Talk to the Goat
You're right, that's a lot of people... weird...
How do you manage to attract so many crazies?!
Men are so annoying. This one grocery store we use to go to would be crawling with wierdo's hitting on me.
Happy Solstice, Goat!
You obviously give off too few 'feck orf' vibes..
If only I could stop finding your report of these encounters funny..
yeah, that's how it exactly is for me too. except instead of hitting on me, it's people saying, "are you ok? you like you're about to die."
similar, except instead of unwanted touching it's more of a soothing kind of matronly thing. i think one of the women in my office has white chest hair too.
people in TO are so friendly! I can't wait until September when I pop in for a few days
I too enjoy reading about your jaunts but some of the people you are meeting....?! Maybe you should carry pepper spray or mace. Seriously.
That's a lot strangeness. I know Canada is friendly but....
You are a freak magnet to be sure. Maybe it's the blonde hair.
i had a friend like this -- she attracted all the weirdos. even if we were in a group of three or four, the crazies would make a beeline for her. she'd also been caught in several really bad episodes resulting from such. she gave off a different vibe from the rest of us -- very open and friendly. too friendly -- to everyone. it was as if she didn't know how to be cautious, which is a very scary thought. we all worried for her, for what she didn't seem to worry about. sigh.
I can't decide if your neighbourhood is ten times stranger than mine, or if I am ten times less observant than you.
Or perhaps I blend right in with the crazies in my neighbourhood, and that's why I never notice them.
Wow O_o
That was a really annoying morning story for me XD Sorry about your walks being like that 
Try buying a Doberman and walking with him all the time :P
Jay: 3 words - Carry The Hammer!
You meet the best people Jay!! I tend to ignore the random crazies where possible- some old bloke wanted to put my little baby dog up his jumper the other day. Don't think so mate. x
I'm kind of jealous...okay that's a lie!
I agree with the idea of carrying 1)pepper spray or 2) walking a doberman or 3) a good strong claw hammer. Maybe a bit of all of the above?
Any/all of those would do the trick!
Too Funny!
What a bunch of creeps, except for maybe the ice-bath lady.
I'm pretty sure the leg-rubber lives with his mother. His favorite dinner is spaghetti and meatballs, which he eats in front of the television, which helps to drown out those thoughts of his complete inadequacy as a man. He would really enjoy ecstasy, but would never use it for fear of Mother's reaction.
Hope this helps (?).
You definitely do attract the attentions of the folks in your neighborhood...At least it makes for entertaining stories and there was one cute guy in the bunch!
I love the old people that almost adopted you.
Yes, Jason is right, you shouldn't walk at night..unless you are being careful and mindful of everything going on around you..I know you will do what you want, I worry though.
Umm today some man outside the DMV asked me for the time and then grazed my boob. And trust me, it wasn't an accident and we weren't in close quarters.
Sometimes people scare me.
I don't get out enough...I'm wondering if it's where you are, or is this everywhere?
I need to go check my ankles...
I wish I lived in your neighborhood! :P or... maybe not, on second thought? But I do beileve people give off 'vibes' that may seem more approachable or less. You probably give off a warm, happy vibe which is more approachable. It would probably happen wherever you go, but I think this sort of random occurences happen more often in the city, usually. Which would make more sense because there are more people.... I know when I went to college in the city, I definitely got more approaches than I do now, living in a town under 10,000. Also, I admire your bravery! The fact that you go out there and walk every day even when it might be considered 'weird' to some might not seem like a lot to you, but it is to me. I can't even run outside by myself for fear of the encounters I might get, or it being "weird". But I suppose running is a different story. I shall have to bring my dog along to protect me...
I totally expected you to say that this was a series of dreams you had at the end of this. I'm glad you're writing it all down. I hope it becomes material for a novel. Think what you could do with this stuff?
I bet you're thinking right now that that Tito fellow wasn't so bad after all.
BTW please don't spoil any Jay ankle fantasies I've been harboring.
