dunno this person 
In spite of the eighties porn hair, then.
but she was hotter THEN
Then, because she was 16.
Then. If you like chicks, that is.
she looks great in both 
hot Biatch
Then. She looked decent a few years ago, but now she's aging kind of badly.
Niether now nor then...
i still think of crybaby everytime i see her.
then
Then. But I'd still hit it.
I think now- that's a bad picture of her.
She looked best in the years in between these photos, she looked great in "Cry Baby" the John Waters film
Traci is cool.
then would be the understatement of the year.
I would take her tits then and everything else now. I think Traci Lords has done quite well for herself.
I would take her tits then and everything else now. I think Traci Lords has done quite well for herself.
Bad eye brow lift? That may explain why people think she looked hot 5 years ago but not now.
Skank then, skank now.
what? how can she look basically the same 20 years later?
neither. she is fug
I think she's hotter now as a MILF. During her porn career, she looked like a teenager with lots of baby fat. Now, she looks like a hot MILF and you know she squeals like a pig when you slap the salami in her cunt.
She irritates me, I don't know why and she's got the grossest mouth but then I'm sure that's where most of her talent is.
She's definitely had her brows lifted...and then some. I think she looks better then, but now she looks like that chick from the Hand That Rocks the Cradle - Rebecca DeMorney (sp?)
Is it wrong that I find her hotter when she was an underage, coke-addled porn star?
Above perviness aside, I do think she is way more interesting (and, dare I say, talented) than most of the new crowd?
Minus the 80's do I'd say then...
NE 1 see her in the Movie CRYBABY??!?!?! waaaay hot in that movie, its one of my faves. Not to mention Johnny Depp...ON FIYAH!
I'm shocked to see that I'm not alone in my love for Crybaby...Seems like everytime I bring it up ppl look at me like huh...Glad to see I'm not the only one who knows this movie exists.
Then and Now. Hot young slut and even hotter Mature slut.
She nearly destroyed the Porn Industry back in the 80's.
**What a decade**
She's one hot slut, then and now - I know more about her than anyone really should.
Then, but I don't really think porn queens are good looking. They just perform sexual acts--ho hum. (I'd rather do it myself than watch a movie of it.)
Now.
She looks like Kim Cattrall in the second picture
Always hot, then and now. Looks almost the same to me.
I think she's pretty in both, but I'll bet she was WAY tighter then.
Before,hands down! Minus the 80's hair,ofcourse. haha
Ive never seen Crybaby but Ive heard of it..Sounds GREAT! haha
She totally rocked in "Cry Baby"
the eighties hair is a plus, as is the airbrushing and pleather jacket. easy contest - then.
Both, either, yes please.
Considering the shit she's went through she still looks good. Not beat to hell like most porn vixens.
First porn I ever watched had her in it and that was back when they "thought" she was 18. She had skills.
ewww pig
people are fucking pedophile's.i hope you get caught on dateline. NOW!
people are fucking pedophile's.i hope you get caught on dateline. NOW!
tampachick | 10.20.06 - 7:32 pm | #
I have a feeling these people are just lonely with too much time on their hands who just want to piss people off.
She is a HOTTIE. Loved her brief stint on ROSEANNE. She's nobody's fool, either...very articulate, media savvy/trained businesswoman.
I'm shocked to see that I'm not alone in my love for Crybaby...Seems like everytime I bring it up ppl look at me like huh...Glad to see I'm not the only one who knows this movie exists.
Sarah | 10.20.06 - 7:02 pm | #
Oh god I loved that movie. Johnny Depp is the Hotness, I've loved him since 21 Jump Street (yeah I'm old). Sigh.
What were we talking about again?? 
GOD I love her "80's hair"!
Well duh, look at my gravatar.....sporting 80's hair!
Long Live "Dynasty" minus the shoulder pads that is!
Now if you will excuse me, I am off to slip into my "North Beach Leather" red dress..............
I think she's hotter now as a MILF. During her porn career, she looked like a teenager with lots of baby fat. Now, she looks like a hot MILF and you know she squeals like a pig when you slap the salami in her cunt.
Suckno For President | 10.20.06 - 6:56 pm | #
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She CAN'T be called a MILF as that stands for "Mother I'd Like to F**k" and I don't think she has any kids, so therefore she is not a "MILF".
I love Constantine Maroulis. I am his number 1 fan.
She is WAY hotter now because she KNOWS herself--she has RECOVERED--from the drugs, the porn, the sex abuse, etc...That is a lot of SHIT to deal with--in ONE lifetime!
that's a bad pic of her now. usually she looks pretty good. She's not a bad actor either.
*sigh* my first love...
Who else has heard her album? It's so hot!!!
then...where are the handcuff to take me away...
Neither.
Then or Now? It doesn't matter cause her pussy still stinks!
"Crybaby, you scorch me, man." All time classic line from a movie.
then, tracy is hot now.
Who else has heard her album? It's so hot!!!
Hugh Laurie's Bitch | 10.20.06 - 8:09 pm | #
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Are you referring to the one that was released back in the 90's?
In the recent picture, she reminds me of the deceased porn actress Savannah.
Chiyo aka Sayuri | 10.20.06 - 8:24 pm |
Yeah. Unless she's put out more... has she?
not even her bod and expertise in the bedroom kept her first marriage together.
she has nothing to offer but a blow.
about 10 years ago i saw her walking down the street in high heels and a short skirt. i had just rained and she did this cute little jump over a puddle. she was hotter in person than i thought she would be.
Hugh Laurie's Bitch | 10.20.06 - 8:26 pm | #
I didn't hear the entire album, but I remember that the video was on "The Box" back in the day.
hotter now -- because she's legal.
I thought she died of AIDS?
She is WAY hotter now because she KNOWS herself--she has RECOVERED--from the drugs, the porn, the sex abuse, etc...That is a lot of SHIT to deal with--in ONE lifetime!
ANON | 10.20.06 - 8:01 pm | #
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well put.
then of course!!! i've seen a couple of her porn clips and she used to be hot
I love Constantine Maroulis. I am his number 1 fan.
Rori | Homepage | 10.20.06 - 7:58 pm |
Kill yourself. NOW.
She CAN'T be called a MILF as that stands for "Mother I'd Like to F**k" and I don't think she has any kids, so therefore she is not a "MILF".
VooDooVixen | 10.20.06 - 7:54 pm | #
-----------------------
lol doesnt matter.. once she is past 38 or something she is a MILF. once she reaches the motherhood age whether she is married or not, she is a MILF LOL@ your comment.
Exactly how many men has she had in her hooha?
She looks like Katherine Kelly Lang in the now pic...not too shabby for someone that's been used up
looks like my friend nicole!
"She is WAY hotter now because she KNOWS herself--she has RECOVERED--from the drugs, the porn, the sex abuse, etc...That is a lot of SHIT to deal with--in ONE lifetime!
ANON | 10.20.06 - 8:01 pm | # "
Blah, blah, blah. What you've said has jack to do with hot, then or now. Then, is the correct answer, because, as the photos show, she looks hotter then, not some pc bullshit feelgood reason like yours.
I am a little bit fresh on the planet, so excuse me for asking who the fuck is the broad? A porn star? Sweet! Oh and she def looks better then than now.
She's probably tighter now since her body has settled from taking in the likes of Holmes, North and jeremy every day. Traci was always hot - she was the biggest porn star of her time, because I think she seemed just so damn into it, which is shocking seeing how young she turned out to be. Rumor was that Tom Byron knew all along. Plus, how can you not love that one line she says from her only legal (post-18 years old) movie..."I'm drunk on cock!"
