I hope that my future husband was not so sleezy as the Herald says he was. I still love me some Johnny, but the idea of him cheating on his wife, in Phoenix, AZ of all places, makes me feel squicky.
More pantsing in the bullpen please.
Hadn't read that Damon article. Jeez. It's hard to know with stuff like that, 'cause both sides are upset and saying things from a very biased viewpoint, but it's awfully hard to not side with the wife and little kids. 
Dear Kristen,
I assume I have done everything to your preferences and am perfect in every way, much like Mary Poppins.
Sincerely,
Tim Wakefield
Dear Tim,
You are perfect indeed. Don't change a thing. I love you like family. But can you get Dougie to shave that soul patch?
Smooches,
Kristen
I remember reading articles on Johnny and hearing teammates talk about how he had gone through a bit of a mid-life crisis, but since growing his hair out and meeting michelle, he was happy again. I don't doubt any of the stuff his ex-wife says, and I think there's a lot of truth this this quote of hers:
"I'm the one who knows what he's really like without all that fame. I remind him of that and I guess he doesn't like it."
Dear Kristen,
We've held an intervention. I don't think there is much more we can do.
Warmest regards,
Tim
Dear John Halama,
I apologize in advance for the many, many times I will scream "CUIDADO, HALAMA!" when you come out of the bullpen this year. Oh, and stop scaring Sam.
Dear Everybody,
Give Edgah, Matty and Marky hugs. And don't hang them by their tighty-whities from their lockers.
And finally, do things that make Singleton, Murcer and Kay SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Love
Emma
Dear Wake,
Thanks for trying. Perhaps Millar can get to him in his sleep?
Huggies,
Kristen
Dear Halama,
Seriously, stop scaring Sam. I think she's shivering in the corner. Or she will be once she sees this: http://us.news2.yimg.com/
us.yimg...ees_flkw103.jpg
Respectfully yours,
Kristen
"sees this"
AIEEE! It's the EYEBROWS of DOOOOOOM!
/flings self from rooftop
Dude, JD's wife's boobs are out of control!!!
Hmmm, a Boston fan in Michigan, eh? Well, I'm a Michigan fan in Boston. Stupid Colorado College.
They make me uncomfortable because they're always looking at me! Mrs. Damon's boobs, that is.
Also, Colorado College and the University of Denver and all other schools in that blasted state can go screw for beating our teams. Argh.
Silicone Gone Wild. Next on the Johnny Damon show. Also, I was watching channel 7 yesterday, and the picture they had of JD and the former Mrs. Pretty Pony was adorable. JD's gazing into his baby's eyes, and he looked a lot like the guy Jamie from the Real World. Which is a good thing. What am I talking about?
Jamie was okay, but Danny was oh-so-hot. Wrong team, but still hot.
Hmmm. I think that's kind of how my roommate feels about Jeter. I refuse to concur.
Dude, Jeter looks like a Muppet.
Hey, I agree -- he's not my type. But my roommate thinks he's hot and is a Boston fan. She's rationalized it somehow.
Steinbrenner kind of looks like a muppet, too.
To be ridiculously self-referential, I shall refer you to a couple of previous posts of mine where this is all detailed with photographic evidence: http://basegirl.blogspot.com/200...-
necessary.html
and
http://basegirl.blogspot.com/200...ded-
roster.html
Show that to your roommate and tell me if she ever thinks of Jeter the same way again. Hee. 
It's funny because it's true! Haha!
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