first?
first
holy shit!!! i was first! wow... now my life is complete.
Bitch.
who? why?
enh.
I meant Cavallari...
I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY REFUND OF TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE LOST TO THAT PIECE OF CRAP!!!!
lol... you better not mean me, MJF... i will cut you
cunt
holy shit!!! i was first! wow... now my life is complete.
amandalicious
Yeah!! Good for you!! 
one dumb blonde ho is replacing another dumb blonde ho.
what's the shock value here?
tick, tick, tick...
thanks KeLL... and happy birthday Jenner?
testing my thingie on the right...
how the heck do you get the little picture on the right?
NOTE TO Bill Gerber...Your movie is going to bomb. I can write better screenplays if I stuck a pencil in my asshole and wrote with my butt!!
amandalicious |
gravatar.com and you have to have your email in the post line
Why, for the love of God, why!?!
this bitch needs to get a life and stop trying to steal Chestica's
if I stuck a pencil in my asshole and wrote with my butt!!
KeLL-Happy Bday Jenner! | 05.26.06 - 12:39
YOU can do that too??? *eyes darting from side to side* I thought I was the only one!
who cares!!
KeLL-Happy Bday Jenner! | 05.26.06 - 12:39 pm |
KeLL - Screenplay writing assholes are everywhere! 
"She's at the top of the list," he says. "I like her innocence and her beauty."
Top of what list? Stupid bitches who need to be Donkey Punched?
Well hell she's even taken her crap-tastic hair as well.
Come on people when will hollywood take pitty on the poor pony those threads came from. Hundrads of bare assed horseys are wandering around.
team kristin
Tawny Kittain (sp?) claims Kristen shoplifted shit from her store! How low do you have to go to steal from Mrs. Whitesnake?
cluessy | 05.26.06 - 12:45 pm |
I saw that article yesterday! Funny shit!
Top of what list? Stupid bitches who need to be Donkey Punched?
jennifer
that's why she's innocent! the glazed look!
So sick of this slut . Can't she just go back to Laguna Beach?
KeLL - Screenplay writing assholes are everywhere!
fo sho | 05.26.06 - 12:42 pm
OMG!! So true...thats why movies are getting so shitty these days!!
Ba dum dum *cymbal crash*
First!
So they're doing Dumb and Dumberererer, huh...
the glazed look!
spin sycle
I thought that was from too much jizz in the eyes.
Why is she even relevant?
So they're doing Dumb and Dumberererer, huh...
pricolatino
Which one is which?
cluessy | 05.26.06 - 12:45 pm | #
why would you ever ever in life believe something coming from the mouth of crazy ass tawny kitaen lol bitch is nuts
*falls over and dies from laughter*
The people paying to see it are dumber.
YOU can do that too??? *eyes darting from side to side* I thought I was the only one!
MJF
You too!?? Can you also draw lil doo-dles?? haha Get it?? OH I'm on fire!! JK
KeLL -
And Tawny Kitaen has a store?
I cannot stand this chick... ugh.
Can you also draw lil doo-dles??
KeLL-Happy Bday Jenner! | 05.26.06 - 12:48 pm |
some are "lil". When I lose my balance over the paper they get bigger, though.
And Tawny Kitaen has a store?
fo sho | 05.26.06 - 12:49 pm |
Yeah, it's a pharmacy/shoe store.
And Tawny Kitaen has a store?
fo sho | 05.26.06 - 12:49 pm
Yeah. Bitch sells used condoms, Schlitz and crack pipes.
I would we way too scared to put a pencil there. What if you fall down and it gets rammed up into your internal organs for christ sake??!!
Yeah, it's a pharmacy/shoe store.
jennifer | 05.26.06 - 12:53 pm |
Hehe, I actually believed that shit for a second! Good one!
Yeah. Bitch sells used condoms, Schlitz and crack pipes.
Mousie is NoAnjl's Fartknocker
and the occasional coffee enema!
Is she calling Papa Joe "Daddy"?
Yeah. Bitch sells used condoms, Schlitz and crack pipes.
Mousie is NoAnjl's Fartknocker | 05.26.06 - 12:56 pm |
...and brass knuckles for beatin' down yer boyfriend!
Dang, I gotta get over to this Kitaen store! Five-finger discount, yo!
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06
Then you get a bigger one!
I would we way too scared to put a pencil there. What if you fall down and it gets rammed up into your internal organs for christ sake??!!
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 12:56 pm |
That's why I use bigger stuff, to avoid punctures.
A bigger one what? Butthole? No thank you.
"and he thinks Cavallari, 19, would fill out those Daisy Duke shorts quite nicely."
Because she's bent over every casting couch.
Oh. We're talking about the pencil.
some are "lil". When I lose my balance over the paper they get bigger, though.
MJF
big doodles... When I draw self portraits for people I hate...I draw them real nicely and then take a big shit on it... Ha that will show them for making me draw self portraits!!
Okay...now I'm just talking non-sense...
http://www.blender.com/guide/art...es.aspx?
id=1926
Here's the article where Tawny Kitaen says Kristin shop-lifted in her store. I was just reading it last night. It's actually some pretty damn funny reading, just go hear Tawny wax poetic about divorce!
...and brass knuckles for beatin' down yer boyfriend!
MJF | 05.26.06 - 12:58 pm
Pass that shit my way. hagface is pissing my ass OFF! *cracking knuckles*
Exactly Jennifer. What totally bothers me about this bitch is that her 'fame' is going to her head, fast! *wishing she could squash her before she gets more famous*
I'm stunned that Tawny didn't beat her ass down when they brought her back in! I have to say, she frightens me so.
I never got on the Laguna Beach train, thank god... That's something I'm proud of...
Oh shit!! I've been so fucking outta dlisted, I don't even know what you guys are talking about...I'm sad.
Jenner's BD? what the fuck? HAPPY BIRTHDAY bitch!
WEll I hope you can get things a little stirred up around here daya, because these whores in here today are totally putting me to sleep!
*wishing she could squash her before she gets more famous*
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks
I'm crushing your head. I'm crushing your head.
Hola, Daya!
I went to Tawny's store and shoplifted roach clips. 
Then I waited for the tiger passing by and scampered away.
I'm crushing your head. I'm crushing your head.
LOLOLOLOLOL
She doesnt seem so innocent to me!
Why are you crushing MY head Jennifer? *cue Chestica confused look*
Stoney. Then entertain us, bitch! 
Are the tiger tales back today?
reality whore. Is that like the worst scum on the face of the earth?
I had a dream last night....I walked into a room and I saw Chestica riding Flavor Flav...it was scary, because in the dream I felt anger and jelousy. HAHAHHAA, I know, weird.
Ok, my supervisor is starting to piss me off... and I like her. I'm gonna get something for lunch before I give her something to think about the whole long holiday weekend.
*busts out Asslee Simpson jig*
*crosses eyes*
*performs triple axle*
HO, DOWN! HO, DOWN!
Why are you crushing MY head Jennifer? *cue Chestica confused look*
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks
No, Stoney, not you, ever, my lovey. It's a Kids In The Hall reference. Ahhh, I don't know how to get myself out of this one.
Prico: Tell her to supervise THIS! *points to middle finger*
Dukes of Hazzard was one of the worst I've ever seen. I fast forwarded through 80% of it. What a load of crap. Kristin will be perfect for it.
Somebody shat and didn't flush.
*barfing
*gagging
*barfing.
Fuckin A! Me not having ever heard or seen Kids in the Hall not only makes me an outsider at work, now in dlisted!! *sigh*
Are the tiger tales back today?
