Tell me what you really think.
I LOVE the way you write...just so punchy! I would love to be able to do that... A pleasure to meet you..
Ochemma
Dang, what is with those JW's? and the Mormon's too. Or anyone for that matter who is gonna stand there and recite Scripture to you. I've memorized the entire script to "Romeo & Juliet" but I don't go door to door reciting it to people.
Besides, both of those "religions" are considered a "Fringe Religious Group" (a.k.a. "cult"). NO, I didn't learn that at church, I saw that in my "World Religions" text in college.
Many people are not enlightened to the difference between a cult and a religion.
So I agree with you Mamacita; They can bite me, too.
You're a good read.
Indeed that kind of memorization and recitation is tantamount to brainwashing. I have had no trouble with LDS missionaries and have had them as neighbors for the past 8 years. They are always gracious and kind, never pushy.
My husband is of the "we need to be polite" mindset. I'm of the "why waste their time AND mine?"
I wi.
Given that severe offense seems to be the ONLY way to get rid of them, I will happily and enjoyably offend them at every opportunity.
-G
Don't know about JW missionaries, but the Mormon kids who come to your door, if you ask them nicely to not return, they won't. You shouldn't see more until new ones take over that area, and then only if they don't get the message passed on.
If you want to get a JW missionary to go away and stay away, tell 'em you're Mormon, and you'll listen to their sales presentation if they'll listen to yours...
I'll take a missionary at my door over some oushy kid selling magazines or candy or just about anything else, anyday. At least the missionaries want to insinuate something good (from their POV...and I really only know about Mormons) into my life and aren't there to suck money out of my wallet...
I am so rude to JW's. Mormons do listen and will not coemback. I have known too many JW's, back east in redneck country, who peddle their religion with the same abandon that they used drugs and drank with--it's like religion is their new drug.
I am NOT a Mormon!
I told one JW that I was a wiccan and could I say a prayer for them to the earth mother hehehe!
Nothing worse than people at your door. Home is where I go to get away from everybody, then these idiots come and try to sell me something, be it raffle tickets, candy bars, or religion. If I wanted any of that I know where to look so LEAVE US ALONE!
(except for girl scout cookies of course)
I've tried the polite route. They don't stop. I've tried not answering my door. They keep knocking. Now, I open up my door and say, "Go away, my husband is insanely jealous and will think you are here to ravage my body, and he will shoot you dead." I say it furiously, fiercely, and with wide eyes, as if I am in great fear.
They leave.
Oh my Gosh, you make me laugh. I wish you had photos of the signs! I am so intrigued. But your descriptions were funny, too, so it works for me.
I just don;t answer the door at all when I'm not expecting anyone. Is that wrong?
When I was an undergrad student at Cal-State Long Beach, I lived in an apartment complex near downtown. Shortly after moving in, the Jehova's Witnesses started to come by quite frequently. At first I feigned to be cordial and polite, but then I started to become really irritated with their insistence to save me. One morning, after I had been up really late working on a paper for an English lit class, I was awakened by a rather loud, persistent knock. Getting up from bed, I walked to the door and opened it. Gee, wouldn't you know it, my persistent callers had arrived again.
Before the two kind old ladies could begin their spiel about god and damnation, I looked at them and said, "Ah, could you come back in about twenty minutes. I was just getting ready to masturbate." Needless to say, they never knocked at my door again.
Laughing out loud about the signs... wish I was there!...
This is what I do for all salesmen, missionaries, and unwanted guests, including telemarketers: "No thank you." Click. -- Or shut the door, as the case may be. It's never happened yet, but I guess if they kept knocking, I'd call for the police to come and explain it again. No rudeness, no time wastage.
I've begun telling them I'm a Jew. Apparently I look Jewish, and my maiden name and my ex-husband's name both sound Jewish (though neither of us are) so people often asked me if I was. (Who asks these things? God, I need to know beeter people!) Anyway, we get all sorts of religious visitors, more Christians trying to get you to come to their church than Mormans or Witnesses, but regardless, I tell them we're Jewish, but thanks anyway. It's like a get out of jail free card to them. Are they afraid of trying to convert Jews? Perhaps the Jewish faith is so rock solid they feel they can't bother. Whatever it is, it works. I'm so going to get hatemail for this comment. Oh, well.
Oh, and my husband and his old Army buddies once invited some poor Morman kids in, only to offer them beer and porn, and talk about sacrificing small animals to Satan. (They were kidding of course, at least about the Satan thing) The boys never came back.
Back in the 80's when I was doing the band thing and working a graveyard shift, I was awoken from a dead sleep by a knock at the door. Having slept in the nude, I slipped on a pair of gym shorts and answered the door.
Two JW women, little old ladies, asking if I'd be interested... uh... well... sorry to disturb you sir, please have a good day.
Weird, I thought. Until I noticed my wake-up erection poking out of the leg of my shorts. Poking waaaaaay out.
Definitely a sure way to send JW's packing.
ONe thing women can do is say "My husband won't let me." Since both of those religions are very patriarchal, this works wonders! It feels a bit like a cop out, but hey, I didn't create the oppressive patriarchy. 
One weekend, Andrew & I drove past the huge Jehovah's Witness temple that I didn't know existed a few blocks from our house. I commented on how big it was, the biggest of that religion I'd ever seen. And then we joked that we ought to knock on the door and see if anyone wanted to hear about our religion of beer & wine. Then the exact NEXT DAY, after not seeing a Witness for years, we had two of them knock on our door.
I found it a little scary-- like, maybe they had some sort of ESP and knew we were joking about them the day before. Or bugged our car. Or something.
But it was funny. Andrew just said "No thanks" and closed the door. He's good at making pushy people go away.
Commenting by HaloScan
