Tell me what you really think.
Dear Mrs. MeanTeacher,
Amen.
Sincerely,
Anniebird
THE real world.....ain't it sumpthin.
Beware these "helicopter" parents....they can scare college administrators.
Good Post.
Interestingly, we teach these skills in elementary school.
Of course, the parents butt in there too
What I really want to do at the high school level is to wrap up a roll of toilet paper for "each and every" graduate in June, with a little card that says,
"Here you are, dear one. Learn how to use it. YOURSELF.
Love,
Ms Demi"
I wonder whether they'd "get it" or not. Maybe not. Sheesh.
Down with the Helicopters. They are a royal PITA and also are damaging the next generation, who really CAN'T wipe their own tooshes themselves.
I'd heard it was getting bad at the college level, too. I taught college in the 80s and early 90s. I only had one parent ever call me, and we all thought she was nuts (she was). Evidently she cloned herself, and now her name is Legion. PITAs.
Dang, that girl and her mom are unbelievable. I wonder how many times that's worked in the past? Must have, at least once or surely they wouldn't have tried it again? But maybe so. Some people really ARE that clueless. I say put glitter on the F to celebrate her reward for such behavior.
Ever wonder about the homeschooling-helicopter connection? Maybe there is one. Are there studies out on this yet? Should be.
It's the ultimate triumph of American Individualism: nobody else matters but little ole me (and my own family, who is accustomed to catering to my every whim).
We live in a society, for pete's sake. Sheesh. I weep for the future.
Oh. My. God. I think a future version of this person used to work in my office.
Yes, this mom seems to be a homeschooler. But I've seen plenty of these moms who aren't.
One student decided not to do 10% of the grade. Okay. She's not doing it. But I won't talk to her mother about it.
One student decided not to come for three weeks and not to turn in his papers, even though they are clearly listed on the syllabus. It doesn't matter if his mother said he didn't need to, except that I hope she's going to help him pay back that financial aid.
As a homeschooling mother of a college kid, I have to say that it's not just us.
And my son had better turn in his work on time, regardless. He knows that, too.
Sweeeeeeeeeet! Thank you for this post.
*Prays to the goddess mamacita.*
Stands up and claps {{{{{{clap}}}}}
If she thinks it bad now, wait until she goes to work in a major industry!
AMEN, I say....AMEN!!
I have a friend who taught at a college and she flunked a girl (with good reason) and the Pres. of the school called her and told her she'd have to rescind that F because the girl's father "gives too much money to the school for us to let his daughter flunk". Sick and sad.
P.S. Have you seen "O"? A friend of my daughter's saw it last week and said it was fabulous!
Oh, Mamacita! You just know how to sweet talk those kids, don't you?
Have I told you lately that you are my hero?
I knew right where this was headed and once you called her "missy" it was a precipitous slide into the fun pit of Mamacita's life lessons. Great post.
While I haven't had to deal with a helicopter parent in my college teaching career, I've seen countless students try to get out of/delay certain things because of random excuses.
If the student is doing decently and shows up, I tend to be forgiving. Sometimes things happen.
If the student misses class regularly because "my alarm doesn't work right," then I show no mercy.
Especially when the class is at 2 in the afternoon. (This has happened.)
WF
Did "missy" immediately get on her cellphone to Mommy & Mommy's Lawyers, then hand the cellphone to you so Mommy could ream you a new one?
It HAS happened. Not just in school, not just in college, but even in job interviews.
Love it. Love it. Love it.
My grandmother must be rolling in her grave because she would never have tolerated that behavior in one of her classes and she taught the equivalent of first and second grade (she taught in England). Sad, sad, sad that we've indulged these kids to the point that they're not ready for college even once they're accepted!
You did send this as an e-mail to her. No? OK.
