Well. I'm obviously not in a position to confirm whether your sweet boy's honeymoon has ended. But I have to say that even though I wrote just yesterday about a part of me dying, when I see read that same idea in your words, a mother's words, I want to say: No no. Not true. No dying in progress. He is there, every bit of him, the essential person and soul and adored youngster you've nurtured for years.
Cells are cells. Your boy is whole.
Which I guess means: so am I. Huh. Go figure.
Martha,
I'm curious-- what is your son's TDD? That might give you some indication of where he is in relation to his honeymoon.
Our CDE informed me months ago that a boy of Joseph's age and size would typically take in 30-35 units per day.
At that time, Joseph was averaging around 12 units per day (up from 8-9 just after dx).
Over the past two months his TDD has crept up to anywhere from 15 to 21 units per day...
Also, your comment about how the disease has become "very unforgiving" seems to apply to Joseph as well. We pay dearly whenever we under bolus.
Now, to stay positive about his emergence from the honeymoon, I keep telling myself -- and Joseph -- that those crazy unexpected lows (undoubtedly the result of his pancreas kicking out a mystery dose of insulin) will be less frequent.
Cold comfort, but comfort nonetheless.
Sandra
It's not so much that the body is "unforgiving." Instead, there's no longer any way for it to help.
In some ways, it can be easier now. It's much easier knowing my pancreas isn't going to help me than wondering how much - if at all - it will.
Ugh - there simply aren't the words out there in existence to explain how badly I hate this disease.
I know there is a way to figure out if the honeymoon is over - Sandra mentions it in her comment. I know whenever we take Dani to see our endo's, they calculate how much insulin she's taking per day and calculate her weight in there and they get some funky number to tell them "where she's at". They've told us how much insulin she would be on if she were no longer in the honeymoon stage.
It's so frustrating. Some days I wish the honeymoon was over - as then we wouldn't be wondering if certain lows were the result of her own pancreas. We're constantly fluctuating with insulin doses around here - some days we do a good job (like today - hooray for me!) and other days we're not-so-good. I keep wondering if it'll be much more straight-forward when she's 100% full blown diabetic (do we use that term anymore??).
UGH! I hate it!
Hey Martha,
I think mine might be ending now, too. Keep having these unexplained highs, and my insulin-carb ratios no longer make sense. Aaargh!
I'm going to ask my CDE in a few days how you know for sure when it's over. Nothing like the real kind of Honeymoon, is it now?!
Best to you and your little guy!
- AmyT
I'm not sure about the TDD being the best indicator of a honeymoon or not. I'm a grown woman (oh my god, did I really write that??) of 26 and my TDD is between 28-35 units. But my honeymoon is definitely over. There are people with TDDs of 100 plus. I don't think the dosage is indicative so much as the jump in required insulin, i.e. going from needind 12 units to essentially doubling that, or having to seriously tweak insulin to carb ratios.
But then again, I eased out of the honeymooning stage more than 13 years ago. I don't remember much of that whole chaotic process.
I'll ask my mom.
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