Talk to the Goat
Good luck with the one nut wonder. I am not sure what I would have said to that either...lol.
Thanks for the laugh.
Kate
I do have to say I'm glad I'm no longer in the dating pool.
Does one testicle mean you only have to be concerned with getting pregnant half the time?
What about calling him by his middle name?
Call him NJ. Short for New Jason, but ya know, just NJ.
You could always call him by his last name. That is, if he's worth calling.
(sounds like he is!)
xoxoxo
LOL! Arn't the ironies in life funny?! My first husband's name was Paul Mackner, my 3rd husband's name is Paul Maryniak. Both were 15 years older than me. One was a wife beater though. So for years, the name Paul was banished from my extended family's lips. Imagine their surprise when I brought home a new Paul! If at first you don't succeed....
Thanks for the giggles Jay. I'm fresh out of nicknames though, or I'd have picked one for the new and improved "Paul." 
3T
This delima I have no suggestions for you this time my friend. Yikes anyway. Hope you find something and soon.
Hmm, Jason makes me think of Friday the 13th movies...but that wouldn't be a very good association for a boyfriend. Especially one with a testicle missing...poor guy.
Jason ONE and Jason TWO! (referring to testes of course.) I know it was lame but I've only had one cup of coffee this morning.
You probably shouldn't watch any of the Friday the 13th movies either.
Noooo!!!!! What are the odds?
Can't he just be Jay like you?
I'd call him Nigel. Why? It's the first name that popped into my head. And I'm a big Spinal Tap fan.
So Nigel it is.
My brother has the same condition (and I heard about it from my mother, who heard about it from the doctor), oh and his name is Jasen. (My dad likes the "en" just to make it different.
You know, the more I think about it, every Jason I've ever known seems to have some issues.
Oh, and how about "UniJason"
BAWHAHahahaha!!!
Jay, that was great!!
I’d go with NJ, because it rhymes with BJ...
A guy I worked with had one removed due to cancer. We joking called him Wan Hung Lo.
If this new guy's problem was nut cancer, call him "Tumor." Nah, that's not much fun, either.
Ask him what his middle name is. Might work out just fine.
How about Juno? The J for Jason and the uno for having uno cojone?
I love Suzi's name. Juno. Love.
I have a Jason, but he has two testicles. Random enough for you?
Gawd you're a riot. About the missing testicular ornament: Where did it go ? Have you asked ? Maybe he donated it to his twin brother. How noble would that be. Which man would willingly part with a nut. He'd be a keeper, for sure, for such selflessness. Maybe he lost it in a chainsaw accident in which case he is most likely traumatized for life and will cry in his sleep. Maybe the Kali cartell squeezed it out of him with a vice because of nonpayment for certain snortables. (Oh that hurts just thinking about it). Maybe he had it frozen because he was afraid of losing it in a chainsaw acident or to the Kali cartell. And now it floats lonely in a large vat of liquid nitrogen. Wow.
I Call him Adolf, because he's the only other monorchid I know of.
He's not austrian I hope ...
too funny!
Hilarious!!!
My Dad only has one! He got the mumps from me when I was a child.
"Mumps, a viral infection, usually affects children. If an adult contracts mumps, the testes can become painful and swollen and may sometimes shrink and stop working (atrophy). "
He's now 72 and probably gets more booty than I do!
As for your friend's nick name........how about Phil?
As in phil (feel) this nut!LOL!!!!
Don't have a clue...
Maybe you should just yell your own name?
That trick always works - right? 
I'm still choking on my tea over "one-testicle-positive." Dear Sweet Jeebus With Both His Golden Nuts.
How about "Monad?" "Leftie?" Or is it a "Rightie?" I do like "Monorchid" as posited a few comments ago, that sounds sort of rain-foresty exotic but it'd be tough to holler During.
