Both my wife and I deal with grief, different reasons from you and each other, on a daily basis. My first recomendation is to find a councilor/ therapist whatever who you can talk to. There is no replacement for a neutral, third party, trained, compassionate ear. Even if you are able to talk to your loved one. like my wife and I, that does not replace counceling. Your loved ones should never be your therapist.
Just a couple of things; do not feel guilty for being angry at any demands placed on you when a child. You were a child and not supposed to be an adult's caregiver no matter what the situation. It was unfair of anyone, whoever it was, to put you in that position.
From the sounds of your life as a kid it is no wonder you created, an active fantacy life, it kept you sane and was an appropriate copping tool. A good book on how we are conditioned by what happens to us in our childhood is by Jeffery Young(Yonge?)called Reinventing your life. You may want to check it out while you are looking for a therapist. I find it helps to go into therapy with a purpose in mind, what you want to do etc.
cheers and good luck
Richard
Oh Kate... I've been wanting to watch "Finding Neverland", but I'm afraid to since we lost my son's dad to cancer two years ago. I think it will just be too emotional for me.
My daughter, who never cries at any movie, said she cried hysterically at this film (and it wasn't HER dad who died).
I still replay Tony's dying and death in my head a lot...it's such a life-changing thing for those of us left behind that it's hard not to. It has gotten better with time (the first year was really hard...I'd cry while driving all the time) but I don't think it ever goes away completely.
Kate, that is a lot for a child to comprehend. You are taking strides in the right direction by letting your feelings go. The more you talk about it, maybe write about it, the more you will come to terms with the grief and even if she is not there to see your furure family, they will see her and know her from your pictures and your memories
Commenting by HaloScan
