Matt Damon was arrested yesterday after posing as a Cardinal, entering the field, and molesting several players.
He has released this statement concerning the event.
"I like cock."
Hey bud, feel like a hot dog after the game? Oh, I see you already got one in there.
My bad!! I thought you said grab the BABY batter!!
America's past time is crotch grabbing?
This is why Kenny Chesney is a baseball fan.
Reason #441 why Robbie Williams now lives in America.
Got wood?
Tom Cruise called the clubhouse earlier... he wanted me to let you know he was thinking of you...
batter up
Is that a bat in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Maybe later you could give me a performance-enhancing injection.
You've got 1 strike and two balls, get back up there.
Gee, Jason, now I know why they call you slugger!
wirthy, fun-ny.
they may be as gay as a priest, but at least they aren't pedophiles too.
Dude..my dick is much larger than yours,I'm telling u..
hmm..lemme see..yea..I think you might be right..
Oh, my hotdog has a first name...
Nice try sweetheart. Now let me be batter.
Don't worry man, its not that hard. No one will notice.
I knew it !!!
Joy, I like your avatar. Is it a specialty doll?
Yeah she was originaly a Blythe doll. This super cool chic from Spain customizes Blythe dolls, You can check out her work at blythe t.k. she auctioned her off on ebay I was bidding on her but some bitch in England beat me out 
She sold for $800.00. She was orginaly Blythe Lounging Lovely $89.00. Sorry I went on and on I collect these dolls, I love them so much.
sorry it's WWW.BLYTHE.TK
"Is that a big hard dick in yer pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
Shop!
Joy, I just googled and read about the doll. She is adorable! Do you have an original with the changing eye colour?
Dude, that's not a rosin bag!
yes I have Blythe 'Silver Snow, Pinafore Purple, Hollywood Blythe, Milk Blythe, Art Attack and more.All blythe dolls eyes change color with a pull string in the back from pink blue grren and brown, some vary like my CWC Blythes those are limited to 2000 world wide they have special colors. Some girl can cusomize them take theeye chips out and make 'custom blythes' like Picara from Spain.
obviously photo shopped. what does the original pic look like?
Some chicks are kinda psycho about these dolls though, really, there are thousands of sites dedicated to them, the craziest collecter is ar blastmilk.com.
.....and its one! two! Let your cock out at the OLD...BALL....GAME!!!!!!
Baby, I told you to keep your eye on the ball.
Yer OUT!!! (of the closet that is)
lol true.
"Hey man, I TOLD you not to tease me about how big my ass looks in these pants! Got that?"
Saram23, why do you have a picture of Jordan's disabled son?
The Cardinals manager cringed as he realized he forgot to specify which balls the newly-created "Ball Handler" position would actually be working with.
Cup check!
After gangbanging Courtney Love the previous night, the player's felt each other up, making sure everything was intact.
I want you inside me!
Good boy, keep it up.
BALL!
You got a big cock, I got a bubble butt. Maybe we should....
"how do like them apples?"
These constant steroid checks have gotten ridiculous.
Every great baseball player has simultaneous rolled over in their grave. They knew better than to grab the wrong bat.
"Good catch!"
"The team has been a lot happier since Johnny moved to infield."
Let me ask you one question... if you were a hot dog... would you eat yourself?!
Hey babe, how about giving me a line drive in my Pujols with that bad boy ya got there?
(too bad that Pujols isn't in this pic. My caption might actually be funny then)
Every team has at least one pitcher and one catcher on it.
Not a caption, just a comment about Blythe dolls-- hey jd, did you ever have Blythe dolls as a kid or did you just start liking them as an adult? I never knew they existed until seeing them on "I Love the 70's". I wonder why I never saw them when I was a kid. They are fabulous.
(I'm in a hotel room right now but after tomorrow morning I will probably not have online capability for a couple days and I'll be totally having Dlisted withdrawals, argh!)
Two Balls, Both Foul
what? steroids make me horny
"Dude, do you think you could hold off testing my balls for cancer until AFTER I've gone to bat! Geez! You do this every time!"
Go CARDS!
Oh my, and they are my team, too!
Bats & Balls inspection
Toothy Tile's, Ryan Seacrest's, Wentworth Anderson's and Anderson Cooper's dreams come true!
Mark McGuire is just making sure his fuck buddy's tool for the night was up to his standards.
Major League Baseball's version of "High Five"
"Liar! I knew you weren't wearing a cup"
I call this one the Piazza....
The Astros find a new way to surprise their players with tests for steroids.
"Dayum gurl, the front of your pants are looking FABBBBulous"
"Yup, so I'll see at Rawhide bar after the game...and DON'T be wearing this cup"
After hearing rumors his new teammate was packing 8 inches soft, McGuire inspects to see if it was really that big.
No, Paula I just discovered them like three years ago. I hope you enjoy your stay at your hotel.
I told you it was corked.
M.K. so sorry. but Paula you probably never heard of them because they only came out for one year in 1972. They totaly bombed and hasbro stopped making them. Years later a doll collecter Gina Garan started collecting these old dolls and making high fashion clothes for them, and taking pictures of them and turned them in to postcards. People went apeshit in Japan and Takara toy co. started making them again. but the originals still go for 800-2,400. no kidding. check e-bay.
Seriously, the next one better be a home run... or you know what will happen next
WTH?!
jd I didn't know the dolls were only out for one year. Yep I've seen them on Ebay, the original dolls and the new ones. I don't have any but I am tempted. I love to look at www.thisisblythe.com.
btw jd I downloaded Glass, Transmission, A Means to an End, She's Lost Control, Isolation, Twenty Four Hours, Novelty, Ice Age, Disorder, Interzone. Great stuff.
Sorry MK for the non-captions.
Can the trannies with the doll fetish shut the fuck up? you're shit belongs on the "precious moments" blog-o-matic.
Dude, pass the steriods.
baby batter up!
That ref misses all important plays!
Can i have a hotdog?
MMMMMM Yummy
"I told you last night that there's NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! Now shut up, and do what I tell you, bitch!"
squeeze my third leg and send me to third base!
Sorry - have to add to the Bythe dolls thing. I had one when they first came out. They were really cool. I was surprised they didn't catch on more.
I knew you had a sock in there!!! You liar!
The juice is under your croch ok, and remember ya didnt get from me.
Coach told Bubba to stroke Jed's ego. Well...he got it half-right.
Here feel my balls.Are my balls the same size? Really, I think one is bigger then the other one.
Cool Paula, talk to you when you come back.
"Uhhm, dude, that's not what I meant when I asked you to grab a piece of lumber for me."
I am really, really turned on by this photo.
Next time, I'M the catcher and YOU'RE the pitcher, you BIG BIG love!
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