Monorchid. *stifling wild gales of giggles*
How about calling him "The Undescended?"
how about Lefty?
maybe, if he reads your blog what you call him won't be an issue. i dated a fellow who had one testicle removed because it was cancerous, he became extremely insecure about it, pretty much the same as a woman who loses a breast just not as visable. but i suppose humour is more important than sensitivity.
I could be wrong, but I'm thinking that if you're already to the fondling of the lonely testicle stage, asking about it might not be outta line. . .
Jasper. Jay. No wait, that's too confusing. Uniball. (tell him you love the pens - no I did say pens, not penis - though you could say you love that, too.) Um. Maybe call him by his middle name. Or Wally. (as in Wally the Wondernut)
I suppose not being having nuts could be a good sign. . .
ok, so the strik-out html doesn't work here, which makes that whole being/having comment even stupider than it was.
Yes, I know what happened to the other ball. It wasn't a chainsaw accident. It's not slowing him down any, and I can't think of any reason why I would care. He may only have one, but it's a good one.
Tom Green and Lance Armstrong are also one nut wonders - but I'm glad it was Hitler that came to mind
I can't really go with the middle name - he has 2, but they're both french, and I think that would make me giggle at inappropriate times.
Do what I do...figure out a name that has something to do with geographics or something for example- the guy from cali- Caliguy... The gorgeous one with the bad boy side? BBM- Bad Boy Model.
The one I met in Boston?- Luck of the Irish.
Most of these my friends come up with...If I like em, I go with em.
Does this help any? Give me something about him...i could probably come up with SOMETHING.
You could call him "Tilt."
Ah,..I think I see what the problem is. From your previous post: "(I'm) being way too comfortable with nudity. Like forgetting myself and changing clothes in front of men I haven't known very long. Not that they're complaining"
And now, "(I) still got off my bar stool in a practically-lady-like fashion (thank you jesus, I wasn't wearing a skirt)."
See? A guy's going to figure he's got a pretty sure bet for you to discover his (w)onetesticleness if you're only wearing panties on your date! Clothes, woman! Your bottom half is going to be chilly if you're not wearing them!
Maybe you could call him by his real name, but sport a fancy accent when you do it. He could be the Japanese "J'aaahhhh-sooooo!"
I was going to say Uno, but yeah, I like Juno.
I really wish you had a feed I could subscribe to since I suck at remembering to come over here.
sad times.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! The story was great, the comments are even better.
You could always call him "my bitch"?
>> I mean, his testicles still outnumber my testicles, but by a much slimmer margin than I am accustomed to.
I don't know where you come up with this stuff but I have to clean my damn monitor every time I get finished reading one of your posts cause I end up spitting out some of my drink.
Well, it really all depends if this is going to be a "thang" or just a friendly fuck.
Are there prizes involved for best moniker?
You're like the opposite version of The New Adventures of Old Christine.
I got nothing here. Sorry. I've found that the name-calling issue fades once you're at the 'darling' stage... I once had two blokes called Nick. Fortunately one of them was Russian, so he quickly became Kolya.
AAAAAHHHH!! Jason is my nemesis name as well (see the "Naval A-hole" tag on my blog for why). When I hear that name on a potential date, I cringe and horns immediately sprout on his head. I recommend getting a nickname fast before he and his one ball are spoiled forever. How about Ball Boy? tee hee
i know a few jasons who go by the name jay, but that's your name, so that still might be to confusing.
i kind of like scott's idea, "my bitch" has a nice ring to it.
You are hilarious, as always.
This reminds me of my freshman year of college, when my roommate started cheating on her boyfriend back home with a guy at school who had the same first AND last name as her boyfriend. You can imagine my confusion when having to take phone messages--I would have indicate which one had called on the dry-erase board on our door. So was it my fault that she didn't erase the message before the boyfriend came to visit? Apparently she thought so...
As for your new guy...I'd go with Lance over Adolf.
Call him Angleo..cause I know I guy that lost a ball to a fence with that name.
Oh how I love your honesty. My vote is for Uno.
Just call him "My God", it sounds great when you scream it.
