I want to adopt Barney.
i don't know what's stupider, that they hired a dog to guard a bunch of teddy bears (like the dog wouldn't think that the bears were his toys) or that there is a fucking teddy bear worth $80,000. ridiculous
i don't know what's stupider, that they hired a dog to guard a bunch of teddy bears (like the dog wouldn't think that the bears were his toys) or that there is a fucking teddy bear worth $80,000. ridiculous
bc | 08.04.06 - 12:20 pm | #
lol that's so fucking true!!
I was stroking the bear and say how nice it was....on my penis
Duh! Mabel OBVIOUSLY smelled of Peanut Butter and Bacon sandwiches! Geesh! The PEOPLE are the stupid ones here. 
Mabel was a slut....she deserved it.
the teddys were taunting barney, so barney got into that ass...simple....
sad
sparkle tina | 08.04.06 - 12:25 pm | #
Holy shit! That is funny and true
If you were a Doberman, wouldn't you be pissed gaurding a bunch of teddy bears. 
I want to adopt Barney too, btw. tee hee. I have three labs and they all do that with stuffed animals. Why can't my stuffed animals sell for that much? 
Mabel wanted to be ripped up, bitch likes it rough
I guess Barney thought he was a dinosaur. hahaha.
Seriously, are they going to do harm to Barney?
I think Barney the dog is retaliating for his owners naming him after a big stupid purple dinosaur.
i don't know what's stupider, that they hired a dog to guard a bunch of teddy bears (like the dog wouldn't think that the bears were his toys) or that there is a fucking teddy bear worth $80,000. ridiculous
bc | 08.04.06 - 12:20 pm | #
Exactly!!!
My theory... don't hire dogs to watch "toys"
Or someone had it out for Barney and ripped it up before they came back... I mean a dog can't say otherwise right and will get the blame... perhaps they trashed look a like teddy's and took the real ones....
lol
I see a very expensive Barney rug being made......
i mean what did they expect... dogs act like retarded fucking children and teddy bears are stupid.
Hey Oh my, tried that Glaze stuff this morning and it rocks!!!!. My hair looks good enought to almost detract from my hungover, red rimmed eyes....almost. Have you tried it yet?
Barney will be fine, he will be retired of course, but fine. The only snuff bad doggies when they, you know, kill people. At least in my ghetto town of Oakland that is the rule of the land
As a dog owner, I have to agree..."retarded fucking children" is right on the money. But I love those retarded fuckers.
I think Lisa Marie put Barney up to the hit. She was probably jealous of Mabel.
do you blame him? the teddy bear smelled like fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches!
fake mishma-you haven't been to oakland recently obviously
I hope they don't destroy the dog. That's pretty funny though. Good news item!
It's not like he attacked a person. There's no reason to put this dog down, I hope they aren't even thinking about that.
no word on whether barney humped mabel first.
so if he cehwed up BS's chester cheeto toy what would they do???
I love the look on this dog's face. It's total "doggy knows he did wrong." But honestly, who hires a fucking dog to guard what is essentially a dog toy warehouse.
It's not like he attacked a person. There's no reason to put this dog down, I hope they aren't even thinking about that.
tallulah
yeah, not like the bitch who locked her kid in the basement and he got out and killed the 12 year old!
"...or it could have been jealousy - I was just stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she was."
-------------------------------------
That's just weird.
*gasp* good god, my curiosity (morbid curiosity) took over and I checked out Perez's site.. Good god its like a Pepto nightmare!
*shuddering in horror*
"...or it could have been jealousy - I was just stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she was."
-------------------------------------
That's just weird.
Youri | 08.04.06 - 12:54 pm | #
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
Yeah - very disturbing...
he smelled bacon on that ELvis bear fo' shizzle
...I know, right?
That's like:
-hiring Lindsay Lohan to guard all the coke
-hiring Angelina Jolie to guard all the other women's husbands and all the impoverished orphans
-hiring Mel Gibson to guard all the tequila and the Jews
Those dumb bastards should have covered those stupid ass toys in nutritious food and had Nicole Richie guard them.
yeah, not like the bitch who locked her kid in the basement and he got out and killed the 12 year old!
billy balls | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 12:50 pm | #
Did you hear that the jury ended up deadlocked on that one. Seriously fucked up.
