First?
holy shit MK, that was gross, and plua u're gay!! but i don't blame u, she does look more manly than her ex
plus*
MK: please shove the Cheesy bites up her ass and in her mouth... That'll keep her busy!
I am deeply distressed by this ensemble cast; I refuse to even THINK about it! 
Is this movie a parody? Seriously? Cause if it's not, the casting will ensure it.
John REVOLTA as J.R. Ewing, the greatest villain we ever loved to hate? Geez, I had no idea J.R. loved his horses THAT much. (snicker)
What a joke! And to think they PAID some stoopid-ass producer millions of bucks to "come up with" this idea, and they'll throw millions more into the making.
I have two foreign words for Hollyweird:
ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING
what a bunch of strange casting choices...
if this is the cast, this movie will suck so badly...
"I will take that stupid Pizza Hut pizza she carries around and fuck her with it until she's shitting Cheesy Bites!"
LMAO @ MK
Hollywood has losts its originality. Everything is a fucking remake!
and they wonder why no one goes to the fucking movies anymore!
BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK CHEF'S BALLS
They are really just interchangeable vapid whores, so I don't see how it matters. Give it to whoever will do it for less.
THIS is classic hollyweird. these bitches would cut each other's throats for a part in this movie.
Iwould watch it. I loved Dallas!
All these TV-shows-turned-movies are pretty awful. Most of the original DALLAS cast members are still breathing sufficiently to reprise their roles. In fact, Patrick Duffy looks fantastic and Charlene Tilton is still fierce. She is a definite contender for "Hot Slut of the Day!"
As much as I can't stand both of them, Jessica Simpson most closely resembles the original Lucy Ewing, and yes, this movie sounds like it's going to be shitty.
what a bunch of strange casting choices...
Prophecy Grrl | 03.17.06 - 1:49 pm | #
Totally. Marcia Cross - ugh she and her forehead will never go away.
oooh MK this website is just oozing with pure evil....and I love it!!
Whoever sucks the casting director off the hardest will land the part.
MK will you video tape it for us please. 
is this idea from the same bright lights that have decided to make "Welcome Back Kotter" starring Ice Cube? What's next? "Gimme A Break" starring Beyonce? "BJ & The Bear" starring Hayden Christensen??
I agree with Bug Spray - ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING
I never thought I'd say this, but my hate for Simpon is stronger than my hate for Lohan, so go Lohan.
(at least Lohan will share her coke.)
Q.F.E. | 03.17.06 - 1:56 pm | #
That's humor!
I doubt Hohan would do this movie and John Travolta is stupid if he does it. This is along the lines of The Dukes of Hazzard, Starsky & Hutch etc. Chestica would be perfect for the train wreck that will be this stupid movie.
Or Three's Company starring Bill Cosby as Jack Tripper.....
Or Roseanne starring Rosie O'Donnell.
This movie is going to be AWFUL. It's reminding me of the remake of the Honeymooners...
Someone is taking the piss. This film is a total mess! Bill Murray is a comic genius, but he is way too young to play Jock. As someone previously pointed out, the only Latinas @ Southfork were the maids, so where does JLo come in? As for the rest of the cast, where to begin? Personally, I'd rather see;
Jock - Jack Nicholson
Miss Ellie - Judi Dench ( don't laugh, Vivien Leigh was a Brit!)
JR - Russell Crowe
Sue Ellen - Julianne Moore
Bobby - John Cusack
Lucy - Scarlett Johansson
But regardless of cast , this film is gonna suck!
Such is my hatred, I will boycott any movie that features Lindsay Lohan or Chestica Simpson. I despise LL only about an nth percent more though.
I do have to say that Chestica should be in this movie because apparantly it will suck anyways. Plus Im afraid Hohan will go blond again and thats a scary thing to look at.
The original Dallas was pretty good and it had some original ideas. Plus, the roles were cast pretty well. But this new batch of misfits? I just can't see any of this working. It's like a Mongolian clusterfuck.
