This blog is way left of center...
The view from over this'away is that you're doing pretty damn good.
I've developed a theory about human perception of the passage of time. Said perception is driven primarily by novelty, and there are two key effects involved:
1. More novelty corresponds directly to how fast time seems to go by as you experience it.
2. More novelty also corresponds directly to how much time seems to have elapsed in retrospect.
And of course the converse of both is also true.
Our vacation in Italy - four cities in a foreign country in just ten days - absolutely blew by as it was happening. And yet at the end it was like, no, that couldn't possibly have been just ten days. It felt like we'd been there for a month and a half.
The work week? Sitting a cube, going to boring meetings where everyone talks about the same stale shit over and over? Those days absolutely crawl as they're happening, but when Friday gets here it's like, wait, wasn't it Monday just two minutes ago?
Toast, I agree but I have a theory as to why I don't seem to age in my own mind. Not having kids kind of inhibits that growth into adulthood. It's way too easy to stay a 20-something as opposed to watching your offspring grow into their teens and 20s and frankly, the idea that I'm old enough to have an early 30-something kid right now is something I just soundly reject.
No way would I act younger than my own children. Or would that be a bad thing? Remember the show "Family Ties?"
Not having kids kind of inhibits that growth into adulthood.
I know exactly what you mean.
Great post, I identify with it on many levels. But I have children in their 20's now and that makes me feel old. I see their friends as peers but their friends see me as a mother. Scary. I also clearly remember being 17 or 18 and thinking how old and decrepit 40 yrs old seemed and thinking you might as well be dead as how could you enjoy anything at that advanced age, how wrong I was. Its true what they say 'its not the years left in your life that matters, its the life left in your years.'
And P. S. my best friend and I have decided there is no fun to be had in ageing gracefully, so we have made a pact to age disgracefully, and don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks!
Disgraceful aging IS the way to go!
This is some lovely writing, konagod. I hope that you will experience the peace in your fifties that I was pleasantly surprised to find.
Kona you and I apparently have the same birthday -- I'm now 40.5. And feeling much the same as you. Aging disgracefully sounds like a wonderful idea.
i've found that i am happier being myself the older i get.
i don't seek approval of "them" as much. i don't quite fit into any little box and that used to bother me a lot growing up. it coused me to make some poor life choices trying to be like i thought everyone else was.
now, i just want to grow as the me that i am.
do wish i had the body i had at 20 tho!!!
I am now 51 and I have three sons, 21, 19, and 16. They actually keep me young because I stay tuned into what they're doing. I like much of the music they do, and we see a lot of the same tv and movies. I like them, too, because they have become interesting people.
There are lines I have promised not to cross as I have gotten older. I know what I look like in a bikini, therefore it's a one-piece suit for me from now on. I color my hair and have even added some blonde to my brunette color because gray hair made my skin look washed out. I wear cute clothes, but not teenage clothes. I'm not in constant pursuit of the fountain of youth, but I take care of myself and I do that by eating smart and working out.
I really believe age is in your head. I acknowledge that health problems can slow you down and make you feel older, but for the most part I feel good and I find myself thinking that no matter what number of years I have, I am glad to be around and kicking ass. And I'm doing some of the best artwork I ever have, so I'm ready for the future.
I am turning 50 in early December. I'm OK with it. And, although I do have children, they've always been older and wiser than me. Thank goodness.
Very well written post. You certainly don't look 50, whatever 50 is supposed to look like.
The 5s always bother me more than the 0s. Turning 25 meant that I was getting close to 30 so I started thinking that I was 30 when I was about 28. By the time the actual 30th birthday came around, it was no big deal. I have followed this pattern for every birthday. The last one was 55 and looking 60 in the eye is not a lot of fun. I guess I will see how 60 feels by the time I am about 57.
I just turned 49 yesterday, and this post is just what I needed!
Thanks.
donnah, that bikini comment made me smike. I bought a Speedo in my younger days and can't believe I ever wore that in public. It was as awkward as that scene in Meet the Parents. 
That was almost as bad as when I was a teen and bought a boxer short swimsuit... in white. Dear god, how stupid was I not to know what happens when white gets wet! At least it wasn't cotton but it was bad enough.
Thanks for sharing. It does sound like thoughts of mortality are creeping around your head right now.
Its hard for me to judge time. With the twins still barely into toddlerhood my perception is warped beyond recognition. I can remember facts of my life from before their birth; but, it seems it was a different person and I can't remember what I felt like before the girls. Also, the last 17 months might as well have been forty years.
As for feeling my age, I remember thinking on my fortieth birthday that I still acted and thought like I was 20. I was also terribly proud of the washboard belly on that day. Less than 2 years later and my belly sags, I've lost about 20 pounds of muscle after no longer going to the gym and averaging 4-5 hours of sleep for the last 6 months (and less sleep before that while the girls were still babies.)
Great post, sir. Wonderful, insightful writing there.
We'll be at the party.
Dear donnah: Ditto! I'm turning 50, but I do take care of myself. My spouse likes what he sees and that's alright with me!
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