*shuddering in horror*
Ana Matronic(my sex like boom | 08.04.06 - 12:57 pm | #
Ana - just breathe deeply and have a shot of tequila. The images will pass - but please don't ever subject yourself to that again.
Everybody always blames the dog. Stinky farts, poop on the floor, torn-up teddy bears. It's always the dog's fault!
What Billy....they are snuffing the doggies more or less?
No, I don't live in Oaktown, just following the story about the mother that left her kid home alone with two pit bulls that killed the kid and they were "put down", right?
one dog was shot immediately (the female) the male was destroyed later I believe. The jury deadlocked. The kid was LD for god's sake....
Oakland is still pretty much a cesspool unfortunately - but getting better. They're pushing all the poor into Richmond these days. Gentrification at its best. Now Richmond is like a murder per day or something.
poor barney. he was just playin'!
i don't know a dog, barney's size, that wouldn't behave this way. i mean when barney got the assignment he was probably thought he had died and gone to doggy heaven!
pats - heh... my dad did that. (Well not pooping on the floor)...
mishma | 08.04.06 - 1:03 pm | #
Mishma - I don't know if the second dog was put down or not, but animal control had to kill one of the dogs so that the paramedics could get into the house to try to save the boy.
Oh Billy Richmond has always been the third ring of hell, I remember a reporter for channel 2 (maybe Dennis Richmond) went into Richmond during it's crack heyday and they had to in an armoured van with tinted windows using night vision cameras and they observed how the dealers shot out the street lights to better deal the rock and cops don't even bother patrolling it.
Is EPA still scare too?
My bitch sister woke me from sleep so early did she call me this morning to tell me this story!
I love that effing picture!
Sorry Billy - I started responding before I saw your post.
That whole situation is so sad. The kid was learning disabled and instead of locking up the dogs (who had bitten ALL 3 of her children in the past) the mother put the child in a room and told him to block the door with a shovel and not come out! How did anyone come to the conclusion that this woman was not guilty of child endangerment??
MK - My sister's freak freinds are following the story. Apparently, Barney is going to go live on a farm now, and he's going to be relieved of his duties at guarding teddy bears.
In further news, I'm having my three cats guard this fresh salmon I brought home from the fish market.
I saw an interview with, I believe, one of the jurors and she said "parents make mistakes" and I'm like WTF????????????????????????????
Yeah, I lock my (I didn't know about the Learning Disability, Jesus) child in the basement so my special widdle killer pits can roam the house freely while mommy runs out for a pack of Marlboro Reds.
What was the conclusion on the morning after pill? Can't we retroactively abort this cunt?
In further news, I'm having my three cats guard this fresh salmon I brought home from the fish market.
LA
and I'm having my five year old terror of a nephew guarding my white sofa and precious stemware collection.
How did anyone come to the conclusion that this woman was not guilty of child endangerment??
mikki | 08.04.06 - 1:08 pm | #
I am in total agreement. I was living in SF when this whole thing happened. Terrible neglect on the part of the mother. She didn't ever accept blame or responsibility, either. In the press she lamented the fact that the dog was put down...like she cared more for the dog than her own son!
Haha, I'll have my 16 y/o cousin guard the unlocked liquor cabinet
What was the conclusion on the morning after pill? Can't we retroactively abort this cunt?
mishma | 08.04.06 - 1:12 pm | #
You always make me laugh Mishma!
Off topic: Blister in the Sun is on the radio right now!!!
the kid was LD, the dogs had bitten before, they were moving (boxes everywhere so the dogs were distressed - good line from the movie "Everything is Illuminated" I highly recommend this flick!!!!), father was out of town (the alpha), the dogs were in heat, the basement had no phone and apparently a disgusting toilet.