LOL!! Let's do our own remakes!
Columbo, starring Orlando Bloom.
The Brady Bunch, starring the Jackson Family.
More...?
Or Seinfeld starring Chris Rock!
Only Jessica, who has a natural southern accent, could screw up a southern accent.
OMG! A cheesey fuck! Can ya tell it's Friday on D? 
Ilsa: I'm with you, love!!
Anything that makes either one $$$, I boycott.
Tom Cruise-playing a straight guy!
Tom Cruise-playing a straight guy!
anon2 | 03.17.06 - 2:04 pm | #
No, more like Tom Cruise in Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairies.
This movie is going to win the Razzie for 2007, just watch
i'll never understand the TV show to movie phenomenon.
i might see punky brewster or 60 minutes made into a movie...everything else can fuck off.
Wait a minute: ***sound of shoe dropping*** Isn't Chestica pregnant?
You know she's getting an abortion - Papa Joe wants his little moneymaker to keep shaking that T & A!
LOL MK
Doesn't Tom Cruise realize that his life would be much easier if he actually admitted that he is a homosexual? Doesn't he get that it IS ok to be gay? People would probably leave him alone if he came out.....
lmfgdao MK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love your comments!!!!!!!!
Why don't they do a black Dallas??
Miss Ellie - Missy Elliott
JR - Bill Cosby
Sue Ellen - Whitney
Bobby - Bobby Brown
Josh and Brody's daughter | 03.17.06 - 2:01 pm | #
I agree with your choices. Unfortunately, those actors probably wouldn't waste their time on a remake of Dallas. You're right, even if they did, it would still suck!
Why don't they do a black Dallas??
Miss Ellie - Missy Elliott
JR - Bill Cosby
Sue Ellen - Whitney
Bobby - Bobby Brown
Eddie Munster | 03.17.06 - 2:08 pm | #
OMG LMFAO!!!!
Ok Ok there is someone on the Carmen post who says she is a celebrity and that papa joe reads this blog. haha. Who knows if shes for real or not but she said Star Jones does too. haha.
Eddie! Genius, darling! THAT I would watch!
I hope Lindsay gets the role, she's a much better actress.
MK- You are hilarious
Or a white Cosby Show:
Dr. Huxtable - Pierce Brosnan
Claire Huxtable - Sarah Jessica Parker
Theo - Ryan Phillippe
Papa Joe if you are reading this blog:
Get your creepy, nasty, filthy hands off your daughters and let them live their own lives.
NOBODY needs their daddy until they're 75.
You're redundant. Get a life of your own, loser.
Hohan is probably more experienced at acting than Chestica mainly because she's been acting a whole lot longer.
Jessica is much more attractive though, so I say she wins.
My Blog
Derek Hail's Blog
LMAO Michael K I almost choked on my lunch you are so funny. You always have me at my desk with my eyes in tears laughing. OMG I have never laughed this hard except for Richard Pryor in the 70s
Yeah a dad doesn't talk about his daughters titties. Its not normal you weirdo.
Star Jones if you're reading this, YOUR HUSBAND IS FUCKING GAY!!!!!!
Star probably only reads the items concerning herself. She's not interested in anyone else. Bet she got an eyeful the other night, when MK had that scary pic of her up. LOL!
okay this is ridiculous. it's almost noon and i'm not even drinking green beer.
damn you, DLISTED!!
In my opinion, Jessica is indeed more attractive than Lindsay, if you like trannies.
I may not like Lohan, but at least she doesn't looka lika man.
I still say they should make "Dynasty" instead. All those catfights and shoulder pads!
I know bug spray I bet she was pissed and Big Gay Al had to listen to her rant and rave and bitch all night long.
You know what really sucks??? I'm on March break right now, I had the whole week off at home with my kids. They have been playing video games almost the whole time and I've been spending my days on D-Listed!
