Try as he might Tom could not out run his gayness.
TOM MUST DIE
"Yes. I'm a douche."
Try as he might Tom still could not out run the crazy train.
tom liked a big chopper between his legs.....
Little does Tom know but Katie/Kate planted a time bomb to go off when he goes for a ride
i Prefer riding different hogs
Hag Fag
Yo Kat, does this fucker make me look straight?
WOOHOO!!! I've got a big boy bike now!!!
*I wish the woody I'm getting from this wind-up toy was visible! Then maybe people wouldn't make fun of me*
"mmmm, not bad. But I've had bigger. I shall name you Rob Thomas, err, Katie"
Okay, I'm gonna do a wheelie.. woo hoo!!!... What? Oh, the bike comes up and not me?
The Mythbusters try explain the "Tom Cruise" theory
not a caption, but i love that bike. 
too bad ot9 is on it. 
Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
*this bike vibrates my anal beads reeeeaaaal good.*
Tom demonstrates how he rode Harley last night.
Tom Cruise always wears all black when suffering thru a heavy period
"I can't sit down, this butt plug is killing me!"
I KNEW Tom was a girl. Look at him on his cycle!
Yes, my weenie does fit in this hole. I'll take it.
I ride standing up, it will make me look taller! ja..I'm genious!
Once she birthed my Hubbard beast, "Kate" was of no use to me. So, I had her transformed into this cool motorcycle.
Tom yells to the crown "Hey Valerie!"
*Stewart voice* "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"
Nothing beats that feeling you get from riding a Hog!
Tome shows that it is okay to use a booster seat with a Harley.
I would use the seat, but this anal probe hurts!
You know, I hear that "bike" is French slang for Dick. Hmmmmm....
crowd, i hate fucking typos' especially my own
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
"queers on wheels"
Chauvinist pig on a hog.
"Does this bike make me look any taller?"
*Stewart voice* "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"
Morticia, The Corpse Bride | Homepage | 05.04.06 - 2:38 pm |
Oh my god I just jumped, kicked to the side and snapped my neck!
Tom using Mr. Microphone "hey babe, I'll be back to pick ya up later." *winks*
Evil Scientival
Internal monologue:
"Don't look gay, don't look gay, don't look gay. Don't think of dick. They totally love me."
I would do absolutely anything in the world to continue this idiotic crazy charade that I am a macho heterosexual movie star who fucks women!
well he tried the couch jumping and now Tom Cruise will demonstrate how to jump up and down on a bike.
If Xenu knew why I'm not sitting down.....
In his spare time, Tom Cruise enjoys riding bareback.
Tom auditions for the Biker Dude role with the Village People.
TOM SAID HE WILL GITE ON TOP AND RIDE IT
THAN HE WILL RIDE IT AND RIDE IT SOME MORE
"ahhhhhhhhh finally i can take a piss in public and no one bothers me"
Tom, suffering from server delussions, believes that he is in fact, a real secrect agent.
Sign behind Tom reminds him NO FAGS on bikes allowed here
*oh shit! i hope i scrubbed the 666 off my forehead!*
Tom takes the new and improved Robot Kate for a post Suri ride. 9 months later Suri Jr. is born.
He's sitting too high on the hog.
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl
OMG!! That WINS!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!
"Does this bike make me look like I have a big cock."
Tom, suffering from server delussions, believes that he is in fact, a real secrect agent.
Long Island Irish | 05.04.06 - 2:41 pm |
i bet he so does. and a real fighter pilot. and a real person.
Tom is ecstatic because he just discovered the kickstand was removeable and shoved it up his ass.
Wearing Katie's undergarments as a good-luck charm, Tom Cruise wins the leather and lace race.
Nothing gets the cooter to slobber like a ride on a chopper.
Oh my god I just jumped, kicked to the side and snapped my neck!
pricolatino aka Dickson Furrow | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm |
So you did the after orgasim twitch??!!
VOTE PIPPI LONGSTOCKING FOR HOT SLUT OF THE MONTH!
tom takes a spin with the spirit of L.ron.
What an asshole.
Hey Travolta!
This is way more macho than a G-Damn airplane!
LOL mpcmike! So L.Ron is sitting in the seat then? 
After a long time without a man Tom is happy for something powerful and throbbing between his legs.
Remember when you used to ride your big brother's bicycle and your feet couldn't reach the pedals if you were sitting on the seat so you'd ride the crossbar? Yeah....
one caption:
boycott MI3 for christ's sake!
or please pay for a different movie.
second caption: tom must die.
so if suri's worth a million $, then do the paparazzi just carry a roll of dimes around at his NEVERENDING AND POINTLESS photo ops?
