We're lucky, we only have bats on the outside of the house! And watch out, my father got a bite from one when he was chasing it! And then I know a person who was bitten in a private part when she sat down on a primtive type of toilet in a summer house...
How far back do I need to read so I can find the Bat Exclusion Plan? Or will you tell? My grandparents house has bats. I tell you I peed my pants laughing the first time I was there when one got in the house - it was swooping down at us and the cat was going nutty. My grandfather's Bat Exclusion Plan included a tennis racquet. Theirs came in whenever a certain closet door was left open upstairs.
Never get bats here, I've noticed. Did see 'em in Chicago, though. Scared my best friend shitless. I, of course, was very brave as I ran away ever so quickly 
Ilva - Yikes! What kind of a bat was it that bit your father? Ours are like little brown mice with wings. My worst nightmare is that one becomes entangled in my hair. I have to admit the broom is partly self-defense.
Laura - What we do (or, I should be honest, what the s.o. does while I hold a flashlight) is wait until dusk and watch every single last bat go out bug-hunting for the night, and then, in the last rays of the setting sun, climb up a ladder and bang up sheet metal in the hole we saw them coming out of. Last year, horrifyingly, there were hundreds of them. *shiver* But it did work for the time being.
Bats used to be way funnier when we had a cat.
Babs - There is something about bats that daunts even the bravest of us! I think it's the in-the-hair concept (see above).
Ok, you're going to think - "yep, I knew it, she's nuts" - but, if you're removing guano from somewhere, like, your attic, would you send me some?
We have a bathouse outside, in the back of the yard, on the idea of attracting some local bats to help with the Ryan's Steakhouse Buffet of mosquitos. The bugs are my best garden crop, and bats are supposedly the answer. But the bats haven't heard about the oh-so-comfy and lovely bathouse yet, because nobody's tried it out, and no one will try it until their Aunt Millie tells them it's good...you get it. Supposedly bat guano is the Michelin 4 star, at least to another bat, who's scanning the classifieds for a new hangout. (Heh - 'hang'...sorry.)
The bathouse also might be unsatisfactory because there's too much happening around it - though the local bats seem to like the underside of bridges just fine. Maybe hobos make good roommates. But we want to try everything to make the bats feel at home. So if you want to impress your postmaster, and see me blog about climbing ladders to smear stinky bat shit on a high pole, well, you know what you could do. Thanks. Sz
We only have bats in the attic (in the summer). Thank God they can't find their way into the house, but the mousies have plenty of fun scratch-scratching in the walls while I'm trying to sleep.
My sympathies.
Do you already have a bat house? If not, the s.o. should build one.
BTW: I think that thing about bats getting entangled in your hair is a myth. The rabies thing is, too.
(Bats. Meh.)
Jamie: Last night we made a "cassoulet" in the slow cooker! It tastes just like the real thing.
We had a bat in the house once, very noisyit was too!, made a hell of a raquet.
Great blog. Thanks for the giggle.
Brom - Ouch! The pun!
Kos - Thank you, and welcome!
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