Damn you MK! I love you man!!!!!!
everytime i look at that picture i can't stop staring at chestica's lopsided boobs.
How about Knotts Landing? Does anyone remeber that show?
PS: To the poster above, Tom Crude can't come out of the closet. CO$ doesn't "approve" of homosexuality. In fact, they claim to be able to "cure" it.
Oh, yah, Snots Landing. I'd almost forgotten about that. They had a blonde bimbo, too. Another role for Chestica!
I agree with your choices. Unfortunately, those actors probably wouldn't waste their time on a remake of Dallas. You're right, even if they did, it would still suck!
VB | 03.17.06 - 2:09 pm | #
Thank you! Have no clue who would play Pam, maybe Liv Tyler?
And you're right, none of my choices would get involved in this piece of crap!
Miss Ellie - Missy Elliott
JR - Bill Cosby
Sue Ellen - Whitney
Bobby - Bobby Brown
Eddie Munster | 03.17.06 - 2:08 pm | #
Beyond funny! But Cosby does not have the requisite psycho gene to play the great man. Might I suggest Wesley Snipes?
Bug Spray, yeah they cure it with cash deposited into a Church of $ bank account.
Attention Star Jones! | 03.17.06 - 2:16 pm
These bitches really put the "ass" in Dallas.
give the role to chestica, she's (probably) not a coke whore
Bill Murray as Jock? Wasnt' he just as old as Miss Ellie ?
Is this movie going to be a comedy ?
Either way the entire cast sounds horrible, and this movie will be one
BIG FLOP!
God, I'd rather see Shitney do it or Reese. Or even Kiki Drunkst.
UGGGH not KiKi my eyes would burn out!
I hope they have a duel resulting in their timely deaths over it.
Fuck Kiki! Has anyone read Ted today? I think the Blind Vice is Kirsten!
Maybe Bill Murray should play Miss Ellie. Now THAT would be good. LOL!
What MizRo??
Not Jessica? Who is Kiki dating?
Jessica looks like Charlene and Charlene didn't have that many spoken roles which Jess could handle (I think)... Hohan is too skinny for Charlene
I think it is a high profile TV movie. And while I loathe Jessica Simpson, she is from TEXAS and therefore has an accent to begin with.
OMG!!!!! Anon2: it IS Chestica!!
Bwahahahahaha! Stupid bitch! An abortion - isn't that against Papa's morals? "papa don't preach..."
Hohan would stink.
Chestica looks exactly like Charlene and would be excellent cast as her.
I grew up off of Parker Road--where SF ranch is in Texas. They used to get their mail with a golf cart b/c the driveway is so effing long.
yes. I am showboating
So THAT'S why she didn't want a meet & greet with Bush! He might notice she had one!
I cannot stop screaming!
Like, WHO CARES?? Wa hahahaha! I'm retarded today
The and It aint Miss Piggy make me think so for sure.
Suzie
I was non existent for most of the 80's and never watched this show and can still predict this is going to a crap fest. just the phrase John Travolta as a villian makes me laugh.
Doesn't Tom Cruise realize that his life would be much easier if he actually admitted that he is a homosexual? Doesn't he get that it IS ok to be gay? People would probably leave him alone if he came out.....
terri | 03.17.06 - 2:07 pm | #
his "church" would crucify him. scientology is one of the most anti gay "religionw" out there. bible thumpers love to act like the bible has a shit load to say about homsexuality, but jesus christ never even mentions it. ron hubbard however, believes homosexuality was a "disease" and that gays should be isolated, by force if necessary, from normal society.
Anon2: SOOO not obscure!
Baby Daddy is Adam Levine. Condoms, Chestica, CONDOMS!!
ugh, lots of typos. sorry about that.
hey. Here's showboating:
http://www.wireimage.com/Gallery...55945&
ym=200403
scroll down to susan and james. that's me, but i am blonde now. Still old, though. LOL
You're not old Suzie! BTW, James is hot!
lol, you know what's funny, i realize that the photographer is named dimitrios kambouris, but ( i usually don't give info like this out online) that's my last name too!