No, for that I arch my back, snap my neck back while my head vibrates and I grunt like a pig passing a kidney stone.
Bug Spray ty 
"Look ma! no training wheels"
"Im a macho macho man..."
Next thing you know he's going to "accidentally" drop his pocket pussy. Anything to prove you're straight. Just ask Ryan Secrest.
this is gonna be great p.r., kate....kate?
Harley Davidson's Father of the Year.
Macho macho man
I've got to be a macho man
Tom Cruise... poster boy for the new and improved Preparation H
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm | #
Damn
Prico--I think Tom is 2 seconds from "grunting like a pig passing a kidney stone" in that photo. ROFL
Tom gives his best Titanic impression... "I'M QUEER OF THE WORLD!"
scientology does not allow masturbation. Does dry humping a gas tank count?
Is he sitting on the Invisible Man's lap?
Long Island Irish | 05.04.06 - 2:44 pm | #
or xenu!
"uh Mr.Cruise I know you're excited and all but your one and only Kate fell off about a half a mile ago"
wow, Prico, I need a cigarette.
A hump riding a hump.
El Bastardo - you used the words "powerful", "throbbing", and "between legs" all in one scentence.
I have no more logical thought.
"Y.M.C.A"
mpcmike | 05.04.06 - 2:45 pm | #
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
just saw yours! great minds
A few moments before this photo Mr.Tom Cruise realized his large dildo had a suctioning base that could be attached to his bike as an extra seat.
LOL Xenu it could be! 
Tom Cruise's last photo taking of him alive seconds before he crashed in to a wall.
A girl can dream!
Eyes wide shut, butthole wide open.
I shall name you PLACENTA!! Mmmm.... Placenta!!!
@Morticia,i know,its all manly shit!!
Sunny! LOL ROTF!!!!!
Red Bull gives you wiiinnnnngggssss!!!!
"CRASH CRASH CRASH"
The crowd roared
"If you can read the back of my shirt, that means my beard- er, bitch- fell off."
Who's your daddy?
I know he's supposed to be a top gun, but I rather fancied him as a bottom.
This would have been so much more impressive if he could aactually reach the pedals.
That's really Tom's Sybian.
L. Ron is my co-pilot.
tom prepares for a world record jump over 14 thetans.
Tom practices for his next role as Ponch in CHIPS the movie.
Viscious Cycle
Long Island Irish -thanks! but I always suck at these...
Step 4 for the Scientology Approved DeGaying Process (For Men): Ride around on a big non-gay motorcycle...preferably in non-gay clothing.
I can't spell or speak clearly for shit today. I think Jade rubbed off on me.
Far and a Gay
Ooops, forgot to change the name back.
S.H.i.P.S.
Scientologys Hilarious Imbeciles in Public Streets
LOL You're a classy bitch Prico.
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm
hands down winner LOL!!!!
Tom discovered an ingenious way of hiding a 5 foot tall pole with the words "Mission: Impossible: 3" on it. Can you find it?
Me ride pretty one day.
Tabatha
No helmet, no brain, no problem.
Does this motorcycle make me look gay?
Xenu is my co-pilot.
"Katie put on your leather teddy 'cause after cruising the gay bars, I will be in the mood."
Xenu Angels....the gay chapter.
wheeeeeeeeeeee!
Tom yells to the crown "Hey Valerie!"
KitKatWoman | 05.04.06 - 2:38 pm | #
all those ass clenches with Rob Thomas paid off
tom's lovin' his new e-meter.
Where are the cards I asked for in spokes?
ElB - ty and LOL at yours!!!!
sunny-LOL!!!!
"Damn, should've had Clay use lube last night -- I can't sit down on this fucker"
Me ride pretty one day.
Diva | 05.04.06 - 2:53 pm | #
Awesome.
Valerie alert....Jade post.
Tom is a tool. Tom is a tool. Tom is a tool. Tom is a tool.
"thith ith thoooo mutth fun -you guyths are thooo glib!"
*Vroom... vroom... me a big boy now!*
Sleazy Rider
Good Night Bitches. I've got a doctor's appt. *kisses*
NoAnjl ! thank you!
Later jennifer!
Tom must have not seen the "You Must Be This High to Ride the Motorcycle" sign.
bye jennifer!
Next time I will INSIST Kate use vaseline!!
Tom leaves enough room for Xenu to ride with him.
Top Imbecile
Hi, I'm Tom. Yes, I'm an asshole.
pow, pow, power wheels!
Eyes wide shut, butthole wide open.
StoneyBaloney aka Auntie Tata | 05.04.06 - 2:49 pm | #
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I almost spit coffee all over my laptop!!!
night jennifer!
Riding faggot riding free
see the faggot
see the riding faggot
riding faggot riding free!