Also, about the 80's hair...notice how so many fat fucking cows (especially from the south) still have that exact hair?
I am from the South (Texas to be exact) and I straight-iron my hair everyday so I do not blend in with the fat cows with big hair in this area. LOL.
This chick was hot then and I think she is even hotter now.
Exactly how many men has she had in her hooha?
She looks like Katherine Kelly Lang in the now pic...not too shabby for someone that's been used up
lovzit | 10.20.06 - 8:37 pm | #
i bet her hooha still smells better than yours, fishtwat
Then. She was like 10 but she was pretty. I hate the whole I-was-used-by porn crap she preaches now. You know she loved that shit!
The only thing I've ever seen her in was Crybaby. I'm not into chicks, so she didn't do anything for me then and she doesn't do anything for me now. And I never saw any of her porn.
"lol doesnt matter.. once she is past 38 or something she is a MILF. once she reaches the motherhood age whether she is married or not, she is a MILF LOL@ your comment.
Anonymous | 10.20.06 - 8:37 pm | #"
LOLZ... "motherhood age" is 38?
NEWSFLASH: Women can get pregnant as soon as they've had their 1st periods, genius. Yes, like at 12, 13 years old. Look it up.
38 is, like, "in vitro fertilization" age. It's the "last chance: biological clock is ticking" age.
LOL @ your blubbering ignorance. "MILF" is some phrase sold to you by a porn site, sucker.
News Bulletin: Perez Hilton, the marginal internet gossip columnist, was arrested last night. He was caught committing oral sex upon a homeless person in a public restroom in Griffith Park in downtown Los Angeles. He was charged with public fornication. Additional charges of resisting arrest, and destruction of police property were lodged against Mr. Hilton after he impaled himself anally on the arresting police officer's nightstick. After he was searched at the Precinct 14 police station, Mr. Hilton was charged with felony possession of methamphetamine.
Who cares what she looks like? All you have to do is rent one of her porn flicks to know that she is one hot fuck who takes any and all of the cock that she can any way she can. The 300 plus men who blew penis snot inside her various orifices before she hit the age of 18 can't be wrong!
THEN!
neither.
She took big cocks up her asshole better than any porn slut before or since
Ginger Lynn (born Ginger Lynn Allen on December 14, 1962, Rockford, Illinois) is an American actress best known for her work in pornographic films of the 1980s and B-movies. AVN ranked her at #7 in a list of the 50 greatest pornstars of all time.
Allen was born to 18-year-old dock supervisor Wayne Allen and 19-year-old switchboard operator Marilyn Allen née McBride. Life in the Allen household ranged from dysfunctional to pathological, where she was subject to abuse mainly by her mother.
When Allen's father left in 1968, the abuse worsened as her mother blamed her for all her problems. Her only refuge were Wayne Allen's parents, who gave her emotional support and positive reinforcement, however the catch was that her mother controlled the visits. Also, Allen had very little in the way of friends during her childhood, resulting in the creation of imaginary friends which seemed very real to her. Her grandmother recounted that this lasted "a very long time".
Allen attempted suicide in 1974, using sleeping pills and other over-the-counter medications her mother was using. She recalled that she was in a catatonic state for about three days; her mother did not help her in any way. Shortly thereafter, her grandparents took her away from her mother, after the grandfather, by chance, called the house and heard Lynn screaming in the background.
At 13, she had a boyfriend, who was a drug addict. Through this boyfriend, she not only began her descent into substance abuse, but also became pregnant -- and later aborted the pregnancy. This older boyfriend, whom she met in a park, became her first serious interest. She saved her money in the hopes of one day getting married.
Her grandmother introduced her to contraceptive devices after discovering her sexual activities. During her youth, she was attracted to older men not in school who were mainly abusive.
After graduating in 1981, she moved out of her grandparent's house; her grandparents subsequently moved to Lucern Valley, California. While she stayed in Rockford, she worked at a Musicland store as assistant manager and a bar waitress at night.
After ending her porn career, she began using her full name of Ginger Lynn Allen and found work in a variety of B movies. She was Charlie Sheen's girlfriend for several years during the early '90s.
Ginger had a late career comeback to the porn industry and made a short series of movies. During this two-year period she toured the country doing interviews for radio shows and appearances at adult stores.
Lynn had a long term relationship with Los Angeles radio personality Ralph Garman
Adult film career
Allen moved to California in 1982 after hearing about her grandfather's heart attack. After her grandfather died, she became angry at his leaving her, as he was the only positive male role model in her life.
A friend of hers, Brian, came to live with her and became the "first nice boyfriend" she ever had. However, Lynn was the major financial supporter in the relationship and needed to find a better paying job. When she answered an advertisement from the World Modeling Agency in September 1983, she was immediately hired and did a spread for Penthouse. This made her visible to the adult film industry.
She did some nude modeling work and then began performing in adult films using the name Ginger Lynn in December 1983. Her first film was Surrender in Paradise, where she starred with Jerry Butler and celebrated her 21st birthday in Hawaii.
Allen quickly rose in popularity, and eventually became one of the biggest stars in adult film history, making 69 adult films. She had her own line of videos through Vivid Entertainment with director Bruce Seven. Allen received the Best New Starlet award in 1985 from the Adult Video News and is an inductee to the X-Rated Critics Organization (XRCO) and Adult Video News (AVN) Halls of Fame. Allen's best work is in the award-winning Ten Little Maidens. Other career highlights include her performance as the neighbor who introduces Tom Byron to sex in Kinky Business and her work in Slumber Party with Eric Edwards.
Part of her early popularity stems from her common trait of performing anal sex and double penetration. In the early 1980's adult film market, these acts were relatively rare, especially among big-name porn actresses of her caliber. She also regularly performed at least one lesbian scene per film, which made her popular among fans. Allen's work was also distinguished by explicit and inventive "dirty talking" during her performances.
She was the first Vivid Entertainment Vivid Girl, beating out Traci Lords. She was later called to testify on Lords' behalf against porn producers; she refused, and according to her, she was then targeted by the Internal Revenue Service for falsification of a tax return. She also had a sex scene with well-known porn star John Holmes early in her career, in the Mitchell brothers' The Grafenberg Spot, in which she also co-starred with porn superstars Harry Reems and Annette Haven.
In February 1986 Allen decided to stop making adult films and attempt to establish a career in mainstream films using her full name. Allen appeared in several non-adult films, television shows and even interactive movie segments of the computer games. During than 1990s and up to the present, she made occasional appearances in adult films, usually in lesbian-oriented segments or lesbian-oriented themed films.
In December of 2005, Ginger Lynn appeared in "American Pie: Band Camp"(2005) playing the small-role of Camp Nurse.
In March 2006, Ginger became a host of Playboy Radio's Sirius Satellite Radio show, Night Calls Radio, alongside Christy Canyon.
Trivia
In 1991, Allen was convicted of falsifying a tax return and spent seventeen days in jail. She also spent time in a rehabilitation center during this period because of cocaine abuse.
Allen had a two-year relationship with actor Charlie Sheen from 1990 to 1992.
Allen starred in the music video for Metallica's cover of Bob Seger's Turn the Page.