BonZNMe | 05.26.06 - 1:11 pm
Why not? We're all just loafing waiting for either Happy Hour or an interesting post.
Stoney - that was hawt!
Innocent? This bitch as been around the block with tons of men and is now trying to use Chestica's life. (Isn't it bad enough that Ashley is copying her, too?) Cavallari looks like a user from the word go.
Pass that shit my way. hagface is pissing my ass OFF! *cracking knuckles*
Mousie is NoAnjl's Fartknocker | 05.26.06 - 1:03 pm |
...and when you're finished with that one, I have a little "situation" I'd like you to deal with.
i LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE kids in the hall!
I still don't know who the fuck hagface is.
My server knocked me off for like 10 whole minutes just now. I thought I was going to die! *gasping for air* It's not pretty around here when I get cut off from my D-listed. 
Any celebrity with a new STD?? I really liked the Parasite has Herpes post.
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 1:14 pm |
You're no loser! I luv ya!
********
I had a dream last night....I walked into a room and I saw Chestica riding Flavor Flav...it was scary, because in the dream I felt anger and jelousy. HAHAHHAA, I know, weird.
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:12 pm |
Are you feeling OK?
Happy Friday Bitches!
*yawn*
GO YANKEES
Someone get the defibrulator! MJF needs a jumpstart stat!!! And don't correct my spelling whores.
I had a dream about my manny. I had to fight Prico off for most of it, but I found him highly enjoyable. (the manny, that is...Prico just mostly got in the way)
Stoney:
I never saw Kids in the Hall, either.
Hagface is my husband, aka Nick Carter
A tiger bit him in the ass yesterday when he was trying to steal MK's crank.
A tiger? Is he hanging out with Brangelina again?
why don't one of yall make yourself useful and create a fucking time machine so it can be 4:30 already!
Jennifer: I don't know!
MJF! *administering CPR and fingering her dirt star*
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 1:18 pm
Your avie should have sound. And it should sound like this; "Duuuuuhhh". Cuz that's all I can think of when I see that black hole where a human should be.
what kind of commie bastards expect us to work on the Friday before Memorial Day?! 
WTF? tiger? why can't you just stick to the ol' normal dog fucking, jesus.
Mousie is NoAnjl's Fartknocker | 05.26.06 - 1:20 pm
*clamping down like a steel vice* Hey....HEY....that's a good way to lose a finger!!!!
Careful with that dirt star. Daya said someone didn't flush, and I have a feeling they don't wipe either. *glares at MJF*
i watched Reno 911 last night (rare treat to have access to cable) ... damn that was some funny shit.
Daya, do you have that disgusted and embarassed feeling clinging to you, like everyone, who looks at you, knows what you dreamt?
I want a post with herpes MK!!!!
hehe MJF. That last part in my name was left over from when the trool was in here posing as me and saying how great Paris is. The horror!!!
*yakking* Ugh. Thanks, girls. Now my finger smells like poo.
MJF, I'm done with Hagface for now. Bitch is back in Sassy's outhouse eating kibble and drinking weasel piss. Who do you want me to have a word with now?
jennifer: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!! fuck yeah, Chestica was wearing that horns shit.
why don't one of yall make yourself useful and create a fucking time machine so it can be 4:30 already!
Morticia
I can make it look cool, just can't make it run. Any engineers out there?
why don't one of yall make yourself useful and create a fucking time machine so it can be 4:30 already!
Morticia
I can draw one with my ass...jk
Daya my lover...how are you!!!??
okay, so KeLL will draw the diagram with her ass, and Jennifer will make it look cool...who can make that shit run?
, and I have a feeling they don't wipe either. *glares at MJF*
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 1:22 pm
Oh yeah...like frogs have opposable thumbs to efficiently grasp the t.p. with. Whatever! *licks own ass with ginormously long tongue*
Daya, I know that awful feeling all too well.
im here bitches.
Let's fight bitches!!! I miss the old days when LBFF came insulting and saying shit...and we'll call her an herpetic cunt...ohh the days.
easy cum, easy go for chestica. one dumb untalented bimbo is as good as the next, imo.
Hello everyone....Happy Birthday Jenner!
Morticia, I can't make it run but I can juggle a can on my nose. Does that count? *worshipping a sausage*
i know dayanara!! i want some controversy! i want to get all worked up so my fingers shake when i'm typing b/c i can't get my retorts out fast enough!
HELLO KELL! love you bitch.
did Skanbot leave forever? oh shit.
Who do you want me to have a word with now?
Mousie is NoAnjl's Fartknocker | 05.26.06 - 1:24 pm |
Ex-louse. And is it wrong of me to want to type out all of his vital information right here on the internet for all to see (including possible murderers)? Hey...a girl can hope.
Maybe we should ask Shitney for her time-machine. She's an expert at charging ahead at warp speed.
WTF sammy?! you fuckin slacker. where you been, bitch?
why don't one of yall make yourself useful and create a fucking time machine so it can be 4:30 already!
Morticia
I'll hop in my Delorean and go pick you up!
no shit stoney. she went from pop star to trailerpark star in a matter of nanoseconds.
i think i'll give that ho a call. her trailer is just down the street from mine.
i had a rough night, been busy this AM, can't stay long bitches, just wanted to give a word up.
Oh damn...You guys are seriously making me laugh!! My troll of a boss has been giving me more fuckin work, he knows I aint werking!! That fuck rag!
who can make that shit run?
Morticia | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:27 pm |
Hahahahaha...did you even know you were typing that?
i've always wondered, if the simpsons live in dallas, how come i never see their asses
fo-sho, when back to the future came out with that car...i thought that was the coolest shit i had ever seen!
Uh, because they live in LA now? Just a guess.
hope you had fun last night sammy!!
okay, so KeLL will draw the diagram with her ass, and Jennifer will make it look cool...who can make that shit run?
Morticia
Shit, It will work after we get done with it..AND it will have class...but who says your ass gets to use it when it works!!?
MJF | 05.26.06 - 1:29 pm - I came thisclose to doing that last week. Oh, and thanks for the licking ass visual. Loves it!
Sammy - sup?
New post! *running*
Morticia | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:32 pm |
Me too! I was carcking up when VH1's I Love the 80's was making fun of the fact that you couldn't park it next to anyone because you wouldn't be able to get the doors open.
shit
carcking = cracking
so what's going on?...let see, my stalker made an attemp to come back, claiming her/him/itself as an argentinian trash, Daya and Sammy are here, mousie and mpcmike (hello my babies!!!)
wait, i have to catch on...
well KeLL, since you're the artist of the bunch...you can sure use it first, but you better get your ass over here pronto!!
why don't one of yall make yourself useful and create a fucking time machine so it can be 4:30 already!
Morticia
I'll hop in my Delorean and go pick you up!
fo sho
Does the Flux Capacitor work?
Hi vanina. YOu have a hater = you have arrived.
Where are the stalkers!! please come back !! motherfuckers!!! I'm bored!!
We need a Britney or a Brangelina post!
Does the Flux Capacitor work?
jennifer | 05.26.06 - 1:37 pm |
No. 
You got me. I just wanted to take Morticia out on a date.
Jennifer how would you make the time machine nice??
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:39 pm | #
Totally!!!!!
bring it fo sho! we don't need no flux cupacitor!
Well, we could diss each other but that wouldn't be any fun.
Canned penis!!!!! in corn sauce!
So sick of this slut . Can't she just go back to Laguna Beach?
Vanina Argentinian Trash | 05.26.06 - 12:46 pm | #
come out come out wherever you are!!!!
Canned penis!!!!! in corn sauce!