0-sodomy in 43 years.
Motorcycle: "Does this Tom make me look gay?"
Interviewer: So, Tom, how was your ride in on the new Harley motorcycle prototype?"
Tom: Oh, it was fahbulous! But we don't refer to that as a motorcyle. 'Motorcyle' is a term used by normal people for useless vessles. This is actually a transport vessel to Xenu. We call this Motor. It was Kate's idea.
Tom could no longer sit after riding the hog all afternoon.
Cruise-n-the Hershey Highway.
I'm so pretty..oh so pretty..I'm so pretty and witty and GAYYYYYYYYY!
Motorcycle: "Does this Tom make me look gay?"
fo sho | 05.04.06 - 3:00 pm | #
Yoiks
Internal monologue:
"Don't look gay, don't look gay, don't look gay. Don't think of dick. They totally love me."
ZStar | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm |
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm
Those are hilarious! I don't even want to waste time trying to beat that stuff.
"Y'all don't know the history of Harley. I DO."
Despite his miniscule 5'2" stature, psycho-Tom demanded a "big boy bike" and then informed onlookers that they knew "nothing about bike-riding" and that "this is the proper way to ride, seats are like crutches...or prozac."
Yeah Yeah , this how I get up and ride Kate!!!
Drew: "This is the safest thing you'll ever have between your legs."
Janey: "What?"
Jeff: "Never mind."
~Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
"You know how I know you're gay?"
"How?"
"You're Tom Cruise."
You don't understand the history of homosexuality, I do.
thanks teehee and fergernauster!
"Y'all don't know the history of Harley. I DO."
fergernauster | 05.04.06 - 3:02 pm |
Freakin' Hilarious!!!!
Tom cruise learns just how difficult it is to ride a motorcycle with a twelve inch butt plug up his ass
mission impossible
"I think I'm butch, I think I'm butch..."
Tom's cruising,just like Al Pacino!
Tom has finally reached OT 8...the level when you are oblivious to embarrassment.
Is that a "walk your bike" sign in the background? Ha.
'...Highway to the dirt star zone.."
"i don't care if you ARE tom cruise. showing up at premieres with bugs in your teeth just ain't cool."
Aw, thanks El Bastardo!
Are we all hiding from Valerie in here???
Die
Unable to sit comfortably on his bike, Tom realizes that he must temproarily remove Katie from his ass.
if you ride up on the motor, like this, it totally vibrates your balls. YEAH!
Suri who??? Weeeeeee
Are we all hiding from Valerie in here???
bzbee | 05.04.06 - 3:07 pm | #
I know I am, lol. Ignorance is contagious.
"Negative ghostrider, the anus is full"
MACHO: IMPOSSIBLE
Shondi... I must say AGAIN that your avatar makes me piddle with glee.
Thank you!
MOTORIST .. WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR FLIGHT?
so thats where the gear shift is
Tom-"Black leather jacket,check,Sunglasses,check,Black boots,check,bastard motosickle,check....right no-ones gonna call me gay now..muahahahahaha!!"
M3: Mindless Midgets on Mopeds
hasta la vista, ka-tie!
Looook at meeee, I'm Saaaandra Deeee...
MOTORIST .. WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR FLIGHT?
duckandcover | 05.04.06 - 3:09 pm |
Love it!
I can reach the pedals all by my self...I CAN, I CAN, I CAN!!!!
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm | #
"Y'all don't know the history of Harley. I DO."
fergernauster | 05.04.06 - 3:02 pm | #
No helmet, no brain, no problem.
King Koko | 05.04.06 - 2:54 pm | #
L. Ron is my co-pilot.
TINKERBELL | 05.04.06 - 2:51 pm | #
Is he sitting on the Invisible Man's lap?
pricolatino aka Dickson Furrow | 05.04.06 - 2:46 pm | #
Please pick one of the above! They are too funny -
No gloves or helmet? Hopefully Katie remembered to cut the brake line this time.
Gays of Wonder
Thanks Pammie!
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm |
That's gold, NoAnjl! GOLD!
Robo-Kate also transforms into a motorcycle for Tom's private use.
"Y'all don't know the history of Harley. I DO."
fergernauster | 05.04.06 - 3:02 pm | #
:D Yay!
A tool and his machine.
"I'm the Queen of the wooooooooorrrrllld!"
The first bike that runs on Hotdog water,Cruise has a plentifull supply.
Wearing a butt plug while riding my hog is nice, but I can't wait to get my ten-inch black dildo attached to the seat!
you are welcome ferernauster!
He's too short to actually sit on the seat. His feet wouldn't reach the pegs.
You should see how cool I look when I ride KATE.