News Bulletin: Perez Hilton, the marginal internet gossip columnist, was arrested last night. He was caught committing oral sex upon a homeless person in a public restroom in Griffith Park in downtown Los Angeles. He was charged with public fornication. Additional charges of resisting arrest, and destruction of police property were lodged against Mr. Hilton after he impaled himself anally on the arresting police officer's nightstick. After he was searched at the Precinct 14 police station, Mr. Hilton was charged with felony possession of methamphetamine.
Suckno For President | 10.20.06 - 10:10 pm | #
ahahahaha Oh how I wish that was all true.
Traci Lords (born Nora Louise Kuzma on May 7, 196
, also known as Traci Elizabeth Lords, is an American actress. She first achieved notoriety for her underage appearances in pornographic films and Penthouse magazine (she was 15 years old in her first film), but has now made the transition into more mainstream acting roles.
Early life
Nora Louise Kuzma was born in Steubenville, Ohio to Louis and Patricia Kuzma (born name Briceland). She made her stage name by combining the first name of her high school best friend, Traci, and the last name of her favorite actor from Hawaii Five-O, Jack Lord. At twelve she fled from her abusive, alcoholic father to Lawndale, California, with her mother and three sisters.[1] Later, while attending Redondo Union High School which she entered in 1983, she had an abortion which she paid by herself and after having a nervous breakdown, ran away from home. While living with her mother's ex-boyfriend, who posed as her stepfather, she used a friend's birth certificate and a fake driver's license indicating that she was twenty-two years of age to fake her way into the porn industry at the age of fifteen, starting with Jim South at the World Modeling Agency in Sherman Oaks, while assuming the name Kristie Elizabeth Nussman.
Shortly after, she was modelling for widely distributed adult magazines, most notably Penthouse, in the same September 1984 issue that exposed Miss America 1984, Vanessa Williams. She quickly became one of the most popular starlets in town, and by now ventured into Adult movies. Her first being "What Gets Me Hot!" followed by "Those Young Girls", both made in the first half of 1984. Lords' youthful appearance and enthusiastic sexual performances propelled her to stardom and she is considered by many to be one of the first porn queens. By the time she was 18, she'd appeared in 100 adult films. (According to Lords in her autobiography, however, approx. 80 of those films were composed from leftover and re-edited footage from the original 20 films that were shot.)[2] . But in 1986, federal authorities discovered she was underage while making movies and they arrested her, as well as the owners of her movie agency and X-citement Video, Inc. See United States v. X-Citement Video. The ensuing prosecution against the agencies cost the pornographic film and distribution industry millions as they were obliged by law to remove hundreds of thousands of her videotapes, films and magazines from store shelves to avoid the risk of prosecution for trafficking child pornography. (In her book, Lords suggested hypocrisy on the part of the porn movie producers, writing that they did get richer from the scandal's publicity as they complained of losing a lot of money.)[2] Lords herself was never charged, since as a minor she was unable to give informed consent to perform sex acts on film for money. Instead, the agents and producers who accepted her fake IDs were charged and people affiliated with the films in question experienced legal troubles for years.
Only one of her films, Traci, I Love You, was actually produced after her eighteenth birthday and is the only one legally available in the United States. Perhaps ironically, this is also the only film of hers that she has ownership of. This has led to unsubstantiated claims that it was Lords herself who tipped off the authorities. The presiding theory behind this was that she waited until she made one film when she was of age because she knew all her others would be pulled off the market immediately. Traci, I Love You was in fact a huge hit after the truth came out. While many duped associates in the porn industry believe or point to this theory, nothing has ever been proven to back it up. Lords opposes this belief in her autobiography, writing that she knew nothing of people's real names or who produced which film and did not provide such information to the FBI. [2] In parts of Europe and other regions where the minimum legal age for involvement in pornographic films is lower, Lords' films and images in a variety of formats are still legally available.
The controversy still sparks debate. Government prosecutors declared that Lords was a victim of a manipulative industry, maintaining she was drugged and made to do nonconsensual acts. But industry insiders, like Ron Jeremy, Ginger Lynn and Tom Byron, as well as boyfriends say they never saw her use drugs and that she was fully aware of her actions even if, as a minor, she could not legally consent. While Lords decries the pornographic film industry, she continues to use the stage name she gave herself as a minor, and ultimately made it her legal name. She stated that she isn't trying to hide from her past. [2]
The Justice Department was forced to drop all charges when it was revealed that the fake ID which Lords had used to dupe the pornographic film industry was a U.S. passport in the name of Traci Lords - the government had been duped, and any defendant would simply have been able to hide behind the government's error.
A new beginning
Leaving her porn past behind her, Lords moved into mainstream films. She has played roles in a number of B-movies. At 18, Lords began studying at the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute, and soon after, starred in a remake of Roger Corman's cult favorite Not of This Earth. Then in 1990, Lords' mainstream career was legitimized when she was added to the cast that included Johnny Depp, Ricki Lake, and even Iggy Pop, in John Waters' Cry Baby, playing the role of Wanda Woodward. Other movies on her resume include Blade, Extramarital, Black Mask 2: City of Angels, and Chump Change, the latter of which won her a Best Actress Award at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival.
In addition to movies, Lords has also made many appearances in various TV shows, including Married... with Children, MacGyver, Highlander, Tales from the Crypt, Hercules, Gilmore Girls, and Will & Grace among others, along with recurring roles in Profiler, Roseanne, and Melrose Place. From late in 2000 to 2001, Traci Lords appeared in the Francis Ford Coppola produced sci-fi series First Wave, playing "Jordan Radcliffe", the newest member of a group called Raven Nation that combats extraterrestrial aliens.
In the 1990s, Lords began developing a career as a singer, performing vocals for Manic Street Preachers on the single "Little Baby Nothing", and also appearing in the music videos of other performers and groups. In 1995, Lords made her solo debut, in collaboration with Juno Reactor and Jesus Jones' Mike Edwards, called 1000 Fires. The album was a hit with critics and club audiences.[citation needed] The Juno Reactor-produced first single "Control" proved a smash, reaching a peak of #2 on the Billboard Dance Charts. "Fallen Angel", the second single off the album, earned a lot of attention because one of its remixes ("Honeymoon Stitch Mix") was produced and remixed by Chad Smith and Dave Navarro, with a strong indie and "alterna-chick" sound. The lavishly-produced video for "Fallen Angel" was directed by Stéphane Sednaoui, who had also directed such high-profile videos as the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Give It Away", and Madonna's "Fever". Lords' music isn't a mindless dancefloor affair; she marries highly addictive beats and sonic landscapes to personal lyrics.[citation needed] "Father's Field", from 1000 Fires, may be the best example, in which a very suffocating musical framework gives place to a harrowing, personal account of sexual molestation as a child. After a couple of years of musical silence, Lords returned to the music scene in 2004 with a new, independently-produced recording, the double A-side "Sunshine".
In 2003 she published her autobiography, Traci Lords: Underneath It All (ISBN 0-060-508-205), which made the New York Times bestseller list. In December, 2003, Traci wrote and directed a short film with Fox Searchlab entitled Sweet Pea, released and shown at film festivals in 2005. Loosely inspired by an experience recounted in her autobiography, it's about a teenage girl who finds herself doubting everything in her life (God, family, etc.) after being raped by her boyfriend.
http://www.tracilords.com/member...5/
gall_002.html
Barely any makeup on in this picture, baseball cap on, and she is hot as hell. That picture on the right is a terrible pic of her.
Then! And this bitch was so hot on Profiler.
Then and not liking the bangs now. WTF bitches? 