What kind of crazy-ass neighbourhood do you live in?? I know us English are famed for being standoffish and cold toward strangers (maybe...well, i am) but your neighbourhood has totally gone the other way! Can no one walk alone with being accosted? Scary!
That's all the confirmation I need - June IS International Stalking Month. Damn, and I missed the parade.
Here's the plan. We'll isolate the hormone your giving off, mass produce it and sell it. We'll make MILLIONS !!!
I think I would give up on walking.
just be careful and cultivate a fuck off look.
i used to live in a city during my 20s. weirdos don't change.
Maybe this happens because you're one of the few younger women in your neighborhood? You seem to meet a lot of old ladies.
As long as you're living there it seems there'll be no lack of stories...
It's not just my neighbourhood - this is all over the city. It follows me!
...and then this one guy comes over from his blog, licks his keyboard up and down (like do blogger dudes really DO that in real life?) and he goes, "Ooooo, yeah. Daddy like. Daddy like a LAGHWT."...
After reading all that, I'm almost afraid of commenting here... how many days did it take you to collect these stories?
As far as I can figure, you have the Kavorka--a Latvian term for "lure of the animal."
Your best bet is to bathe in vinegar and wear 10 cloves of garlic around your neck in public.
It worked for Kramer on "Seinfeld."
Go to it, kiddo.
Godspeed.
Jesus Marimba that is a whole mess of weird people and the Blitzer doesn't even live there.
why oh why did no one ever stop me ever on the streets. This must just be a chick thing. Have you checked your back for invisible ink?
Don't worry, all the male attention will fizzle out and go away as you age. For some reason a mature woman doesn't draw the stalkers out like you young wipper snappers (she says as she hobbles awaylike a withered old crone)
Wow..that's really wierd. I don't know, maybe you should just by a treadmill and walk inside. I did king of like the ice lady though. She sounds like a sweetie.
Wow you have such great stories even just going out for a nightly walk like this. I love reading. Its cool to know so many men think you are cute though. Happy weekend and walking.
Women are always coming on to me me whenever I walk our pet miniature dachshund!! Yeah, that's the truth...hehe
O_o
I hope you're writing a book.
My head is spinning.
I love that lady at the end! 
Jay, I'd be checking the back of my shirts if I were you. Not even on my very bestest days did I ever get your kind of action. But then the 'don't screw with me' look in my face probably helped!
I swear, your life is like a continuation of the movie, "Magical Mystery Tour" with odd characters and strange storefronts.
Okay , for the record. I was NOT in Canada that day. I was NOT one of the perves Jay encountered.
Marsha forgets her "the workmen whistled at me" episode from the other day........
DAMN - I did forget about that...does that mean I still have 'IT'???
This is about a week's worth - but only the interesting ones. Men tend to repeat themselves a lot when they try to pick you up - they all share the same 3 lines.
You crack me up.
And, at times, you make me miss living downtown.
But seriously ... get some mace girlfriend. LOL.
It's been my experience that men always hit on you when you figure you're looking your worst. Apparently, it makes you more 'approachable'. Maybe you should slap on a shitload of makeup and a big bouffant hairdo? Nobody would bother you then! heheee
I so want to wander around your neighborhood!! Mine's much less...interesting.
You must have the kind of face that people feel comfortable approaching. Have you tried wearing sunglasses?
It's nice although sad to know I'm not the only one that has a lot of these experiences.
Old people like to stop me and tell me how pretty my hair is.
Last week I was yelled at as "a Nerd" by one car and 20 minutes called "Hey Love" by a guy who obviously had a six figure income. Perception is weird.
Take care of yourself!
-P
Sigh, I remember being young and trying out all the good lines on women. Well, I thought they were good, but the results didn't show.. Now all I can do is run to the end of my chain and bark.....
What in the world??? I'm chuckling, but jeeeez, Jay! You must just be magnetic. Keep that smile!
Pheromones. You need a sex-change.
