Your thoughts?
You are a Good person. We were taught that smoking was a part of life (along with drinking and many other things). It is your time now to change that habit. Probably time to buy a new chew toy, but this time for yourself!
My mother smoked from the time she was 18 until her first hospitalization when she was in her seventies, when she was finally diagnosed with COPD. She was on oxygen 24 hours a day after that, and passed away last month at the age of 83.
Good for you, Joan, for making this commitment. It'll be the hardest thing you ever do, and if you have to quit a hundred times before it sticks, then quit a hundred times.
My mother really benefited from pulmonary rehab -- see if your doctor will okay it for you. She gained a lot of energy and stamina from it.
You can do it, Joan! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. You should be proud of yourself for being brave and making a decision to change. Here's to many more years!
Here's to you, and full of love and prayers and peace for you.
Just FYI -- 102 people subscribe to your blog on bloglines. People read you.
Much much love.
Dear Joanie,
I know what you mean about the blogging. I haven't updated mine since Jan 1 and I really wonder if I should keep it at all. That said, I do read your blog every time it pops up in my Bloglines. I'd miss it if you stopped. 
I'm so sorry to hear about your health problems. I know it must have been very scary for you. You know I will support you through whatever decisions you make. I will send lots of positive thoughts and prayers that this time the doctors will get all of the medicine right to keep the anxiety from being overwhelming. I know that feeling and it's lousy.
I so wish I could come for your knit in. We'll have to find another time to get together. Wouldn't it be nice if the darn gas prices came down?
love & hugs,
Sarah
I read you, although I don't think I've commented before. Your pattern was the first pair of socks I ever knit, and for that I am forever grateful. Best of luck with the stopping smoking ... it is a Very Hard Thing to quit.
Wow, Joan,
I'm so sorry that you've been going through so much and I didn't even know. Congrats for quitting. It's a one day at a time thing, but I believe you can do it. Maybe as you get stronger it will become easier to get rid of some of the yarn, too.
If there's anything I can do for you, let me know. I'm glad you clicked post. Don't stop posting. I'm a subscriber... and I would miss reading your blog.
I'm sorry I haven't been more involved. I've had some life changes over the last few months and am struggling a little myself. But not like what you're going through.
I'm glad you reached out. I'm pulling for you.
Sweetie, you know I'm rooting for you, I'll add you in my prayers every day.
You are SO worth it and even if you stumble, remember you are ALWAYS worth one more try.
Take whatever can help you, prayers, meds, patches, groups, friends, and cheers on your blog comments. You have my number.
Joan
I have recently found your blog and it is one I have book marked and checked on daily. I would miss it if you stopped posting. In fact I've been concerned the last few weeks about your health as I knew you had surgery recently.
Regarding the cigarettes: I will keep sending warm healing thoughts your way to help in your journey. Just keep at it, like the other poster said if you have to quick over and over keep trying. I wish you the best!
Debra
You are very courageous. Courage is doing what is hard, because it needs to be done, in spite of wanting to do something else. Best wishes to you.
I found your blog from Knit Talk. I don't have a blog-- DH says I don't have the ability to censor myself enough. (I think he's probably right).
aka Anne in Wy
Been blogging for over 4 years now, and I often question my commitment. On the other hand...why not? Do it for yourself only...readers are frosting on the cake. I crossed over into 60 this year, and I identify with the need to take stock. Bad people are people who hurt others and don't care. Sounds like you've mostly hurt yourself, and obviously you care very much. Good luck with quitting; if it doesn't work...quit again. I'll be happy to read about your progress.
Joan:
Having quit smoking a number of times before I really quit, I know it is hard. You have to do it one hour at a time, then one day at a time, then one week at a time. I will light a candle for you.
You can do it! It won't be easy, but with your resolve and support, it will happen. Good luck!
You CAN do it. Having the health problems you've faced (and will face) is much harder than quiting. You CAN do it.
Good luck with quitting smoking! I know how hard it can be but it is so worth it.
And BTW your stash looks a lot neater than mine!
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your posts. But, the others are right - it should be something that you mostly do for yourself.
I do not think you're a bad person at all. My grandmother has emphezema and still begs the rest of the family for cigarettes. My mom had a heart attack and stopped smoking right after, but now she just doesn't smoke quite as much as she did before. I believe you can quit - because that truly seems to be what you want to do. A person has to truly want to quit....not just tell everyone else thats what they want; and then start smoking again on the side. Keep trying don't give up, even if you do relapse!
You can do it! I have patients who are both heroin addicts and smokers, and they say the smoking is the harder of the two to kick. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
Hi, Joan,
As a long-time smoker, I quit dozens of times before I finally managed to do it for good. It's been about 12 years since I last had a cigarette. You can do it too!
Wish I could be with you on the 19th (it's my birthday!) but can't make it from here in Portland, Oregon.
Best wishes and happy thoughts to you.
Toni
Joan, I also would miss you if you stopped blogging. I send you cyberhugs and good wishes for tackling your smoking demon.
