you SHOULD be sorry for the horrible caption this winner!
really, its raining here for the 850th day and I have nothing else to look forward to...
that whore is smiling about it.....what a skank
Why doesn't that loser have any shoes?
Fighting to take her picture? Is she smiling at them?
Shut your holes anon! I'm having a mid-life crisis! And I'm only gonna live to be 45 so my mid-life is right now!
What's your crisis MK?
Szig, I'm just have an awful day with the weather and everything. I can't wait for happy hour where I can drink my troubles away!
You should invite Kenny over for a saran wrap orgy!!
Last Saturday I got dumped. And then on Monday my uncle was at O'Hare about to catch a flight and he had a heart attack and died right there at the terminal. And today the guy who dumped me is going to be presenting on a panel that is going to be moderated by this other chick who was totally trying to steal him away from me this summer. And this weekend he is moving back in with his wife (from whom he has been separated for nearly 6 months so don't call me a homewrecker, I didn't even know him then). And I haven't done a lick of work all week. Just stuffed my mouth with chocolate, sobbed, and watched lots of bad tv. Does that make you feel any better?
Aww sorry MK, for reals. However, you should know that you are actually suffering a QUARTER-life crisis, and it's very common! I like so had mine when I turned 25. But it's Friday, and the cocktails are just a couple hours away! Kisses!
Awww Szig, no! It makes me feel bad! Because now I feel bad for you. Let's both go out, get wasted, party like Tara Reid and get arrested. That will totally take our mind off of things, because we'll be too busy protecting our assholes from thugs!
I TOLD YOU PEASANTS TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THE RICH BEAUTIFUL FABULOUSLY WEALTY AND FAMOUS MS. PARIS HILTON. YOU FAT UGLY TOOTHLESS TRAILER TRASH WHORES REALLY DO NEED TO GET A LIFE.
BYE BYE NOW AND DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TOOTH!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so there bitch! that's hot!
Damn Szig! I thought I had problems...I will have an additional drink tonight for both you and MK 
It's ok MK...we all still lov u! And you too Szig u need sum love!
That totally made my day.
Cheer-up MK, the sun's coming back out this weekend. And this week it's gonna be all sunny and near 70 degrees! (Well at least until Thursday!)
Letterman Monologue Last Night:
"The flooding has become so bad here in NYC that I just saw a family of three clinging to JLo's Ass!"
Or something to that effect!
Thanks Get_Lucky! Yeah I know it's Friday I just can't wait to get my drink on!
Szig is a homewrecker.
Yep. I got nothing this time.
MK I'm a hick so tonight is Pumpkin Beer night...we have pumpkin flavoured beer and get wasted and walk around downtown. yeah. i'm a hick, I said it. I love you like a beard loves Tom Cruise MK
Paris is one chick that got hit with the ugly stick.
You guys want to talk about problems, I found out my dad has cancer, my mom had a breakdown, my grandma is going senile, I have a thesis paper due by tonight that I have not even started,the man I am desperatly in love with has a wife and I can't get this geeky tech guy off my back. But I don't want to wallow in my self-pitty, how is everyone else's day going?
she is totally looking richie skinny in that pic
I just found out how I'm going to die 
Check it:
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up.
If anyone else is interested:
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/
Some of them are kind of funny...a little morbid I know but lets type in Paris Hilton for shits and giggles...wanna?
Ohmygod, you are all making me so depressed - I was sad cause I haven't taken a shit in 2 days and been sober for 5! Thanks for making my day, gonna take some exlax with Beer tonite.
What the hell? Mine says "A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a pitchfork" That geeky Tech guy works at Home Depot...
I'm scared.
Christ Lola, from the way So There Bitch sounds it seems they haven't had a shit in a month! Someone needs a big fat dick........
Hilton works best:
While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.
SHUT UP LO YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR ONE GREEN TOOTH IS GETTING LOOSE.
pixie if that stuff is true i'm sorry
lol I'm going to get kicked in the back at a sporting event by an angry fan and tumble to my death!
LOL at Sarah's Here's my ex's:
Your unrelenting heckling of a prop comic drives him to beat you to death with a toilet seat.
Don't worry Pixie...it's not true. But I would definitely run if I saw him come in with a pitchfork 
Hahahahaha STB! Thats so hot - you're right! My one green snaggletooth is getting loose and I'm going to mail it to you along with Lola's 2 day old shit! Happy Halloween!
So Micheal why is your day going so bad did you forget to bring the K-y and the fit was to tight!!!!
Thanks Sarh, yes unfortunatly my thesis paper is due by tonight, which means I can't go out tonight. :-( As for all the other stuff, I am sure it well all work out for the best. I try not to focus on all the negativity.
Hahaha! My death psyhic says:
While in a parking lot, you accidentally get into a car which looks like yours, but isn't. Unfortunately, the car is rigged with a bomb, and you suffer an explosive death intended for someone else.
Thats so hot!
Damn Pixie I didn't see ur other message about ur problems. I'm sorry about that. Everything will be ok. My dad just had a triple bypass and my mom almost had a nervous breakdown. Stay positive
aww you're a strong gal. i can't relate, but my car broke down twice last week and i cried and gained 5 lbs. if that helps?
Oh shit. . .mine said the same as PH's! ewww. . .I can't stand her. . .but it prolly is true for me to die falling down drunk.
Boy, this has been a rough thread! I guess it is true, all the good ones are married or gay.
Hang in there ladies! We'll regroup Monday and tear into some more celebrity trash!
A gas leak in your home causes a major explosion, killing you in the blast.
NICE!!!
That's what my daddy told me once, and he never did make it up to me and now I'm just bitter.