JOHNNYCAKES, HERE I COME!!!!!
L. Ron is my co-pilot.
TINKERBELL | 05.04.06 - 2:51 pm | #
Cruise-n-the Hershey Highway.
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 3:01 pm |
What do you mean I can't reach the pedals? You're being glib.
"Y'all don't know the history of Harley. I DO."
fergernauster | 05.04.06 - 3:02 pm | #
Hogs not Drugs
Nothing like airing out the old balloon knot on the way to a premier...
Cruise-n-the Hershey Highway.
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 3:01 pm |
sunny | 05.04.06 - 3:18 pm | #
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
Thanks sunny,nearly missed that one,damn NoAnjl you must win,that or Evil Scientival congrats
tom likes riding big, black hard things...
"I'm a big kid now!"
Abe Froman | 05.04.06 - 3:03 pm | #
OMG...that was my fav movie as a youngster!
Ooops, left the house again with a dildo in my ass.
Q. What do you call Tom Cruise on a Motorcycle?
A. A dirt bike!
"Respect the cocksucker"
I don't know how you decide who wins the caption contest, but "Evil Scientival" is the funniest shit I've heard in a LONG time. Priceless!
Try as he might Tom still could not out run the crazy train.
FirstClass aka Candy Coxx | 05.04.06 - 2:35 pm | #
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
Jesus,gotta look at the early postings
Members Only jacket - check
Greasy bangs - check
"Respect the cocksucker"
fo sho | 05.04.06 - 3:23 pm | #
fo sho/sunny/ElB
sunny | 05.04.06 - 2:48 pm | #
i think we've done that before! love your avatar, btw.
MetalSlut - dayum girl, thanks!!! *hug*
His right hand on the brake lever, the wheels aren't turning and someone PhotoShopped-out the kick stand. What a poser.
Does this make me look taller?
'If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
We three-wheelin in the fo' with the gold D's'
ha ha "dirt bike" reminds me of dirt star.
"I feel the need,the need for....a large schlong in my puckered chocolate starfish!!"
He can't sit down all the way because he had way too much dick in his ass before the photo was taken.
"Her name is Har now, because Harley is a tricycle name. She's a fag-bearing bike now"
Smile and Wave boys, Smile and Wave! Or else I will hunt you down and kill you.
What a fucking tool
"Her name is Har now, because Harley is a tricycle name. She's a fag-bearing bike now"
StoneyBaloney aka Auntie Tata | 05.04.06 - 3:31 pm | #
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
WHAAAAATT!!!
I hope they take the pictures from my good side, you know, the side where they can't see the kickstand is down.
Abe Froman-
Great movie reference. I honestly thought I was the only person in the world that saw that movie (or at least owned the soundtrack).
If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
We three-wheelin in the fo' with the gold D's
Oh why do I live this way? (Hey, must be scien-tolgy!)
Little Tom waiting for Suri to give him a ride to the next planet.
No Kate you can't come, Scientology women aren't allowed to ride Man Machines, go take some vitamins
Nothing says sodomy like Tom Cruise on a motorcycle, except the word 'sodomy'.
2-Stroke Diesel Dyke
i ride fag like i ride this bike
http://www.pondracket.com
MK-
This is easily the hardest one you will ever judge. Everyone is on top of this one.
YOU FOLKS ARE HILARIOUS TODAY!
L. Ron is my co-pilot.
TINKERBELL | 05.04.06 - 2:51 pm | #
HILARIOUS!!!!!!
also like the "you don't know the history of harley like i do" thats pretty funny too!
Nothing says sodomy like Tom Cruise on a motorcycle, except the word 'sodomy'.
Gary Coleman | 05.04.06 - 3:34 pm | #
God,these are the funniest captions i've seen
Kind of just looks like he's sitting there in front of a giant fan going, "Weee!"
"Shooting begins on the latest Terminator installment, T4: The Gay Terminator"
Looook at meeee, I'm Saaaandra Deeee...
pricolatino aka Dickson Furrow
ROFLOL!! LMAO. That was a spit-take.
mpcmike | 05.04.06 - 3:27 pm | #
why, thank you!
Tom experiences what it's like to be average height.
bitches can ride too
A midget on a bike, it's like the circus all over again!
Boy does Tom "the nutzoid" Cruise bring out the best in everyone or what?
I AM the only gay in the village !
Tom experiences what it's like to be average height.
Imbrium | 05.04.06 - 3:36 pm | #
Tom shows again how much he enjoys hot, throbbing things between his legs.
Are you sure this isn't the premier for Jerry Ma-assisonfire?
I feel the need. The need to breed!!!
(fart)
I hope they take the pictures from my good side, you know, the side where they can't see the kickstand is down.