Whoever wrote the novel up above needs to get a life. Where is Mishma and all the other losers in here?
Rey just bought me some Jimmy Choos! He is also taking me to St. Barts and buying me a new Coach Bag!
Shit head- You suck monkey balls. 
this chick knew how to eat pussy damnit...
You meant Crotch bag bitch!
I used to be a porn star but I was way hotter than Traci Lords. Until I started living in my mom's basement and eating sausage 24 hours a day. Then I got super fat and farted all day long.
EWW MOUSE IS A FUCKING LOSER.... SHE IS STILL HERE?
I filled the ratwagon up with cheetos. Did you guys eat them?
Yeah I'm still here bitch!! You know I am on the internet 24/7 and I control all things Dlisted! YOu are just jealous and want to steal my new crotch bag bitch!
You fuckers are crazy! Who is Mouse?
I am the biggest troll on here!
I am a lying scum bag
I hate Cheetos. They taste like shit. 
I am Hagface Carter's girlfriend!
BITCH quit stalking me! For the last time I will not touch your fat ass, let alone fuck you! You look like Margaret Perrin and you smell like hashbrowns bitch! Mouse or Kris or whatever your name is - don't make me file a restraining order!!
You bitches are crazy. I'm out of here. Fucktards.
MousE you ARE a FAtty HA HA HAHA
I want a dirty sanchez. A really smelly one with corn in it!
I am out of here too and back to the room. SNORT.
now
Now- she's lived it- owned it- worked it- got over on everyone- GOD BLESS TRACY LORDS!!!
yo bitches its me i am drunk as a skunk whos there
oh its me no anjl
Hello MooMoo you hot bitch.
And that is NOT the real NoAnjl. Bad person. WTF? NoANJL has a gravatar, bitch.
Sassy Hot Ass its me i am over my sis in laws its me babe
That is my REAL NoAngl. How are you sweets? Drinking I bet.
this skank was never hot...butt fucking ugly
NEWSFLASH: Women can get pregnant as soon as they've had their 1st periods, genius. Yes, like at 12, 13 years old. Look it up.
38 is, like, "in vitro fertilization" age. It's the "last chance: biological clock is ticking" age.
----------------------------
LOL way to prove you are a dimwit.. that wasn't my point.. my point that women over the age of 37-38 are usually referred to as MILF(whether they are mothers or not). btw it is a term started by porn sites or whatever, i dono but it fits well so everyone uses it.
went down to her crotch gave her cock a real quick lick
and realize my tongue wasn't going to shrivel up, so I did it again. Her
cock was hard and hot, just like mine, but smooth like her skin. I
worked it over just like I'd have done my own if I could, and with her
hands in my hair, I finally got the nerve to inhale it.
It was neat. Like a big sausage but I knew it was alive and loving it.
I licked it and ran my teeth over it, ran it all around my mouth and
pumped up and down on it. It took me a few minutes to get used to it
but I quickly decided it was cool, and Sheila was just going nuts. She
was bouncing and panting and carrying on, and that just made it all
better. When I knew she was going to cum I pushed it back as far as I
could without gagging and let it go in my throat. I had to fight the urge
to puke, but with a few swallows I got it, and then I cleaned up the rest.
I'll admit I don't like the taste of cum. It's like laundry bleach to me,
but once I got past the idea that semen would poison me I wasn't bothered
much by it. And if my old girlfriends could do it, I could.
Now Sheila had shot twice today and I hadn't come at all, so we both knew
it was time. I wasn't sure what to do, but she had an idea. She was
real limber, so she pulled her knees up against her chest, lubed up my
pole and led me in her backdoor. We were doing the missionary! Normally
the missionary doesn't do much for me, but I could kiss her (and how), I
could suck on her tits, and the feeling of her cock and balls rubbing my
belly while I pumped her was out of this world. I shot off way too soon
even though I kept trying to hold off.
She gave me a jack-off show, how cool it was to have her cock in one
hand and a beautiful breast in the other, until I was hard again. She
washed me off and gave me the head of my life.
For her turn, she lubed me up and took me doggie-style. I really didn't
want to do it at first--I thought that was too much, but she was laying
across me holding me tight--her tits rubbing my back and her hair in my
face and her lips on my ears, her hands on my nipples and my chest and
her dick sliding easily in and out of me. The prostate stimulation made
me writhe in ecstacy. She came inside me and jacked me off to another
incredible blast at the same time.
It was that time of year again, when the wife packs up the kids and goes to grandma’s house for a week. I usually stay behind and entertain myself by renting about a dozen porn movies with any title that catches my eye. After two days of watching porn and jacking off I realized that it just wasn’t working for me and I needed more attention. I needed some human contact, I remembered stopping at one of the adult bookstores and getting a quickie blow job earlier in the year. I consider myself straight having never touched another man’s cock and the blow job was something I received. As long as I was receiving the blow job and not giving or touching the other man I was still straight. I got to the bookstore walked in, got my tokens and went into the backroom. There were several guys just standing around and eyeing me as I pasted. In my mind I could see one of these guys giving me my blow job in just a short while. I picked my booth in the back corner, walked in and dropped my token in the slot. The movie started and I kept switching channels till I found one with two guys sucking each other’s cocks. It wasn’t long before someone entered the booth next to me and dropped his tokens in the slot and started watching his movie. I waited for about two minutes for him to come to the hole in the wall but he never came over. I bend over and looked through the hole to see what was keeping him and I saw him standing there with his pants down around his knees and stroking his cock. I guess I must have been there too long because he turned and immediately stuck his hard cock through the hole into my booth. He did it so fast I almost got hit in the eye by his cock, but there it was an inch away from my face and hard as a rock. I did the unthinkable I opened my mouth and started sucking his cock. This was my first taste of cock and I knew immediately that I loved it. I sucked like I would like to be sucked and took more and more in as I got harder and harder myself. I unzipped my pants and started jacking-off, never missing a stroke of this tasteful cock. All of a sudden he pulled his cock out of my mouth and back to his side of the booth. I looked through the hole and saw him exit the booth and close the door behind him. As I was starting to zip up there was a knock at the door and I opened it. It was the guy from the booth and he walked in and closed the door behind him. He pushed me down on the bench, unzipped his pants and with his cock still rock hard rammed it into my mouth. He grabbed the back of my head and started fucking my mouth faster and faster. I knew he was going to cum but I kept sucking faster and faster waiting for my reward. He finally shot his load into my waiting mouth and I swallowed all his cum. I looked up at him and he said thanks that was great, zipped up and left the booth. As I sat there still a little dazed over what had just occurred I noticed someone looking through the hole. He called me over to speak to me, so I leaned over to hear what he had to say. He said that was a good show are you still hungry for some more cock. I told him that I was cock hungry and he needs to feed me his cock. He stuck his cock through the hole and I almost passed out from shock at seeing this monster black cock coming through the hole. I have seen a lot of videos with monster cocks but it was quite different in person. I opened wide and started taking in as much as I could but I could only suck about a third of this monster. I was so excited that I was cumming without even touching my cock. My lover just kept getting harder and harder as I sucked the head and jacked the remaining body of this beautiful cock. He started pulling his cock back through the hole I thought this was going to be a repeat of the earlier episode. He then passed a tube of anal ease through the hole and told me to lube my asshole. I lubed myself and passed the tube back to him to lube his cock. I backed my ass to the hole and waited for the attack of the monster, but instead he stuck one of his fingers in my ass and worked it in and out and around till I was open. When I was loose enough he inserted two fingers in my ass and started finger fucking it. I was so excited that every time he pushed his fingers in my hard cock would jump and I was close to passing out from pleasure. He then put his monster against my asshole and started pushing in as I was pushing back, even with the lube it still hurt and I thought he would split me in two. I refuse to stop, I wanted the entire monster in my ass and I gave one big push back onto his cock. He started pumping in and out and working the monster deeper and deeper, all the while driving me into total ecstasy. I felt his cock swelling up and then cum started pouring into my ass and I started cumming and cumming. He finally stopped moving and I stopped moving to catch my breath. He slipped his cock out of my ass and I fell onto the bench. I zipped up and I heard him zip up and then he came to the hole. He said if your not doing anything tomorrow come on back around 5:00 and lets do it again. I told him I would be back tomorrow for some more sucking and fucking and then he asked it he could bring a friend or two to enjoy my mouth and ass. I told him to give me his number and we could meet at a hotel and I would service him and as many of his buddies as he could bring. He said that a deal and wrote down his phone # and gave it to me. I think after today I am a gay, black cock loving slut and loving it. Follow up story cumming soon.