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:41 pm | #
i want some of that, please???
bring it fo sho! we don't need no flux cupacitor!
Morticia | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:40 pm |
Yay! I'll just grab some of my cassettes and it'll be all good!
Does this film producer even realize that the spoiled little ho doesn't have any acting experience. She's never taken any acting lessons.
*craves Shitney post*
Vanina!!! I didn't know you had a stalker!!! Motherfucker!! you are one of us now!! woohooo
Fried Balls with Plum sauce!!!
*pacing the room and picking nose*
Let's talk about sex on drugs. HAHAHHA
KeLL, you're an artist, too?
Well I can draw a time machine with my ass...and write screen plays.. thats about it...
I have been writing a novel. Sent part of it to Penis and she thought it was pretty hawt.
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 1:44 pm | #
seems i do!!!!
*shows Daya her D-listed VIP card*
and i love plum sauce!!!!
Kirsten is ugly. She has mean, brown eyes.
It feels so good to pee when you are really stoned.
jennifer - what the FUCK?!
Peeing is always good! jennifer.
*looks at vanina's card...let's her in.
Daya wanted to talk about sex on drugs. I'm getting warmed up.
what if you get fucked in the ass by one of the horns on flavor's head shit while you're high on meth? HAHAHA
hey hookers! refresh!
Sex on drugs.
Hmm.
*scratching crotch*
*pacing the room and picking nose*
Mousie | 05.26.06 - 1:44 pm |
Hey...don't be flickin' that shit now. *wipes booger off cheek*
MJF, that was a clot from yesterday.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
My bad! *wiping booger/clot on mousie's back*
what if you get fucked in the ass by one of the horns on flavor's head shit while you're high on meth? HAHAHA
Dayanara
*runs from room screaming*
Does best Parisite impression: That's hot!
MJF, when I was 9 I had a booger collection on the wall beside my bed. Swear. One night my dad came in and said "Those look like nose picking" and wiped them off, dammit. HAHAHAHA! True story.
guess she works cheaper
Mousie | 05.26.06 - 2:08 pm
*cringing* UNCLE!!!! UNCLE!!!! You SO win the gross-fest!!!!
*kissing self*
I'd like to thank the academy..........
When I was a kid, I hated hot dogs cooked on the grill, cuz my dad would always char the shit out of 'em. One night, we were having his infamous burnt-beyond-recognition hot dogs, and I was at the table for 2 hrs. and hadn't finished ONE! My parents sent me straight to bed. I still had a mouthfull of burnt hot dog. I spit it out into an empty shoebox in my closet. They found it on moving day....4 YEARS LATER!!!!!
What if...you get fingered by New York while you're high on weed?
Mousie booger girl!
I once hated the soup I was being forced to eat, I tried to spit it out in a heating vent. Shit dripped down from the palyroom into the sitting room on the floor below. Moms was a bit assed out by that.
Mousie...we were separated at birth!
I totally snorted @ the soup story!!
MJF - *blowing kisses and air biscuits at you*
Jeezus Mousies. You are one disgusting mother fucker.
Morticia, lucky for you I work with some engineers. We design & build custom machinery! Time machine in progress.
*grabbing air kisses/biscuits from mid-air* Want some hot dog?
Mousekarooski...haha!!
go away kristen and take talan and lc and the whole crew with you!
Good lord, can't leave you alone for half an hour...
Stoney - takes one to know one, sloot!
KeLL - I am so demented!
MJF purveyor of chewed food - I used to make my dad use a pan when he grilled burgers on the grill, I would only eat the skin of a potato, and I picked apart bacon because I hated the fat. Oh, and I still had my Halloween candy at Easter. Usually covered in white shit by then.
What if...you get fingered by New York while you're high on weed?
Dayanara
As long as she trimmed her nails and I kept my eyes closed.
I'm so fucking bored.....
I love kid stories...anybody else got some funny stories?? Anybody??
Mousie...I was told, on more than one occassion, that I only liked beige food. You know, like bread, noodles, butter, crackers...that kind of shit. I used to believe it, but it turns out my parents just couldn't cook worth a shit. I eat lots of stuff now...but I still won't eat hot dogs that taste like carbon. BTW...How old were you when you found out how difficult it was to flush brussels sprouts down the toilet? I was 7.
Oh...about the flushing down the toilet thing...I was 9 when I figured out the same was true for hamsters.
kids stories....I puked on my lentils and then gave them to my sister who took 2 spoons before my mom noticed and slapped me on the face...I was still laughing, my sister had NO clue what was happening.
Mousie said booger stories.. have a good un
kid you not - total truth... was at rich aunt's house with boyfriend and siblings.. totally bored, sitting in 'parlor' waiting for adults to finish visiting. Picked my nose, flicked the booger, landed on oil painting above mantel, picture fell and went crooked.....
honest to god true story
MJF - didn't try the sprouts but when I was 5 I discovered that if you release the emergency brake on the station wagon, it will roll into the side of the house. I also discovered that if you eat an earthworm, you will yak it back up!
I actually flushed a banana. Moms was less than amused but I think the station wagon thing got her worse.
One time, my my mom made pasta vizoule (sp?) and I actually liked that stuff so I ate two bowls. I woke up in the middle of the night with my head lying in a puddle of my own puke, binge-drinker style, because I was allergic to the beans she used. On a lighter note, I've never sleep-vomitted since.
I ate a spider... crunched his guts, legs and all.. totally gross
my dog has been licking my elbow wound from my wreck last week... it's hideous.. pus, itchy, scabby, but omg.. that tongue feels good on my sore.. ugh
Not a funny story, but a neat little thing ....
You know how milk is good for ya, right? Well, when you pour a glass of milk, look on top of it. There will be a shadow of a heart. It works 98% of time. It has become "a little something fun" between son and I. You have to pour it in a glass bitches, don't be peering down a carton!
To go with the moldy hotdog story. My little sis came home drunk one night and puked over the side of the bed by the wall. She left the mess there so long it molded. She paid a friend to clean it up.
okay, just remembered this one... we were required to wear hose to work, the crotch of my hose had a hole, had a panty shield in there. Okay okay, panty shield slid down hole, inside of hose and stopped at calf. Went through most of the day at work like that....
Kid story. When I was little I put my head through an iron fence and then couldn't get back out. I was stuck there until my Dad found me and had to bend the prongs. Actually, he probably saw me sooner and that was his way of babysitting me.
I don't know why I never felt it...maybe it was on the outside of hose. I remember looking down and dying from embarrassment. I was helping a customer at time, swore she saw it.
these are hilarious guys... omg... i'm laughing so hard, I'm farting garlic (left over from lunch)
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 2:40 pm OMG! I just snarfed!
Remember thos big lollipops that were shaped like a ping pong ball? I once dropped it on the rug before I went to sleep. When I wokd up in the morning I couldn't understand why parts of the shag (yes shag) rug were stuck to it. I picked it up, discovered they were ants, and flung it. Crashed right through my bedroom window and onto the roof. That time pops was seeing red.
sometimes i can't stop chewing the inside of my mouth- sometimes to the point of bleeding. 
yall are some sick mofo's! this is some good shit!
Kid story. When I was little I put my head through an iron fence and then couldn't get back out. I was stuck there until my Dad found me and had to bend the prongs. Actually, he probably saw me sooner and that was his way of babysitting me.
NoAnjl | 05.26.06 - 2:45 pm
STAWP! I CAN'T STAWP LAUGHING!
Mpcmike!:: OMG!!! I do the same!