The only time I really wanted to ream out a college professor was really partly his fault and partly the snobby university. Nyssa was trying to keep her grades high so she could transfer to William and Mary. This "Southern Party School" MADE all freshmen take the "Freshman Seminar" course. One of those "meet with the professor to try and help the kids with transitions to living away from home" type things. Several strange things about it... the course option picked determined the dorm the kids were in; instead of a 2hr course, this university weighted it as a 4 hour course. Hers had something to do with nature. The professor had them e-mail him once a week, met with them in the dorm as a group once a week and took them on two field trips.... one was a caving experience and the other to a JACK DANIELS DISTILLERY!!! He took underage freshmen to a Jack Daniels Distillery!!! WHAT WAS THIS MAN THINKING! Then, to top it all off, at the end of the semester, when the kids had done everything asked of them... he turned around and gave them ALL B's. Four weighted hours of a 3.0 for a NOTHING seminar class! Nyssa worked her tail off that semester and this one class almost destroyed her GPA. William and Mary wanted a 3.75 and those 4 hours of 3.0 gave her a 3.5. Never mind that she took two upperclass literature courses or Calculus. This one seminar had the same weight. Fortunately, she corresponded with the transfer admissions director, and with our move had the "in-state" factor in her favor this time, and did get in; but with a three month waitlist ordeal. Oh, and at William and Mary, she is on the Deans List with a 3.71 average and a double major in English and Geology.
There I vented. I think this is a problem at that ONE school. It would not surprise me at all that they DO have parents that give so much money they buy the kid's education or at least their four years of boozing at the campus. So, stand firm. When Nyssa had the problem with her prof, I was angry but I just told her she would have to do her best in all the other classes to make up for one jerk! And she did!
Mamacita, I really hope you sent this!
Amen, sista.
Dear Miss Idiot,
Please quit tormenting my friend. It makes her feel bad that you don't respect her or listen to her. Just do the class a favor....sh*t or get off the pot.
Financial aid will be a knockin'. Disney Dream for the princess may go up in smoke. I know she hates to whiz on your parade but the parade isn't for you honey. It's for the rest of the people that get off their butts and do their work. Life isn't a box of chewy caramel (like your mother that is all squishy and gives you your way) it's a box of chocolates and you never know what you will get.
Please oh please quit wasting my money. I mean they do lend my money to you so you can actually learn. So pay up and move on with your vision of what life will be.
I'm done ranting.
Get a move on,
Hula
(sorry I'm all over the board tonight)
I have had a kid this past two years who was homeschooled up until the beginning of last year (9th grade.) Same type of deal as here. Last year I was "blessed" to have him in TWO classes... The main exposure the kid had to his peers before high school was in athletics, so everything is a football field to him, only without the discipline I'd think a coach would mandate. He's loud, physical, and has absolutely zero self-control. I can deal with kinesthetic learners, but this kid never learned to stay in a seat, and will do things like randomly getting up and turning on a computer because he's bored with what we're doing in class.
I'm familiar with ADHD students. I have ADHD students. I have ADHD myself. This behavior is not ADHD, it's a lack of boundaries when he was growing up, and it makes me absolutely INSANE.
That's hilarious! You'll appreciate thisa, I suspect.
Even non-homeschooled students have this level of self-bestowed entitlement, in my experience.
I thought I was the only one who had people get up and walk out of class when they were "done learning" but an informal survey of colleagues shows that I'm not - students are doing it in all their classes.
I also have someone who missed an exam because it "conflicted" with his Thanksgiving plans...he was leaving Friday night (BEFORE Thanksgiving week). He got permission to retake it but so far he's missed BOTH his appointments with me to retake it and I think I'm done with him.
I mean- some of the things students have asked for (and gotten, when they go over my head and complain) are just jaw-dropping. When I was a student, I made my vacation plans for AFTER my last class before vacation. (And I lived farther away from my family than most of my students do). I'd never DREAM of asking for an alternate time for an exam for reasons of "vacation" or "going to Disneyworld."
