They should have said "Cross-eyed Ape Head Packaging." or so it seems to me.
Jay from Tennessee | Email | 02.23.06 - 7:14 am | #

The Ape Head should go on adventures with the Barbie Primp & Posh Styling Head and my favorite, the Hunchback Esmerelda Styling Head. They could all do each others' hair and make-up, watch some Chuck Heston, then ride the Barbie Magic of Pegasus Groom & Glam Styling Head into the sunset. Well, if any of them had bodies.
Cole Moore Odell | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 8:40 am | #

I am filled with a profound and disturbing longing for those plush spider slippers... THEY MUST BE MINE!
Melissa Gay | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 8:46 am | #

Now we know the reason why DVD was invented.
Ian Brill | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 8:46 am | #

Yes, this is the killer ape killer app for the DVD format.
Cole Moore Odell | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 8:55 am | #

"Know what to kiss.....and when."

Perhaps the most important advice ever given. Thank you, National Lampoon!
Bill Doughty | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 9:23 am | #

At least the Transformers Matrix, which better light my darkest hour for $175, is something it makes sense to replicate.

I remember thinking when I saw the Cobra Commander replica gun for $350(?) of how many real handguns were much cheaper, more useful, and more fun.
Chaz Ervin | 02.23.06 - 9:26 am | #

I can't believe Mike doesn't know what it is. For God's sake man, do yourself a favor and rent the Transformers movie! Megatron was never any more bad-ass than when he (finally) beats the ever loving crap out of the Autobots. And Unicron? Totally sweet! Seeing Starscream finally get his comeuppance? Priceless. And probably the best 80s soundtrack ever!
Logan | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 9:58 am | #

But if I get the Matrix and can't open it, do I get a refund? Or just blown to pieces by the Sweeps for my trouble?
Tim O'Neil | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 10:02 am | #

I believe Dave Sim is working with Frank Miller on the upcoming "Batman: Bitch, Fix Me a Turkey Pot Pie!"
Dave Lartigue | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 10:08 am | #

I think for an extra 25 bucks you can get Stan Bush to come to your house to sing "The Touch" as you open The Matrix.
dwinn | Email | 02.23.06 - 10:52 am | #

I think I sort of need that POTA set.

Kristin may yet cut off the sex.
BeaucoupKevin | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 12:42 pm | #

Kevin--I wouldn't worry about lack of sex related to the Apes set. After all, what did you think the giant ape head was for?
Dorian | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 2:01 pm | #

The Gojira-head DVD set is a billion times cooler, even if [or maybe because] the movies won't play on American DVD players.
milo | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 2:34 pm | #

I must have those spider slippers! I must!
Chance | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 3:16 pm | #

"We don't deserve beauty such as this."

Damn straight. In my unimportant opinion, these movies beat the pants off of the Star Wars saga any day.
De | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 5:44 pm | #

The movies, the dumbed-down remake, the TV series and the animated series? Now, this is my idea of how a boxed set should be done.

My Superman boxed set, for instance, includes the four (make that five) feature films, the two (make that three, including Superboy) TV series, the WB cartoons, the Filmation cartoons, the Fleischer cartoons, both serials and the unsold Superboy pilot.

I've always been fond of the Klingon version of the Desiderata, which includes, "Listen to liars, even the slow and clumsy. Examples can be made of them later."

And the public-service short, "Stamp Day For Superman".

The spider slippers do things to me. I have sent a link to my sweetie.

And the Superman crossover episode of "I Love Lucy".

That Dracula movie could have been someone else's "masterpiece". but it seems to me I've heard of another film or two that Coppola guy did sometime.

Oh, and also the Margot Kidder episode of "Saturday Night Live".
Dr. Psycho | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 8:48 pm | #

.... I'm not sure if I could sleep in the same room as that box set.
THE EYES WATCH ME.
And I'd read the X-Men written by Dave Sim! It'd be a collision course ot wackiness!
carla | Email | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 10:20 pm | #

You reference "Deteriorata". Clearly, you are a man of discerning taste.

Isn't Dave Sim writing a book for Image already? Seems as if the process has already begun.
C. Elam | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 11:40 pm | #

Logan - I have a group of friends (including Evilbeard, whom you may have seen in my comments section in the past) who used to swear by this movie. Or at this movie...I forget. Anyway, as I recall the soundtrack was necessary listening for all these folks. I wasn't "in" on the Transformers thing, so they all laughed and pointed at me.

Dr. Psycho - I've never heard the Klingon version of that song...it sounds amusing. (I'll just add that to my list of sentences I thought I'd never type....)

C. Elam - Yeah, that's right, I forgot. (One Google search later...) He's working on Gun Fu in some creative capacity, and apparently has a couple one-shot thingies in the works.

It's worth following the link just to read Sim saying "wracking my brain for hip-hop phrases from back in my hip-hop clubbing days."
Mikester | Homepage | 02.23.06 - 11:55 pm | #

Watch the TF movie, Mike. Join us...
Chaz Ervin | 02.24.06 - 6:24 am | #

They really captured Freddie's Zoroastrianism!
jake saint | Email | 02.24.06 - 7:48 am | #

Those are some large, large breasts in that full page Tarot Witch of the Black Rose ad

I think you should post this image, just so your loyal readers can decide for themselves if those breasts are actually that large.

(Please!)
Just lurking | 02.24.06 - 7:52 am | #

http://www.nationallampoon.com/f...ta/ default2.asp
Randy | Email | 02.24.06 - 6:04 pm | #

I really, really want that Freddy Mercury figure. But it's forty dollars. But it's 18 inches tall...

I'm conflicted.
Chris | Homepage | 02.24.06 - 6:21 pm | #

The Transformers movie probably makes more sense if you're all hopped up on sugar and caffeine.

It does have Leonard Nimoy, Orson Welles, Robert Stack, and the guy who can talk really really fast in it, which is not something most films can boast.

And dammit, now I have that song running through my head.

You've got the touch!
You've got the power!
DougBot | Homepage | 02.26.06 - 1:06 am | #