I shat in the kiddie pool once.
i used to cinch my belt so fucking tight. like abnormal tight. i would yank and yank to the point of pain - and then go to my mom and ask if she would yank on it for me. i don't know if i had some phobia that my pants were going to fall off or what - but it made my mom so mad that i did that
hotdog puke is like the worst... i'm gagging thinking about it.. that weiner smell is horrible
I shat in the driveway and brought it inside to my mother.
I grind my teeth at night.. I'm supposed to wear a guard, but I look like Bucky Beaver when I wear it
Daya - right out of Caddyshack!
that weiner smell is horrible
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 2:52 pm
I smells me some Ball Park Franks!
my brother threw june bugs in my hair once, so i caught him and held his head in the toilet water for a nice while, he he screamed and kicked....oh the good days
my son and i pee in the ocean every year- we call it 'shark repellant'.
I put my little sister through army training. I made her eat grass and leaves. I told her she had to be able to survive in the wild. The stupid little shit did it.
I shat in the driveway and brought it inside to my mother.
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 2:53 pm |
OH NO YOU DIDN'T! HAHAHAHAHA!
Morticia - I am so skeered of June bugs to the point of phobia. Of course, I haven't seen one since I was a kid, but still. *shudders* BTW, you an evil beeotch!
I shat in the kiddie pool once.
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 2:50 pm | #
You just reminded me of my son last year on vacation. He was in the crowded "big" pool while I was sunbathing and he screamed out to me "Mom, my scab just came off!"
When my bro was little, he found my sister's Kotex and didn't know what they were so he used them as mattresses for his GI Joe dolls in the barracks he built. And my sis once sniffed a pea up her snoot just cuz I told her to.
OMG, all these stories are too funny! And then there are some sick ones - you know who you are
Mousie Waltzes with NoAnjl | 05.26.06 - 2:56 pm | #
you mean you never tied a string to one's leg and made an airplane out of it? it's really cool!
sometimes i can't stop chewing the inside of my mouth- sometimes to the point of bleeding.
mpcmike | 05.26.06 - 2:48 pm |
Me too It's a horrible nervous thing I've done since I was a kid.
Well one time at summer camp these bitches got me to sneak out to the highway and hitchhike with them. When a car turned around we would run back up the hill. I had no idea what hitchhiking was...I was just trying to be cool. But the couselors caught us and my parents gave me a fucking spanking!
I've fucking bust out laughing so hard and I don't care!
Okay how about this. The very FIRST time I was allowed in church instead of Sunday school, we were late and we entered during the moment of silence. I saw my nanny and screamed at the top of mu wittle wungs "HI SALLY!". Yep - wasn't allowed back until I was 30, by which time I had switched religions anyway.
when my brother was like 3 or 4, i convinced him that vinegar was the best shit ever and kept pretending to drink and make him jealous. when he was screaming that i give him some, i gave him a big honkin tablespoon full. i'll never forget the look on his face as his eyes bugged out and he yacked all over the kitchen floor. my mom was way pissed at me for that
I yelled at the store "ewwwww you farted, and smells like a rat's ass" when my mom let one out.
one day at band camp....
huh, Stoney????
Yes, Mousie, I did. I infuriated her. I would poop right beside my potty on the floor, never in it.
sometimes i can't stop chewing the inside of my mouth- sometimes to the point of bleeding.
mpcmike | 05.26.06 - 2:48 pm |
me too - once I was doing it after the dentist, mouth all frozen - suddenly my mouth started pouring blood - I'd chewed AN ACTUAL HOLE in there - I pressed a finger on either side & I could almost feel them touching - too cool!
I shat in the kiddie pool once.
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 2:50 pm | #
You just reminded me of my son last year on vacation. He was in the crowded "big" pool while I was sunbathing and he screamed out to me "Mom, my scab just came off!"
NoAnjl | 05.26.06 - 2:57 pm | #
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
oh stoney, spankings were the worst! the day that wooden spoon broke (though it was across my ass) was the best fuckin day of my life!
I convinced my little sister, who was deathly afraid of thunderstorms, that every time she flushed the toilet it rains. My parents seriously couldn't figure out what her problem was.
I used to show my sister my shit when I had diarrhea.
mpcmike | 05.26.06 - 2:58 pm
I ain't touching dat shit!
My nanny used to make us cocoa from Hershey's unsweetend powder but I didn't know she added sugar. I once waited until she wasn't looking and took a huge spooful of that shit. It was like a flock of geese had crapped in my mouth!
Oh and I used to spit at people. Sooooooo moms purposely baited me into doing it and promptly threw a glass of milk in my face. I never did that shit again.
OK, here's a kid story: Anyone in the NY/Hudson Valley area in the late 70's/early 80's remembers the Gypsy Moth Caterpillar infestation? Anyhoo, I was playing outside, got called in for dinner. My head felt itchy. I scratched and out fell 3 of those fuckers. I barfed my dinner right there, on my plate, in front of everyone.
I don't remember gross things I did, but my brother decided to paint a CALENDAR on my wall when I was a baby (he's 2 & half yrs older) with his poopy diaper
He did a grid, numbers, everything
He also decided to give a puppy a bath by flushing him in the toilet - thank goodness puppy was FAT! "phew"
My friend and I would build pyramids of aluminum cans in the middle of the road and wait for cars to knock them over. Once we got this really drunk bitch who just keep screaming, "they put cans in the road" and laughing her ass off.
We would also sit right beside the road where it curved 90 deg. in the lotus position to freak people out. We're lucky we didn't get run over.
When I was little, I called my lil sis into room and pointed to bed and said "Look, I just pooped on the bed, I am gonna get into so much trouble" and then I picked it up and ate it. It was a tootsie roll.
one of my idiot friends convinced his like 3 or 4yr. old nephew to eat some 'pickles' that were actually jalapeno slices. cruelest thing i've ever seen.
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 2:46 pm | #
You gotta be kidding...I woulda fucking died on the spot
jessucka - just out of curiosity - ar you an anal person?? ~ in a freudian sort of way?
i love anal!!!
mpcmike | 05.26.06 - 3:03 pm | #
my dad did something similar to me with Baileys - told me it was chocolate milk - i took a HUGE swig
Haven't been able to drink Baileys ever since.
jennifer | 05.26.06 - 3:02 pm | #
there goes that barfin shit again!
I was at my grandparents house before my grandma's funeral and overheard my dad telling someone that 'he bets so-and-so won't show up'. When so-and-so arrived and the funeral and starting talking to my dad, I went up to them and said 'see daddy, I told you she would show up'.
i love anal!!!
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:04 pm | #
noooooooooooooooooooooo!
I have 7 siblings and we all shared same bath... we had biggest turd contest... curled up, furry, ghost (disappeared), pebbles, logs, floaters etc. We had to call in all others as if to judge.
my friends and i used to string toilet paper across the road in the wee hours of the night, and people would always stop and get out and then end up cussing up a storm cuz most of them were drunk as hell...i don't know why, but we found that shit so funny. later, my brother adapted the system and used duct tape. now THAT would suck.
I used to pee into plastic sandwich bags and lodge them under the tires of people's parked cars, then hide and watch as they backed up. Just like a water balloon.
Morticia | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:01 pm OMG! We got the wooden spoon, too! (Are you my cousin?)
Jessucka, when I was like 1-1/2, my moms got me all dressed up cuz my aunt was coming over to see me for the first time. She stuck me in my playpen and went to answer the door. By the time they came back in, I'd taken a crap, pulled my didie off, and smeared the poo all over the playpen, my toys and myself. And I was proud of it.