About a year ago I was with my girlfriend Terri, and best friend Mike out on a summer day screwing around, drinking, and just having fun. We decided to go over to Mike's condo, and see if his roomate,Ben is there. We thought we would order a couple of pizzas, and kill the night away. Mike, and Ben are both black. Mike is quite small in stature, but Ben is a monster. I often wondered about Ben and Mike, are they gay? I asked Mike and he just looked at me and rolled his eyes, so I never brought it up again. Terri is my dream slut. I have always wanted to date someone who wouldn't say no, to anything. She doesn't. When we first started going out, I asked her how many men had she been with, I also told her it would not be held against her, and that I would answer honestly any and all questions she had for me. Terri stunned me when she told me that I was the 48th guy she was with. Then she informed me that with the exception of a small few, everyone fucked her ass bareback as she loved the feeling of cum squirting up her butt. I immediately fucked her in the ass. Terri is short, 5' 1", 125lbs with huge tits,and a fantasticly round butt. Me? I'm 5'7", 165, and I sport an average 7" cock. Anyways, we made it up to Mike's condo, walked in and we all just stopped. There was Ben, fucking the living shit out of this white guy. The stereo was on, and they never heard us. I got an instant hardon that Terri did not fail to notice. Mike started to apologize and suggested that we leave and return later. I looked at Terri and dared her to slide in front of the white guy and offer her ass. She stunned me and said "only if you fuck him when Ben is done". well, times'up because Ben started grunting and cumming up this guy's ass. Terri asked me if I was ready, and I decided to up the ante. I told her I would fuck this guy if she ate my cum (and Ben's) out of his butt. She said sure if you eat his cum out of mine, and I want Mike to fuck you up your butt at the same time, then I will eat his cum out of you. At this time Ben turned around and saw us. terri'sjaw dropped when she saw the size of Ben's prick. I didn't know they came that big. I approached Ben and asked him if I could have some of his friend, he just smiled and told me to enjoy myself. Terri knelt in front of Ron(we quickly found out),and asked himtofill her ass. He hesitated, but Ben told him it's an asshole, tag it like any other. Ron had a nice sized cock, and when he slammed his dick into her, she turned her head, looked at me and said bigger cocks feel sooo much better in my ass than yours. That really turned me on and I proceeded to give Ron all I had,and next thingI was unloading in his ass. it didn't take him but a few more seconds to do the same to Terri. She had Ron bend over the couch and she started to eat his ass, and I did the same to her.This was a first for me, but I also ate his cum out of her ass. all of a sudden I felt a finger in my ass. Mike has crisco, and he is lubbing me up. Thankfully he took his time, this was very uncomfortable. I'm also glad Mike has a smaller cock-maybe 5". After a couple of minutes with his fingers, I felt his cock push it's way up my virgin ass. Terri stops to watch the action. She was ordering Mike to fuck me faster, and he picked up the pace. It didn't take long and Mike was giving me his load. When he pulled out, she ate my ass. I actually camewithout being touched. I wasn't sure that was possible. Ben said he felt left out, so I invited him to shove his monster into Terri. She licked her lips, turned, ans wiggled her ass at Ben. He took his time,she was screamimg, but she took the whole thing. He claimed it was 12.5".I wasn't arguing. Ben pounded Terri's ass,then he tightned up and came in her. I was rock hard and I fell in her butt as soon as Ben pulled out. Terri, Mike,and I spent the rest of the evening in his bed, fucking, sucking, feeling, and sleeping. The next day, Terri told me that we have to order pizza again very soon with Mike, and hopefully Ben.
On one particular night I did try a new bookstore and quickly found a booth with a GH. When I heard someone enter the other booth and saw the fingers through the whole I went into action. I put on my condom and stuck my dick through the hole but nothing happened. I heard a lot of movement and then the sound of his belt being undone and his pants going down. It was normal noise you hear all the time so I thought nothing of it. All of the sudden I feel pressure against my dick. This was not a warm mouth taking me in so I was confused as to what was going on when it hit me. He kept moving in and out and I realized he was trying to get fucked. All of the sudden my juices started to flow really hard. I finally felt my head enter him and slowly little by little my dick was inside him. I did nothing but let him do all the work and about three minutes of this I came. To this day I do not know how I entered him without lube. When I left all I could think about was how it would feel if I had someone do me. After three weeks of attempting to do this then chicken out at the last minute, I went for it.
There was this one bookstore that had some really good holes and action. It was late Saturday morning; I bought some lube and several condoms then headed to the bookstore. The place was packed with guys. My regular booth was being used so I started to walk around. I walk into the movie theater area and while watching the movie I noticed a tall guy in his late 30’s, long blond hair checking me out. After a while you know what certain looks mean and I knew he was looking for action. I decided to go back to the booth area and wait. As I settled against the wall in front of my favorite booth and wait for it to be free when the tall blond came by and settled himself in front of a booth which happened to be next to me. I could see in the corner of my eye the guy looking at me.
Finally! The door opens and I enter the booth, at the same time the guy in the other booth leaves so I know the Blond hair guy is now in the booth next to me. I begin to flip channels until I find a video I like. Looking at the hole I see the guy looking through the hole waiting for some action. Feeling brave all of the sudden I put my fingers through the hole and invite him to put his dick through. When I saw his dick I was shocked. It was big! Too big for me to have him fuck me, this was going to hurt. I start off giving him a blowjob, at the same time I finger myself to try and loosen myself up. I’m ready, so I take the lube and put some on the condom and some in and on my asshole.
The guy begins to insert his dick and I feel pain so I pull away and wait for it to go away. Again he tries but he is slow about it as if he knows he hurt me the first time. Once he is fully in he begins to thrust in and out real slow. Man, I started to enjoy it. This was one of the best feelings I have experienced. I could not believe how good this felt! I kept adding more lube and he kept pumping faster and faster. Looking down I noticed I was cumming! Not once did I touch my self and there was cum dripping from my dick. My whole body was relaxed and enjoying the experience. The guy started to thrust as fast as he could and then he came. He was in me for another 15 – 20 seconds before he pulled out. I did not hang around for the next guy or clean myself up.
I left the bookstore and went straight home to shower. As I was cleaning up I realized I was still horny. Even though I was cumming during the fuck I never really got myself off. As I masturbated I imagined the blond guy fucking me. Three fingers were in my ass as I played with myself. I came very hard and my whole body felt like it was cumming.
