thoughts...usually with attitude...
the prostitute with the runny nose made me laugh till I farted, then blamed it on the dog. hehehehehehe
yeah, but burf, you ALWAYS blame it on the dog, hun...or kiddo!!
I loved them all. And thanks for dedicating the post to me.
Terry-glad you like em! it's nice to find someone else close to my age that isnt so easily offended!
The last one was really funny. Of course, you know the problem with telling a good joke is that it reminds people like me of bad ones.
For example:
A woman walks into a gun store and tells the owner that she wants to by a shotgun for her husband.
"Did your husband tell you what gauge to get?" asked the owner.
Replied the woman, "No. He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him, yet."
*********
A minister goes to visit a member of his congregation at the hospital. He's hooked up to all these machines, so he can't talk. But he can write. So the minister jots down a note asking him how he feels, and if he can take care of anything for him.
The patient started writing something, so the pastor stepped closer to him to get a better look at the paper. The patient suddly put down the paper, and began gesticulating wildly.
The minister couldn't understand what he wanted, or what was so urgent. Frustrated with the game of charades, the minister urged the man to write down what he wanted. The patient wrote down something on a slip of paper, handed to the minister, and then went into coronary arrest.
The minister summoned the doctors, but they were too late. At the funeral service the following week, the minister was giving the eulogy when he reached into his pocket, and felt the note that the deceased man had given him.
"I was with Joe when he passed away," said the minister, "and before he expired, he handed me a note. I put it in my pocket, but I've been so busy this week, I haven't had a chance to read it. And I should, because somehow, I just know that Joe wanted to tell me, and perhaps all of us something he felt urgently important; something wise and profound that can only be seen from the precipice of death."
The minister took the folded note and read, "You're standing on my air hose, you goddamn moron!"
********
x-dell...i didn't follow my own addvice, and had a mouthful of ice water!! thanks dammit!! those were great, by the way!!
Haw haw.
Why did they bury {insert name of celebrity} 12 feet under?
Coz deep down he is a good person.
===
How does the man on the moon get his hair cut?
Eclipse it!
===
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them
Hellooooooooooo Libby! I loved the prostitute joke! hehehe
I just stopped by to say hello and see how things were going with you! Hope all is well and I am thinking about ya!
Have a great week!
K8
sj-i just kinda felt like "being funny today" like you!
k8-wow! it's really nice to see you! i've been wondering how you are, cuz you had SO much going on in your life!! don't stay away so long!!
Ok..the hooker joke was gross. EWWWWWW.
Ok, it made me LOL but it was STILL gross.
christine-i KNEW out of all people YOU'D would lol at that one, gross or not!!
You have comments enabled again! Or was that just some stupid quirk my computer was experiencing? I've been here, but not able to comment for ages! Well, whatever- I'm glad it's working again and hope all is well with you.
cindy-huh! i have no idea what's up with that!!
Man-o-man I ought to send that last one to my Bro-in-law...
he was uninterested & uneffected by the fact that you can download custom 'ring tones' until he discovered one that sounds like: FARTING.
Anytime you call him on his cell now - no matter where he is...
(Has to be a guy thing, no?) 
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