My first grade teacher was a huge bitch. During silent reading time one day, I to pee really bad so I got up and went to ask her for permission to go to the restroom. She said "No" because I didn't raise my hand. I went back to my seat, rasied my hand for what seemed to be forever and she still didn't call on me. Then I just pissed right there in my seat. The funny thing is that there was a tornado drill and we had to move the desks against a wall together and get under them. After all the desks were moved, there was a big yellow puddle in the middle of the floor and that bitch had to clean it up. Hehe.
yeah my brother used to make "potions" and one of them was like ever fucking liquid in the fridge, with a touch of meat tenderizer and he tried to get me to drink that shit. i was like hell to the fuckin no.
then my parents said i could have died.
what a dick.
and yes, i'm the moron kid that actually fell for the old 'chocolate candy' that was really ex-lax.
my granny after 13 kids wore no panties or bra... my brother and I lying on floor watching Romper Room, granny steps over us.... OMG our eyes!.... eeeeeek... scarred for life!
mpc-
i was the asshole who put it in the candy
jennifer | 05.26.06 - 3:06 pm | #
there goes that barfin shit again!
NoAnjl | 05.26.06 - 3:05 pm |
Most of my stories do involve it. I always had a very queasy stomach. Can't watch Fear Factor for shit. Not even the commercials. *gag*
sammy, YOU must have some great kid stories about yourself! Share, bitch!
my brother and i were banned from 5 different daycares when we were younger cause the bitches tried to seperate us and we would trip the bitches with out sleepy bear blanket and fucking go dead weight (make ur body go limp) so they couldnt move us.
I gave a 3 year old neighbor a dried dog turd I saw outside and told him it was a piece of meat, he put it in his mouth, barfed, then his mom slapped me, then my mom slapped her....the rest is history.
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:06 pm | #
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:07 pm |
oh shit! that makes me think of drop dead fred... "it's the megabitch, aaaaahhhhhh!!!!"
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:07 pm | #
i was like 10 at the time. i stayed in the john for hours.
we would always "play sick" during recess so we could be the first at nintendo and hog that shit so all the other kids had to watch us play
One time my two older brothers were tossing a paper airplane in their room upstairs, and they decided to set it on fire and throw it around. I went upstairs to tell them that it was time for dinner and WHOA, one of the beds was on fire! WTF?!! Dad ran up and he and my oldest brother carried the burning bed down the stairs and out of the house. My brothers were permanently in trouble for that one, especially since the bed needed replacing. I never did anything bad like that. *snort*
I asked some guy at Target what happened to his leg (it had been amputated) and the asshole got really fuckin' mad. I was like 4! My mom had to apologize and everything. What a dick.
I have 7 siblings and we all shared same bath... we had biggest turd contest... curled up, furry, ghost (disappeared), pebbles, logs, floaters etc. We had to call in all others as if to judge.
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:06 pm | #
My brother once had to cut up a shit with a butter knife - it seriously CURLED UP AND OVER THE BOWL
My mom made him throw out the knife after (he wasn't going to).
Oh my lard!! you guys have crazy stories!! I dont' think I've done anything weird or gross..
i love anal!!!
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:04 pm |
LOL
LMAO GUYS!!!
Haven't been able to drink Baileys ever since.
jenner | 05.26.06 - 3:05 pm |
Just had a Bailey's ice cream shake for lunch. Hehe.
Haven't been able to drink Baileys ever since.
jenner | 05.26.06 - 3:05 pm |
Just had a Bailey's ice cream shake for lunch. Hehe.
my granny after 13 kids wore no panties or bra... my brother and I lying on floor watching Romper Room, granny steps over us.... OMG our eyes!.... eeeeeek... scarred for life!
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:07 pm |
Ewwww. I think we're related.
I purposely skinned my knee at recess so I could go inside in the air-conditioning! A diva even then!
one time one of the neighbor boys and i got into a fight and i called him a douche bag (i was like 10), so then he threw a giant fucking log over the fence and it knocked me unconscious
so then his mom sais that "words are worse than physical violence" and didnt punish him
my mom said "oh really you dumb cunt?" bam bam bam fucking decked the bitch out.
we moved.
Jesus, see what I started with my booger story? Yeek!
Jennifer, remember grade school? If someone ralphed, half the kids laughed and the others ralped. I was (and still am) a ralpher. If I even see a commercial for Fear Factor I start dry heaving.
A tad, Morticia!
do you guys remember the puke dust that the janitor used to put on puke??? and then sweep it up?? what the hell was that? cedar chips or wood mulch?
in the CG, we were all talkin shit to each other and some guy made a crack about my ass. the next morning i took (what i thought) was his coffee cup (one with a screw-on cap) and went outside where our station dog took her dumps. i put a big steaming turd in his cup, screwed the cap back on, and set it kindof in the sun to cook...later in the day, i was underway and we got a call to come back NOW...they thought one of the other guys had done it..but nope..it was me. bad thing was, it turned out to be the wrong cup and belonged to this guy that had been such a sweetheart to me (i was still the newbie). my boss was like "if you like picking up dog poop so much, you can do it fo the next four months..."
okay here is a good memory...
remember memograph paper and the smell of it after the teacher ran it off???? purple ink?? omg...i love that smell
...the poor guy had gone to take a drink of his coffee and was like WTF is that smell?!?! he opened his cup and WHAMO!
Mousie | 05.26.06 - 3:11 pm |
Oh, Mousie, I was soooo one of those kids. Even smelling it made me.
yeah my brother used to make "potions" and one of them was like ever fucking liquid in the fridge, with a touch of meat tenderizer and he tried to get me to drink that shit. i was like hell to the fuckin no.
then my parents said i could have died.
what a dick.
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:07 pm | #
me & my brother did that, but we made a "sandwich" out of everything in the fridge - thing was like 3 ft tall - we both did take a bite, but it was, um, not very good.......
We also thoguht we could make ketchup - we had tomatoes, vinegar, what else would we need? Wasn't good ketchup
We used to make my younger sister and this neighborhood girl that was her age pretend they were Wendy Richter and the Fabulous Moolah and make them wrestle. And I mean, we made them really beat each other up.
My brother once had to cut up a shit with a butter knife - it seriously CURLED UP AND OVER THE BOWL
My mom made him throw out the knife after (he wasn't going to).
jenner | 05.26.06 - 3:10 pm | #
OMG!!!!!
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:13 pm | #
that was like dope to me.... mmmm...
This one's for you mousie. At 13 I was pissed as I had devloped a woman's body, and all these older town skeezes kept trying to hit on me. They didn't realize how young I was. So I went and got a cucumber, and walked around town with it, cradling it in my arms and petting it. I said shit like, "you're such a good cucumber. Who's mommy's toy. My favorite litte pet," etc.
after robin hood prince of thieves came out i would swing from the balcony of our two story house and land on the couches downstairs while shooting my bow and arrow at my brother.
my parents finally moved the couches cause they didnt want my ass to die
Happy birthday Jenner!!!-(just read)
and Tabatha saw your pic --you are smokin'!!!
oh you were that crazy girl jessica
PUKE DUST! I remember that! Ours was green.
My dad used to say "stick it in your ear" and I didn't know that was derogatory so I once said it to a chaperon on a field trip to D.C. I found out that night just how wrong I was, dammit.
thanx sunny... omg.. and after all these stories... I guess I never have to worry about meeting your guys....
My little sister was so scared of the dark when she was a kid, she would pee on the carpet at night and blame it on the dog! We had to replace the fucking carpet, and she didn't tell us until just a couple years ago that it was actually HER!
my sister is ten years older than me, so when i was 8, she was a senior in high school, so whenever her boyfriends would come over i would always like pee with the door open and not wash my hands and jump on then and i mooned people a lot
my parents would always be like, sam moon em, so i would.
