Is there really a day for blessing pets?
Veronica -- Hey there! Yes, there is actually. I think it's St. Francis' feast day (that would make sense), but I might be wrong about that. You can bring your pets and the priest will bless them.
God bless, Maureen
Once again, its funny...because its true. Incidentally, I think I've met Fr. Bannion ;-.
Wow! That guy that went to Starbucks sounds a lot like the fella that came for ashes last night at my parish!
Holy Orders did not even make the list. I guess there have been too many hand puppet homilies.
"... 'Ashes' Named Favorite Catholic Sacrament"
I thought you were talking about that crappy, heretical song "Ashes" - a "sacrament" where we get to "rise again from ashes to create ourselves anew".
I didn't know "Ashes" was a sacrament? I thought I knew all seven....hummm. It's a sub-sacrament right?
I am still not entirely convinced that these articles aren't true...
Dear Maureen -
Clearly the ABC-News/Washington poll was rigged; the hard evidence is that Confession, er Reconciliation is the most popular. To wit: parking places are impossible to find during the ten minutes Confession, er Reonciliation, is offered in our Diocese. I'll take that kind of hard evidence over any poll, even a rock-hard scientific one (such as Catholic Blog Awards).
And the Sacrament of Annulment didn't make the list either. Clearly, something is wrong here.
OOPS - I see that Annulment did make the list - but I'm still skeptical.
Very astute. Yesterday I had to send a post to the pastor of the university Catholic center near my kids' campus re the Ash Mass. After I posted it, I was informed by my daughter that as the ashes were distributed, the extraordinary ministers intoned: "Remember to be good!"
Alrighty then.
Dear Father,
I am writing to ask your advice regarding my daughter, who just called home very upset about last night. I have been around A&M all my life since my father and uncles and husband were/are all Aggies. My daughter, however, apparently just doesn't understand how important Aggie Spirit is, since she was actually distressed about the way Mass started out last night, with the salute to the BB team, the whooping, the call for louder whooping, etc. She seemed to have some ridiculous notion that the Mass wasn't "Christ-centered" enough. Worse yet, she said that her two brothers, who attended Mass with her, shared her concerns! I can't explain why they should be so stubborn and unyielding except that unlike myself all the other really intellectual Catholics, they are, sadly, not converts, but merely cradle Catholics---you know, bless their hearts, they are just SO superstitious and ignorant. Is there any way you can help me get my children's priorities straight? I did my best to teach them the War Hymn, The Spirit, The Twelfth Man and Campusology as they were growing up, but apparently they never came to understand the over-riding primacy of being an Aggie over EVERYTHING else in their lives. I'm really afraid that if they keep on the path they're on now, they may apostatize at some time in the future and become involved with another university! Can you give me any tips on how to make the Spirit of Aggieland relevant to kids who are so obsessed with Catholicism? I'm ashamed to admit it, but they really do seem to place more importance in The Mass than in Midnight Yell Practice. Thanks for listening. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the three of them may just start "church hopping" until they find one that satisfies their unreasonable desire for emphasizing the sacred. 
Gig 'em,
Mrs. Syler Womack '75
That's it. You're now bookmarked as one of my favorites. You should be proud. I found your blog by way of The Remnant who linked to your page in Crisis Magazine. By the way, your pieces smack of The Onion. Keep it up.
Um, firstly "Ashes" are NOT A SACRAMENT. This is 3rd grade Catechism folks. Secondly, the fact that the Eucharist was #3 behind "that day when we bring in our pets for blessings"...So what these so called "Catholics" are stating is that our pets being blessed is more special and enjoyable that receiving our Lord Jesus' Body, Blood Soul, and Divinity in the Eucharist..Oh Dear God, have mercy on us....Why am I not surprised then that the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) is not even on the list. Oh dear Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.
Ashes are not a sacrament of the Church. The imposition of Ashes is only a "sacramental" of the church for Christians to witness to the begining of this holy season of Lent.
When did Ashes become a sacrment. I know there are only 7 sacraments and Ashes is not one of them. Did you mean a sacramental?