Anonymous | 05.04.06 - 3:33 pm | #
seriously I gotta stop reading all of these -y'all are making me laugh waaaay too hard!
He's thinking to himself, "Can you feel the wind in your teeth, Tom?!"
Tom grins as he thinks up the premise for the sequel to Cock-Tail.
Twin-cam Power Bottom
JACKASS!!
Tom Cruise auditions for the remake of "Cruising"
Tom proves what we've all known all along: that he likes something big, sleek and powerful thrusting from the rear.
I'm so sick of seeing pictures of Tom Cruise.
has to stand up to reach the gear shifter
I would sit on the motorcycle, but my ass hurts...
Too bad we can't see the hanes little boy underwear from this angle.
DOUCHE BAG!!!
Look at me world.. I'm an asshole
I wish there was a big dick waiting for me....when I finally sit back down...
L. Ron Hubbard is my co-pilot.
FUCK FACE
Apparently burning rubber is a day job too.
Tom:"Ok guys, be totally honest with me....do I still look gay if I STAND up on the bike?"
Somehow I don't see Columbia going nuts for this........
"29 Minutes! But if you accept me as your saviour, I'll still give you the pizza for free..."
Tom: Look Kate I can ride standing up! Next I will ride with no hands. Scientology has made me so cool!
Tommy's so short, he can't sit all the way down on the Big Boy Bike; if he could, then we could call him Tom.
Tom Cruise, the hottest piece of Ass that ever rode a motorcycle.
I feel the need. The need to breed!!!
Bug Spray | 05.04.06 - 3:39 pm | #
"I wonder if this will make me look taller?"
the second coming of l.ron is not as spectacular as we'd been led to believe.
Cruise-n-the Hershey Highway.
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 3:01 pm | #
Looook at meeee, I'm Saaaandra Deeee...
pricolatino aka Dickson Furrow
So very, very funny....
Hells Alien, Hollywood Chapter.
I guess Tom's mom never told him not to stick his dick in a gas tank.
"Riding a bad ass motorcycle wards off the homosexual demons that are out there to get you and if you ride a bad ass motorcycle while standing AND wearing black, it cures cancer!"-Scientology commercial shoot
Tom is having to stand while he drives his bike since he just got finished with a fudge packing incident. He is still a little sore.
It's not the meat, it's the motion. And Tom's not moving.
How much gayass does that thing take per mile?
Highway to the Gayass Zone
It's not the meat, it's the motion, and if you notice, Tom's not going anywhere.
I like vaginas. Give them to me.
Cruising for Dicks
She rides a lot smoother withouth the fat bitch on the back.
Caution: Do not try this at home after you've had your fudge packed.
QUICK QUICK SOMEONE SING,"If youre happy and you know it clap your hands!"
Goodnight people,has to be the funniest caption contest ever!!
Hey good lookin, I'll be back later to suck your dick.
Does this Harley make me look gay? Straight? Sane?
Night El Bastardo!
Follow me! L. Ron told me the space ship is leaving from the West side!
Viscious Cycle
Rabies
that's my cousin!
The TOOL
and hisTOOL
all hail the queen of the road!
Mission Impossible IV: To Find a Man to Bear My Child
Tom's testing out his new butt plug...
Did you know bees and dogs can smell my farts?
Tom Cruise auditions for the part of the leather-clad motorcycle man in the soon-to-be-made movie "Return of The Village People," co-starring John Travolta.
MI3: Midget In 3-inch lifts
just then xenu knocked his ass off the bike
since we ALL are waiting for another post, where is everybody?
me-indianapolis.
it is 4:00, time for that self-important, but unmissable bitch oprah.
really libby? where? i grew up there
Do the shake, do the shake,
Do the shake, do the shake,
Do the milkshake, the milkshake, do the shake!
Do the shake, do the shake,
Do the shake, do the shake,
Do the milkshake, the milkshake, do the shake!
"Thath right, I-thman! I am dangerouth!"
"I am here to chew bubblegum, and kick ass."
xenu-do xenudo ooh ooh
"If MI:3 flops, I guess I'll just settle for running for governor..."
If Scientology does not cure Tom from his gayness soon, this tool will be working for Snap-On.
Sorry everyone but I'm in a Suri. Get it? Hehehe. . . nevermind, I'm jumping off this bridge. Its over!!!
nothing fits better than a fatboy.
-tc
Tom is *riding* his bike.
a.b. Don't jump! I got it!!
I wonder if dry humping his bike felt good?
peace ElB!!!!
"Look L. Ron, no hands!!"
hey spin--i live in woodruff place, downtown, near-eastside.
more than a mile outside of downtown, the guys all look like my avatar.
