I'm curious about your selection of Timlin in this hypothetical throw-down.
Trot's an obvious selection. You don't have to be the biggest or strongest guy around if you can work up a good case of the crazies when someone pisses you off. Trot's totally there, as we saw so vividly last night.
Tek is also a great choice. He's built like a middle linebacker and he demonstrated last season that he'd stand between anyone and his guy (or gal).
For a third pick, I'd have to seriously consider Kapler. He's got the raw strength to drop a guy with a few punches and turn a fight around quickly. Although I can cite no evidence to support my position, I'd bet that the guy has got some skills, too.
So, again, why Timlin?
I pick Timlin because he's so balls out, so "Fuck if I care," and he looks like perhaps he knows from crazy. Plus, the dude has a crossbow. I mean, that's some scary shit. Kapler, as witnessed last night, can actually remain rather peaceful and passive and within himself, even when things don't go his way. Timlin, or "Sarge" or "Big Fitty" looks like probably, he'd have a hard time controlling the rage. And that's a guy I'd want on my side. So basically it's what I perceive as a penchant for going batshit insane on someone rather than physical build.
Although if Kapler wants to defend my honor, I'm not going to say no. 
I recommend this article re: the Devil Rays. I read it last night on the bus home and was very amused.
I'd let Gabe Kapler defend my honor, but I wouldn't want to include him in a street fight, because I wouldn't want anything to happen to his pretty, pretty face
Hee, TGIC.
Trot looks like a seven year-old on steriods in that picture. I want to buy him a a big lollipop, but hand it to him from a distance so he won't claim my arm.
I want Kyle Farnsworth on my side. I vote we steal him away from the Braves.
Yay for The Farns! He belongs in the Fens.
Oh yes, good call. Probably he wants to come play for us, right? I mean, whyever wouldn't he?
//the surely hilarious Wrestlemania implications of that scenario//
nice.
you will remember that trot *did* throw down on gabe's behalf in an actual fight. july 24th--the sideline bout between kapler and an inexplicable WOTS.
my three in a fight would be trot, timlin for reasons you mentioned, and papi, because when he gets going he's enough to make me wet myself - even if he's on tv, and i'm, you know, far away, watching it.
The posse I'd roll with in case of a throw down...
Trot: I too find merit in "stone cold bat-shit crazy" when it comes to bodyguards.
Papi: He throws bats when he's mad.
Tek: Do I really need to explain this?
I did almost go with The Farns except I'm afraid he'd eat me in my sleep or something. Plus, he might find out that I kinda like Metal. And that would be bad for me
OK, I'm coming around to the "crazy as bugfuck" argument with regard to Timlin; although, I can't recall ever actually seeing him go to the bad place like we've seen Trots (and to a lesser extent, Papi -- the Angels games equipment throwing comes to mind) do. Can anyone refresh my memory.
If Timlin tries to use crossbow in a street fight, he really is fucking crazy, unless he's fighting vampires, maybe.
Come to think of it, does anyone (besides Trot, natch) on the Sox have a bigger capacity to go fully ballistic than Tito? I'm not sure that I want him on my side, though. He'd probably let Timlin do all the fighting until he'd gotten the crap beaten out of him.
I'l divide my brawl team into two groups: The 'polite' in game brawl group, and the 'crazy no holds barred' street fight group.
For group one I'd go Tek, Kapler, and Youk. . . three of the biggest guys on the team who I think could ultimately keep themselves under control.
For Crazies: Trot (of course), Millar (the man definitely has a few screws loose), and Timlin. I could see any one of those three going for the broken bottle in a bar fight.
Millar, good call. Yeah, he's the goofy, happy-go-lucky one, but I can definitely see him being a down and dirty, cornered animal kind of a fighter.
Or he'd just hug you until you didn't want to fight anymore.
How did we forget Wells?
I don't want to fight anymore! Hold me, Millar! Jack and Coke for everyone!
//How did we forget Wells?//
Obviously, Wells would threaten the opposition with carnivorous actions. Which would be, I believe, downright terrifying.
Good call, Marianne.
Only problem with Wells is I would expect him to be just as likely to take me out as he would whoever we might be fighting with.
But yeah Amy, after the week I've had so far, I'm all about the drinking! Less thugging more chugging!
The thugging comes AFTER the chugging...especially if Wells is in the mix.
Will, we should drink tomorrow. I will be in the fine state of RI for approximately 24 hours. Heh.
See, I know that Ortiz gets mad and can throw bats and shit, but for the most part, he just seems supremely huggable. I guess he'd be a good guy to have on your side but it's like the big dude thing. He's so big, like Kapler, that he's probably never had to fight that hard to knock someone on their ass. I think I want a smaller guy who feels he has something to prove.
This has gotten awfully Freudian, hasn't it?
Can you imagine having Trot and the Farns on the same team? I don't think we'd ever lose a brawl
Trot, The Farns, and Gabe Kapler. Get Kirk Gibson as a bench coach and Nolan Ryan as a pitching coach. My god, we'd be unstoppable.
Yeah me too - I'd picked Kapler for the 3rd defender - body builder guy!
(hee)
Uh Tek of course. Ask A-Rod's face. Or his pride (the very small piece that is left to carry on).
Sam, My God.
Trot - Even Millar said he's the toughest bastard on the team and he's not "all there".
Tek - get him pissed enough and he's not to be f'ed with. ARod is a pussy so I don't think we've seen the toughest Tek can be.
Timlin - sorry, but he's just too old to be swapping punches with a 25 year old on roids. I'd take Kapler in a heart beat for #3. Watch those veins popping out of his cue ball head when his blood boils will scare the crap out of any thug in baseball. Just ask Tanyon Sturtz and his bloody ear.
Commenting by HaloScan
