WHORE!
her hair color makes her look like the mexican lady who cleans my bathroom at work.
It will probably be a sex manual. Maybe she can get those Hooker Mills photos for illustration.
How can you write a book if you cant even read??
Let's hope her writing is better than her acting...
tony parkers face looks like patchwork.. like they just stitched different parts of his face on!
This makes me ill. Just think of all the worthwhile authors who are struggling to get published. 
this is a book about how to bend over to get anally fucked for a part in a TV show
The History of Dildos!
wonder if she'll include excerpts from her dalliances on dlisted? Good ol' Ass-Lister........
Looks like anyone can get a book deal these days who's next?
her boyfriend looks retarded
I HATE how it's somehow ok to say you 'wrote' a book when you didn't!!!! Hello, ghostwriter!
Short book.
I'm a whore. Always have been a whore. Always will be a whore.
Oh goody!! More dildo and brazilian wax stories!! Can't wait!!!
Tales of an Anoynymous A-Lister.
Her imagination is so wild, she imagines she can write a book!
DUMB FUCKING CUNT!
TONY PARKER MUST SHIT GOLDEN TURDS, BECAUSE THATS ALL EVA LONGORIA TALKS ABOUT IS
TONY PARKER
TONY PARKER
TONY PARKER
TONY PARKER
TONY PARKER
TONY PARKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ENOUGH!! Seriously, ENOUGH!!
This little twit has absolutely NOTHING arresting, cute, whimsical, funny, attractive, interesting or beautiful about her!
GRRRRR!! 
So many talented un-sung writers in this world and she's writing a book?
Bitch PLEASE!
I could not agree more. I am an assistant professor with a PhD from Cambridge and I cannot even begin to tell you the effort, time, and difficulty goes into writing and publishing a book.
It seems so unjust that any celebrity with no talent can just "write" a book.
hellokitty 
HEY! I could be a no-talent whore too! where's my fuckin book deal?!
The plot's top secret so far but let's just say I have a wild imagination
"Top Secret" means I'm gonna write a boring book about my life...
Oh please no talent asshole. Go away!
Unless her book is about how a no-talent whore can make it in Hollywood, I'm not interested.
Does she know about anything other than that?
well, if she's saying how wild her imagination is, does this mean it ISN'T a biography? As in , it'll be fiction? As in, we WON'T be subjected to the inane details of her gross & pathetic "life"????
Hope she gets an EDITOR to clean up all those typos & shit, coz when she posts as ass-lister, it's ATROCIOUS O_o
I am just a boring, lonely, housewife with an 6th grade education and I cannot even begin to tell you how hard it is to get a book published!!!
It seems so unjust that any celebrity with no talent can just "write" a book.
NK | 06.22.06 - 1:45 pm
Ugh!! I'm sorry!! Good luck!!
Think she'd allow D-listed to write the foreword? Now wouldn't that be fun!
Oh yeah I forgot...
RACIST, INCONSIDERATE, DUMB FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!
Here's hoping that ugly retard Tony Parker fucks her to death. Rest In Pieces.
she is another media whore who needs to be on the DEATH PLANE with Tom, Paris, HoHan, Mischa, McPee & Diaz just to name a few...
DIE CUNT
Yeah, I'm so sure she will be typing away on her computer for months, agonizing over each word. PLEASE! This bitch will give her ghostwriter three interviews and then the book will be written! God that makes me so fucking sick.
Garage sale reading.
this bitch seems illiterate. and she never shuts up.
she comes from two wonderful but obese parents. bitch has gotta be anorexic. god help her ass if she gets preggo.
Ugh. I mean really. Who cares?
"see spot.
see spot run.
spot is running, because spot is an open herpes lesion.
see open herpes lesion run.
get a cotton swab and swab spot."
-eva longoria
In two years time, she will be a total has been and we need not worry about her. I hope she is enjoying her time now in Hollywood, for soon she will be back in San Antonio, where she belongs.
look at it this way, it will give us more ammo to bing on her.
Mousie !!!! how is your shanaynay doin today?
She will make her "assistant" who cant spell write it.
They write books,
They're under 30 yet come out with autobiographies.
They wanna do everything.
Who's watching anymore.
did i spell 'illiterate' wrong? i can't tell.
the ironing is fantastic...
I'd like to remove that smirk from her face with a bat.
lol " the ironing is fantastic" i love it
It will probably be a sex manual. Maybe she can get those Hooker Mills photos for illustration.