To this day I wish I had hung around to talk with the blond hair man. I would have loved to been his fuck buddy. I never saw him again but what he did to me that day left me wanting more. And I did get more but that is another story for another day.
I
couldn't help but look at the tent he was making in his pants. I wanted to
go over and grab him but I think it's the fear of rejection that keeps me
from making the first move. He is sitting there in one of my chairs and
tells me to come over and stand in front of him. He reaches into my boxers
and pulls my hard cock out. He likes the new shave and plays with me
before putting it in his mouth. He feels so good but I wanted to lie down
on the sofa. We striped and I lay down and he continued to give me head.
He wanted me to come and so did I. It was a very powerful orgasm and
thought for sure I blew the back of his head off.
Now was the time I had waited for. I scooted down his body and began to
bathe his cock and balls with my mouth. I would take him all the way in my
mouth then slip down and suck his balls. Then I began to rim him. He
loves it but he would never say that. That's the difference between Sam
and I. He will make the first move but don't like to talk about it. I'm a
bit afraid to make the first move, but love to talk about it. Maybe that's
why I write these. Well on with the story. After a while of this oral
assault by me Sam asked me to put it in him. What was I to do? I'd never
let a friend down. I slid my cock inside him till I felt my balls resting
against his ass cheeks. He was still wearing his sweater and shirt. I
worked my way up the front to play with his nipples while he got used to
me. He started to grind and I knew he was ready. I started to pump him at
a decent pace, but Sam wanted it faster. I was afraid of cuming again but
did as he wished. I shot my load when I heard him say he was going to cum.
I hadn't even touched his cock. I watch his expression for the sign he was
close then pulled out and dove for his cock. No sooner had I got it in the
back of my mouth and he exploded. I had a mouthful of cum and went back to
sucking him. He was to sensitive and needed to get home so we called it a
night.
It’s been a month now since Dan confided in me about his bisexual fantasies and only two weeks since our first real MMF encounter. When I listened to my husband describe his fantasies and several dreams he’d had, I have to admit, I was somewhat shocked. But the moment we shared our first blow job and had another man’s cum mingling between our tongues, I knew I was hooked.
We talked about Ken (our first) a lot and when we did I was always assured of stirring my husband’s sexual desires. I teased him frequently with comments like “hun, I loved looking into your eyes while he shot his load into our mouths”. I would laugh but deep down the thought of my macho husband and me sucking and fucking another man became an obsession for me as well. In the weeks that past since meeting Ken, Dan and I experimented with every sex toy in the house. The dildos and vibrators were previously reserved for my pleasure but I didn’t mind sharing them one bit. Dan quickly became accustomed to taking “big blue”, my 12” favorite and I loved fucking him with it too. However, our world changed forever the day I introduced Dan to that 16” double headed dildo. We fucked each other silly and when my pussy made contact with his ass and we lost sight of that monster cock it was our greatest accomplishment together ever.
You can not imagine how many “straight” guys will agree to male on male contact when a woman suggests it. Our second encounter happened very much like the first. Dan and I strolled into our favorite hotel bar and seated our selves next to a younger and great looking business traveler named Gary. I started some small talk, allowed my short skirt to climb up my legs and before ya knew it the three of us were openly chatting about everything, including sex. While Dan paid a visit to the men’s room, I told Gary about my husband’s bisexual fantasies and that we were hoping that he could join us for the evening. It was then that Gary confided in me about some bi-fantasies of his own. He was more than willing to share those desires with us. When Dan came back to the bar he was happy to hear the news and before we could finish our drinks we were all headed to Gary’s suite.
In his suite, Gary popped the cork on a bottle of white wine while we all decided to get naked, more comfortable and much more open in our discussions. During our disrobing, I asked if anybody minded if I took control of the evening’s events. Dan and Gary both agreed that they would do anything and everything I desired for the rest of the night. My pussy was dripping wet before either of them even touched me. I was in heaven! By the looks of the boy’s cocks, they were just as excited as I was. My Dan’s cock is exceptional. Eight and a half inches of pure pleasure and very little recovery time. Gary, I learned quickly, was equally as large as Dan but not quite as thick. This would soon prove to be VERY beneficial.
I pulled things together quickly by reaching out and taking hold of both dicks. I stroked them into full erections and then introduced each of my men to the other’s cock. I’m not sure how other women think when it comes to watching MAN SEX but it drives me simply wild. When I saw Dan wrap his hand around Gary’s hard dick and begin to stroke it, I had to gasp for my next breath of air. WOW, this was going to be someeeeeee night!
I first directed the boys into a side by side 69 position. My eyes feasted on their mouths devouring each others cocks. I watched the veins on each shaft pulse as they worked their tongues and I knew they were both pleased to be doing what they were doing. When my senses came back to me I realized that I had four fingers in my cunt all the way to the knuckles. I was so fucking hot I couldn’t see straight but managed to blurt out my next instruction. Gentlemen, I said as I positioned myself on my back, please kneel here on either side of my face. I want to sample some of this beautiful cock myself. While I licked and sucked on Dan’s dick, I held and stroked Gary’s. Then I reversed the order until I felt Gary’s dick grow harder in my mouth. I stopped short of making the poor man cum but was pleased when he provided my first taste of pre-cum for the evening.
My next call was for some needed relief of my own. I asked Dan to lick my pussy while Gary tongued my ass. The men were too willing. Before long my first of many orgasms took over and I was riding two tongues for all I was worth. My juices flowed and Dan’s face resembled a glazed donut when I finally pulled myself apart from their snaking tongues. My GAWD, I’ve never cum like that before! But I was willing to do it again and again… Calling the shots was really getting to be fun and I got more creative as the night went on.
Gary was the first to fuck me while I sucked Dan’s cock. It started in the missionary position but I wanted more. I told Dan to lay on his back while I straddled his face in a conventional 69 position. I then directed Gary to slide his meat into me dog fashion. While Gary pumped his cock in and out of my sopping wet cunt I told Dan to suck Gary’s balls. He readily obeyed. Then I asked him to slide his tongue into my pussy right next to Gary’s cock. I was being fucked and eaten at the same time I was enjoying the sexiest show I’d ever seen. Needless to say, I didn’t last long. My pussy contracted as though it had a mind of it’s own and my juice spewed over Gary’s hot, hard meat. It was too much for poor Gary to take and he moaned once, closed his eyes tight and shot four hot blasts of cum deep into my wanton hole. He continued to pump till our combined juices flowed freely out of my engorged cunt and were covering Dan’s face while he greedily lapped and sucked at every drop he could reach.
It was only then that I realized that there was another very hard dick just waiting to be fucked. I slipped gently away from Gary’s softening dick, reversed my position and sat squarely down on Dan’s manhood. I gasped at his hardness and while I rode him hard I instructed Gary to suck my husbands balls while I watched. Gary complied with a smile!
My pussy lips tightened around this familiar cock until I knew I had him. My Dan’s dick exploded and Gary had a birdseye view. I rode my happy hubby until his quaking stopped and his hot jism turned to a buttery mix that flowed out of my hole and down his shaft. Gary feasted on the treat and smacked his lips when there was no more to eat.
We all sampled some wine while we cuddled in each others arms. It wasn’t long before both men had their hands roaming on each others hard cocks again. I do believe they loved the feel of another man’s dick in their hand. While we accomplished a lot already, there was something else that would NOT be without tonight. I wanted to get an up-close and personal view of my husbands first ass fucking. I knew he wanted it that way too.
