Tell her about HPV. That over 75% of sexually active people are exposed to it. That unless you are only having sex with virgins, you are at huge risk. Then do a google image search for "genital warts" and show her the photos.
i thought i read that condoms don't protect against HPV
They protect more than none would. It's like with herpes-- if the other person has sores on places that aren't covered by a condom, then yeah. But since (according to my doc-- who could be wrong, she has been before) most HPV spread from guy to girl is through the head of the weeeeeeeiner (make sure you say it that way, too, please. So that she takes you seriously.) condoms can definitely help.
Ooh! Gonnorhea! Gonnorhea is most prevalent in people ages 15- 25! And it's gross! And women who have vaginal intercourse with an infected man have a 70 - 90% chance of getting it while men who have sex with an infected woman only have a 30-50% chance.
Why the heck is all this sex ed stuff popping into my head!
And gonnorhea and chlamydia can cause PID which can lead to infertility!
Show her pictures of gonnorhea!
I agree with Louise that you can bring up the topic of STIs, but I wouldn't try for scare tactics. Just give the facts. Most of us will have HPV at some point in life. I have it. As long as you get regular PAPs, it's livable. At least she is already taking responsibility for pregnancy - that shows she can/is prepared to take some of the risks of sex.
I would mention that condoms minimize risk, but also emphasize the importance of regular sexual health check-ups. And if you have a good enough relation with her, you can tell her all the great stuff that doesn't require condoms! I'm too old now to talk to youth that way. I think they'd vomit at the thought of me having sex, but there are probably some good chat lines. The one I emailed you about is sexualityandu.ca, but I'm sure there's another site where youth can chat back and forth.
I think for women it's all about making them feel empowered and in control.
i actually did a bunch of research, sent her some links, and printed out hard copies of a couple of things that talked about std's but also about how to use a condom and stuff like that. she flipped through them and kept saying stuff like 'hmmm' 'ohhhh' 'interesting' and then said 'oh, i need to tell so and so about this, i'm going to take this to school on monday'
but before any of that she told me she was going to start using condoms. and i did have the conversation of other stuff they could do, when i said they could give each other head or masturbate with each other she was actually pretty cool about it, i have to admit, had our roles been reveresed i would have wanted to crawl under the sidewalk.
anyway, i thought that she knew all the stuff but was just ignoring it because she is afterall, a teenager and therefor immortal and immune to anything health-related. but her reaction to stuff made me think that maybe she didn't know. which makes me think, what the fuck are they teaching kids in school these days?!!??!!???
to recap: it went well, thanks guys!
Around here, sex ed totally sucks. If the parent doesn't want them learning it they don't have to take the class, they can sit out. And after about sixth or seventh grade, aside from biology class where you review the ins and outs (hahaha!) of procreation, there's not really any sex ed in high school. Well, there's one class, called "child development", but it's an elective and usually only taken by the "non-academic" kids because it's not something that would help you to get into a good university.
Sad, really.
Show her photos of skanky, infected penises, and point out that her labia don't have eyes.
She may not notice, and get a horrible infection.
No seriously, I'd try to be informative without being pushy or scary.
Even though the moment has passed.
Glad it went well. You'd make a great sex-ed teacher.
And I bet they teach nonsense in schools.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but (in addition to safe sex) I've actually started to believe that teaching abstinence (along with non-intercourse alternatives) as one of the many options available is a really good idea. It's ridiculous to think that the majority would actually make that choice, but for the minority that might, it's reasonable to lend credibility to that option. And if the only effect of doing so is that it pushes the average age that kids start having sex up a little, then what do we have to lose?
Kids are smart - give them ALL the facts, ALL the options in a straightforward way.
Good to hear it went well. I agree, it's the sort of thing that as a teenager would probably have made me want to crawl into a hole and die, but if you don't know stuff, it's usually not like that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with teaching abstinence - it should be part of the range of options. Personally I don't think teenagers should be having intercourse as the cells on the cervix are weak and very vulnerable to infection in teenage girls. Not morality, just fact. But Dan, I so agree with you that you need to describe other fun alternatives. I'm against the 'diseased' approach to sex ed.
Yep. It's like in health class when we had to watch that film about the tapeworm. It just made me not want to go to the Amazon. Ever. Which is lame. Or wherever the guy got infected. I'm over it now though, I'll just wrap my entire body in a condom.
Syphillis (sp?) is on the rise. It has, in the past, made famous world leaders go crazy. Tell her that. Remind her that choices she makes now, such as having unprotected sex, will affect her life later on, such as if she catches the chlamydia and becomes sterile.
I'm a dork, and didn't read all the comments!!! Good job.
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