I wonder what the plot will be about?
btw suzie, you're pretty!
Go, LoHo, Go! Love your freckles. Yumm.
I don't know if the role requires an accent, but Jessica is actually from Dallas.
What a bizarre cast. I am not sure if I'm excited or not!
Well we can see it is going to be another banner year for Hollywood. More whining about how they aren't making money......well this movie is an expensive train wreck waiting to happen! I was a huge Dallas fan I never went out until 10 pm on Friday nights just so I wouldn't miss it, at least I think it was Friday nights but since I went out every night one night was pretty much like the next except I stayed home until 10 on the nights Dallas was on until bars found they could attract drinks by showing Dallas.
When will Hollywood learn not to remake television shows?
Bobby: Patrick Dempsy
No one else can play that role
You have to be kidding about the rest of the cast. John Travolta may be able to play a good JR. But Marcia Cross as Pam? Pam was a sexy girl next door, Marcias a cold brick.
Yuck.
The blind item on Ted's column today HAD to be Chestica... Think about it! Everyone was saying that she is pregnant and that she might get back with Nick. Obviously NOT if he's not the baby's daddy!
JAJAJAJA
Who is the idiot casting these parts?? Sue Ellen was a Southern belle, nothing like J-Ho. Marcia Cross is too old to play Pam Ewing and Bill Murray is too short to play Jock! This movie already sounds lame just from the cast!!!
Um, ok, this is a little disturbing because they BOTH look actually really good in these pics (the 3rd time I've said this about JS in two days!). Something is off. The globe's magnetic poles have reversed, the moon is off it's orbit and I'm seeing things upside-down.
And is it me, but does Hohan look alot like Liz Hurley here? It must be me... I'm going cu-ckoo!
Josh and Brody, your casting choices are so much more interesting, why can't someone in H-Weird get a clue?!!
la mexicana: it is DEFINITELY SIMPSON!!!
CONDOMS people, CONDOMS!!!
And is it me, but does Hohan look alot like Liz Hurley here? It must be me... I'm going cu-ckoo!
brent
Uh...Brent? Call your eye doctor for an appointment, immediatly. I'm seriously concerned for your optical health.
Okay, please, I'm begging you guys... where is this article you're reading about Chestica being preggers? I can't find it anywhere, and I'm dying to read it.
Why don't they try to find someone who can act?
www.eonline.com, Bug Spray...
Go to the "Awful Truth" under the "Gossip" tab.
Once in, go to the end of today's gossip and you will find THE BLIND VICE.
Have fun!
JR choices: Michael Keaton.. William Peterson of CSI perhaps
Sue Ellen: Marge Helgenberger of CSI or Sela Ward
Jock: Maybe Jon Voight
I'll have to think of the rest after a latte
Bill Murray? Jock? Please.
Thanks, Miz! Hmmm... wow! That's interesting! Does he ever confirm his stories? In other words, will we ever really know?
Today's Blind Vice: Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend. I am 99.9 percent certain of it.
If Shirley MacLaine is Miss Ellie, Bill Murray should NOT be Jock. Get real.
Michael K, you are too much. I have the church giggles at work.
@ Bean. Cheers Doll, I've got way too much free time on my hands! You're a Scorpio too, no?
@Brent. I'm sure you said Posh Spice was hot recently, so you have gone cuckoo! BTW, The Guardian's website has a reader's poll of break up songs. I'm 17/03@8.38pm...
Well, I'm waaay off topic and out of here!
Marcia Cross would be an excellent cast for SueEllen. The bitch quotient is already built in!
She's totally wrong for Pam.
But who would be a good Pam... hmm.. Ashley Judd?
Larry Hagman (original JR) would be a great casting for JOCK!!!!
