I definitely agree..
I'm a web developer and spend a lot of my day in front of a computer. After times of relative isolation I find myself craving real-life interaction. I've learned to really treasure my real life social interaction and time with friends, and to make building relationships a real priority in my life. Though online interactions can be fun, hilarious, and thought provoking, the benefits pale in comparison to investing in life offline.
Like you've stated, there is very little return on the Facebook time investment. I also think that putting too much time into Myspace/Facebook can breed insecurity with way too much credence given to virtual validation. It's also very easy to become incredibly self-centered. Shakespeare said "all the world is a stage" but the current internet culture has given everyone their own little stage and audience.
Is'nt it funny that no one wants to socialise on facebook anymore?
I agree. After years of subscription, undirected social networking (as opposed to a network with a clear focal point and purpose, like DeviantART) started depressing me. As a result, I dropped my personal Facebook and Livejournal accounts.
I'll share some things I've learned with you. For one, I'm in college, and my fellow students are surprised when I'm aware of get-togethers that have been announced through Facebook, implying that they assume no other medium for communication would or could be used for such announcements. For example, I jumped into a conversation about a trip to a friend's art opening recently, and one of my other friends asked, unable to veil her utter amazement, "How do YOU know about that?" I answered, "[The host] called me on the phone. We do talk sometimes, you know."
And, heaven forbid, when I don't know about something that was mentioned on Facebook or Livejournal, people make snarky digs at me, such as, "Well, if you STILL HAD FACEBOOK/LIVEJOURNAL, you'd know," or "It's your OWN FAULT for being left out [because you deleted your accounts]." This is an attempt to place the guilt and blame on me for not having been contacted and, quite frankly, for being neglected. Is it really my fault for only being accessable in ways that require a little effort and some direct interpersonal communication? Apparently many of my peers would say "yes."
These people have my cellphone number. My other contact information is listed publicly through our college's website. I don't see the justification for the comment, "But it's so hard to get in touch with you now." My conclusion is that most of my college peers are lazy, socially avoidant, and apparently believe that the diminished quality of social interaction on Facebook still counts as relationship maintenance.
I was like that too, once. Part of my dropping these networks was a way to force myself to put more effort into contacting the people that I truly care about. It has worked so far, and I am much happier this way.
I totally agree. I am younger and in highschool and I just don't see the point. Its not like I am antisocial or something. I think we all spend a little too much time on the computer when we could be outside or actually helping someone.(that statement is not directed towards people who do their work onlinr) Anyway, I just wanted to put my two cents in.
Hello Matt!
Thank you VERY much for your insightful post! It helped me to write summary of burning problems of social networking.
You can read it here on my blog:
http://bloodcarter.wordpress.com...rning-problems/
Thank you again.
Take care,
Vlad
Matt, thanks for exposing Facebook for the time waster that it is. I always thought you were one of the bright ones!
I absolutely agree. I thought I was one of the odd ones out who just never thought much about the social networking sites... If we think about it, how did we keep in touch with people when there was no internet??? Those relationships have still lasted over decades. Facebook just makes everything so unrealistic... I have never been on Facebook, so i'm not sure about the virtual shares. But I've heard my friends talk about some silly pokes and gifts they send to people.
I personally am very happy with msn and gmail. Atleast your lives are not an entertainment for everyone to talk and gossip about.
Your Number 3 is my main reason for not liking facebook. There seems to be something deep down that bothers me about the interactions on facebook. I have been trying to figure out what it is and I think it's the shallow emptiness of it. I can't bear to hear another "you look great!" or "OMG your kids are so cute and I can't believe how big they are!" blah blah blah...it's nausiating. I think in person interactions are so much richer and meaningful as you've mentioned. It really is time to make time and step away from the computer and go back to basics 
Just my 2 cents...
I totally agree with this and I thought I was the only person on the planet that feels this way (you are made to feel this way if you don't FACEBOOK!) I have a home phone, cell number, skype and email, I don't need ANOTHER form of contact. As for the facebook 'friends' they are not friends and never will be! I cherish my friendships and make a real effort to keep in contact by phone, meeting FACE TO FACE, email etc...it is much much more rewarding. I don't facebook, I FACE TO FACE!
Hi.
I totally agree with this post. I'm 19 and I guess Im part of the age group that 'diggs' these internet social networks. However, I really don't.
Sure I had Myspace and a Facebook but I've deleted them since 2008. Why do I want to keep in contact with people who only add me so it ups there friend stats? Why do I want to know and have people know about me who beat me up/made fun of me for being smart in high school? I think people get a little caught up in thinking they're popular in real life just because they have 'friends' on facebook. Someone, for example, (though I'm not so low as to spell out a full name isn't that right Cabigail Claxton???)kicks me and acts like Gods honest so and so towards me and then ahs the audacity to ask if I can be her facebook pal. I say no more. Sure I can say no but it bugs me that people like that can still contact you in this way. My heart goes out to the bullied because these networking sites are prime targets to the vulnerable victims out there.
In all honesty theres alot of people I ain't gonna miss from my high school and college days and when I go to uni I'm going to make true friends that last a lifetime. What will I need most during university and being away from home? Reliable, friendly, fun real people who I can communicate with face to face.
It's all well to get a smile/poke/hug in the virtual world but doesn't that make your friendship no more than another RPG? Well, if you're into Warhammer...
Well, I must say, I wholeheartedly agree with your post. I find it extremely time consuming and do I really feel the need to throw a sheep at someone I don't even know properly but has found me on the blimmin' thing???
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