Ya know? I REALLY like living in a small and quiet out of the way place like this (pop. ~800) yeah, we've got our nut-bars and cracker-heads too, but a much smaller percentage by capita.
Your life would make a great sit-com. Now that we no longer have Friends to watch, we could have Jay and her Entourage of Weirdo's and Perverts. Great Post!
I don't care how much cooler it is lady! You need to keep yourself safe! I agree with Jason keep those walks to the daylight!
*sorry, I'm a mother. I worry!*
Have you ever considered the fact that maybe you've got the hottest ankles in the northern hemisphere? Hugh? And classy. Don't forget classy. Yea, one hot ankled classy chick. Oh, and aperantly lonely. Must be written across your face or something. Yea, guys can always tell a desperatly lonely chick by the way she doesn't look at em or by the way she ignores them. Dead give away.
Ya know what? I'll bet if you start like jabbing people with like, say, an ice pick, eventually they'll start leaving you alone. Jason would problably like that idea. Then again, the dude in the park might like it also.
Hey, people ARE strange.
Did you ever consider to carry one of this spray-cans with you?
My best friend used to tell unwanted suitors that she was a lesbian with a giant strap-on and if they didn't leave her alone they were going to find out about it first hand.
She said it always worked but given the guys you seem to attract I'm not so sure!
I'd consider it an honor to be maced by you.
Try to walk creepy and carry a baseball bat. A large dog would help, too.
I know it isn't fair to curtail your own freedom by not walking around alone at night, but it is better than getting hurt.
Haha, you attract the weirdos. Don't worry too much. I seem to get more than my fair share of randoms too. But its evenly split between guys and girls, and rarely to get hit on.
Dear Jay,
If you ever find a repellent, let me know. Until then, good luck.
Sincerely,
Have you considered donning chain mail?
Honey you need a different city to live in. Either that, or you need to get butt uglee.
Please take good care of you!
You do seem to attract the odd ones when you walk.
Are you sure you don't live in New Jersey?
It sure as hell sounds like you do.
You can tell a lot about a woman by her ankles? LOL. I'll have to start hiding mine, then. Don't want all the secrets out 
That's an interesting neighbourhood you live in.
It's just you're so beautiful and don't know it and people dig that.
Looks like being a hottie has its disadvantages?
Wow, those are some majorly strange experiences you're having there, Jay!
Oh my. White chest hair? A pervert in a suit?
Is there anyway to just stop being hot for few minutes so a girl can walk in peace dammit?
Seems man with bike had a penchant for the raw you, without the condiments.
Fresh-sweaty- earthy, delicious au naturel.
Great post.
The last time I was approached by a strange man he yelled at me, "Ahhh! Finally! The only other person who picks up poop in this park! I thought I was the only one!" Was when I was "collecting" my dogs poo off the grass to throw it away. Obviously, it definitely was not a "I'm gonna tap that" or "pretty young thing come hither" - it was about me picking up dog poop. So, I don't know if these encounters you have with the male gender make you lucky or not? Apparently, I'm only about scoopin' the poop. But, then again, I wasn't unnerved by the guy as he was only appreciating my scooping skills. I mean, he even thanked me for them. It was nothing like your fellow creepsters.
On a totally unrelated note (well, not completely, cuz I'm sure he'd hit on you if he got the chance) you have me YouTubing all the Hawksley Workman I can find. Wow! Thanks for the heads up.
Just to let you know that you've been tagged. I wonder what you will come up with
i'd talk to you on the street too.
But not in a flirty way.
But, it's better than being not noticed, right?
Damn girl, what a vibe you must be sending out...doesn't hurt that you're a hottie...but a hottie with strong vibes...yeah...they gotta chat you up for sure.
Dude -- What the FUCK with all the perverts you run into? Do you wear assless chaps all the time?
i'm closing shop for a while.
hope to see you around latter.
do take care of yourself..
Utterly amazing!
The best was the last.
Sometimes the inanity of a situation is so great it just leaves you ineffable.