No judgements - ever. Smoking doesn't make you a bad person.
That said, I'll be sending good thoughts for your intent. I know you can do this Joan - it's tough. And you're tougher
As far as the blog goes, if it makes you happy, post when you can and when you like, If it doesn't, let it go and move on. Life's too short!
Best of luck!
Dear Joan,
I would be one of the ladies who would be very sad if you did not blog anymore. I check it everyday, to see how you are doing, and how your knitting is coming along.
I am so sorry that you were not feeling well and I am sure that when you can say that you have quit smocking, you will feel so much better. They all say that. I will light a candle for you, to be strong and to persevere in your quest to be free. You will be in time. Of course you are a good person Joan, my God, what you all did for so many people in the knitting world. You helped me a lot with socks and blankets. thank you Joan for everything, and get well
be strong. You will be thought of daily. Warm hugs, Rita
Joan, I'm with you and pulling for you. I don't smoke, never have. I've seen my mom and brother struggle to quit smoking. My sister and brother-in-law 'should' be next. I'll be praying for you.
I read ! I also have a package waiting to be posted. Sorry for the delay.
Quitting is hard. I did, so anybody can ! Seriously though, focus on the fact that you have decided to do it. And don't be so hard on yourself.
For the anxiety and panic attacks I recommend Bach Rescue Remedy [there might be an s on the end. i.e. Bachs]. It really does work. Panic attacks are a new, peri-menopause induced, part of my life, and I find the Rescue Remedy really works.
Take care of yourself.
p.s. They say it takes 12 days to make or break a habit. 12 days doesn't seem as impossible as forever ...
Yes, I read your blog! Yes, I'd miss it if you quit writing. Once a month is fine, but keep us updated.
I'm sure you knew I had a heart attack back in November of 2006 at the nice young age of 49, just 19 months ago, and it was caused from smoking. Like you, I'd go into panic mode if anyone mentioned not smoking. I didn't smoke in my house, I'd go out on the deck, but I did smoke - 30 years worth. As soon as I had the 3 stents put in I was given all kinds of meds, for my heart to heal and one very special little, tiny, white pill. It is called Chantix. It totally took away the craving and that awful anxious feeling from not having one. Every now and again I think one would taste good and I still love the smell of a lit cigarette, but I have no desire to have one. I'm over them, but, I couldn't have done it without the meds. Good luck, e-mail me if you need a shoulder, or just to have something to do while you wait out a craving. I've been there, done that.
Sheri in GA
I read your blog regularly and worry about you when you're not blogging. Please don't quit, there are so many of us who would sorely miss you!
You must have had a terrible health experience, I am so sorry. Rooting for you, sending you good quit smoking vibes! Don't get rid of the yarn, you are going to have more knitting time with all this quitting going on. It's just one more minute and one more minute, and then another one. You are Woman, of course you can do it!
First, I'm always here, always reading, so you can count on me for a little distant moral support.
I quit after about 24 years of smoking and that was 5 years ago. After the first few weeks it was a snap. Honestly. I still occasionally smell a cigarette & am tempted, but it's a passing fancy - I just walk on.
But testimonials aren't what you need. I did it with the inhalers and Nicorette, while I understand that these days they have different pills that can help. (Honestly, during the 1st couple of weeks of quitting that inhaler saved me. I needed the puffing and the nicotine without all the rest.
All that being said, I'd love to come visit your yarn sometime! It looks lovely.
Just one day at a time! I wish you all the best of luck. I understand your struggle as my Mom smoked until I was 18 years old. It took a scare for her to stop as well. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
I wish I could make it to your knit in but it is just a bad time of the year. Maybe we can work something out at a different time.
Keep on blogging and knitting!
I was a heavy smoker and gave it up over 3 yrs ago, now I don't miss it at all, something I couldn't have imagined as a smoker. Just take one day at a time, keep the money saved for little rewards for yourself. NRT helps! It controls the chemical addiction while you handle the habits. Good luck!
Joan, if you quit blogging how will we find out how your sock yarn wall hanging turns out?!!!!! I quit smoking about 22 years ago ... after sitting in a hospital room watching my dear sister-in-law die from it. On the way home from Joliet, Illinois to Racine, Wisconsin via the interstate, I took my cigarettes out of my purse and laid them on the seat next to me. I swear I hypnotized myself ... at each mile marker, I tossed a cigarette out the window. By the time I got home, I had kicked the habit ... really. I never had another craving. Yes, sometimes it smelled nice, but that went away too. I had smoked 2 packs a day for many years. Go into your brain, Joan, and tell yourself you are strong. Never feel sorry for yourself, tell yourself that you WILL do it. Mental. It's all mental.
And when you are finally free, take a couple of cartons worth of money and go to the Mannings and BUY MORE YARN!!!!! I love you, kiddo!
Anyone who has done as much as you have for the knitting world can survive quitting.
A few of my knitting/smoking friends have quit by simply having a basic dishcloth sitting on their needles (anything similarly mindless will do!) -- every time they had the need for a cigarette, they'd work on one. Not only did they quit, but they had a good supply for awhile.