Sunny!! hiya!
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:13 pm |
I always thought it was cat litter.
Morticia | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:13 pm |
You just reminded me of a poo story: We used to live at the end of a dead end street and always had the biggest and best snow piles in all of the neighborhood. My sister and I used to dig snow tunnels in them. When we were out, the neighborhood brats came over and ruined them. When it snowed the next times after that, and we rebuilt, we used to take a pail of water out with us. Whenever our dog took a dump, we CAREFULLY scooped it into the middle of a snowball, dunked it in water and waited to pelt the other kids. Got beat for it, but it was worth it!
sunnykinz!
Tabatha | 05.26.06 - 3:13 pm
ditto machines!
So I went and got a cucumber, and walked around town with it, cradling it in my arms and petting it. I said shit like, "you're such a good cucumber. Who's mommy's toy. My favorite litte pet," etc.
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 3:15 pm | #
in a self defense class the instructor told us various stories of pople acting like lunatics to keep attackers (or plain old harassers) away - one woman was a stripper who had to walk downtown T.O. late at night, was ALWAYS getting harassed, so she ended up walking down the street with a lightbulb in her mouth - TOTALLY worked, no one ever harassed her after that
oh shit jennifer! that's genius!
NOANJLKINS!!!!!!!!!!!
and ALLL!! Missed you guys!
My little sister was deathly afraid of moss, so while we were fishing I covered my entire head with it and started chasing her. I've never heard her scream so loud.
I shat in the kiddie pool once.
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 2:50 pm
I shat in the driveway and brought it inside to my mother.
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 2:53 pm |
Me too...only it was in my neighbor's sand box. Damn...my internet sucks today!!! I'm missing all the good stories!!!!!
sunny | 05.26.06 - 3:16 pm | #
thanks!!!!!!!!
Are we just telling any stories. Im lost.
Tabatha, you are bringing up a lot of sentimental memories for me. Magic puke dust, mimeograph chemical smell, ahhh, the good old days!
Our janitor was hilarious. When he'd come to scatter the magic puke dust, he had a can of air deodorizer and instead of just spraying it around the pukey area, he'd lift one arm and pretend to spray his armpit and then lift the other arm and do the same, LMAO.
Daya! Hiya! (left comment for you....)
My little sister was deathly afraid of moss, so while we were fishing I covered my entire head with it and started chasing her. I've never heard her scream so loud.
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 3:19 pm | #
I can honestly say I've never heard of anyone being afraid of MOSS
A girl i know is afraid of cotton balls
http://www.shtick.org/Misc/ryans.htm
if you haven't heard this, it bears repeating.
Good idea, Jenner!
one time i was mad at my brother and i was throwing the car keys to him and they fuckin took a chunk (a little hole) out of his forehead
yeah whenever someone throws car keys to him he runs
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 3:15 pm
Oh
my
gawd
where's a prico story? he was little once, too! Well, maybe not. BWAJAHAHAHAHAHA!
i am laughing so much from these stories, my tampon just leaked because i am in hysterics!
TRUE STORY
off topic...not that anyone's on topic BUT is gravatar taking long to approve for anyone else--or just me?
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 3:15 pm |
That reminded me of the Log Lady from Twin Peaks.
we used to roll tootsie rolls and put em in my sister's shoes and make em like like the dog pooed in her shoe.
one day she was a mega bitch (she still is fucking mormon cunt) so instead of a tootsie roll, i really took a dump in her shoe, so when she ws like haha guys very funny, she picked it up and fucking screamed. her hand smelled like poo for weeks. dumb bitch.
Dancing Queen - ABBA on radio....
*throwing hand to Sammy*
This stupid cunt in my office just screamed fuck you to me. Couldn't handle the fact that when she accused me of being wrong it was actually her fault.
I had diarreah once...I was in the car by the window, I started shitting, my cousin was like...ewww get out!! I said, ok, and tried to get out by the other door of course, so I shat all over one cousin and my sister's lap, my sister also puked.....the car was never the same.
no Sunny, I submitted one 2 days ago..nothing
sunny | 05.26.06 - 3:22 pm | #
mine is taking forever too and its a pic of my pimpmobile!
you can dance, you can dance, havin the time of our lives, oooh see that girl...
ahhhh... gay...
Why the fuck would you be afraid of moss?
Fancy, share some twisted childhood story!
KitKatWoman... I have a panty shield somewhere around here... oh there it is .... *grabbing from ankle*
I had diarreah once...
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:23 pm |
Just the once???
JessukaFatFuck | 05.26.06 - 3:15 pm |
for some reason I'm picturing a scene from "SWAMP THING!"
Thanks for the blog love sunny!.
Fancy - stories of when we were kids. For instance, I had an awesome booger collection. Until my dad wrecked it.
Why the fuck would you be afraid of moss?
Mousie | 05.26.06 - 3:24 pm | #
Yeah...isn't that kind of like being afraid of lint?
Daya? you have a fascination with shit????
sunny - nothing here either.
stoney - beat a bitch down!
Fancy!!! Busy girl???
At school we were doing Archery and I cut my finger pretty bad. Came home to clean it up and my 4 yr old sister saw my cut and asked what happened. Now my sister was going through this nose picking phase so I told her I picked my nose and the nose monsters bit my finger. She really didn't believe me until my friend came over that night. We had fake blood and my friend put it all around her nose and on her fingers and reassured my sister that nose monsters were real. Well that stopped her nose picking..
Jenner, she though something lived under the moss. Don't ask me what.
Sammy!!!!!!!
Tabatha & KitKatWoman
thanks--they must be overloaded then...
mjf: NOOO, I had diarreah so many times, I used to shit all over the bathroom floor and even the sink,( my sister was cosntipated and trying to shit in the toilet.)
kell, that's pretty funny. except i was always the little shit who didnt take anyones word for it, i had to learn from my mistakes. so i woulda called ur ass on that one.
Stoney, Beat that bitch Naomi style!
MJF - belly button lint!
Tabatha - Daya is OBSESSED with poo!
OMG thank you for all those stories you are as fucked up as i am!Thanks!
Tabatha: NO!! ewwww. actually I HATE IT NOW!!! I had diarreah so many times when I was a kid, it's just repulsive now.
my hubby got mad at me cause i talk about james gandolfini too much. he read all the boards cause he was bored last night and was all jealous and shit. i was like shiiiitt you know its just a celebrity baby!
Valerie, you've got to share!
NO PROB DAYA --you're smokin' as well!!!
Morticia-thanks for letting me know too!
Stoney - throw a booger at er!
sunnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:28 pm |
Daya Im gonna start calling you shit britches.
sunny - glad to have you back!!!
hah britches. thats a funny word.
Man, fuck her!!! She accuses me of making a mistake, and when I point out that it's her fucking fault for erasing the recording, she flips her shit!! Sorry that I don't make mistakes whore!!
M.K posted a new thread! i think we finally grossed him out.
Fancy!!! eww.
sunny: was that you who was talking about the scat shit the other day? EWWWW.
i say reach back like a pimp and slap the ho.
Stoney: put a dog turd in her coffee.
Seriously, bitch went down the hall and screamed fuck you and slammed her door. Thank god most of the office is gone.
Shat on her desk stoney.
MOUSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
awwwwww NoAnjl thank you girl!
I was extremely pissed for a couple days there, but couldn't stay away too long!