Everybody knows you bless pets on St Francis day in November, sheesh what kind of Catholic are you that you don't know that?
It actually is a known fact that Ash Wednesday Mass has the highest attendance of any mass of the entire church year, it beats out Christmas or Easter. I think it has something to do with getting something for free (ashes).
Palm Sunday is right up there in the running for the same reason.
Too bad The Eucharist, and grace aren't enough to get people to come back each and every week.
Sigh!
Since when did receiving Ashes become a Sacrament? ABC needs to do their homework and get there facts straight. There are 7 Sacraments: Baptism, Confession, First Communion, Confirmation, Holy Matrimony, Holy Orders and the Annointing of the Sick. Please stop printing falsehoods.
The Protestants have what they call "CEO" Christians- Christmas and Easter Only. I've heard Catholics being accused of being "PAT"s- Palms, Ashes and Throats. In any case, I'm both amused by the (hopefully) parody of the situation ("kick-ass red lipstick? The Father at my parish I'm sure doesn't even know what Clinique is...) and appalled at the kernel of truth to it.
What a said state of affairs the Catholic Church is in: receiving ashes is NOT a sacrament. It is a sacramental. I won't bother explaining the difference because I doubt most "Catholics" care.
Hey Maureen,
I think you must have some new readers (you go girl!) becasue evidently a FEW people didn't catch the satirical thread running through this piece.
Another gem, Maureen. You had me rolling on the floor with laughter.
I suspect a lot of these newbies, such as I, came over from the link on SpiritDaily. They should've mentioned this was a parody site... I didn't even realize it wasn't real until about the third paragraph (before I actually read the sidebar).
So, it took a total of maybe 10 seconds for this blog to go on my daily reading list. I fell out of my chair (or would have if I'd been sitting in a chair) at "Sacrament of Annulment!"
The Sacrament of Bingo has always been my favorite, but I can see that it's already fallen out of favor with you Modernists. Not even a mention. For shame! See what happens we ignore our Catholic patrimony? It all goes to h-e-double-toothpicks, I tell you! I'm a Traditionalist. I'm sure the SSPX still has the Sacrament of Bingo. And they have pretty robes, too. And real candles. For the Sacrament of Throats.
Ashes a sacrament? That's new to this 40 year old cradle Catholic. Learn something new everyday, eh?
Mrs. Womack, your letter is brilliant! I hope you really sent it off.
Maureen like Mel Gibson you need a serious lesson in Catechism l01. Receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday is not a Catholic Sacrament of which there are seven St. Francis de Sales remarked that suffering could be considered the eighth
Okay, folks, this is a PARODY site. I'm sure that most Catholics (the ones that practice and try to live the Faith) know that distribution of the ashes on Ash Wednesday is not a sacrament.
However, this is a baffling thing - Our small rural parish church is normally about1/2 to 3/4 full on a Sunday morning. However, on Ash Wednesday the parish office phone rang all day with unknown people asking when 'Ashes' was. That evening the church was standing room only, even in the choir loft and the back area of the church. There were people there receiving the ashes AND the Holy Eucharist that had never been there before and were decidedly unsure of what to do or how to act.
On the one hand it is GOOD for people to come to Mass. But on the other it is probable that they don't intend to ammend their ways and do not even have a concern about the non-practice of the Faith. For all intents and purposes they are 'once-a-year-Catholics' who practice superstition and 'the world' rather than the true Catholic faith. It is very disheartening. Lord, have mercy! We need to pray in reparation, and pray for the gift of strong, true faith, and the grace of total conversion for ourselves and the whole world.