Sarah, I gained 7 pounds in this week alone and I even monitered my fat intake. Guess I should lay off the booze.
And Get Lucky don't get me started on why all the good men are gay or married. We'll be here all night.
You bitches are really hot and I thank you for your kind words. But more importantly, where's the hooch?!
mine is during a severe storm a tree will crash onto my house and kill me instantely. Thanks fakey.
Mk I loves you, come over to my house I've got lots of hooch.
Well good luck on the paper you're writing, and save some of that anger for Monday, PixieGaf!
If you are anywhere near the northeast, you ain't missing much by staying in. The rain is relentless!
When did paris turn into a 12 year old boy?
Paris said she'd give a bj to the winner.
I was just told to cancel my vacation for next week!!! No shit. OK so no one died, but it still makes for a really shitty day.
STB made me laugh though. So did Betty.`
I want some pumpkin beer.
And some pepto, cuz I'm farting like hell after my lunch.
Holy crap Plague, I want some of that, where do you get Pumpkin beer at?
why's that girl trying to pull off Paris' dress?
While walking to your car after visiting a friend in a rather bad part of town, you are caught in the middle of a drive-by shooting. You are hit several times in the chest. You watch as blood pours from your body as you fall to the ground. You die from massive blood loss.
Sarah brought it up earlier...
But I get it at Cost Plus Imports.
You can only really tell it's punkinny from the aftertaste.
Maybe I'll have a few before I go see TURBONEGRO tonight.
I asked you about the Pumpkin beer not Sarah, but anyway I've never heard of Cost Plus Imports is it a local or national chain?
Yes, Cost Plus is a chain. Maybe it's only West Coast though... But I've also seen it has high class supermarkets.
Here, the Cost Plus stores are called World Market. You find these stores in the newer big-box strip malls.
World Market! Cool, I have one of those stores here. Thanks Paula. I'm getting myself some Pumpkin Beer tonight.
I have anxiety attacks and am afraid of going out to my porch. I'm mental, if it makes anybody feel better.
Aly have you been diagnosed with Agoraphobia yet? You might want to look into that.
Yeah, along with, like, 90 other phobias! I take 10 pills a day for that shit! I'm only 16!
I am studing to be a psychologist, so take my advise at your own risk. You should really look into cognitive behavior theapy before relying on your pills. Not that pills don't work but I think so many psychiatrist are pill-happy if you know what I mean. Behavior modification really does work.
What the hell's that?
LOL Sorry. Its basically group therapy, which can teach you to get over your fears.
Micheal K, I had a pissy day today too. I guess this was piss day. I had a margarita swirl during lunch hour...ha! think my boss noticed since I came back to the office yelling at her for asbolutely no reason? It's okay she and one of the other bosses bought beer and shit back to the office to drink.
Happy days to everyone
Aly, anti-anxiety meds can help you get to a level of comfort to enable leaving your house to attend therapy. As Pixie advised, cognitive therapy does work in either private or group sessions. Also look into EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). A registered counsellor authorized in this therapy can work wonders to re-wire your brain. Also try meditation and eating a sensible diet. Above all else, be kind to yourself. Self-criticism is a terrible thing we do to ourself and is only damaging. Chin up sweetie and good luck on getting well. "Its the intensity of the longing that does all the work" (zen saying)
Ffleur thats some good advise, are you studing psychology as well?
So many smart people! Thanks!
Pixie, alas no. Personal experience.
PARIS IS ONE UGLY CHICK. GET A NOSE JOB BITCH, IT IS ONE HOOKY UGLY NOSE.
who is this other girl? there is "of course" paris, bijou and?... thankss!!!
Paparazzi are dumb. Really dumb, since they are actually fighting for that skanky ho.
Bijou phllips forehead is so BIG you could land a freaking plane or park an 18 wheeler truck on it!!! 
paris aint any better looking either.
WTF, because they have famous parents, good for them, it does not make them automatically hot. Nikki Hilton is not that great either. I see better looking women just anywhere, anytown,USA. There is'nt anything special about any of these ugly cicks.
I like paris i dont think she is the most beautiful girl out there but, but she is ok. she needs to fix her nose though.
you guys should just please leave her alone, wat did she ever do to you. i think you are all jelous of her. she is not beautiful but she is rich and has a lot of money and she can look nice when she fixes up except for her nose. leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave leave her be1111!!!!!!!!!!!
i want you to leave her be
I also think paris hilton is more prettyier than grace kelly. so there loosers!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!! you guys are all so mean to her. she never did anything to u.
"she is not beautiful but she is rich and has a lot of money and she can look nice when she fixes up except for her nose"
-well fucking congratulations paris.
"I also think paris hilton is more prettyier than grace kelly. so there loosers!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!"
-I thynk thet 2nd gradeers speel beter than yuo so there looser!!!1!
"leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave her be leave leave her"
-if people "let her be" she would kill herself. its not like paris was walking down the street, casually saving orphans and curing cancer and the mean ol' paparazzi jumped all over her. she whored herself out. she can take it.
Curiously, Kyle, have you ever actually SEEN a picture of the late Grace Kelly when she was young like Paris? If you think Paris "big schnooze" Hilton is "prettyier," (please learn to spell), than Grace Kelly was, young or old. You are f*****g delusional.
For future reference, it is spelled prettier, not “prettyier” you fool. You are a stupid illiterate idiot, no wonder you are a Paris Hilton fan.
Grace Kelly was fucking beautiful, WTF is wrong with you? No comparison between hag face Hilton and Grace Kelly.
Paris H. wishes she looked 1/1,000,000th as good as GK did. Fuckin retarded post.
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