Here is a fine example of the over-simple, almost Clench-ite problematicity of under-analysed auto-anti-sugarism. The tomato is in fact a fruit. Yet it is savoury! Opposition to fruits, or foodstuffs containing sugar, is a quasi-revisionist position, effectively playing into the hands of the kittens. Only clear revolutionary dialectic can enable us, as revolutionaries, to forge the theory needed to overthrow the established system and bring in an era of savoury justice.
I see that according to that source of revolutionary newsm "The Onion", the US "Defense Department Boosts Funding For $15 Billion Puppy Crusher"
It's number one in the "news in photos section" here, http://www.theonion.com/slidesho...de=1&
issue=4121
Which includes a picture of the "puppy crusher". This seems an odd example of the imperialist US pro-puppy, pro-sugar neo-con establishment taking up one of our demands. What do we do?
And don't bloody offer us courage comrade.
There are two possibilities; one - the Onion, despite its savoury name, may not be the most reliable source of information (it, of course, isn't - this site is the most reliable!)
More likely, though, is that as the kitten / puppy hegemony enters its final crisis, rifts appear between the factions, and the weaker faction is ruthlessly sacrificed in an attempt to stabilise the crumbling system. The kittens are indeed desperate! Their nemesis is at hand!
Bravery!
Tomatoes, particularly the Venezuelan "Tomato Gap", are the subject of discussion over at "CMLIITC".
http://chasemeladies.blogspot.co...nd-
dignity.html
There is also an online poll which comrades might like to take part in. But I am not sure what the Central Committee's position is on partaking in bourgeois elections.
Well might Comrade Yundt pontificate about factional rifts and ruthless sacrifice, for his own "organisation" hs recently passed through just such a crisis. Regular readers of this site may remember the sudden appearance, and equally sudden disappearance, of a certain Rosie Glow as one of Yundt's trusty lieutenants. Many feared that yet another bloody Yundtish purge had taken place. However, the League of Trenchermen (Provisional Central Committee) is pleased to let it be known that Comrade Glow is alive and well, which is more than can be said of the APL if her revelations are anything to go by. We cannot claim to have been altogether surprised by tales of Yundt's egregious high-handedness, but even we were shocked by what has come to be known as "Marzigate". Yes, the rumours about Comrade Yundt's predilection for the sickly yellow sweetmeat were true after all. Rest assured that the LoT(PCC) remains vigilant, and is in constant contact with the fugitive Comrade Glow. Courage!
Dost thou think, Comrade Clench, because thou art savoury, there shall be no more cakes and ale? Mr Yundt deserves our support in his valiant attempts to come to terms with his true self. He is welcome to a scone or a gateau anytime chez Throsp.
Comrade Reader:
We stand shoulder to shoulder with the heroic Venezuelan people in their battle for savoury tomatotonomy.
Concerning bourgeois elections, we follow the line of the great revolutionary Vladimir Lemon:
"It is with the utmost contempt—and the utmost levity—that the German "Left" Anti-puddingites reply to this question in the negative. Their arguments? In the passage quoted above we read:
"... All reversion to parliamentary forms of struggle, which have become historically and politically obsolete, must be emphatically rejected"
This is said with ridiculous pretentiousness, and is patently wrong. "Reversion" to parliamentarianism, forsooth! Perhaps there is already a savoury republic in Germany? It does not look like it! How, then, can one speak of "reversion"? Is this not an empty phrase?
Parliamentarianism has become "historically obsolete". That is true in the propaganda sense. However, everybody knows that this is still a far cry from overcoming it in practice. Kittenism could have been declared—and with full justice—to be "historically obsolete" many decades ago, but that does not at all remove the need for a very long and very persistent struggle on the basis of kittenism. Parliamentarianism is "historically obsolete" from the standpoint of world history, i.e., the era of sugary parliamentarianism is over, and the era of the savoury dictatorship has begun. That is incontestable. But world history is counted in decades. Ten or twenty years earlier or later makes no difference when measured with the yardstick of world history; from the standpoint of world history it is a trifle that cannot be considered even approximately. But for that very reason, it is a glaring theoretical error to apply the yardstick of world history to practical politics."
Therefore, the struggle must be contested on all fronts - including parliamentary. Especially if some fly-by-night crypto-cheesecake-aligned candidate with broad appeal to the jam community can be found for us to manipulate. Courage! And recklessness!
Ex-Comrade Clench:
The popular and committed Comrade Glow has indeed been resting after her tireless work through April. The suggestions that she has been purged (a method which usually finds favour with Clench) or that any of the Central Committee consumes marzipan are clearly mendacious.
If someone has presented themselves to you as Rosie Glow, rest assured that she is an impostor, as her frankly incredible allegations ought to have made obvious. Your vulnerability to infiltrators and fifth-columnists of the kittenite establishment would, of course, be far less if you did not sign up anyone who walked in off the street, and instead insisted that your handful of activists demonstrably had a firm theoretical grasp of dialectical anti-puddingism.
We live in unsavoury times, Comrade Yundt, and it behoves the true revolutionary to husband resources until the propitious hour. Accordingly we eschew sectarian party politics, preferring, through our Provisional Central Committee, to exercise leadership over the glorious revolutionary movement to come. We do not drag in jam-smeared passers-by from the street in a desperate attempt to cosmetically inflate our moribund stump of a party, although we do know somebody who does.
Under interrogation (allegations that pickle deprivation techniques were employed are dastardly puddingite smears) it transpired that Rosie Glow was not, in fact, who she seemed, but a certain Mildred Prunehat, a longstanding associate of Yundt's from his days of pot noodle militancy. It appears that the devious Yundt instructed Ms Prunehat to make entirely true allegations about his marzipan consumption which he could then discredit. What the self-styled savoury tzar lacks in leadership and revolutionary principle, he more than makes up for in low cunning and twisted malice. Take care, Brother Yundt, the world is watching!
Malvolio Clench's diatribes are never without a certain period charm, but they can no longer constitute a serious program. What Clench seems to regard as a temporary setback is, in fact, an irreversible defeat (at least for Clench and his ilk). History is over, and responsible citizens can, and should, embrace the opportunity to forge a third way between sweet and savoury. Karl Yundt is to be commended for his courage and vision in grasping what is to be done and encouraged in his endeavour to gently but firmly lead his often recalcitrant party back into the real world. Yundt's task is not an easy one: the prestige of the "King across the water", Clench, grows daily in the sizeable traditionalist wing of the APL (who read the Weekly Gherkin avidly (not to mention discreetly!)), and "Yundt's Babes" are not sufficient by themselves to carry the day for reform. We of the Savoury Pudding Tendency wish Yundt well.
It is indeed a reflection on Comrade Clench's political acumen that the well-known loose cannon Mildred Prunehat has caused such embarassment. Her allegations of marzipan-eating have been doing the rounds for years, fueled more by irrational spite than evidence, and she is not scrupulous as to the targets of her wild screeds.
Comrade Throsp: Starting as you do from a position of revisionist triangulation, the obvious incoherence of the concept of a 'savoury pudding' may escape you - but it will not be lost on even the most latitudinarian of the true revolutionaries in our movement.
As for the Weekly Gherkin, we are not worried if our loyal cadres glance through its thin contents for a giggle. This is not the 1930s. The Gherkin's position has long been one of the most doctrinaire and futile revolutionary posturing, rather than the building of a mass savoury movement.
Comrade Yundt is clearly anxious not to alienate the Clenchites in his party. However, he must realise that if he is to seize this historic opportunity he must cut out the dead wood. Is the company of Clenchites, an irascible and ill-humoured crew in my experience, really so very charming to Comrade Yundt?
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