JMJ
Hello,
I realize this is a parody website. Nonetheless, as a practising Catholic, I feel obliged to explain what sacraments are. A sacrament constitutes of 3 matters:
- an outward sign
- instituted by Christ
- to convey/give grace
7 Holy Sacraments of the Catholic Church:
1) Baptism
2) Holy Eucharist (Jesus not just a symbol; He is present body and blood, soul and divinity, in the appearance of bread and wine. When the priest consecrates {he elevates the bread in the paten and the wine in the chalice and prays the words of the consecration} the bread and wine, these 2 species, are turned into the Body and Blood of Christ. During consecration, the Priest acts In Persona Christi, in the Person of Christ)
3) Confirmation
4) Penance/Confession
5) Holy Matrimony
6) Holy Orders (Male priests ONLY)
7) Last rites/Extreme Unction/Anointing of the Sick
#1, 2, 3, make up the Sacraments of Initiation into the Catholic Church. In order to receive the Holy Eucharist, one must be in a state of grace, meaning not in a state of mortal sin (when you break any one of the 10 Commandments). When you've committed a venial sin, these sins are forgiven during mass, during the penitential rite (when you say 'I confess to Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters...). To be in a state of grace, you have to receive the Sacrament of Penance/Confession from a priest.
I'm not trying to be overzealous or boasting. Just want to share my faith with others. There's so much beauty in the Catholic Church that even I myself, am still learning.
Most of these info can be found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc.htm, an online CCC, for those who do not have a hard copy of it.
I hope that helps.
http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc.htm
Hi Seeker & Jared -- That is interesting that you may know two of the people from this breaking news story!
Jay - Perhaps that song could be the theme song for this news story.
Lucy, Linda, Maggie and Angela -- Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Jackie, Wanda, Paroclus -- Welcome! I am glad you enjoy the blog. Please come back.
Winston -- Wow, imagine having one of my favorite literary characters visiting me on my blog like this. Tell Orwell I said thanks for sending you here.
Syler - I like the letter! LOL
God bless, Maureen
JVoitus, Glenn, Tom, Veronica, Melanie, Diana, Kimby and Donna -- Hello, and welcome to the blog. Take a look around at some of the other stories I've posted and please read my profile to the right. It will tell you a lot abou the blog. Please visit again!
God bless, Maureen
Re: "Ashes" What a bunch of baptized pagans expressing what little they know about sacraments in general and the symbolism of "Ashes" in particular.
Maureen,
I think you and the Wittenburg Door should find each other... better suited than Crisis, more tasteful than The Onion.
Naomi
Hi Jan -- Thanks for stopping by. Come back again.
Hi Naomi -- Actually, I've been published in The Door before. Since I'm Catholic and Crisis is a Catholic pub, it's a better match.
God bless, Maureen
"Ashes" named favorite Catholic Sacrament ???
--- Ashes on Ash Wednesday is not even a Sacrament !!!
Get your knowledge straight !!!
Hi Jeanne-Mance - Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Be sure to read my complete profile to the right. It should explain a lot. Come back again!
God bless, Maureen
Oh man, I'm not sure what's funnier, your article or the comments from the clueless LOL
I used that picture on my blog too. Should we be paying royalties? heh.
Well, the popular vote may go to "Ashes" but as we all know, the most important "Sacrament" is the installation of a new parish DRE.
I gave up being an ass for Lent, so I'll refrain from commenting on the obtuseness of some of those responding to this PARODY.
Hey Jenn -- My husband loved your comment.
Amy -- Great, just when I thought my scruples had subsided. Thanks for swinging by.
Der Tommissar -- We'll have to ask RC Mommy what that meant for her.
Jay -- My mom liked your comment. Moms like you, don't they?
Maureen
Moms like you, don't they?
Growing up, yeah. They wanted me to date their daughters. Too bad their daughters always wanted me for a "buddy".
Oh, and there's one major exception to moms liking me: my mother-in-law can't stand me.
Are you all sure there are only seven? Can't we add sacraments when they are needed? There is sacrament that allows priests to get married now -- Laissez faire or Laissez bon temps rouler -- something like that. Times change, needs change. You know what I mean?
Jay, how long do you think that penance will last?
And your mother-in-law has great taste in men.
I still agree that Bingo should have made the list of sacraments. It still is one at my parish, just try to schedule ANYTHING on Monday night and see what will happen.
I had a priest call them the "A&P" Catholics: Advent and Pentecost. I like the other acronyms, though.