You are a magnet!!
I'm in awe of your writing skills. Every time I pop by, you draw me in and make me see exactly what you saw. If you're not publishing for money, you damn well should be.
Unless I'm with the crazed golden retriever who loves everyone, especially if they are talking to themselves and pushing a shopping cart, which trumps all...I tend to give off a distinct "fuck off" look. I don't mean to. It just is.
You know, I've never thought to threaten to yell "pervert" before but what a great plan! I'll have to share it with my little sister (she's only 21 so she gets hit on a lot more often than I do these days).
I like your last encounter with the old lady best. It was most endearing. Thanks.
Some day, I might confess and let you know which one of those guys was me.
Too weird. Ugh, I hate weirdos!
Man, there are some seriously desperate loser men in that city! In all my years around sailors I've never seen anything like you describe.
I will have to disagree with you on one point, though. You'd look hot no matter what you're wearing. It's simply a matter of degree. Sweating during a walk, hot. All dressed up to go out, smoking hot.
Must be tough to be such a babe.
I'm not sure if I should be impressed or depressed by the sheer volume of horny men out there...
I walk around town naked all day and even the cops won't pick me up.
When I'm re-incarnated I want to come back as a female.
They have the power.
girlsarepretty
White hair on the chest?
I prefer calling it what it is.
Tinsel.
You get around, Girl! I just put my head down and go ...
I have the same problem
just this morning a woman stoped me and said .
pot bellied, balding men with forhead scars, wearing a blackberry phone, a pager and a two day growth of beard dont disgust me as much as they once did.
You take what you can get.........
Interesting stories. I don't get that reaction as much as I used to, but hey. I am not too upset about that.
Guess its time to face the fact that you're a hottie that may need to be locked up for your own safety and the safety of the neighborhood!
some of my best memories began with attractive ankles.
are muslim women allowed to show their ankles in public?
you have quite an interesting group of "neighbors". mine aren't nearly as unusual, but i do find, if you smile and say even a few words, everyone here is happy to start a conversation. oh wait, you're not trying to start a conversation. i say keep on enjoying your walks, you're making somebody's day!
Hei, where are you? Jumped the van? Or R&R ' til ya drop?
Late arriving to this one.
It's still amazing (as in, really effed up) that some guys do these kinds of thing.
Now, I admit I quickly parked my car once on my college campus to run after a young lady who also went to that college. So, I guess I kind of did the whole, "Try to meet a girl when all she wants is to get from point A to point B" thing.
The fact that I was parking my car with another girl sitting beside me, after she had accompanied me to my hometown, just adds spice, right? In five seconds flat I said, "Thanks for going with me. See ya," and tore off on foot for the girl I had been wanting to meet for a couple months.
As far as problems go, yours definitely beats tuberculosis.
So you've got that going for you.
very rarely does anything like this happen to me out in the country, so my walks are my solitude. one day recently, 2 kids on bkes were riding by my house when i walked out, and the kept me company for the whole walk, sharing their little lives with me. i wanted to tell them to "share" with their mom 'cause i was not in the mood (having just escaped my own children for a momentary respite) but didn't have the heart.
you must have a face that says, "share with me!"
Yes, I get hit-on all the time, too! Ok, I don't. At least I can live vicariously through you getting hit-on.
G.
Girl, you live in Freakville. The scariest one to me was the guy who rubbed legs with you. *Shudder* You need to get a really big dog. Preferably a mean looking one.
oooh i second the dog! If you walk by yourself it always doesn't hurt to have a dog there to 'protect' you Annnnd he/she will be happy to get so much exercise with you. You seem to walk a loottt.
Hey girl...you OK? Just checking in...
On the note of weirdos, a guy from Halifax has just been charged because he told women he was studying reflexology and offered to give them a foot massage for free. At a certain point the women began to question his credentials (likely about the same time as he was rubbing their feet against his crotch), and he's since been charged.
G.
assless chaps ? 
What a collection of life experiences.
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