1st bitches
last pic with hubby:
"I call Shennanagins! First them rented tittay's, then you go broke, and now THIS?"
Yuck
she really is one ugly ho. Those eyes look like someone squeezed her neck too hard
hahahha that's hilarious, mk.
i bet that dog gives her a hot lunch on a daily basis
At least the dog is covering up her weird cleavage.
She looks like 30 miles of hard road.
(Pissing my pants laughing)
Dean looks homicidal.
heeheehee - good stuff
her face looks kinda weird
still, i'd hit it
you should have seen her before plastic surgery...
hahahah... very funny mk!! luv it!
hahah...oh man I was having a serious phone conversation when I read the last part and started laughing...needless to say it was awkward.
MK you are my king...or queen...whatever...
What's with her hair? Fug much?
Holy crap! That caption probably made me laugh harder than anything on here before. Damn! and Haylie Duff 
Her husband looks like he's about to hurl. I would too, if I had to hit that. *shudders*
what is with the dirty greasy hair look, you are so rich but you and Brit can't wash your hair?
Star Jones chest scar.... 
they both look so poor (and her husband looks like he's contemplating biting his leg off to get away from her and her karmic hurricane)...
GD, the last pic looks like her male impersonator.
In other news, camel toe got chewed out right in front of me and I am experiencing esquisite schadenfreuden glee
Does he ever have a different look on his face or is that one painted on. That wonky eye gives me the heeby jeebies.
give her some credit ...... she is still smiling after all, 1 million is just pocket change.
MK you make me piss myself - your one funny bitch
The new hubby is prolly shitting himself now that he has to continue to pretend he is in love w her even though she has no money (and he has to pay child support to boot!. I would look homocidal looking too if I were in his position.
MK,
GO YANKEES 
GOD DAMNIT, I DON'T CARE HOW POOR YOU ARE, FUCKING SHOPLIFT THE $7.98 BOX OF LOREAL.
My Grandmother rocks hotter caftans.
Dean looks homicidal.
pats | Homepage | 08.07.06 - 2:36 pm | #
You'd be too if you married that for the money... And there turns out to be no money....
(I realize I am parroting what everyone else said, but whateveh)
I bet her dirt-star tastes like bristly hair..... (I don't know...)
Mishma
"In other news, camel toe got chewed out right in front of me and I am experiencing esquisite schadenfreuden glee"
What does this mean...who is camel toe?
Dean looks heavily medicated.
DSS, my boss, I went off topic.
This has made my day, TOTALLY! Thanks MK!
looks like tori has slapped ol' dean around a few times, is that bruises on his face?
oh wait, looks like he's slapped her around a few times too judging by her face. somebody call the cops!
LMFAO MK!!!
Bwahahahhaha! Hilarious MK!
Great post, Michael K!
Da-yum that was straight up mean mk!
Let this be a lesson to us all....If you are going to dump your pregnant wife and little child to marry for money, make sure new beyatch be hot cuz you never know when her crazy muthah is going to cut her off.
Ugh. Now he is stuck with that fug tattoo of her hideous mug.
Is this bitch so broke that she can't afford to touch up her fucking roots?
MK, that was a straight up 10!! Best post evah!
And mishma, congrats on the camel toe news - what a splendid Monday this is turning out to be!
the poor dog looks like he's struggling to get away. can't say i blame him. 
You know it Suse! WOOT!!!! TY
WHICH ONE IS THE DOG?
that husband of hers creeps me the hell out!
does he ever take that dumb soap opera expression off his face!
Not to contradict the mighty MK, but I think Tori looks "not-as- equine-as-in-other-pictures" in these shots...
I saw over the weekend that one of the tv tabloid shows (Extra or ET) was airing "Tori's first tv interview since the death of her father" tonight.
Prediction: Tori will be playing the victim like she has perfected (well, for Tori) on all those horrible Lifetime tv movies.