The defense told the story of a stressed out mom whose child was constantly testing and resisting her (was unable/unwilling to follow instructions -DUH) and apparently some other stressed out mamas sympathized enough w/ her... but the bitch was quoted in the papers after hte incident as "I did nothing wrong" and "I'd do it again". Seriously.
and I'm having my five year old terror of a nephew guarding my white sofa and precious stemware collection.
billy balls | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 1:12 pm | #
haha!
Stavros is going to guard Paris' honor.
This is too easy.
They better not harm him. I'll kick all of their arses.
I'm having KISS guard my make-up bag.
Mel Gibson guarding the water spigot at the Kaballah Center.
Tara Reid guarding my Rx of Valium.
Ok I'm not very good at this!!!
billy balls | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 1:15 pm | #
The kid was home that day because he refused to go to school. (Sorry, but my children are not allowed to refuse to go to school - call me old fashioned.) She left him home alone so that she could go on a school picnic with her daughter. She left him in the basement with a bagel and some chips and no working toilet and told him to stay there. I read a quote from her after it happened that she said it was "typical" of him not to follow directions - like it was totally the kid's fault.
I'm having Eva Longwhoria guard my vibrator collection.
Well even if the mom from hell gets off, she still has to live with herself. I bet hubby isn't crying about the dogs.
Why were the dogs in heat? They WERE BREEDING THEM? Pit bulls are fucking useless and this only supports my theory that these dogs opnly appeal to the lowest common denomiator: criminals, white trash and Oakland Raiders fans.
well I don't have children so I have no right to judge. I can imagine she was overwhelmed. Obviously she's not very smart. But the dogs are aggressive, not fixed, and she should be guilty of something in my book.
I was kinda kidding about OR fans...
no, not really
Oakland Raiders fans have Rotties, not Pittbulls. Pitts are for ghettos and rottweilers for trailer parks.
If my dog even snarled at my child unprovoked that dog would be gracing my fireplace hearth, decoratively
billy balls | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 1:21 pm | #
I do have kids and I reserve the right as a bitch to judge anyone...
This stupid bitch shouldn't be allowed to own dogs, much less raise kids.
Aw, thank you Billy, I was misinformed in my ghetto dog owner guide
What do you bet it didn't really happen that way and they're using that dog as a ploy to get a big fat insurance check.
mishma | 08.04.06 - 1:23 pm | #
My sister-in-law had a toy poodle that became aggressive after they had kids - started growling at the kids, etc - and they had the dog put down. I don't necessarily agree with putting the dog down, maybe find it a home where there are no children, but anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that you cannot keep an aggressive animal in a house with children.
In further news, I'm having my three cats guard this fresh salmon I brought home from the fish market.
LA | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 1:11 pm | #
very nice, LA!!
~Emma, you think they fed the kid to the dog?
Ewwwwwwwwwwww
mikki: agreed.
mishma: but kids can be taught to respect animals, and animals trained well, but I'd still question having an aggressive dog(s) around kids. Too much room for terror.
Yeah, I would try to save the aggresive dog's life as much as I could but it would not be near my children
Emma, you think they fed the kid to the dog?
Ewwwwwwwwwwww
I think she was talking about the insurance check for the teddy bear collection... (at least I hope so)
I would find the dogs a new home if there were behavioral issues with the dogs (not their fault they were raised by idiots) and not put them down, but i'd definitely remove them from the home. That bitch will have to change her name and move to a new state.
I think she was talking about the insurance check for the teddy bear collection... (at least I hope so)
mikki
lol... i hope so too!
i don't know what's stupider, that they hired a dog to guard a bunch of teddy bears (like the dog wouldn't think that the bears were his toys) or that there is a fucking teddy bear worth $80,000. ridiculous
bc | 08.04.06 - 12:20 pm | #
---------------------
you said it bc. it better be a damn special teddy bear, like velveteen rabbit quality.
as for the dog, if the dog has been a model security dog for 6 years, then SOMETHING was wrong with those teddy bears, and he sensed it. working dogs don't go off on rampages just because. instead of blaming the dog, they need to look into why the dog might have been set off. what changed with those bears. what happens when the pieces of those bears are put before other guard dogs.
and i hope they don't destroy or put down barney either. this is obviously not his fault.