LA
I was thinking that very same thing! Do you think it'll be in 5 parts?
1) Clit's A Wonderful World
2) The Dildo in Me
3) Fuck Me, Amadeus
4) I Will Love You, Anally
5) Just Call Me Jizzhole of the Morning
jennifer | 06.22.06 - 1:51 pm | #
you should get the editing job
tim | 06.22.06 - 1:50 pm | #
*chokes on chicken sandwich*
Sick, mother fucker!
5) Just Call Me Jizzhole of the Morning
Damn it Jennifer, Now I am going to be calling everyone a jizzhole!
1) Clit's A Wonderful World
2) The Dildo in Me
3) Fuck Me, Amadeus
4) I Will Love You, Anally
5) Just Call Me Jizzhole of the Morning
jennifer | 06.22.06 - 1:51 pm | #
I wanted to contribute to the list, but I can't think of anything....
libby/ | 06.22.06 - 1:51 pm |
all those iiiiiiiiiii's and lllllllllllllll's and fffffffffffff's and ttttttttttttttttt's are tricky little bastards when put together! Now I'm dizzy.
Fo Sho an hour and ten minute more.
I'm a real footie fanatic.
stoney, i don't know how people can eat and read dlisted comments at the same time.
Oh, and BTW bitch - your hair looks like SHITE!!
Soon this wench will go blonde... Freakin' poseur!
Damn, I was feeling so swell and then MK has to post this info...
I want to contribute something funny today but I am so tired that I'm brain dead. I guess I'll have to try back later.
she needs to dye her hair back. she looks fug in that pic.
All we need to do is ensure it gets terrible reviews(that's pretty much a gimme) and nobody buys it!
Then watch that bitch Oprah make it part of her book club Then we'll have a James Frey incident and Oprah's vajajay will revolt again!
"Ohhhh, I Wanna Dance on Some Polees"
ironing.
i use that where 'irony' would often be used, but would be wrong. i am so anal.
ON TOPIC: eva is a dumb whore. she asks for free drinks, treats others poorly, and is always spouting T.M.I.
jenner, there's my Canuck sloot!
It's fully deployed, Katie!
I concur libby.. Stupid biatch!
hey if Parisite can "write" a book I guess any jizzhole can
I wonder if her dirt-star tastes like a Chalupa? One things for sure: the surrounding area is brown from sexy latina pigment.
Oprah's vajajay will revolt again!
Harley Parades Busted Twat
Gaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy!
Mousie Jizzhole!!
Jennifer, I just spit Arizona Green Tea all over my screen and keyboard!
Gary I bet her dirtstar tastes like a moldy taquito.
she likes the idea of seeing her book on a shelf? unless she shops at the 75% bin a walmart, she probably won't see it. soooorry, bitch.
That would be neat if Jordan would ask Tony Parker about Eva's tiny boobs...and then proceeded to tell him why bigger tits are better...
I hope this slag doesn't write a biography. How the fuck is her life so interesting? She fucks Tony Parker.
Gary, that balloon knot smells like jizz from being double banged ten hours a day.
the JIZZHOLE squad is ready and waiting for YOU KNOW IT.... get your
shanaynays deployed and open for business...munch time is almost upon us
Thank God it's diet or it'd be as sticky as Longwhoria's pubes!
I can't wait til Desperate Housewives is cancelled so we never have to hear from these famewhoring boring bitches.
Gary I bet her dirtstar tastes like a moldy taquito.
Fancy
Chicken or Beef??... theres a difference!! 
Jean...Vindo em Brazil! | 06.22.06 - 1:54 pm |
Counting down! Should be great!
Kell
Chicken that is still raw in the middle and has maggots crawling around.
Does she have sausage nipples?
katiescarlett | 06.22.06 - 1:59 pm | #
vivien leigh was one of the most beautiful women of all time! those eyes! i love that movie!
Remember Saturday Night Live's "How to Be a Hoe?" (I think it was Eddie Murphy who did the bit)...that would be LongWhoria's book!
" i wanna be a ho"---velvet jones.
i am old.
jenner, there's my Canuck sloot!
jennifer | 06.22.06 - 1:56 pm | #
bonjour! I'm busy revelling in the fact that jose Theodore's g-friend dumped him bcs of the Paris Hilton pics - I emailed MK but I don't know if he really cares about it, but as a Canadian I DO! Sweet justice indeed...
How YOU doin'?
Chicken that is still raw in the middle and has maggots crawling around.