ALL UR CRAZYNESS ARE BELONG TO ME!
mr west fucked his bitch so hard he couldn't sit down for a week.
woodruff place, downtown
i grew up in a little 'burb not far, irvington
or maybe...
ALL UR GAYS ARE BELONG TO ME!!!
????
Tom Cruise's prosthetic penis.
tom needed a booster seat just to ride but got carried away
Back of his shirt reads...
"If you can read this, then my alien fell off."
"mr. cruise, look, we're really sorry we told you the one about the nun riding her bike without the seat"
-the cast of Mi 3
irvington is AWESOME!
Look Mom! I'm still gay!
used to live right across from the park
if i HAVE TO live here forever, i would choose woodruff or irvington.
where are you now? give me some HOPE!
noni - ty
conroe, tx!
it was cheaper. but i miss irvington...so pretty in the fall!
Hmmm, I feel just like Jade and the preposterous elephant....
Note To Self: Remove dildo before riding.
Tom Humper Hog
Good luck choosing just one winner for THIS contest. I suggest you take the top 10!
does this make me taller?
Motha Fucka goes WWHHEEEEE!!!
Don't laugh, you don't know the history of motorcycles... I DO!
hope nobody said that already, had to throw it in.
"make sure you take the shot so nobody can see the wire out of my head to hold me up!"
-tc
Evil Scientival
NoAnjl | 05.04.06 - 2:39 pm
Funny stuff there
Not a caption but seriously, I just noticed where he is sitting and that if he were to put his butt on the actual seat, his feet wouldn't reach the pedals!
Tom Cruise promoting his next film, "Inch High Private Eye."
"Suri can Just Kiss my Ass; I'm going riding"
yep. top ten needed in this case MK!
I wonder if Jada Pinkett is available?
cripes that is me
I wonder if Jada Pinkett is available?
Anonymous | 05.04.06 - 4:27 pm | #
damn cookie cleaning
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! I'm a big boy now!!!
Cruise Says: I've never had something this powerful between my legs...
Darth ty
fo sho | 05.04.06 - 4:24 pm | #
fo sho WTF!!!!
SCIENTOLOGY RULES!!!
the new and slightly modified 'Kate 2000'
OMG .... Perez Hilton is chasing me!
Big and black and tight against my balls, just the way I love it!
Tom test-drives the new Vespa "Sonogram 2006"
Tom to motorcycle: "You complete me."
NoAnjl - I know! What a shorty!
Instead of being on the "Down Low,"
Tom is on the "Way Up High!"
"Look ma'- no brains!!!!!!"
I want a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R!
A cool cool cool rider!
I just rolled up a snowball and tossed it into hell. Now let's see what chance I have to not look gay.
Tom test drives the latest model of the Sybian vibrator for men.
Report to Tom: "Will Kate be riding on your bike with you?"
Tom to Report: "She's got no training for this kind of thing."
Even in my dreams, I'm an idiot who knows he's about to wake up to reality.
Good night and good luck to all!! Funny shit today - it's always a good time picking on Tomass!
fo sho xo
Good night NoAnjl!
Look...no training wheels!
This isn't cutting it either, I guess I will try a carrot again.
Look Mom, no brains!
IM' A THETA BIATCH!
Maverick: This is what I call a target rich environment.
Goose: You live your life between your legs, Mav.
I want a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R!
A cool cool cool rider!
Anonymous | 05.04.06 - 4:50 pm |
OMG...we're probably the only two who know what that's from!!!
The Midget Bikers are always my favorite part of the Pride Parade.
Not long after this photo was taken Tom wowed the crowds by using his OT9 powers to launch himself from the motorcycle and fly over their heads singing "I wanna be free" by the Monkees.
OMG...we're probably the only two who know what that's from!!!
MJF | 05.04.06 - 5:08 pm |
Make that 3 people.
"Check out the tail pipe on this one!"
fo sho | 05.04.06 - 5:10 pm |
small club! Wasn't really the blockbuster that the first one was, eh?
"coolrider" Grease 2 bitches!!
Wow this bike rides better than Vin Diesel! I mean, I love Kate.
I saw him in Midtown yesterday from my apartment window, I can't take his face or his craziness anymore. Thanks for the laughs though, goodnight all!
the rod inserted up tom cruise's ass is so large that he needs to be in a standing position at all times.
Sorry, my legs are too short.
I'm not gay! I ride a motorcycle!
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SUPERSCIENTOLOGIST!
On this bike, the bitch seat is in the front.
OMG...we're probably the only two who know what that's from!!!
MJF | 05.04.06 - 5:08 pm |
And Tom is almost as tall as Mr. Nogerelli
Tom gives Xenu a tour of New York City.
Weee! This is better than riding John Travolta!