I rolled over to Gary and slipped his cock into my mouth and began licking, sucking, stroking and lubricating with my spit. Both men knew what I wanted next. Dan assumed the (all fours) position without even being asked. I moved from Gary’s dick to take on the task of lubing my husband’s ass. I buried my tongue while Gary patiently waited his turn. When Dan’s asshole was dripping with saliva I moved over far enough to help guide Gary in. It was the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. Watching my husband slowly take this hard cock deep into his ass as he wailed in pure pleasure. When Gary was fully inside I gently massaged his nuts and told him to pump that ass for all he was worth. I watched these two men fucking till I thought that I couldn’t stand it any longer. At that point Gary threw his head back and drove his cock deep into my husband’s ass and held it there while the hot cum sprang from his dick. It was several minutes before both of them collapsed in a heap and I was right behind.
Our evening was officially over after a shower for three. Gary will be back in town late next week. I think we’ll see him again, don’t you?
As a teenager, I was all hard-ons and hormones. From the moment I could get stiff, I can remember sneaking around to find places and ways to get off. All my fantasies centered on women, usually shapely women whose pictures I’d culled from my mother’s women’s magazines or from used porno rags I’d found in the acres of woods near my house.
I spent a lot of time playing sports after school, but days I didn’t have practice I spent combing those woods for used porn. There were two places in the woods that were always fruitful, one was a clearing at one end of the woods that our neighbors used as a dumping grounds and the other was a highway rest stop that served as the boundary of the other side of the woods.
During my freshman year of high school I broke my left wrist playing soccer (lucky I’m right handed). Although disappointing at first, I found it freed up a lot of time to scour the woods and get off. Since both my parents worked and all my friends played sports, I was pretty much left to my own devices (or vices) after school. That freedom made me ache for classes to end and the long bus ride to my house to finally deliver me to my playground.
My searches were always fruitful and most afternoons you could find me jerking my cock to a recently discovered copy of hustler near the dump. After a while, the reserve at the dump was depleted and I started spending more time near the rest stop.
I was naïve then, and had no idea that rest stops, like the one near my house, were used by gay men as a place to meet and hook-up.
One day after arriving home from school, I changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and darted into the woods towards the rest stop. I hopped the chain link fence with butterflies in my stomach, anticipating great finds. I scoured the ground but found mainly used condoms and a few scattered news papers. Finally, I spied a magazine with some color photos and bent down to inspect it. It was a body building mag with shots of muscular guys pumping iron. I was mildly aroused by the naked sweating skin, but guys didn’t do it for me.
As I stood to leave, I noticed a man not ten feet from where I was crouched. I hadn’t seen him approach and his presence startled me. He was only about 5’9”, about 6 inches shorter than me, and looked to be about 40 years old, 25 years older than I. He had on jeans with a large belt buckle and a flannel shirt. He wore silver shades that blocked his eyes. He wasn’t menacing, but his presence made me uncomfortable.
Pointing to the magazine on the ground he asked, “is that yours?”
“No,” I said, a little embarrassed I had even flipped through it.
“Oh” he said, as he sidled up to me and pinched my ass. “Would you like to join my friend and I?” he said pointing to another man in the distance I had also not seen until then.
“No” I replied emphatically, insulted that he thought a kid like me would want anything to do with two dirty old homos.
I hopped the fence back into the woods and ran off. Once I got home, I had time to reflect on the incident. Although I never considered myself gay, I was suddenly totally aroused thinking about the encounter. The man was so brazen and forward. It thrilled me to fantasize about what may have happened had I not turned tail and run. For years later I thought of that encountered and fantasized about watching those two men fondle and fuck each other, and then about them kneeling before me and sharing my cock and it’s cum.
Four years later, I finally decided to do something about it. After a night shift of waiting tables at restaurant in town, I’d gotten pretty sauced with some of the other floor staff after work. As I was heading home, my cock began to throb thinking about the possibility of free sex at the rest stop. I’d driven by many other nights, but never had the balls to stop and check it out for fear of getting caught by the police, or worse, someone I knew.
This night I decided to throw caution to the wind and pulled into the rest stop hoping to get lucky. The summer night was warm and steamy and there appeared to be a pretty good turn out, with about ten cars parked. As I eased down the line, a tall strapping man came into view as my head lights danced on his body. As I pulled to a stop, he approached my car. I rolled down the window and he asked how I was doing that night.
“Pretty good” I stammered, shaking from the sheer exhilaration of what was happening.
“What are you looking for tonight?” he asked.
“I don’t know” I said, “First time.” “What are you looking for?” I inquired, still shaking with adrenaline.
“Calm down, its ok,” he counseled. “I’m looking to suck cock.”
“Me too” I said. And I was. I wasn’t even thinking of getting a blow job. All I could think about was getting a hot, hard, cock in my mouth. I wanted to know how it felt to be in control of a man’s member, to make him beg you to finish him, to taste his skin, fondle his balls, and, most of all, swallow a big mouthful of cum.
Since we were both looking to suck, I decided to get out and play the field a bit to see what else was out there. After all, you never buy the first item you see. So into the woods I went in search of cock. I passed a bunch of guys who all seemed to be paired up and engaged in all manner of sex acts.
Since I felt somewhat comfortable and bit attracted to the bulky man that greeted me, I decided that receiving a blow job would have to do for now. So I sought out the man whose lips I now needed to have wrapped around my cock and found him right where I had left him.
When I found him, I told him I had changed my mind about looking for a cock to suck and now wanted him to give me my first gay blow job. He looked pleased and grinned as he led me to a clearing in the woods.
He reached down for my cock and I shuttered. I was so nervous and excited I was actually shaking all over. As he fondled me, I reached for his cock. We pulled each others out and for a brief moment compared our respective meat. We both agreed we each had lovely cocks and continued to stroke them.
After a few moments of having this strange man work my throbbing member, I was ready to go. I asked him to drop to his knees and he kindly obliged. He ran teasing fingers up and down my shaft until I practically had to beg him to envelop my cock with his mouth. He began with the tip, swirling his tongue in brilliant circles around the mushroom head of my cut cock. He then ran his tongue the up the length of my shaft, and when he returned to my cock head, he gave it a gentle kiss. He then swallowed all I had to offer in one swift motion. As he bobbed up and down on my cock he gently fondled my balls, tickling the hairs and making my entire body shutter with excitement. After a few moments of this treatment, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I announced that I was about to cum and sent gobs and gobs of sticky me shooting down his throat. He dutifully lapped up all I had offered and then sucked anything that was left from my stiff rod. When he was finished, he stood up and grabbed my ass and promised me he’d be there whenever I swung by again.
The blow job was fantastic and it exhilarated me in a way that made me even hungrier to suck my first cock. Emboldened by my first gay experience I took off looking for my second. I searched the woods and found a man who had just finished sucking off another. His partner had left and he was free and looking for more. I approached him in the darkness, not really able to see what he looked like. From what I could make out, he was roughly six feet tall and muscular.
I asked him what he was looking for, since that seemed to be the ice breaker most used there. When he said he was looking to get sucked off, I dropped to my knees, ready for my first taste. He put his hands on my shoulders and I unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped his fly. I gently eased his pants down and saw a monster cock awaiting my attention. I slipped his boxers shorts down past his knees, exposing a large and intimidating package- and it wasn’t even fully erect yet. I was nervous to suck my first cock, but this was almost too much for me. I was still shaking from head to toe with the excitement of the entire situation.