YOU NEVER LEAVE A CHILD UNATTENED WITH A DOG, IT IS THE FIRST RULE IN ANY DOG TRAINING GUIDE.
Dogs are animals, after all and can for any reason, go off without provocation.
My dog is very loving and does not bite but we do not have children. He likes children but I will not allow him to be around any children without me being present
"rogue scent on Magel" = the scent of my jism
Personally I would never own a Pit, but I do know some wonderful people who have rescued Pits who are great dogs. However, these owners are adults that do not live with children. It was totally and completely the responsibility of the parents to keep their children safe, and keeping two aggressive Pits who were in heat in a home with children was absolutely wrong. The mother should have been locked up.
Oh, and Mishma- my doggie is a rescue from the Oakland animal shelter. She is a german shepherd mix- and probably the only single dog in the shelter there that didn't have Pit in her. I love my Oakland ghetto dog.
LOL I just hope poor Barney doesn't get in too much trouble!
jen (not the original)- actually German Shepards are the dogs who bite the most. Weird huh?
Oakland ghetto dog...lol... mine was from the Mariposa Puppy Mill bust they took 139 ShihTzus and Lhasas crammed into cages and were able to rescue 130 of them.
You found a non-pit in Oakland Jen? NO, I don't believe you!!!!
Congrats on your sweetie dog and saving her from the shelter 
why are these expensive assed teddies sitting around where the dog can chew them up but it practically takes the jaws of life to open a new cell phone charger package? LOL the world is one fucked up place some days
billy balls | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 1:38 pm | #
She is fiercely loyal to me, so while she has never even come close to biting, I have no doubt she would severely injure someone if it were clear I was being hurt. Otherwise she is gentle as a lamb.
...I always thought the little yappy dogs were the most prone to biting.
Mariposa Puppy Mill bust
??
Didn't hear about that, but nice you were able to rescue a sweet pup. 
mishma | 08.04.06 - 1:38 pm |
Thanks!
The oakland shelter rarely calls the dogs "Pit". Instead they are a "Lab Mix". You take one look at them and they are 99% Pit and maybe have a drop of something else in them!
yappy dogs might but they don't hurt much (or tear off your arm or half your face...)
The oakland shelter rarely calls the dogs "Pit". Instead they are a "Lab Mix". You take one look at them and they are 99% Pit and maybe have a drop of something else in them!
jen (not the original) | 08.04.06 - 1:44 pm | #
See, we took this pit and genetically added some daschaund in the lab - voila! A "Lab Mix"
Feh, I know a pit a mile away. Now they have American Staffordshire Terriers which are just f'ing PITS but the AKA recognizes them.
I do not understand the fascination with these dogs
The defense told the story of a stressed out mom whose child was constantly testing and resisting her (was unable/unwilling to follow instructions -DUH) and apparently some other stressed out mamas sympathized enough w/ her... but the bitch was quoted in the papers after hte incident as "I did nothing wrong" and "I'd do it again". Seriously.
And this is why abortion has to be a choice. This piece of shit of a human should not have had a child. YOu can force a woman to have a child but you can not make her love them or apparently act like a human! I am actually getting in my car now to go get her and beat her to death with a wooden spoon. Should take hours..see you guys later
voila! A "Lab Mix"
mikki | 08.04.06 - 1:47 pm | #
______
do not understand the fascination with these dogs
mishma | 08.04.06 - 1:47 pm | #
Me neither. I honestly think that cities like Denver (? I think ?) that are trying to keep Pits regulated and out of their communities have the right idea.
I live in West Texas (white trash central) and pits are very commom around here. It seems that the fewer of your original teeth you have, the more pits you are required to own. (I still have all of my own teeth - therefore, no pit.)
Should take hours..see you guys later
BoredinNYC | 08.04.06 - 1:49 pm | #
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
Please, give her a few whacks for me!
oh this shit is funny.