Surprisingly, our parish was about as full on Ash Wednesday evening as it is for any other Sunday or even Holy Days of Obligation. Even the Haugh can't keep them away! In spite of some heterodoxy from the pulpit, we actually have a core of pretty orthodox people. A friend of mine said that maybe God does that to protect things.
In the meantime, we need to keep parishes with heterodoxy in our prayers. Lots of us assenting Catholics with dissenting clergy are just patiently waiting things out.
Maureen, I have to commend you for the gentle way you have handled all the newbies who didn't understand your articles. You are much more gracious than I would have been, and I am in awe of how kind you were to them all.
God bless you.
"And your mother-in-law has great taste in men."
I'm not sure how to take that.
OMG!! Hilarious! Annulement as the #4 sacrament has me lol!! What's sad is that half my friends won't even get the joke.
Great blog!! I'll definately be back!
Hey Fannie -- From the comments and emails I am getting, I gather there are only seven.
Maggie -- I will research that bingo thing.
Christine -- Thanks. Well, I think most people had good intentions in trying to explain the sacraments, even though I know the real ones. In addition, I couple of the links that brought them here did not explain that the story was satirical, which is why I urged them to read my profile.
Jay -- I am sure Angelmeg meant only the best.
Lazywife - Welcome and come back!
Maureen
Unfortunately in my Pittsburgh parish the sacrament of the distribution of ashes is no longer valid. My parish recently substituted ashes from palms fired in commercial dryers for the ones crafted by nuns, which we had been using for over 50 years (the same brand used by the Vatican incidentally). The new ashes do not leave the proper coloration behind nor do they adhere to the skin. As a result of the new ash brand we no longer receive an image of the cross on our foreheads. As it is this specific form that confers the blessing of the ashes on us, the small, shapeless smudge we now receive has invalidated my favorite sacrament! The words are still spoken correctly but without the proper ashes it is just a sham. Our local newspaper picked up the story after a group of us from the parish expressed our outrage. After doing a little research they discovered that our parish only saves a few dollars a year by making the switch to the commercially produced ashes. I cannot believe that I give money to this church every week and they would ruin this sacrament to save such a small amount of money!
Well, the popular vote may go to "Ashes" but as we all know, the most important "Sacrament" is the installation of a new parish DRE.
We'll have to ask RC Mommy what that meant for her.
Ummm...I didn't get installed. I have never heard of a DRE getting installed. No one knew who I was for the first 6 months I was here (not even one of the priests!). I liked it better that way.
I cannot believe that I give money to this church every week and they would ruin this sacrament to save such a small amount of money!
Well, as a friend of mine once said, "Nothing is too tacky for God."
Hilarious and perfect insight! So glad I found this blog.
For several years as a young adult I was fallen away, but by God, I was at Ash Wednesday mass every year. Don't know what it is about those ashes...
I don't think I mentioned that your site is satirical in my link, but I did hint at it by saying that, sadly, some people really think this way. But after reading it, I would have hoped that people would poke around and try to figure it out. I found you from a link from Jeff Miller (to the EME article), and at first I was thinking that you were insane. Then I realized that it was SO outrageous it had to be satire.
Unfortunately, not everyone likes or gets that kind of thing. My friend told me that I was going to cause scandal by telling people in our Catholic Homeschool Co Op to BYOB because my four year old doesn't share her tequilla. My sister in law's jaw dropped so hard I heard it over the phone when I told her my girls were doing well - down to just four beatings a day.
I always figured that if I said something REALLY outrageous, people would HAVE to know I was kidding...it doesn't always work, though. I've managed to insult some family members who didn't know me very well by saying outrageous stuff about being the "little woman" and stuff. Anyone who knows my hubby and I at all just laughs that stuff off.
Hysterical. I am bookmarking your site. Thanks for the laughs.
Oh man, I'm not sure what's funnier, your article or the comments from the clueless LOL
That's easy... The outrage of the new readers. BTW, welcome all of you 
Should I laugh or cry? The funny thing is that Ash Wendsday is one of those days that everyone thinks is a Holy day of obligation, but isn't.
Commenting by HaloScan