Glad MK did the right thing though--or i might not have been able to come back
Seriously, bitch went down the hall and screamed fuck you and slammed her door. Thank god most of the office is gone.
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 3:34 pm | #
where the fuck do you work, the psych ward?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
what happened sunny?
c'mon people: THIS IS NOT TRUE.
her publicist is working overtime to make sure she's portrayed as "the new Jessica Simpson".
you know she grew up with posters of her in her little Laguna bedroom. Jess probably called her a nobody or something at a bar once after her reality show, therefore she spent a couple months club-stalking Nick Lachey so it could be reasonably leaked that they were fucking.
remember the one about her and the Deniro movie? riiight. maybe she can suck enough dick for a cameo in the next straight-to-video Lampoon's movie, but I doubt it.
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 3:34 pm |
Just pull out your knife and cut the bitch!
Sunny: what the hell happened?
I don't have horror stories like that when I was a kid... I was a good kid. LOL. I'm having a hard time keeping up, you bitches post too fast and my supervisor is still pissing me off.
I don't have horror stories like that when I was a kid... I was a good kid. LOL. I'm having a hard time keeping up, you bitches post too fast and my supervisor is still pissing me off.
Dayanara yah! it was on a Reeeeky Martin thread weeks ago ...(I think) I know GROSS!--but had to share....sorry
Yep, but this shit has been boiling up for a year obviously. I leave nasty notes in customer files about how she's fucked up their accounts (they can't see them, but it's true), and so she decides to write a note about something I've done wrong, ONLY IT'S NOT TRUE, and when I point that out, she flips out about me documenting her numerous fuck-ups. Sorry bitch! You suck!
*tosses StoneyBaloney a box cutter*
Prico: where have you been? you motherfucker!
I'm very sad because I have a wonky eye, my daughter told me. HAHAHHAHAHA.
And the reason I leave those notes in the first place is because I have to clean up her mess, and she usually hasn't even shown up to work that day!
hey stoney have you ever read the 10 ways to piss of your coworkers? you should use that shit on her, just keep fucking with her til she has a mental breakdown and is fired and u can say, "can i have a raise? ill take her salary!"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
No matter what anyone asks you, reply “Okay.”
Subscribe your coworkers to those free trade journals. Give them wacky middle names. Example: Bobby “Pud” McNeel.
Whenever anyone comes in your cubicle insist they knock or don’t speak with them. When they knock, ignore them.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Call everyone Madge
Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in “Palmolive”.
was extremely pissed for a couple days there, but couldn't stay away too long!
Glad MK did the right thing though--or i might not have been able to come back
sunny | 05.26.06 - 3:34 pm
What the fuck happened, doll?
Stoney, your office sounds like my old one. Most places you come in on Monday morning and get asked how your weekend was. There, you were more likely to get a fuck off.
pricoooooooooooo - you must have SOMETHING to share with the class!
Shit on the toilet seat and leave it for her, Stoney.
Stoney: just walk by and fart on her face.
Well, I'm out guys. I hope everyone has a fabulous funfilled weekend!!!! Until Tuesday Lovers!
sammy & Daya--oh you know over that caption this contest--it just really saddened me--
and then when I read what some people were saying as captions--
well lets just say I was extremely disgusted and left a long rant,saying how pissed I was at certain people I liked here...blah,blah,
and that I was pissed at MK as well,but luckily he didn't post winners for it !
Daya? Wonky Eye??? Ahhhhhh....
Insist on being addressed by your job title instead of your name.
Prank call your coworkers by phoning and hanging up. This works best when they are across the room and have to run for the phone.
Leave plastic figurines on their desk when they're not looking.
Type as loudly as you can and sigh loudly when you need to use the backspace key.
Sing badly and off key but do it only around specific coworkers, and only when THEY can hear you.
Insist that everything be submitted to you in writing on the proper forms, even if they're just asking you how you are today. (Create 'greeting' forms etc that they must use.)
Fuck. We have communal bathrooms and she locks her office door.
bye NoAnjl - have a great one
Sammy: HAHAHAHHAA, awesome!
Morticia, where are you? There's a hater on the Crumbs.
Oh Damn Sammy!!! I fucking hurt from laughing too hard!!
Bye NoAnjil!
Bye NoAnjl you hot sloot! MUA!
Bye, NoAnjl, my love
Prico: where have you been? you motherfucker!
I'm very sad because I have a wonky eye, my daughter told me. HAHAHHAHAHA.
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:38 pm |
Awww... Dayi Wonka... I was shopping, got some green/yellow/red sneakers. Anger management.
Bye NoAnjl! *runs and gives big hug*
Mousie--I guess I took more offense to it then others--but it's all good now--
StoneyBaloney she locks her door when she goes to the bathroom??
btw, I think sunny was pissed at that Caption This picture
tabatha: yes.
sunny, you mean the caption this of the twat blowing the guy with the kid in the room?
Bye NoAnjlkins!
No, I just meant that I can't walk by and fart in her face like Daya suggested because she's locked herself in.
read my posts stoney, i have more.
yes guys that's the one
Bye noAnjl!
ok prico, I forgive you.
Sammy - I've seen those hahahahaha
Speaking of work related things, I have this posted up on my office wall:
http://www.crystalpro.com/coolst...stuff/
dump2.htm
we were gonna post it IN the washrooms but thougth that might be a bit much
My favourite is Uncle ted
Ok here is my story(no judging fuckers ok):It was on a Christmas day a couple of years ago.I was at my boyfriends house and he has a huge family,so there were a lot of children and my boyfrend dressed as a Santa to make children happy and shit.
I always had this fantasy about fucking with Santa(i really dont know why?i just had it forever)
So when i came to their house and saw him dressed as Santa i was horny as hell!So we sneakd in this little room where they store food and i started giving him a blow job and in the middle of it his mother and his niece opend the door and well cought as at the act!
To make everything worse i had to stay and have dinner with all of them and then suddenly out of the blue his niece asked,"grandma what were Santa and Valerie doing?.I almost chocked on my food!
And lets just say i was never ever asked to attend their christmas dinners or anything else!
Now if i ever meet his mother i wont to die of emberrasment!
Left you a note, baby girl... you hot!
my brother would always fuck with his co workers.
he had this sticky citrus juice stuff, and hed pour it on a paper towel and rub it all over this a-holes desk so it would always be sticky.
then he would leave a tuna sandwich in this drawer the guy never used.
and he would crank call him and hang up, like every 5 minutes.
oh stoney, that sucks.
I did that once...I had the nerve to say...Sorry, are you ok?...did the air lift my skirt? that was awesome, the bitch doesn't work here anymore.
i always had a thing for santa too valerie. when my freddybear puts his santa stuff on during christmas, lets say hes well taken care of
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:39 pm | #
Sammy that shit dont work if you work ALONE!
as in ME I WORK ALONE because I am at work 24/7/365 blah blah blah
Valerie & Morticia --saw that day that you agreed with me thanks!
This talentless ho is only 19???!! She looks around 35 to me. Nasty.
thanks sammy. sadly anything I do will be used against me in the future. I need something totally anonymous. The sticky desk thing would work if you could actually SEE her desk.
Thanks prico!!! but you don't toss female salad...do you?
Who knows, Daya... never tried it before. Is it like asian chicken salad?
a lot of the stuff is anonymous, like the crank calling. shit ill crank call her ass. hahaa. i like fucking with people. im a terrible person.
daya, I don't get it. Did the air lift my skirt? *cues Chestica confused look one more time*
sammy, but we have caller id on all the phones!
Link all their paperclips together.
Bend all their staples so they don't work right in the stapler.
Collect the paper bits from the hole-puncher and throw it around their desk.