You have a long drive Bored...by the time you get there, you may be disatisfied with your wooden spoon. May I suggest a tire iron?
BoredinNYC - otay, have fun! I'm sure there are many others along the way you can find to beat down....
oh and the right wing christian coalition for wanting to stop ALL abortions but not lift a finger to help kids grow up in a nurturing environment (hello Richmond, California)
Doberman Pincers are supposed to be eating criminals alive or riping out essential human organs of the misbehaved...NOT GUARDING TEDDY BEARS.
oh and the right wing christian coalition for wanting to stop ALL abortions but not lift a finger to help kids grow up in a nurturing environment.
billy balls | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 1:57 pm | #
Amen to THAT!
the guy in charge of the let-a-dog-guard-a-fucking-bunch-of-teddy bears (re: chew toys) decision is about as stupid as the idiots in washington that are shocked about the current civil war situation in iraq.
common sense, the final frontier.
Common sense? Now you're just talking crazy!
Oh, and what the hell kind of name is Barney for a Doberman guard dog!?!
Hey Oh my, tried that Glaze stuff this morning and it rocks!!!!. My hair looks good enought to almost detract from my hungover, red rimmed eyes....almost. Have you tried it yet?
mishma | 08.04.06 - 12:33 pm | #
No I bought it but haven't used it. Did you use the light brown or dark brown?? Did it change your color at all or just make it shiny and pretty?? I'm such a chickenpoop!!
Well I'm a strawberry blonde by the miracle of Loreal and I must say, it added fierce redness. Not too much, but defin red highlights. HOT. Try it Oh My
hahahahahaha thats hilarious! Having a dog guard stuffed animals? Valuable ones at that?? WTF people! hahahaha classic.
Barney was aware that his name is used for a big stuffed purple dinosaur. That pissed him off and he decided to retaliate on all plushies. (no offense to anyone here in the plushie community)
Hey it smelt like a fried banana peanut butter sandwich.. sheese!
maybe barney will be the next stuffed animal to show the next dog what could happen to him.
Well I'm a strawberry blonde by the miracle of Loreal and I must say, it added fierce redness. Not too much, but defin red highlights. HOT. Try it Oh My
mishma | 08.04.06 - 2:41 pm | #
What color Glaze did you use Blonde or Red??
...I know, right?
That's like:
-hiring Lindsay Lohan to guard all the coke
-hiring Angelina Jolie to guard all the other women's husbands and all the impoverished orphans
-hiring Mel Gibson to guard all the tequila and the Jews
Those dumb bastards should have covered those stupid ass toys in nutritious food and had Nicole Richie guard them.
miso | 08.04.06 - 12:57 pm | #
That was f***ing hiliarious i almost feel off my chair
"the teddys were taunting barney, so barney got into that ass........simple.....letinstar"
simply sublime imagery, just sublime....been so long since i been high....................
I'm just disturbed that a grown man had a teddy bear. Least she kept her original face, eh 'Cilla??
And dogs are stupid so it's their own fault for leaving it there.
Hiring a dog to look after stuffed animals is like hiring Lyndsay Lohan into the DEA !!!
"the teddys were taunting barney, so barney got into that ass........simple.....letinstar"
simply sublime imagery, just sublime....been so long since i been high....................
strap-on mama's boy | Homepage | 08.04.06 - 6:15 pm | #
welcome to my world...
Barney is my hero. He should be the hot slut for the month of August. I would adopt Barney in a heartbeat and he can go ballistic on all the priceless stuffed animals he wants.
It's the canine equivalent of going postal. Go Barney!
the doberman in question is very pretty, a sweet looking "killer dog".
They better not do anything to this poor dog for ripping up a bunch of stupid fucking teddy bears. What kind of dumb shit gets a dog to guard teddy bears anyways? If you care that much about them, get a HUMAN!!
Oh please! I have a half lab/half pitt bull, and she tore up thousands of dollars worth of carpet, moulding, furniture, comforters, stuffed animals, you name it. But she is a DOG. That's what DOG'S do. Especially puppies. But I was aware this could happen when I adopted her. These people are just really dumb to leave this poor baby in a room with STUFFED ANIMALS. Duh!