(I wonder if they asked her about selling all her clothing on ebay and shopping at the Dollar Store?)
she is a bit of a bowser in the last pic.... hubby looks hot...she must give awesome head to have landed him even if he is a gold-digging man-ho
Am I the only one that thinks her husband looks slightly inbred with those eyes that are too close together?
OMG, MK.
That is so RAWNG!
I am crying over here!!!!
that dog is the CUTENESS!!!
she looks like the grinch.
Oh MK, you're on fire today, but you forgot to mention "Britney's placenta" as an item Tori can pose with.
ugrhhh...im melting. ew she is complete fug. how this woman ever landed a husband we may never know.
btw, her husband ain't the hottest shit either. look at those beady homicidal eyes.
*tsk*tsk*
She's doing her smile with pursed lips thing for that I have a secret and I'm not telling you or I have to take a shit look and he's doing his squinty mick squint squint I'm squinting to make me look even more like a rodent thing.
Vicious commentary and HILARIOUS. "sorry but your four legged friend looks like Angelina Jolie next to you."
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA
almost peed my pants
ugrhhh...im melting. ew she is complete fug. how this woman ever landed a husband we may never know.
btw, her husband ain't the hottest shit either. look at those beady homicidal eyes.
*tsk*tsk*
nunga-nungas | 08.07.06 - 3:35 pm | #
WELL TWO SUCKERS HIT "IT" FOR A CHANCE AT WHAT THEY THOUGHT WOULD MAKE EM MILLIONAIRES. LOL
OXA
Shes hotter than most of you fug lass; quit hating.
OMG MK--that was tooo funny!
I am betting looking 1,000 over than this fug, and I am missing some limbs
Is Paris Hilton's ham sandwich double talk for her vagina?
sofeckingloverly | Homepage | 08.07.06 - 2:43 pm | #
Eh, screw him! He's a golddigger, he's caught up in it too. But she is one serious coyote fuck, ain't she?
Ha ha ha! Dayum, MK, that was brutal!
You on the rag?
(BTW I'd say Parisite has more of a Monte Cristo sandwich.)
And now that she's poor like the rest of us, will someone please lock Quasimodo in a tower? It really is best.
wow, when she looks directly at you her face looks all distorted like a fun house mirror!
"you're" = "your", you illiterate fucking sodomite.
The husband is fug too.
tallulah - I AGREE. He looks as dumb as her actually
Poor Tori. Her father made millions casting sexy young beauties on television, she grew up wealthy in Hollywood surrounded by girls infinitely more attractive than her, and she has the kind of face that even plastic surgery can't fix.
Bless her, she looks like the daughter of Richard Kiel ("Jaws" in James Bond) her features look like a giantess. A dozen cute dogs can't cure that.
I love you MK! You are so funny.
I can't stop looking at her. She's like a bad accident. I know someone mentioned this before on D-listed, but she really does look like the kid on "Mask"
That is the most hilarious thing I've read in a long time.
*dead*
Michael K that was hilarious!
fuck. her husband looks like he wants to murder someone. then again if I had to hit that so would I.
Micheal....that was rough..
...wow..well' bitch had to know.
lmao...
Now that her networth has somewhat depreciated, he won't be around for much longer.
mama doesn't have money to get her roots done...
"I can't stop looking at her. She's like a bad accident. I know someone mentioned this before on D-listed, but she really does look like the kid on "Mask"
AffleckTheChav | 08.07.06 - 4:46 pm | #
OMG, I just went back and looked at that last pic, and you are SOOO right! Even my heartless ass is feeling sorry for her for that.
This beady-eyed opportunist will be divorcing her right after her final court appeal for her father's money bombs.
Stop hating Tori!! she's got a great personality and will be married 8 times at least..she's the adventous type and will laff her way thru life ahahahah!!
MK, you give such warm advices
It's one thing to have prominent slightly disagreeable features, it's another to look like an alien.I don't remember her being so strange looking when 9021ho first came out. I know she has breast implants but did she do something to her face?
