well a little known fact about Baron von Kool-Aid is that he can hold his form outside of the pitcher (his hands and legs are indeed not encased at all) and could therefore hop out, form around wolverine, and drown him. However, Ultimate Wolverine cannot be drowned, as his powers run on pure unfiltered bullshit.
Josh | Email | 09.09.06 - 12:46 am | #

Crap, I hate to give it to him, but I think Wolverine wins this one.

Stupid "made out of glass" thing.
Brian Cronin | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 1:53 am | #

In the battle between Wolverine and the Kool-Aid Guy...

Why, everyone wins.
Bully | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 2:38 am | #

This obsession with Wolverine is getting worrying now...
Martin Wisse | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 3:24 am | #

If the Kool-aid was Admantium eating Acid Wolvie might have problems...
Darren | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 4:24 am | #

That is one disturbing Wolverine picture. Yoiks what a face. Anyway the coolaid dude wins in a walk off.
Brett | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 5:34 am | #

Kool Aid Guy - Kool Aid rusts adamantium.
Gordon | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 6:10 am | #

Wolverine uses his claws to burst Kool Aid Man's pitcher; KAM dies, spilling his fluid all over Wolverine, covering him with a sticky sweet sugary ichor. This attracts a hive of nearby bees to Wolverine, who unwisely tries to fight them off. The bees repeatedly sting Wolvie, and before his healing factor can kick in, he breaks out with itchy, painful welts. Logan then tries to scratch himself--with his adamanteum claws!--slicing himself to death.

So, both die, and as Bully says, we all win!
Dave Carter | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 6:27 am | #

That pitcher ISN'T glass.
Can glass smash thru brick walls?

I say thee nay!

It is mystically empowered...and he is neigh unstoppable!

He is the Thirsty-Man's JUGGERNAUT and NOTHING can stop him!

All he'd have to do is STAND there, let Wolverine attempt to claw him, watch the sparks from the effort fly off in a shower of futility... and then, when Wolvie has utterly spent himself, is dehydrated and parched with thirst... Wolverine will ask for a drink...

...AND IT SHALL BE DENIED HIM!

In a vain attempt at survival, Wolvie will strive to drink deep of the glorious elixer that IS Kool-Aid Man. Yet, he will be unable to do so for himself, seeing as how he's a 5'3" runt and can't reach the top of the pitcher for the sweet, sweet, life-giving nectar inside.

Wolvie passes out and KOOL-AID MAN reigns SUPREME!!!!

uh...I think I might need to get out of the hot sun.

HEY!
KOOL AID!!!!!

*CRAASHH!*

"OH, YEAH!!!!"

AHHHHHH....My hero!

~P~
P-TOR
SanctumSanctorumComix | 09.09.06 - 6:29 am | #

Can't they just be friends? I've got a couple of Hostess Fruit Pies here with their names on them.
Daniel85 | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 6:44 am | #

Martin --- that was true about four Wolverine-theme posts ago.

Mike --- I think you should make that Wolverine picture your next avatar.
Chance | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 6:56 am | #

But...where's the love?
aaron | Email | 09.09.06 - 7:43 am | #

If this is the same Kool-Aid man from that one Alan Moore story in Hate (I think), he takes it NO PROBLEM.

Wolverine's just another wall he's gotta smash through today.
Chris Sims | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 8:04 am | #

Ummmm...poor Wolvie! He looks as though he has constipation AND diarhhea! Nothing a little Koolaid
can't cure however.
Sally P | 09.09.06 - 8:13 am | #

Don't forget that Kool-Aid Man can regenerate his body from a single drop of flavored drink-mix.
Blockade Boy | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 8:19 am | #

For a real battle, though, you gotta wait for Kool-Aid vs. Swampy.
Ron | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 8:29 am | #

Actually, upon further research, Kool-Aid guy's a wimp.
Bully | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 9:52 am | #

kool aid man should win!
Aaron | 09.09.06 - 9:55 am | #

Kool-Aid man wins; even a lameass writer's avatar like Wolverine would seriously pick a fight with a man full of Kool-Aid. Kool-Aid Man vs. Arnim Zola would be an interesting-looking fight, though.
milo | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 10:30 am | #

wouldn't pick a fight, that is.
milo | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 10:31 am | #

If someone painted Wolverine to look like a wall, Kool-Aid Man could burst out of Wolverine, killing Wolvie instantly.
Jon Hendry | Email | 09.09.06 - 1:07 pm | #

Did Wolverine ever fight Man-Thing (Giant-Size or otherwise)?
Jon Hendry | Email | 09.09.06 - 1:09 pm | #

Wolverine wins, because Wolverine is evil enough to kill poor Kool-Aid.
stavner | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 2:15 pm | #

Kool-aid wins. Nothing beats Kool-aid. Except maybe Tang.
H | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 4:25 pm | #

I think just about anyone can defeat Kool-Aid Man, if they can survive his wall-busting super strength. Once they do, then they can drink Kool-Aid Man to death.

...unless he retains sentience as urine. Then you might be screwed.
Chad | Email | 09.09.06 - 4:53 pm | #

Where do I vote for "QUIT IT"?
tomthedog | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 7:58 pm | #

Also: H said "Tang." Hee hee!
tomthedog | Email | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 7:59 pm | #

oh mike, could you please do more posts on wolverine, i just can't get enough!!!
Josh | Email | 09.09.06 - 9:31 pm | #

Josh - YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.
Mikester | Homepage | 09.09.06 - 11:07 pm | #

Wolverine punches a hole, we mix it with vodka, all's good.
Cully Callaway | Email | 09.10.06 - 11:07 pm | #

I think it would depend on who gets to use the kryptonite light saber.
Eddie Mitchell | Email | Homepage | 09.11.06 - 5:51 am | #

When I was younger...it would have been wolvie but now it would have to be the Kool-Aid Man. The more I see Wolverine (which is EVERYWHERE) the more I wish Marvel would just give it a rest. I used to like him...I'm over it.
Christopher | Homepage | 09.11.06 - 11:21 am | #

I think the real battle is Kool-Aid Man versus... Blockade Boy! Is BB just another victim, or will the walls of the world finally revenge themselves?
Martin Allen | 09.12.06 - 8:35 pm | #

Kool Aid Man in a rout - no doubt about it. KAM has a kick arse battle cry, while Wolverine just has a scary face.

The real battle should be between KAM and the Thing. Who has the best battle cry? Now that's a tough one.
Bud | Email | 09.17.06 - 6:19 pm | #