Smile at them non-stop, especially on days where they're feeling stressed.
Send them messages thanking them for being a special person, and that you truly appreciate all the work they do.
yah, sunny. that was ... difficult to say the least. i contemplated not coming back either.
*67
OOOOHHHHH. The farting. Right!
i was pretty appaled as well, i just didnt want to get involved cause i was having an off day
Stoney: When I farted....I asked her if it lifted my skirt a little, she was shocked and disgusted!! HAHAHAHA.
Prico: I don't know, never tossed my own salad.
From a fart, Stoney.
Ok, funny story. Well, not so funny. My previous boss was an asshole in the truest sense of the word. He would storm into my office and give me stuff to do. So I would fart every few minutes, and he would just walk into the "cloud"... He always had to act like nothing was happening and continue with his request.
QUIETLY fart as you pass by their desk
Sammy i dont know what is it?But it just turns me on its one of those things that you love but cant explain!
I mean its not like i dreamed as a little girl to give head to Snata or anything sick like that!
It started when i was older!
But I can't fart on cue!! *recalls eating bean burrito for lunch*
A-HA!!!
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:47 pm | #
my weakness is a man in camoflauge uniform w/the hat, black boots...(Army wife here)...drools.......YES SIR!
Well, like I said before I had a bailey's ice cream shake for lunch... and I've been farting every 67 seconds like clockwork. I'm starting to see smog...
Sunny: I opted out of that....I got a whole bunch of shit thrown at me a while ago, when I expressed my disgust at some loser asking for kiddie porn on here.
i have told this story before, FORGIVE ME, i farted near my cat once, she is a calico and she hissed at me while backing away and kept hissing.
I swear i almost pissed myself after that fart.
She is a calico to boot, very bitchy too.
I can honestly say I've never heard of anyone being afraid of MOSS
A girl i know is afraid of cotton balls
jenner | 05.26.06 - 3:20 pm | #
I CAN NOT STAND COTTOM - especially cotton balls or freshly washed cotton towels.... I swear to god cotton balls make a sound or a feeling between the fingers that gives me goosebumps!! EEEKKK
She's fucking talking about me now and I can HEAR her. Bitch.
i started at 11 valerie.
cops are my biggest weakness. in the blue uniform. big ol bear cop. mmmmmm.... st patricks day parade in NYC is like sensory overload for me.
i also like teachers, lawyers, and coaches.
Sunny yeah i am totally with you on that subject!!
Dear Christ. I had a dream that MK, Hagface and FMouie were all having drinks together at Scores. WTF????????
Hungover farts are the most effective!!!! those could repel bosses and co-workers.
the other day i was farting like all day long, and it smelled so rank in here, but we have this guy who doesnt talk much so i spread the rumor that he is the "farter"
Dayanara | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:55 pm | #
mine are deadliest just before my period...take note people!
I CAN NOT STAND COTTOM - especially cotton balls or freshly washed cotton towels.... I swear to god cotton balls make a sound or a feeling between the fingers that gives me goosebumps!! EEEKKK
~ohmy~ | 05.26.06 - 3:54 pm | #
I'll have to let her know she's not alone!!!!!!! Seriously, if we ever wanna freak her out, we put a cotton ball, or the cotton stuffing from a pill bottle, on her desk AND JSUT SIT BACK & WATCH IT FLY
She's fucking talking about me now and I can HEAR her. Bitch.
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 3:54 pm | #
Stoney, I'm fucking getting mad FOR you - I think it must be REQUIRED that every office has one of these psycho crotch suckers!!!!!!!
A very pregnant Gwen Stefani and rocker husband Gavin Rossdale arrived at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles this morning where doctors plan to induce labor and deliver the couple’s child via C-section at noon PST
im really only afraid of spiders and snakes.
oh and mustard absolutely disgusts me. the smell, the sight, everything. i will fucking firebomb a place if they put mustard anywhere near my food.
yeah guys--I avoided it too until the next morning-BIG MISTAKE!LOL!--cuz that's when I had to finally rant!
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:58 pm | #
Ketchup is my kryptonite
The whore is still talking about me next door. Hasn't even bothered closing the door.
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 3:58 pm | #
I have been OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED with a snake phobia - IT'S OFFICIAL & EVERYTHING, got the certificate in a frame & everything
alright bitches i got one more meeting then im out, have a good weekend, be sure to get crunk!! and laid!!! i will!!!
dude stoney, gimme the number and ill prank call her ass, whats her name
The whore is still talking about me next door. Hasn't even bothered closing the door.
StoneyBaloney aka Paris Sucks | 05.26.06 - 3:59 pm | #
start banging on walls & shit, jsut make as much noise as possible
dude stoney, gimme the number and ill prank call her ass, whats her name
sammy | Homepage | 05.26.06 - 4:00 pm | #
STONEY DO IT
Stoney: post her number here!!! she'll get what she deserves!! HAHAHHAA.
Wow sammy your an early bird!I started at 15 i also love soldiers,marines oh and yeah love cops too and i had this huge crush on my gymnastique teacher-he was so hot!I also have a thing for a little older mature man.Not old,older and sexy!
Oh talking about uniforms Richard Gere in An officer and gentelman comes to mind!
What is it with uniforms?They make me a complete slut!
*contemplates value of job*
im into older as well (not old) but im sure u saw my hubby big ol bear man in his 40s, salt and pepper rocks my boat yeah i started young, i knew i liked older bears at 11, didnt have one til i was 16 though (shh)
stoney it cant come back to you, i dont even know ur ass i just wanna fuck with the bitch
a man in a UNIFORM! MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
I am terrified of spiders and heights. YAAAAAAAAAG!
alright meeting time, peace out bitches
Yeah, but one dude here knows my dlisted name. This shit would SO come back and haunt me. *sigh* I love you guys.
you did the right thing Stoney sistah!! I was just tempting you.HAHAHHA.
i was just gonna call and every time she answered hang up.
or breathe heavy into the phone.
I am terrified of clowns!And not in a cute way i get pyscho around them.Its just that god damn make up those lips wig everything!I once got a panic attack when i was at my friends sisters b-day!
Sammy i also love swimmers and athlethes and i would love to fuck a matador!Thats definetly a goal!
It just gets me how they can team that powerful animal i think they must be incredible in the sack!!
Everyone have a great weekend! Mouse must bounce.
hey everyone! have a great holiday weekend hope you all get laid, drunk, high, whatever makes you happy.. and enjoyed all of your stories.... I am so boring all I do is sitck things up my vagina all day.. enjoy!
Bye all! Wow, everyone's leaving early. Dammit.
Why is it that every time I get here is about the time everyone leaves? Do I smell bad? *Sniffs*
I knew there was no way there was 479 posts about Kirstin.
FUCK.
No, it's just a bad chat room.
No, it's just a bad chat room.
talkcity | 05.26.06 - 5:10 pm |
Tell me about it. No wonder most of the smart commenters have left. What's the point of leaving or trying to read funny smart snarky comments if you have to wade through a cesspool of inane drivel and boring personal chitchat? They also totally ignore anyone that isn't part of their stupid little club of "regulars".
A big yawnfest.
woahitsme | 05.26.06 - 5:08 pm | #
talkcity | 05.26.06 - 5:10 pm | #
wow | 05.26.06 - 7:35 pm | #
Yep, it's official. Kristin Cavallari is the biggest cocksucker in Hollywood.
The Dukes of Hazzard was STUPID, Kristin is STUPID. That movie is offically gonna suck ASS.
Why are you all so negative about this Kristin ??
Sandra
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