Walking Circumspectly
Reading her categorizations of men has made me ponder getting the book. Early in our marriage, I used to get so frustrated because I'm married to a mostly Mr. Steady and I'm more the Visionary/Command type of personality. When I found out more about personality types, I came to appreciate his strengths and not take them for granted. And also it helps to understand why some of the conflicts come up and how to resolve them. Good stuff again, Kristen!
"We need to be the helpmeet they need not the one we've designed in our own minds."
Wow, good stuff there Kristen. I've been blessed as I've learned to thank God for the husband he's given me and look for and appreciate his qualities instead of wishing he had some other qualities.
By the way, my copy of the book should arrive any day now. Can't wait.
Blessings.
Another great review, Kristen! It is awesome that you are posting all of this here, and I am thankful to be able to read it and have my heart convicted of so many things in the process!
I have a definate Mr. Steady over here, and I love that about him. I finally broke down and ordered the book from No Greater Joy last night, I can't wait to read it myself.
Isn't it funny. We never have problems with the ideas of the commands of Scripture (submission, forgiveness, humility, etc.), just the workings out of it. I can remember thinking, "What is wrong with me. I believe in submission!" The verse you mentioned has been on my mind a lot. The one about tearing down your house with your own hands. How sobering and scary. I have found myself praying those Titus 2 verses over and over, so that I will not disgrace the gospel of God. What wonderful prayers we have given to us in Scripture.
My hubby is a visionary/steady man. It's an odd combo. He has great vision, but instead of rushing out to do it, he is methodical and meditative about it. I see his vision and say "let's go, get your shoes on." Then I become command woman. This is a bad thing. I am learning to let things work their course in his mind and to wait patiently for him.
Since I have read this book I have been painting, grouting, weeding, and other things that he is "supposed" to do. The funny thing is, I feel so productive and fulfilled in my role as home keeper and help meet, and he is insanely proud of me. What bliss
.
Have a great day. It is gorgeous here.
Leigh Ann
Leigh Ann,
I can really relate to a lot of what you posted!
Mine is a combo of all three, depending on what area of life we are talking about, and I too have felt the same way--like such a woman--when I dropped my "but the man does this and the woman does this" stupidity and started just HELPING the guy where he needed to be helped and in the way he wanted helped!!!!
*grin*
Kristen,
Great post, great post, great post.
Oh, wait! Did I say that already???
Wonderful post, Kristen!!
LeighAnn, is your husband a scientist/engineer/computer type? Just wondering.
Kristen, I, like other commenters who got here first, really liked these statements:
"I am pretty good at being flexible, but because of pride and stubbornness have often chafed at the whole, well, submission thing. Never the idea of submission, mind you, just the pesky working out of it."
LOL, yeah, it's the pesky working out of a lot of Christianity that has me going! The ideals sound fine! LOL
and,
"Regardless of our opinions about Debi's categorizations of men, we can probably agree that to have a godly marriage, we need to understand our husbands and seek to be the helper they need, not the helper we designed in our own minds."
And oh boy, does that ever take wisdom! And, sometimes, just plain old asking and listening to the answer!
I appreciate your thoughts today.
My dh is very Visionary with a little steady. Flexibility is not one of my strong suits...do you see where this is going?
Great post Kristen - love your perspective.
Blessings,
My dh is majorly commanding (also a visionary, I think) - I'm having to constantly be on the look out not to "big sister" him. It's just by the Grace of God that I started learning early on that he's not just "being bossy" - it's really his personality. I pray that I'll spend the rest of my life learning more about the man God gave me.
My dh is a total steady and computer/scientist type. I'm the visionary and commanding type (read bossy
). We both often wish it were reversed. Still, we so desperately need each other. Either of us would be pitiful if something happened to the other person.
Being a strong, visionary, pioneering woman is not the best thing to bring into a marriage to someone who is more of a "don't rock the boat, mr. steady" kind of guy whose motto is "no rut too deep." But, God is at work in our lives, and next month will be our 15th anniversary.
I'm resolving to get Debi's book. For some reason, our local library doesn't have it. (Big surprise there) I've read other stuff by her and her husband. They are not mealy-mouthed wimps in their writing. They boldly speak the truth, which is refreshing in an age where people are so afraid of offending or judging that they never say anything that's life changing.
Once again, Thanks, Kristen, for pointing me to scripture and the Lord. ((Hugs))
Thanks for the great comments, everyone.
Kristen,
I truly thank the Lord for coming accross your blog. My former blog crashed and I lost all my writing so I have moved to blogspot. I am a new wife of two months! What you wrote and what I also read briefly in the excerpt of Debi Pearls book has already made an improvement in my marriage! I am on a mission and on fire to KNOW MY MAN and be the help HE needs. It is amazing what we can garner from other sisters in The Lord and the truth that the Holy Spirit reveals to our spirits, PTL I just ordered the book today. God Bless you Mightily!!!
Shah-yee
((HUG!!))
Great to meet you, Shah-yee! Praise the Lord!! It is exciting to grow together.
My hubby is Mr. Steady. If I were to describe myself, I'd be Visionary Woman. He definitely keeps me grounded. But I do often get frustrated with his "status quo" mentality instead of seeing what a great blessing his steadiness really is. He has kept this "nutty flake" grounded on many an occasion! I'm now to the point of reading your posts that cover stuff I haven't read in the book yet. So far you've been having the same thoughts I've been having. So I'm granting myself this privilege.
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