MJF - Yeah, not quite. I did also like that cheesy song Michelle did at the xmas pageant - "turn back, whoa oh, turn back..."
StoneyBaloney knows what's up!
as usual... *checks manicure*
More proof that 'Kate' really is a robot as Tom starts humping anything made of metal.
Tom takes a ride with L. Ron Hubbard's invisible alien.
And for his latest P.R. stunt, Tom will jump over David Blaine's bubble tank while taking a crap in his tube.
401 comments already? Oh my..... it's fun watching some lose their damned mind...
SMALL MAN, BIG MOTORCYCLE...= NO SEMEN
Tom can't get enough of the hog.
Motorcycle: "Does this Tom make me look gay?"
fo sho | 05.04.06 - 3:00 pm | #
ROFLMAO!!! I have no idea why I found that so funny but it actually made me start howling with laughter in the middle of the fucking library during exam time. Good job, fo sho!!
If only the spoon up my ass didn't prevent me from sitting down!
"Perhaps using Katie's sonagram probe as a butt plug last night wasn't the best idea before a movie premier."
Thanks for the compliment, little cheeto! Good luck on those exams!
Goodnight everyone! Awesome captions today!
hmm..a tool on a bike..i'm guessing tom thinks the buff guys at Orange County chopper will now how to"use" him
know*
"see, i don't have to wear plateau shoes to pass average height. i can just stuff a motorcycle underneath my feet!"
"I love this bike it makes my asshole pucker!"
"look ma, no sense of what it is to be a normal human being!"
MsAstro | 05.04.06 - 5:19 pm |
Okay, with that avatar, you'd BETTER know what we were referencing!
Will someone please but the dild..er I mean scientology truth staff on my seat so I can sit down?
still a dickhead
Golly-gee-willakers, I sure am cool!!!
Tom smiles thinking to himself, "Nicole would have never let me ride without a helmet. Thank Xenu I have a new baby momma!"
They had to pay up the whazoo, but in the end, Mattel found it lucrative for Tom Cruise to endorse their 2007 line of Micro Machines.
Look At ME! I'm straight!
Tom, it's a motorcycle, not a car, there's not a gear shift up there.
Fuck the caption, I want that bike.
'Beard' + bike + leather jacket= heterosexual
My ass hurt so bad I have to ride this bitch standing up.
Tom takes a ride on katie's exo-skeleton
Tom loves to sit on big, hard things.
PRIDE kicked off in New York this week with a parade.
We knew the child was an alien... we didn't know she was a Transformer.
My career has officially Jumped The Shark.
I haven't sat down since I "took a meeting" with John Travolta.
Cruise demonstrates how he smuggled the illegally obtained ultrasound probe into his house so as not to attract any attention from the medical community - it is cleverly concealed in his bunghole, and the motorcycle is the distraction - pure genius!
Mental Illness
at least he's not dancing....
GIDDYUP !!!!!!!!!!
Is this what the blacks do?
"I'm Tom Cruise!! I'm super straight!! Watch me ride my cool motorcycle!!! I'm just so excited I can't be cool!!!!"
Well you're right on one account Mr. Cruise you really just can't be cool even when you try.
I know I fell asleep at that Scientologist meeting last night but damn, what the hell did they probe me with this time?
Tom brings a whole new meaning to being "crazy" on a motorcycle.
Big Wheels have come along way!
MOTORIST .. WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR FLIGHT?
duckandcover | 05.04.06 - 3:09 pm |
Love it!
fo sho | 05.04.06 - 3:12 pm |
lol. Thanks, fo sho!
hehe, that tickles.
"I'm Ready to Hide the Cannoli!"
Rule # 1 of Scientology : You must never sit down
Anything you can do, I can do better. Take that Brad Pitt.
it just goes to show you, Tom will dry hump anything!!
Once Tom went black...
Yes Tom, we still think you're a homo.
standing anal sonogram
Cocky and cocksure. Dorks rule!
"Katie, You Stupid Whore, Put the God Damned thing on my bike so everyone can see this....I mean, Darling, Please put my precious little Suri on the nice motorcycle, so I can show off how much I love her... What's that?! You say her Diaper changed?! I would LOVE to change it for her! I LOVE changing Diapers...You know what else I love Katie? I Love YOU! I LOVE THIS WOMAN" *Jumps on Motorcycle* "I LOVE THIS WOMAN"
"ASSHOLE"
(btw...we are going to relaunch "the urbansocialites" soon...)
Master Tom, you're blowing your cover...Humans sit on seats.
Tom yelling "I said I wanted a green machine, not a mean machine!"
