucky had some sort of weather crisis) -- www.curiositykiller.com -- let me know if it's working! Mwah! Hope you're recovering speedily.
I loved the Sad Kermit vid. Of course, part of me was a little glad... I mean there's Miss Piggy throwing herself at him for decades and him 'declining' .... who's sorry now mr. jerkin' off, hopped up on the drugs, sad song singin' froggy, huh? WHO?
Sorry. I was feeling the 'sisterhood'.
I hope you're feeling better and thanks for a most entertaining list!
Wow, you just sound so.. hmmm... happy
Whoah! Love this post! Sad Kermit... what a concept!
Maybe you just haven't had the really good berries.
There aren't many other covers of covers (and I am something of a covers fanatic). I'd never heard the one you listed, and the only other one that I have been able to think of is Marilyn Manson covering Soft Cell's cover of Tainted Love. The original artist escapes me.
Aw, I'm sorry you were so damn ill at Easter. That completely sucks.
I love my crockpot the way you love your wok. Once I actually learn to use it properly (i.e. beyond stews) I'll love it even more.
I tried to make spring rolls tonight. Not good. Since you have an Asian cooking flair, any tips?
The way you described the process of making stir-fry was both very poetic and appetizing :D
What is it with dogs and eating stuff they're not suppose to? Do wild dogs eat grass?
This is how we're going to loose Brain from the family Guy. He ate some Chocolate from the trash.
liked the Jesus and choccy eggs bit
My sis and I used to have contests to see who could peel the biggest piece of skin off our dad's back whenever he got burnt.
I wonder if grass is the crack of the animal world. My cats would do that, too, if allowed out.
Sad Kermit rocks!
Kermit sucks...kill Kermit
You don't fool around when you get the flu! Just for the record, I'm sure your dog was a real sweety, but that wasn't optimism it was definately dumb dog. I know, I have one just like him.
Okay, the dead skin thing is really gross!!!
ruby doesn't bug me for smoking it so i don't bug her for eating it.
a peaceful co-existence.
Oh - so sorry you were sick for Easter - that was my year last year. This year I had the pink eye, sinus infection, ear infection combo instead of the puking. Glad you are feeling better. Kermie disturbed me, maybe the whole puppet jerking off thing might have done it.
I had allergies on Easter too and hubby was getting over food poisoning, so we watched
The Jerk and I cried.
I do not think your dog was dumb, he just enjoyed the grass so much he was willing to vomit for it. I think that is sweet. What a cutie.
Now, about that skin on the bulletin board, ummm, I am not so wild about that. Kinda makes me sick. Ick. If it were in a scrap book that would be one thing, but the bulletin board?
Oh geeez-us. Love this site!
The dog story? Hilarious but I can see where one would be inspired.
I mean really..."try and try again" keeps popping in my head.
Well, normally I would have scrapbooked the skin, but it's just so thin and papery I didn't think it would withstand staples and tape just seems wrong somehow, so pushpin on the board it is.
Good god, woman, dead skin! That is SO COOL! I never ripped a piece of skin so big i could PIN IT TO A BOARD!
That is my kind of dog. I love dogs. Mmm. And i am le very sick too. Bugger.
Why do I like hearing stuff like "I do that because that is polite and that is how my mom or parents raised me"
It is a fading reality in our world.
By the way, how is your face from the other night? Yikes-that story brings me back to days when that used to be me in the story. My wife (now) and I got into a few just like you did.
I had to work on Easter.
All Sunday long. In an office building that was totally deserted except for one other girl who inexplicably was in the restroom doing her makeup every single time I needed to use it. (wtf? is she homeless or something?)
I thought I had it pretty bad, having to miss all the Easter parties and everything. Then I read your tale.
At least I wasn't puking. Poor Jay!
wow, that utube frog link was something else.
The face is healing nicely. It was a great monster bruise to begin with, but now it's just an attractive shade of yellow.
However, my allergies are back with a vengeance. It sucketh.
OK, the skin on your board...ewwwwww
Sounds like you had a shitty Easter. So sorry. I hope you made up for it by eating a whole chocolate bunny.
Genius...pure genius
all i could think of during this post was the thought of you making a suit of skin to wear around the house.
or just maybe, i'm a major fan of silence of the lambs.
my terrier eats grass, too, and i never ever thought that the motive behind it was optimism. now i know not to confiscate the grass from her and eat it behind her back.
that sucks you were sick for easter honey. Hope you get back to that wok soon
Number one has to be my favourite, since I'm writing on cabinets of curiosities. Everybody should have one.