Fancy | 06.22.06 - 2:00 pm | #
oh fancy, I JUST ATE chicken *barf*
Thank God it's diet or it'd be as sticky as Longwhoria's pubes!
Harley Parades Busted Twat
Bitch's twat is so sticky it's one big ant colony.
She`s gonna write a story how to suck a mean dick .
Marley, that was Eddie Murphy as "Velvet Jones," the pimp who wrote "How To Be A Ho."
libby/ | 06.22.06 - 2:01 pm | #
thanks Libby this was my old original avatar from way back decided to revive it.. I missed it... GWTW is my fav movie of all time 
Damn bitch is burnt !
Great. Another person ruining the library.
jose Theodore's g-friend dumped him bcs of the Paris Hilton pics
jenner
No Fucking Way?! I thought he was better and smarter than that? Another herpetoid infested groin. Hope his teammates beat his ass Full Metal Jacket style. Me? I'm doing good. I have all day today and tomorrow to play. The trolls are gone. How 'bout you?
I like Chalupas. She's hawt! I'd let her fart in my mouff!
****blowing chunks****
jennifer | 06.22.06 - 2:09 pm | #
I'm good! I have about 4 minutes left on my lunch hour, so I thoguht I'd take advantage hehe
Yeah, I hope he is RIDICULED MERCILESSLY - bad enough to cheat & everything, but to do it with PARIS HILTON!??!! And then get DUMPED bcs of it - PRICELESS!
What's a dirtstar?
I didn't know this bitch could read let alone write.
I guess wriiting a book is the new black.
GO YANKEES 
A book about what? What a cunt she is? Will it feature Dick and Jane? I hate this bitch.
oh my god this conceited whore. and who told her she'd look good blond? her hair is looking like the color of piss. dirty piss, that is. i can't stand this stuck up bitch.
she's a dirty mexican
KatieScarlett: I love, love, love this avatar! Your pooch is uber-talented but I loke this representation of you way better, sweets!
Christine's a gay rod: were you CokeMonkey?
Eva rode a pretty pony
On her way to get Tony's baloney
And when the pony stopped
She spread eagle for his cock
a dirtstar is your asshole
I thought that was jessica alba at first.
LOL, the pony would have better taste i'm assuming.
she's so gross and she has such a high opinion of her skanky self. she's going to be on the surreal life in a couple of years. you watch and see.
I think it says a lot about a person when your biography is going to be published as a pop-up book.
pop-up book.
the betsy
On page 12, there's a pop up dirtstar, all gaping and jizzified.
I thought that was jessica alba at first.
w | 06.22.06 - 2:21 pm | #
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------------------------------
i hate jessica alba with a passion, but i think she's way hotter than longwhoria.
no, I wasn't cokemonkey, but I know who you mean. I just have the avatar.
her bioggraphy will be pulished in playgirl, with picutres.
This story is NOT true. Her publicist has already said that this rumor is false.
She needs to dye her hair black again, it looks better.
I can only imagine this book, you know it's going to have something to do with sex.
Why is Eva so obsessed with sex anyway? It's weird, she assualts interviews with Dildo facts and intimate details about her and Tony and yet when the stuff gets published she complains. It's weird.
Hi Alayana!
she is an attention seeking whore, who isn't a good enough actor to get attention like that, so she thinks by throwing her sex stuff out there, she'll stay in the lime light.
she sucked on the young and the restless also. not good at all.
You guys are grossing Mousie out. Fancy, all I see where your av should be is a red X!
She needs to dye her hair black again, it looks better.
I can only imagine this book, you know it's going to have something to do with sex.
Why is Eva so obsessed with sex anyway? It's weird, she assualts interviews with Dildo facts and intimate details about her and Tony and yet when the stuff gets published she complains. It's weird.
Hi Alayana!
Long Island Irish | 06.22.06 - 2:28 pm | #
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hey, Long Island! i said the other day that she's like the kids from high school who bragged and bragged when in reality they weren't getting any at all. Tony Parker has always looked gay to me. but maybe eva doesn't care...how ya been?
Alayna,
I've been good but a bit horrified at the idea of Eva's book! I can just imagie it, I lvoe soem of the titles fellow Dlisters have coem up with.
So why is it that you hate Alba with a passion?
This bitch writes a book it'll be covered with fishy jizz.
or jizzy fish. love ya, mousie!
So why is it that you hate Alba with a passion?