I AM flexible: one of the young men in my class had to miss an exam today because a close relative had a stroke and he wanted to go to the hospital in case it was time to say goodbye. I TOTALLY understand that and told him to go with my blessing and that he could make up the exam when he got back. But there's a giant gaping gulf between that and wanting to leave town early so you can get to the deer woods, or see your girlfriend that much faster, or go somewhere to have fun.
I suppose I need to publish a list of "acceptable" and "unacceptable" excuses for missing class or making up an exam and attach it to my syllabus. But I kind of feel like, once you hit 18, you should be able to figure that out for yourself.
My rules of thumb for situations like this:
(1) I talk to students, not parents. If your mama calls me up, I will politely tell her so and then say goodbye and hang up.
(2) The syllabus is a contract. No policy decisions are made without the syllabus as the basis. You stick to the syllabus, everybody's happy. You fail to read or abide by the syllabus, you won't get what you want.
(3) The rules will be enforced early, often, and consistently.
Every day I find that teaching college students is eerily similar to parenting my 3-year old.
You should give her this letter 
When I left teaching at Northeastern University 14 years ago, nobody would have behaved quite like this student. My, how times have changed. Interesting that I read your post right after reading Suburban Turmoil's posts on Unschooling. I'm scared for all those unschooled kids who think they're going to be able to do college in the same way they did school: with no requirements, no tests, and no grades. Even Hampshire College doesn't allow that.
But my guess is that unschoolers will band together and make their own university and expect that their 'degree' will be counted the same as a traditional bachelors degree. I think not.
I am in university now, as a mature student. I am appalled at the whining, lack of responsibility, and general character of many of the "young 'uns". I won't make the sweeping generalization that they are ALL like that; however, they are all shocked when I hand things in early, do my readings, attempt to participate in EVERY class, and maintain a 4.1 gpa with three kids and, until this past fall, a job. It shouldn't seem so amazing; I am paying over five hundred dollars per course not including books. I intend to get the most out of it I can for that kind of money.
I believe the problems might be traced back to this "Age of Entitlement" we are living in. We are raising a bunch of whiners who feel they are entitled to everything "their way" and when they don't get it "their way", mommy or daddy stick up for them, exacerbating their already skewed sense of how things really work in the world.
Phew. Sorry for the rant.
Well praise the Almighty Resurrected Savior that someone noticed how vexed I was about this...
From the mother of six, who never misses class, never forgets assignments and gave away her a Beka Books....
Petroville sent me over here and wow am I glad she did! Very well said!
I can flashback 10 years and this could have been written about my college roommate. She lied, made excuses and had her mom do her projects all through her entire college career. She ALWAYS got away with it and went on to get away with it in her professional career as well. I later worked with her so I know. She needed someone like you to call her out and flunk her.
I'm not sure how to respond to your kind comment to me... Thank you.
Thank you for saying that.
I think there may be a "confirmation bias" here. Since hime-schooled students are rather rare, you notice if one of them screws up. But there's nothing to notice if a high school graduate of the usual kind screws up, and so is less likely to beremembered as such.
Not so long ago I knew the director of admissions at an excellent small liberal arts college that favored homeschooled applicants. Not only were they better educated on average than traditional graduates (and there are studies on that), but they were mature, hard-working and responsible. Or, as he put it, "they are adults who are comfortable in their own skin."
Maybe colleges like his get all the good ones.
OMG...I teach middle school and this broad sounds like she could be any one of my students, although the majority of mine understand the rules. I was seething after reading this.
Came over from the Perfect Post nod, and glad I did.
The sense of entitlement is incredible in many of the new college kids today. Truly incredible.
As a mother of a six-year-old and a three-year-old...and in my 16th year of college-level English teaching, I can say only, "Thank you." What free therapy that was for me to read!
Congrats on a great Perfect Post. I really wish you would hand this out to the whole class! That would be a wonderful life lesson for them.
I'm going to print this and make my daughters read it before they go to college!
Commenting by HaloScan