I'd like to nominate "Jase". Easy to scream, birthed of Jason but not the same.
Let us call him Chuck.
In fact, let us call them ALL Chuck, regardless of their names.
My best friend's dad called ALL of her boyfriends Chuck (to their faces) until she met her husband and then her dad DID call him by his real first name.
But everyone starts out as Chuck until they do something (other than having only one nut) to distinguish themselves.
So - have fun with Chuck!
Well, at least it's a name that's easy to remember. Call him Jake. As opposed to Jack or Jock. That would be too testicular.
Don't get me wrong. I do understand what you're feeling... BUT... What's the worry? Imagine if his name was Mike and while having a great time, you go: "Ooooh Jasooooon!" (eight years of marriage may do that to you).
At least you won't have to worry about hurting his feelings and calling out the wrong name.
You could go the classic route and use Roman numerals in this case instead of II it would be I. "Oh I-Ball you are the bessssssssssssst!!" Cheers!!
If he is in the process of wooing you, I'd call him the luckiest man in the world...
Just call him Jas-one, then if he happens upon it can be explained away easily as an extra-e and in no way related to his anatomy
Eh, one nut isn't so bad. Maybe he'll be less of an asshole then. Funny how that works hm? The more balls a guy has, the bigger the asshole he is. I once knew a guy that claimed to have three balls. THREE! Like, Jesus Christ, where did he store the third one? I didn't ask. Anyway... The point is, he was the biggest asshole of all. Otherwise I would have asked, or better yet, looked.
Hey Jay. I found your blog after your comment on mine. This post is hilarious. Now if it's his left nut that's missing, call him Hitler. If it's his right nut sack missing, call him Napolean.
I personally have three.
Oooh. While the one ball thing was ok, the same name thing could be weird. I think I would have a hang up. Mostly because I associate very bad things with the names of my exes. Very very bad things.
One of my best friends only has one ball - he had testicular cancer, and had to get the one removed. When he went through chemo, he lost all his hair ... I called him Powder ... what are friends for?
Does his one ball make his scrotum seem enormous? Or does the scrotum cling to the Lone Ranger like a posessive lover?
That was so funny I am sure you made it all up.
Seriously though, just call the guy Jay. Oh wait, that's you huh? Don't they name people anything else up there?
Only the coolest people have one testicle.
If you're willing to have sex with the guy after only knowing him for three hours, you're likely able to ask him what happened to his nuts.
Jeez, I have absolutely no suggestions for you, but can relate. I seemed to attract Mikes. But they all had both their balls. Hmmm. Nope, I'm at a loss.
Good luck and have fun!
it's a shame you guys don't speak french, because, in french, you can come up with a lot of nickname for that guy.
See, Jay sounds like "j'ai" = i have
so you could have called him,
Jaykunetesticule = i only have one testicule
JesaisplusoujelairanJay = can't remember where i put it
jelaimanJay = i ate it
see!! Lots of stuff!!!
Anyway, Juno sounds good to me...
thanks for sharing...
Snagley: you do not. Have three. But regarding nut size: I always thought it is the size of the penis that determines a man's temper not the size of his balls. As in: the smaller the dick, the bigger the asshole. (Ouch, that didn't come out quite right and on the face of it appears counterintuitive.). And, of course, the smaller the dick the bigger the car. But to get back to the topic at hand, here's some info on nut implants.
http://www.brucegilbertmd.com/
se...CFTkjFQodFRwftg
oh yeah, my nickname at college was tri-nut.
oh and for the record i drive a moped.
LMAO @ snagley!
(Jay your comments are almost as entertaining and fun as your posts. ALMOST)
3T
Oy. Only you
Very funny post!!!
In the realm of the 'castrati' though, he would be king, despite his name.
Snagley, tri-nut, ha! I remain sceptical, besides the proof is in the pudding. So post a pic. But if true, doesn't the third one, like, get in the way on the moped ??