MK -- Why were you born so effin' witty? You rule. I know it's gay, but thank you for making my day. -- cj
Is he carrying a manbag in his left hand?
The only blog that ever makes me laugh out loud--Michael K, you are the best.
I'm thinking her ?chiuahua? is better looking than Jake's pugly puggle.
mk- funniest shit i read today....
MK you take the biscuit!!!!
Why does Tori's husband look like he snorted a few lines of coke that was cut with a little too much Ajax??
FUGLY
Stop hating Tori!! she's got a great personality and will be married 8 times at least..she's the adventous type and will laff her way thru life ahahahah!!
Anonymous | 08.07.06 - 5:51 pm | #
Obviously you've been living in a hole all your life, so let me enlighten you: Getting married 8 times is not considered an enviable accomplishment.
But sure, showing your face in public when you look like Mask is somewhat adventurous, I guess. I'll give you that.
Why do the fuckin' weirdos always post right after my posts?
I like the purple.
I'm starting to appreciate this color- it's a color that looks very nice on alot of different people.
I wonder if hubby is gonna dump her now that Mommy Spelling has all but cut Tori Spelling out of Daddy Spelling's will?
I do believe that $$$$$$ had something to do with this relationship.
Tori Spelling has had plastic surgery.
I believe her appearence can improved with additional cosmetic procedures.
1. Jaw reduction.
2. Breast implant removal.
3. Refinement of her nose job(s)- her nose is too small for her face which makes her face look even larger.
There is nothing that can be done for her eyes- which are overly large and protrude from her eye sockets.
(Bulging eyes irritate me).
Tori should down the blonde hair and get rid of the dark roots.
She needs a fuller eyebrow.
She'll never be a beauty but she can be WORKED ON.
And yes, she should have this man's child while her eggs are still viable.
Tick -tock!
Women have a shorter time frame to procreate than men- nature is a bitch.
ouch that was HARSH!!!
I still say poor Tori. She better hang on to that puppy because judging from the look in her busband's 'eye', he won't be around much longer.
Then she will be homely, broke AND alone (wipes tear away) No one deserves that.
tori doesn't look human...and that dude is one step from drop kicking her ass...
That is the funniest post ever. i love love love love it.
Poor wallet fucking husband picked the wrong ugly rich girl.
Don't dogs walk on their own legs in Hollywood anymore? (They are constantly being carried around).
He looks so angry like, "I married this for money, the bank is empty and now I'm stuck with it??"
His face is so red. It looks like he has that skin condition... anyone, anyone? I am blanking.
*pissing pants* MK-you funny fucker
who is her that guy is he famous or anything
OMG I love you MK
roflmao!
heeheeheeheehee she DOES look like a little doggie.
meramari | Homepage | 08.08.06 - 2:39 am | #
rosacea. It just looks like sunburn to me though. Tori's overcooked too. She's MAUVE, for Pete's sake!
Tori is fugly as a Erick.Stoltz's Mask.
humm, MK, you know what? you like Zayra and that makes you a looser, the biggest looser that I know of in fact, "bigger" that Britney Spears as of late...
you should gouge out your eyes and fill your ears with acid, because, thatīs the only thing that could possibly fix you and your demented "taste" (in anything).
you are a very very sad and should propably kill zayra and then your self, but anyways, good luck with that!
(if you really do kill her and rid the world of her horrific lack of talent, Iīm leaving a thank you very much in advance, thanx... - and donīt forget to rid the world of your pathetic self, please)
She is the biggest horseface
she should get a bigger cut of dad's money because she has to live with his looks for the rest of her life - thanks dad!
and the husband is a fugly greasy looking Miami Vice wannabe - gross!
In this case, I say she could have done better.
I think women who date married men have issues with their parents and it's not the man , it's the act of stealing another woman's man to validate yourself - as now proven with how it's going down for her - haha
maybe she can use her last penny wisefully and buy a large brown bag to save the oorld from ever seeing her face again...
Oh she's so UGLY!!!
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