Nanny Goats Soap Box
Oh my oh my oh my!!! Oh my!!! LMAO
Hmm... The Metamorphosis, huh? That was perhaps the most tedious, brain-bleeding piece of literature I have ever read. Someone should have chased Kafka with a can of Raid.
P.S. A 12GA is faster than Raid.
P.P.S. Thank you for the correct use of a simile.
Good GAWD I thought I was going to start CRYING.
Thanks for that very vivid re-enactment of what must have been THE most horrifying night of your life.
I know for sure it was the most terrifying part of my afternoon and I'm sure what will be giving me night terrors as soon as I lay my quivering head upon my pillow tonight.
The visual is an added bonus.
I hear apples are highly effective weapons against giant cockroaches.
Dude.. seriously? For something that big, forget the spray. Just wrestle the sumbitch to the ground.
Not many people know that, but bugs have very sensitive testicles. All you had to do was rub his testicles with one hand and open the door with the other. He would have ran away laughing. Win win. Unless it was a female. Nipple twisting would have worked.
haha...sounds a lot like my spider incident a couple of weeks ago! You always have to have a plan when killing a massive bug--otherwise it can go all kinds of wrong.
So glad I read this before slipping into bed...barefoot...scared to death.
OMG LMAO I just can't believe you are that brave! the armed forces will be knocking on you door for there really tough cases! lol
Oh jeez you gave me the willies with that one! I spray the crap out of the bastards and then beat them with a broom. If I'm close to a door I fling them out. If I'm near a bathroom they get the flush. *shudders*
Also, thanks for the mention!
That picture is hysterical and I that looks like a Chinese menu or something. I'm sure I've eaten in that same place before. ewwwww...
We are, without question, related.
I'm telling you, you need a cat. They're not just good for catching lizards!
I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. Oh I mean, you poor thing, how horrible for you.
HAHAHAHAHA. That was a good one. I love the picture to really capitalize on the Ick factor. Did I mention my last name is Cockrill? Can you imagine what the school yard kids called me? Yeah, real hate-hate relationship with those suckers! Hey, thanks for bringing up the memories . . . 
KJ
http://nanadiaries.wordpress.com
That is an impressive cockroach. I once started watching a movie of the Metamorphosis, until I realised he wasnt going to go crazy and suck peoples brains out with his insect beaky thing. He wasnt even a real cockroach, such a rip off.
Now I keep looking up to see if anything is hanging above my head. Thanks for that.
You really oughta read Maggie Dammit's Bat Twitter escapade. You two would have sooo much to talk about.
Wait.
Maggie was out of town last weekend. NGIP was out of town last weekend. Bats... cockroaches... similes...
could the armor plated cockroach be a metaphor? And... and...
Maggie is sometimes short for...
Oh.My.God.
I'm afraid the ones down here would knife you to feed their meth addiction. If you're afraid of bugs, don't move to the South!
I'm like the only one who didn't have to kill a really big bug this weekend.
You'll have to read Sprite's Keeper...one of my fellow bloggers and her story about the nasty spider in her tub.
http://www.spriteskeeper.com/my_...o-kill-
you.html
How hilarious! I've been immobilized by a few large spiders in my day. Do you remember the show Alf? It makes me think of the episode where they made him stay in the garage. He comes back in and says he can't stay in there because there is a spider in the garage (he's got his fingers apart by about an inch and then spreads his arms 2 feet wide) THIS BIG!
OK, that picture is HYSTERICAL. Almost as funny as the story itself. And I can so totally relate to that two-part reaction when faced with grave danger:
1. OMG I'M TOTALLY GONNA DIE
2. OMG I NEED TO BLOG THIS *NOW*
Awesome. 
And, Mojo? Baby? You are too. much.
Geez, did you kill it one leg at a time? And did you check on the roommate for any side effects? Good stuff! I think our spiders are related. Do you have any good snake stories? I have one coming out next week. I swear, it's like the creepy crawlies are coming to get us!
Thanks for the laugh!
A friend of mine has a great story about getting a giant bug, nearly dead and dripping with toxic goo dropped into his convertible while driving around in the middle of the night.
Makes it more credible now.
Epic lulz - nice work.
LMAO! You sound just like my roommate. Only she wouldn't have had the decency to let me sleep.
Too much? Me? Nah... I'm just enough. No matter what you might have heard.
While I don't like to kill things willy nilly, I have one steadfast rule: I don't venture out into nature, so nature should stay the hell out of my house. Once nature intrudes, our uneasy truce ends.
Hilarrrrrrrrious, hilarious murder!
I can usually deal with anything, snakes, spiders, Mothra, but cockroaches are the epitome of evil. Even a baby one renders me helpless.
You should be a thriller writing - that was dripping with tension and white knuckle terror.
ZOMG!! I didn't realize we both had bug incidents til you stopped by my blog! Holy crap, it must be a bug invasion!! btw, you're encounter and retelling are WAY more exciting, dramatic and funny that mine!
here's hoping you stay bug-free!
God, you're right! What is it with the creepy crawlie scary vermin invading our homes these past few days?
That picture is hilarious. And so is "my squirm count." Mind if I steal that?
I sympathize. I think you had it worse than I did. I haven't even seen our mouse yet. Once I do: it's all over.
You know, they say that for every one that you see, there are like a hundred hiding in your walls.
Good luck!
Modthor's largest assassin!!!!!
EEEKKKK! At least you have proof that he's dead! The other night as I opened the cabinet to get a glass, there was the brother to yours skittering around AAAAAAEEE!(how disgusting is that??) As I screamed, and tried to think (ha!) how to kill that sucker, he skittered right out onto the countertop. AAAAAEEEEEEEEE! By this time, the dog was on the hunt, but that thing fell on the floor and simply vanished into thin air. HOW DO THEY DO THAT?? It vanished?? How is that possible? Shudder....god knows where he'll show up next.
I would have fainted there, and then. Dammit. I would have not been able to scream as well so that my prince my come running for me on a white horese to rescue me.This is bloody BIG!!EEEEKKKs!!!
Loved it. Over here in Hawaii we have our share of large roaches. They're called B52's. And they fly.
NGIP,
Thanks so much for setting my mind at rest...NOT!!!
A
I seem to have had a spider population explosion in my house the last few days. Maybe it's all the construction to replace the water pipes under the front lawn. Not only did a little spider crawl across my computer screen last night, but his cousin dropped down to eye level from the ceiling to scare me while I was cooking dinner and his brother crawled up my pajama leg after I got into bed last night. This morning I put my arm right through a spider web erected between the paper towels and the toaster, and just now a HUGE spider walked across the wall over my desk. I AM that roommate who was no help - I can't kill them. I just stay out of the way and hope they stay out of my pajamas.
Ughhh I HATE bigs/spiders/creepy crawlies! My plan of attack used to be to vacuum them up with the hose attachment of the vacuum (after putting the wand thing on it to make it as long as possible). The problem was that I was afraid that somehow spinning around inside the vac wouldn't kill it, so then I would spray some bug spray up the hose, and then leave the hose pressed up against the wall... you know, so there was no change of anything escaping. Yikes. And no I an not exaggerating haha
bahahahah!! that is a biiig Cockroach!
That was priceless...
and YES! thank you for giving me one reason to keep that swiffer around!
You rock.
By the way, i happen to have house centipedes that travel at the speed of light, and they're creepy as hell...
wanna come over?
I was OK, squishing my face but continuing to read and then...the picture, well, I'm just glad it was at the end of the post.
this post is priceless. You are better than I, I would have just gotten a hotel room. I am deathly afraid of those fuckers.
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