Trailer for Missionary Position:Impossible III
Sweet! Between the lifts in my shoes and this motorcycle if I just stand up i'm taller than Mickey Rooney!!
ohmygod KitKat, I am positively LMFAO at your gravatar...I need to show the hubby that one (yes, he's being punished!)...
Observer: "Tom, your bike looks broken!"
Tom: "Ya know, I don't know what's wrong with it, but I bet I can cure it in three days."
I am Cornholio- the second coming of L.Ron!
Damn that's a cool bike. Is that his, or does he just get to show it off for someone else?
Small motorcycles and fat women... fun to ride but embarrassing to be caught with.
Until the mother ship calls him home, Tom is content to take a spin on the Crotch Rocket 2000.
Tom misunderstood Katie when she said she wanted him to bring home a crotch rocket.
The Placentanator!!!!
"Top Gun" Tom tests drives the new "E-Meter XenuLove MegaProbe" on his way to save the world from... something.. maybe Psychologists... again!!!
PRICK
I just hate it when my action figures don't fit on my other toys quite right.
"yes, i am a douche" is my vote
also like "look what i can do" (in stewart voice)
here's my try:
'dun-dun-dadunt-dunt-dunt-dadunt'
tom's inner monologue: mission impossible theme song
I just hate it when my action figures don't fit on my other toys quite right.
Mohito | 05.05.06 - 5:41 am | #
LOL -
I also thought he looked like an action figure in this photo. Or like Ken with the non-bendy legs on a toy motorcycle.
(spoken in Pinnochio-like voice):
But I'm a real man!
Tom Cruises.
Compensating for something, Tom???
Woo doggy! way to feel the power between my legs!YEAH!
Where's a runaway bus when you need one???
Ya, I bet people are going to make fun of me for this, but they all be in line/renting/downloading MI-III sooner or later...
gay.
NoAnjl, Stoney, & ELB!! Congrats!
Congrats, you guys! Great choices!!!
Congrats to the winners!
NoAnjl, StoneyBaloney, El Bastardo! Good job winning an awesome contest!
Ya'll are some witty mother fuckers!!!
Thanks MK Hot Lips!!!!
Congrats Stoney and ElBastardo!!!!
Thanks everybody!!!!
I am out of Halohell. Yay! Congatulation weiners, another round of shots! 
Wooo Hooo NoAnjil...
great job everybody!!!
Congrats Winners!! Round of shots for you!
El Bastardo stole my line. I ACTUALLY WAS THE RUNNER UP!! (Yes, I have no life)
way to go, all star team!
here's a round of shots for you all.
Oh shit, Gary, that was you! MK better fix that!
Gary Coleman | 05.05.06 - 10:45 am | #
awwwww, dat ain't right!!! Here babe:
WAY TO GO GARY COLEMAN!!!!! YIPEEEE, YA HOOOOOOO!!!!
Evil Scientival - NoAnjl
The best one yet!
Uproar ty! *kiss*
NoAnjl Babe! Congrats!!!!!!
oh and Gary Coleman Congrats as well--I just saw that...
Congrats all!
Why thank you everyone! *bats eyelashes*
You like me! You really like me!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
µµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµ
40.000.000 $ for MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III
0,5 $ for his BRAIN !
Tonton Ravachol the french fool
I didnt do that one,wish i had,laughed my weiner off,sort it out!!!
Gary Coleman,you're the man!!
NoAnjl-well done you're a star,Stoney excellentos,Gary Coleman i paid you $20 for that one,you know it
Everybody hates me now thanks to MK mistake,you'll never see me again.It's been a lot of fun but it's ruined,goodbye NoAnjl,fo sho,tim,StoneyBaloney,,and any other funny mofo who i forgot to mention also*sniff*Gary Coleman who made me laugh but it turned into tears*sniff* 
"Nothing says sodomy like Tom Cruise on a motorcycle, except the word 'sodomy'. - El Bastardo"
That's maybe the funniest thing I've ever read.
El Bastardo | 05.05.06 - 12:48 pm | #
YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE JERK OFF!! WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU????YOU KNOW I HEART YOU!
btw, LOL at the $20 comment!!!
Congrats NoAnjil and all the winners! They were awesome.
ty Tang!!!
I will always have a place in my heart for you NoAnjl,even changed my av for you*sob*,the way you called me jerk-off shows how much i mean to you,soooo moving
hhaaaaaaaaaa two of the best yet. You need to compile these for an end of the year best of captions...
I love all of you bitches! I laughed out loud at the top 3. I can't go on the internet as much at work anymore, so I am so behind on D-Listed...I don't have time to read the comments for the caption this contests. But I want y'all to know that you are friggen hilarious and I love you.
No, I'm not goin' for a pizza; I'm goin' for a placenta!
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