Long Island Irish | 06.22.06 - 2:32 pm | #
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*trying desperately to put it nicely* she's a pretentious, stuckup hypocritical bitch who can't act. The thing that bugs me the most is how she talks about how actresses who get naked in movies are whores, but she can wear bikinis and assless chaps in her movies and nothing is wrong with it. shit, alot of those women have academy awards on their mantels...so much for being nice!
LOL Alayna,
I don't know too much about her but I did feel sorry for her when K-Fed mentioned that threesome, YIKES! No one deserves that.
Hi christine!
Shit, Alayna, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel!
Alba's another one who thinks her shit don't stink.
remember the south park where they were driving SUV's and got so smug they smelled their own farts? LOL
I don't know too much about her but I did feel sorry for her when K-Fed mentioned that threesome, YIKES! No one deserves that.
Long Island Irish | 06.22.06 - 2:42 pm | #
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*feeling a smidge of pity for jessica alba*
LOL Alayna I sort of figured that.
You know Eva may go for it though!
yeah, Alayna, don't edit yourself or anything. LOL. HI mousie!
You know Eva may go for it though!
Long Island Irish | 06.22.06 - 2:46 pm | #
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she'd probably throw britney into the mix, too. and add marc anthony. ew. i just threw up a little in my mouth.
Thanks Tabatha!
Hey Long Island!
GO YANKEES
Marc Anthony's so greasy he'd just slide off the bed and lay on the ground like the slug he is.
christine's a gay rod | Homepage | 06.22.06 - 2:50 pm
OH fab - another book I won't ever buy.... *yawn*
Marc Anthony's so greasy he'd just slide off the bed and lay on the ground like the slug he is.
christine's a gay rod | Homepage | 06.22.06 - 2:50 pm | #
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she could use him as a buttplug. no lube necessary.
No shit mousie! LOL!
either that, or because Marc Anthony's so fucking little, one of the bitches would go to jump on his dick and break him in half. anorexic bastard! that's why he greases up, you know it adds some weight.
Alayna, LMAO!
In the last picture they both look like they are "special". Seriously they have that mentally retarded look to them. For Eva I think it's the fucked up mouth she has along with those gigantic chiclet front teeth of hers. For Tony it's his drooping stoned out looking eyes. For god's sake I hope they don't have any children.
NOW ALL OF YOU IN HERE SMELL TONY PARKER`S FINGER....!
no thanks, I'll pass.
I won't even ruin my precious time at Barnes and Noble to read her crap. Yawn.
Her boyfriend looks like one of Jerry's Kids.-
Please God, make it stop!
Didn't know the bitch could write. I thought all she could do was act like a slut and talk about sex. She must be paying a write to do it for her.
See sex.
Sex is good.
Good. Good Good.
See Tony.
See Tony cum.
Cum. Cum Cum.
See, I can write like she does, too!
HATERS-HATERS-HATERS...all of you are being haters!!! and don't just go by one or two pictures - Tony Parker is HOT!!!
i think tony parker's hot, but i question his judgement of someone who is involved with someone that continously embarasses herself and him in public.....
It'll be hilarious when it doesn't sell and ends up in the deep discount stacks at Borders...for $1!
GO AWAY.
Yeah, it's "top secret" because they haven't found the ghostwriter just yet.
So did anyone stop from bitching about her no talent ass and notice that she is sporting a major full blown herpes sore on her lip? Aparently the Superman premere was a Valtrex moment?
Alayna aka Aphrodite | 06.22.06 - 2:48 pm | #
LOL brillant (yet disgusting)!
Hi Okaraider!
The end of Western civilization as we know it.
She's in for a rude awakening once she realizes that a book is not the same thing as a porno movie.
She looks retarded in that second picture and her boyfriend's fuckin ugly.
Thanks Perez
um..is it me or is eva trying desparately to look more and more like jessica alba??!! and thats the way tony likes it, i'm sure....
This bag doesn't have anything left to tell for a tell all biography.
she has a mustache!
I love the way she pretends to be all Latina and proud of her heritage and then bleaches her hair to look more Anglo. I know there are some naturally blonde Latinas, and that's cool. But if you're so proud to be a Latina, BE ONE.
Is this chick over yet? She bores me.
How old are you guys. If you weren't interested...you wouldn't comment so don't act like you don't care about her. Every comment is so mean but I guess that shouldn't suprise me because this whole website is rude!
good lord...that hair color is awful...yikes!!
what an ego she has if she thinks people are interested in what she has to say, why doesn't she make an instructional video if she thinks she knows it all...at least we wouldn't have to hear her annoying voice.
GAWD...her parents must be so proud!
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