Next time I'm out in your end on the continent, we have to get together. But until then, keep blogging: it's good therapy. That's mostly what I think I use mine for, I think....
Hang in there!
Linda
Hi Joan!
I'm sorry you're down and know I can't possibly really know what you're going through.
I know you have a plan for quitting, but it is really hard. It's not you--it's REALLY hard!
There's a man near me in Boston called the Mad Russian. Billy Joel, Courtney Cox, my mother-in-law, and countless friends have gone to him for smoking cessation, weight loss, etc. I don't really believe in these things generally, but if you google him ("Mad Russian"), you can read testimonials and newspaper articles. I don't know anyone for whom his treatment didn't work. Philly is a short hop to Boston and I'd be glad to pick you up and take you.
http://www.quit-smoking.com/audi...vings/
index.htm
That's a link to his audiotapes but include information about his treatment.
I'm a recent reader of your blog, but I enjoy it! I am hopeful that you will keep it going.
Your stash is amazing. I am finding that I buy yarn to comfort myself. I used to eat for comfort so I think if that's the worst habit I have, it's okay.
I'll be thinking of you Joan and sending good thoughts your way.
I am another person who was introduced to socks via your pattern, I have since gone on to many pairs and it's all due to you. I wish you much success on your journey to quit smoking, and send all good thoughts and prayers your way.
I haven't even read today's post -- it's now Day Two and I hope you are well and holding on. It's so hard, but I know you can do it. Oh, how I wish I could come and celebrate with you next month!! Sending every good wish and vibe I have to you, Joan.
--Vicki
Dear dear Joan,
Wow, you are so brave. This is an illness, an addiction, and you deserve to feel good and you can do it, just a few minutes at a time. Be good to yourself in as many ways as you can think of. You are so special and you can do this. I will light candles and say prayers for you to have peace with this.
Love,
Molly
If you are ready, than you can do it. I smoked for over 25 years...2 packs a day at the end and I quit. It wasn't easy but it can be done. You know this. I have been smoke free 8 years now. What helped me a LOT was joining an online quit smoking support group. It helped to talk to people who were going through the same thing as I was at the same time I was. I lived at that place every possible moment. You can do this Joan!! If you need to talk or vent...I am just an email away.
Dear Joan: Don't stop blogging...I check your blog almost daily for a new entry. I was a anthusiastic subscriber to your newsletter and have all (or almost all) of the back issues. admire your spunkiness in life....I still wonder about your motorcycle trip....How long did it take you to recover? Keep on blogging!!1
Rosalie
Joan, I have missed you and so sad you have been through so much, you will be in my prayers. I have been a fan since PMKN and still have all my issues.
Wow, I check your blog just about every day -- I go away for a weekend and you make 3 posts!
Joan, while I love to read of Annie and what you're knitting, the blog is much like a public diary, but a diary nonetheless. As much as I'd miss reading, *you* have to decide if it's something *you* want to do/continue. It can eat up a lot of knitting time so you should spend your leisure time doing what brings you peace and pleasure.
Sorry to hear of your struggles to quit smoking. I can't imagine anyone thinks you're a bad person because you haven't quit! I smoked from age 16 to 30, and quitting was so hard. Admittedly, I still occasionally 'crave' a cigarette, although it's easy to say no. My mother had emphysema from smoking, my dad had lung cancer, so I'm glad I gave it up. I hope you have success!
I LOVE your blog Joan, and I'm sorry you've had so much trouble with your health of late. You can quit smoking -- I promise. I did it, and so can you. It is hard, but really only very hard for about a week and then it gets much easier. You've been through more pain in the past year than the discomfort caused by nicotine withdrawal! You made it through that, you can make it through this.
Joanie,
Prayers and good wishes coming your way. You can do this!! I know how hard it is. I had smoked for 25 years and had a heart attack. I was still smoking sitting outside the hospital waiting to see the doctor. Somehow I did it when I realized that my life depended on it. It's been 18 years now, and I will honestly say I don't miss it. It requires changing a lot of daily habits, but you have to keep your sight on the bottom line. You are certainly not a bad person. Our whole society smoked and thought it was cool. I'll be thinking of you as you conquer this.
I had bookmarked your blog and read it regularly until my computer died last week. Don't know if you're still reading comments, but I do enjoy your blog. I hope that you decide to continue. But I understand if you don't want to...life goes on!
As others have said, yours was the first sock I made and the ease of it made me want to continue making them!
As for smoking, my mom smoked for about 60+ years when she decided to quit because a family member had to have his voice box removed. That scared her. I bought "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr for her to read. She thought it was very helpful! She's been smoke free for almost 3 years. Good luck to you!
My DH quit smoking for the last(?) time in January after a bout of pneumonia. He smoked again in June and landed in the hospital again!! Maybe this time it's for real.
BTW, I read your blog on Bloglines and there are 109 subscribers.Please keep it up as often as you can.
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