Lacey Chabert for Pam??
The only thing that could make this cast worse is adding Jessica Alba
Love the typically hideous photo of Jessica and uniquely pretty photo of Lindsay.
Thanks MizRo. Yeah, good old James...
Thanks for the compliment Muffin.
Ashley Judd would make an excellent Pam!
Why is this being remade into a movie? Who honestly cares to see this???
WHO SHOT JR?
THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
lohan looks very nice in that picture. i have to admit, i find myslef not hating her right now.
my hate for jessica, on the other hand, grows daily.
That was so funny about the southern accent. I hope she doesn't get the part either. Ugh she can't act worth a cheesy bite.
I think Priscilla Presley would make a good Pam
Josh and Brody's daughter, a proud fellow Scorpio I am, indeed! You have a great night!! 
I love love love Patrick Dempsey for Bobby...and I still think Catherine Zeta-Jones would've made a perfect Sue Ellen.
And you're right...Larry Hagman as Jock would be right on!!!
Now, back to my peanut butter...
This has got to be the worst cast in what will no doubt be the biggest flop in history.
can people please stop putting jessica in movies? seriously. fuck.
Josh and Brody's daughter, a proud fellow Scorpio I am, indeed! You have a great night!!
Bean | 03.17.06 - 5:28 pm | #
Cheers Doll, you too!
Saskia, those two Prince songs are great and of course FwdMc. Another great but not very known Prince song is 'joy in repetition' from 'graffiti bridge', although it's more 'makeout' than 'breakup'.
Yes. Posh is hot. That part is not cuckoo. I like piggy-nosed girls.
What?
@Brent. I don't know 'Joy in repetition', I'll have to check it out. Makeout songs? Peaches ,Kelis and Barry are always reliable...... Haaaa! You have got to be taking the piss about Posh. You like women who look like pigs?! Even Becks doesn't want her waxy, underfed flange! And I thought my lust for Adrien Brody was perverted.....And its Miss Saskia to you!
Mademoiselle Saskia,
Yes I like women with upturned noses because mine is the opposite. Becks likes playing with his balls too much and painting his hair.
Your lust for A Bordy when combined with your lust for Ben delToro does indeed paint a rather perverted picture I'm afraid!
What's a 'flange'? (tho I could guess...)
Jessica IS a cheesy bite! 
WHO SHOT JR?
THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
duckandcover
******************************
Kristin Shepard (aka Mary Crosby) shot JR.
"If I have to hear that bitch do another retarded Southern accent I will take that stupid Pizza Hut pizza she carries around and fuck her with it until she's shitting Cheesy Bites!"- MK
LMFAO!
I want to see neither of those two.
what a bout Demi Moore for SuEllen or sharon stone and what about farrah fawcett as miss ellie, she is a texan. collin farrel as bobby and catherine zet-jones as pam
I hope they offer the part to Scarlett Johansson so Lohan and Simpson will throw tantrums and cry like goddamned spoiled brats. heheheh.
Give it to Lindsay. At least she can act.
What's a 'flange'? (tho I could guess...)
brent | 03.17.06 - 9:20 pm | #
The(urban!) dictionary definition is "undesirable vagina". Here endeth the lesson....You like snouts cos you don't have one? I'm black and almost 6ft in heels, but I don't fancy Danny De Vito!
Forget Chestica, I want me some Miss Piggy on this sucker. Lotsa pigskin oh yeaaaaaaah...
Luke Wilson as Bobby? Granted he's not as goofy as Own, but still - I don't remember Bobby being goofy of any kind.
The rule only applies to noses.
damn..i don't even remember Dallas....all it is to me is another worthless REMAKE!
Damn. I love celebrity dish and can't stand Chestica as much of the rest of you but geez... Raping her with a pizza? What's with the violent sexual imagery? Someone has some major issues with women. Enough to make me want to stop reading this rag.
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