They also called me Tri-snag
no i have a special seat to accomadate my middle testicle,
The only time i have a problem is buying pants. i have to order a 36 extra hung.
If Lance Armstrong can win Tour de France and date hot celebrities, I guess there's no performance issue associated with having 1 testi
Well at least you don't need to worry about another "nutty" one...ba dum bum! What's his middle name? You could call him that...or you could just avoid using his name altogether. I have been known to do that.
If it was my one hairy ball (mine are actually paternal twins and bald) continuously slapping you in the right places, you could call me anything you wanted ... especially back for seconds or sixths or tenths or ...
You get my point?
TG
LOL!
Have you considered ArgoNut? References Jason (of the argonauts) and pays homage to his single nut.
I am no better than your average 13 year old boy. That is what I've come to realize.
I've been divorced for 10 years and I still wouldn't even talk to someone with my ex's name. I liked the suggestion of Juno, since Jay might be confusing.
Hmm J3, The Argonaut, WOB (willie one ball) or insert another initial before OB.
Though really, I think the whole one ball thing freaks guys out more then girls, because we just feel pain
LOL.
Not first date fodder to ask about the single nut, but ok first date fodder to be "handsy" and find it?
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaa
Did you find out his middle name?
Jay?
Juno gets my vote.
Hilarious post, by the way.
I vote for "Ol' One-Ball".
Omg, I had that problem when I dated a guy with the same name as my brother. I ended up calling him by the first letter in his name.
Does he have a middle name? If that doesn't tickle your fancy, you could try a variation of Jason. Jace? Or switch a latter out or something lol. That is quite the predicament!
I like Juno. How in the world did you meet another Jason?
Well, you've got me beat. I haven't jumped back into the dating pool, altho in my defense working 3 weeks straight of 12 midnights does tend to put a damper on your social life.
Just call them all Baby, Honey or Darlin', that way you don't have to worry about names............
I just now viewed this from home, where I can see the image. One of Simian Farmer's wife's friends has this shirt! It was funny to see it here.
I suppose you could always so "Look, I've nothing against your ball, it's just that, well, neither have you".
I just don't see the problem. Unless Jason was your dad's name. Yuk. And yeah, there's nothing wrong with nicknames! My wife calls me Sweetheart and I call her Ponkey. Don't ask...
Well, you can't call new Jason "nuts" can you? Bummer....hope it works out.
lol!
There should be a voting-thingy on the side of your site, temporarily at least. I am sure "lucky bastard" would be the winner ...
I'm reminded of a children's story called "Goody Two Shoes" in which a child was inordinately happy to have an entire pair of shoes and not just the one to which she was accustomed.
I think it needs work, though.
JJ? JD? JR? J's go well with other letters for names.
Of just stick to Jay, and when you're printing off the family Christmas cards, you can be totally cute and write "Season's greetings from the Jays!"
Just call him Leonard. Next time just look up a Leonard in the phone book.
Is he Native North American by any chance anywhere back in his lineage? If he is then "Jason Swings Alone" has some potential.
Too bad he just has the one though, with none you could call him Jason XX. (Have they made Halloween xx yet?)
OH SHIT! I GOT IT!!!!
Call him "Tether"!!! Tether-Ball!!!!
I kill me! LMAO
Last one: "Pen", as in pendulum. Have good night and best of luck to ya!
That had to be a tad freaky. I dated a guy who's you-know-what was crooked ... it tilted to the right if I remember correctly.
Holy crap, the name thing would freak me out
From what I understand Hitler only had one ball, not that I think you should nickname your new beau "Hitler". Did you experience any awkwardness the first time you used the expression "on the ball"?
For the record, Lance Armstrong won seven Tour de Frances with only one testicle.
How did I miss you were now single?
Sorry to hear about the breakup (I went through that 6-months ago, having ended a 6-year relationship).
I'll be in Toronto on Dec 21st, 22nd, and 23rd.
Coffee?
G.
Dude, I totally missed your comment!
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