My dog is exactly the same. It's why they are man's best friend. We tend to feel a bit more uplifted when there's a pooch around.
Awww...you got sick too? Yeah, my little cousin got sick during Easter and then I contracted her cold and did the same thing as you. Thought it was nothing but allergies and then BAM! It hit me. My fever was so high, that if I were a radio, I'd be belting out either Heavy Rock or Mexican music, you know, depending what side of North America you live on.
P.S. Thanks for that, what will surely be a classic Youtube moment.
But strawberries are so good. That's true for pretty much all berries...
ROFL @ your dog.
Your Easter doesn't sound like a fun one.
The kermit thing.
Way way way cool!
And the sick at easter thing?
it's good for your diet, think of all that choccy you didn't stash on your hips
No strawberry daquiris? The sadness.
Skin thing, eew, some secrets should just be sat on and not shared.
Dogs eating grass, is natural and normal. 15+ years of prof. experience talking here. Debate is still on whether they use it to a) aid digestion, b.) just like the taste, or c.) are missing something in their overprocessed dog food. I think there is a bit of truth to all these.
Mark J mentioned a friends dog that was scooting on his butt excessively, it has nothing to do with eating grass, the dogs anal glands (sacs) need to be expressed, some dogs can not do this on their own accord.
Easter, I've never understood what Jesus and bunnies laying eggs had to do with eachother.
-P
Sorry you were sick and didn't get to see Jesus perform the miracle of the eggs and the chocolates.
Your description of the grass-eating dog is priceless. What kind of dog was he? At least you didn't have to mow the lawn much, or get a pony.
My mother used to always say "Dogs eat grass to cure their stomach ailments." 'Cause, you know, they are so smart and have their own innate dog homeopathy medicinal cures. Can you believe I fell for that shit until just now?? Wow. I've never heard of a dog that ate grass so religiously. I might have to direct Mom to this particular post.
I haven't been blogging. I am a bad blogger. Forgive me. I do so love our blog.
I misread, "I love the sound of SNAKE hitting the hot pan" and thought your were fryin' them up in your wok. Delicious.
I love this blog, by the way!
That's so weird. I have your skin on my bulletin board too.
OK, I'm late to the party here. Sure hope you're feeling better...& LOVE the dog thing - we do need to be more like them!!
I love the skin!
haha the skin cracks me up... that's so gross yet so relatable.. hey, i enjoy me some skin peelin' grossness every now and then too.
Yeah, I have a real love/hate relationship with strawberries myself. They smell so good, but I think I'd rather eat grass like your dog.
I sat here this morning read through this post and THEN read it allowed to my room full of relatives... laughing hysterically about the "lesson my dog never learned".
My life is much brighter today for that story.
Damn Freaking FUNNY!
Thanks.
ah yes, the easter illness thang. happened to me too. bastard.
Okay. The skin thing? Bleh. But the rest? The rest I could live with. Will you marry me, Jay? I mean, in a totally lesbian way, of course. You could still have your husband on the side.
Ouchy. Hope you're well again.
Yuck w/ the skin.
Yum w/ the berries.
Aruba update is slowly coming on the blog. Come be jealous. :0)
You know, Ed Gein liked to collect skin, too.
Maybe you can save enough to make a lamp.
I wish I loved my wok! Or anything that cooks things.... These days, not so much. No comment on the skin stuff....
This reminds me that I haven't used my wok in ages. Since Nick likes Chinese food so much, I think maybe I should!
Its been awhile -- well the peeling skin is part of renewing you LOL
Skin, on your bulletin board? I am having visons of "Goldmember". Didn't he lick his peeled skin before putting it in his safe keeping box? Did you do that too?
P.S - I just gave you a thinking blogger award, you can head over to my blog and see it
LOVED teh descriptions of your weekday thrill. Makes me want to own a wok
I have to say I remember one time I had this real bad sunburn but dont remember ever keeping any of my skin from it but I knew it was there when I went to mow my parents lawn one day. I had shorts on and the sunburn had died down on the outside but under the top layer of skin I still had water blisters and everytime I moved the popped and it felt just plain assed weird. Excuse the language. I think that was as close to a third degree sunburn. Never have done that since. I always wear sun screen now. But what sucks the most is my girls are only 3 and 6 and they both tan. And they are just as blonde as the pix under where it says Goat Author here on your post. They are that platome blonde. Real light. You would think they would be fair skinned but no way. I dont get it.
I've been known to peel and save pieces of my skin as well, but displaying it on a bulletin board never occured to me. Genius!
Commenting by HaloScan