Did he just say he was talking to a teddy bear?
I love this fucking dog! I saw the segment on the news and the dog actually had a look on his face like he knew he did something wrong! I would've paid money to peek into the window and watch Barney tear those bears to shreds!
How dumb are those people? Hiring a dog to guard teddy bears? Ever heard of a high-tech security system? The bears were only worth around $100,000 total, anyway. I smell lawsuits. Lots of them.
scene; barney returns to the display room after getting a drink at the toilet. he's mad that his master didn't leave enough water in his dish. barney goes over to the teddy his master handled and sniffs at it.........
teddy bear mabel: "bitch."
barney, sounding like scooby doo: "ruh?"
teddy bear mabel: "whatchoo sniffin at, bitch?"
barney sniffs harder.
teddy bear mabel: "you heard me, bitch ass."
barney looks around, bewildered. the other bears start snickering.
teddy bear mabel: "look at de big ole doberman, he gonna keep us safe and sound!"
other bears: "heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!"
mabel: "the other dobermans are out protecting warehouses and yards, but they sent ole barney here for the big job."
barney goes over to his spot, lays down and puts his head on his paws.
another bear: "barney???!!! haw!!! what kinda name is barney for a doberman pinscer?"
barney whimpers and does that thing dogs do with their eyes.
all the other bears are laughing at barney and joining in: "hahahahahahahah, barney, barney, barneybarneybarney...."
barney: "gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........."
mabel: "ooooooooooooo, big barney's mad!!! oooooooooooooooo, i'm scared!!!"
other bears: "barney, barney, barneybarneybarnee--......"
barney: "bark bark bark bark!!!......."
mabel: "AAIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!....."
another bear: "OMIGOD, HE'S GOT MABEL IN HIS MOUTH!!! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!!...."
barney ragdolls mabel all over the place as teddy bears look on in horror: "GRRRR-RRRRRR" "AIEEEEEEE-AIEEEEE!!!"
another bear: "RUN, RUN EVERYBODY, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"
still another bear: "WE CAN'T RUN!!! WE'RE TOYS, YOU FOOL!!! OMIGAWWWD, THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!.........
AIEEEEE!!! AIEEEEE!!! GRRR-RRRRR!!!"
INTO THAT AZZ: THE SAGA OF BARNEY
it helps to have a cartoon mind after all...........
HAHAHAHaA!!!!!
strap-on mama's boy | Homepage | 08.05.06 - 10:43 am | #
LOL
strap-on mama's boy | Homepage | 08.05.06 - 10:43 am
exactly....
letinstar, it's your fault, your inspiration. i swear, i spent my whole day off buzzin, takin care of chores, runnin errands and giggling my ass off. people looked at me like i was crazy, more than usual i mean.....
Let's see, Elvis had a teddy bear.... Elvis loved all sorts of bizarre foodstuffs that dogs also love... let's think hard about this.
For some reason, I really like Barney. I hate being confronted by minute Elvis memorabilia too!
And like people have said, he's a dog. People give dogs stuffed toys to tear up and play with. If he's left in a room with stuffed animals, what else is dear lil Barney gonna do?
"Pit bulls are fucking useless and this only supports my theory that these dogs opnly appeal to the lowest common denomiator: criminals, white trash and Oakland Raiders fans."
Try not to be so ignorant. I'm no criminal. I prefer the Jaguars to the Raiders. And I'm absolutely POSITIVE I'm not even close to being white trash. I own 2 pit bulls and have 2 daughters under the age of two. People need to stop blaming a breed because of the owners stupidity. My dogs absolutely ADORE my daughters, but I'd NEVER leave them alone with my girls!! Even if I had Chihuahuas, I STILL wouldn't leave them alone with them!! The mother needs to take the responsibility for her actions.
Barney should get his own reality show. They should put him in the Guggenhiem and watch him piss on all the great masterpieces. Crazy Hijinx!!!
Commenting by HaloScan