I began stroking this monster and reveled in its growth. When it had raised to its full length it was roughly nine inches. Not a record breaker, but quite a challenge for my virgin mouth. I stroked it with both hands and began to suck lightly on his balls. Taking a tip from my latest exchange, I sent a testing tongue up length of his shaft. I licked the tip with vigor and then dove in. I took as much of him in as I could and continued to stroke what was left of his cock. After about a minute of this action, I could feel his cock get even stiffer and knew he was about to cum. I readied my mouth and throat for his onslaught as best I could and braced for the rushing goo. When it arrived it slammed into the back of my throat. I couldn’t believe how forceful it was. I swallowed what I could and licked the rest off his tip and my hands.
When I was finished, he reached down and pulled me up to him. Thanking me, he gave me a long and powerful kiss, another first for me. Feeling fulfilled, I headed back for my car. I left vowing to return.
This is a true story about an experience I had at an adult bookstore. I had been making every other week business trips to a city a couple of hours away. It was always a two-day trip. I would drive up Tuesday evening, have meetings all day Wednesday and then return that night. I began going to a couple of adult bookstores when I got into town. They all had video booths in back and several had glory holes. I’d generally suck a couple of cocks and once had a guy go back to my hotel with me for some fuck and suck.
One evening I was extremely horny and had already been playing with myself at the hotel. I went out to a place I had never been before. It was little seedier than the others were, if that is possible but I was in the mood for something a bit seedier. I never have had trouble finding guys as I’m in good shape. 41 years old, 5’10” and about 185#. An average 7” cock. I love to suck cock and am also a very active bottom. However, I’d never taken on more than one guy at a time. I was ready to fulfill that fantasy tonight.
I went in and at first glance it appeared to be the same as the others. When I went to the counter to get some tokens I noticed a door to the side and a sign saying theatre entrance. So I bought a ticket and went on in. It took a couple of minutes for my eyes to adjust to the lighting. It was an actual movie theatre. I had came in right beside the screen so I walked up the side aisle to the back. There was a small wall about chest high at the back so I leaned against it for a few minutes to take everything in. There were maybe 4 or 5 guys spread across the theatre and behind me there was a balcony a few steps up. I could see a couple of shadows up there also. As I leaned against the wall I noticed a guy behind me leaning in the shadows of a small alcove. His hand was slowly moving and it was obvious he was jerking off.
He saw me looking and made no effort to stop. Since I was so horny I pretty much threw caution to the wind. I moved back to near him and unzipped and began stroking my own erection. Since he kept casting glances at me and not stopping I took that as a green light. I moved right next to him and reached out and began stroking him. He leaned against the wall and let me take over. I stroked him for a minute or two and then knelt in front of him. He was only about 6” but had nice low hanging balls. I licked and sucked his balls as I continued to jerk him. As I sucked his balls I reached behind and squeezed his ass cheeks. I licked up to his extremely hard cock and could tell he was on the edge. I began to take him into my mouth and squeezed his balls at the same time. That was all it took and he blasted into my mouth. I tried to swallow it all but he shot too much. Some dribbled down my chin. He relaxed and I pulled away, licking my lips and wiping my chin. He zipped up and said thanks and walked towards the exit.
As he walked down the aisle I saw him stop and say something to a guy sitting towards the front. He kind of looked my way and I figured he’d told him I had blown him. I continued to play with myself a bit and then the guy down front stood up and walked my way. He walked over to me and asked me if I was looking for more fun. I said sure and he said why don’t we go into the balcony. I figured in for a penny in for a pound and said sure. I followed him up the few stairs. It was an old, old theatre and the stairs were hollow and squeaky. So everyone in the theatre knew someone was going upstairs. When we got up there I noticed that there were two other guys there, sitting side by side. There were only about 5 or 6 seats in three short rows. Behind was a wide area and then a kind of bench built into the wall wide enough to sit on.
He walked behind the two guys and then I noticed another guy between one guy’s legs sucking him and at the same time jerking the other guy off. He stopped right behind the couple and sat on the ledge. Motioning me beside him. He leaned over and asked if I had been to the balcony before. I said no I’d never even been in the place at all. He said this is where most of the action happens. The clerks leave everyone alone and everyone knows to come up there for fun. He asked what I was into. I said I love it all, top, bottom, especially cum. He laughed and said well in another ½ hour you’ll be able to have all of it that you want. He said the local manufacturers shifts change then and a lot of guy’s stop by on their way home.
I was getting hornier and hornier, thinking about this and also watching the guy in front of me. He would alternate between the two guys. The guy next to me had taken out his cock and it was a nice 7”. He asked if I wanted a taste and I said sure. He slid his pants down and I started licking his balls and cock. He had his hand on my head and was kind of directing me to do different things. I am very submissive and this really turned me on. I pushed me down on his cock and I relaxed my throat and took him until I felt pubic hair on my chin. He groaned and I slowly pulled back off. I heard a commotion behind me and turned to look. The guy sucking had stood up and I could hear them saying come back. He said it was late and he’d be late for work. They were pissed cause he had left them hard and not finished either of them. The noticed me and the cock I was working on. I thought what the hell and motioned them over to me.
As they got closer I noticed one was average built and had a cock of about 6 or 6 ½” The other. The other was a very in shape black guy with a nice 8” cock. Both were hard and said they needed relief bad. I stood up and pulled my shorts and shirt off leaving my shoes on. I said well I am ready to take care of every cock I can get tonight. I asked if any of them had any lube and of course no one did. The black guy said I’ll be right back and zipped up and headed to the lobby. I knelt back down and went back to sucking the first guy and the other guy. I heard the steps and thought the guy was back already with the lube but when I glanced over it was two new guys. They kind stood tot he side and watched so I went back to sucking. The black guy showed back up with some lube. I told them I had another hole ready for someone. The guy I’d come up there with took the lube and began lubing his cock while I continued to suck the other two guys. The new guys moved in closer and I felt someone’s hand son my ass. They had taken the lube and were working my asshole, getting me ready. I stood back up and turned to straddle the guy. I noticed there were now 5 other guys standing around with their cocks out. Other than the black guy none were exceptionally well hung and he was only about 9” So I knew I could take them all no problem. I’ve had 10” before.
I felt his cockhead at my ass ring and took a deep breath to relax. One of the new guys had dropped to his knees and was sucking a guy while jerking a couple of others. All the time everyone was watching me. I slowly lowered down on to his hard cock. It hurt at first as it always does but as his head popped thru I felt my ass relax a bit. I was pretty patient and didn’t start pumping me yet. As I lowered myself more I felt everything loosen up. By the time I felt his pubic hairs on my ass cheeks it was feeling good with no pain. I began to ride him up and down and he took that as a cue to start humping back up at my ass. I reached out and jerk a couple of guys as I slid up and down on his cock. After just a few minutes he said he was cumming. I slammed my ass all the way down and clenched my sphincter. Immediately I felt his jizz hit my bowels. As his cock stopped spasming I slid off him to the floor. The guy that had been sucking moved over and licked his cock clean. I thought hot damn another cum slut.
Someone slid in front of me and his cock was in my face so I started sucking it. He pulled his legs up wanting me to rim his ass which I was happy to oblige. I felt hands on my ass and then a cock at my asshole. After being fucked once I was nice and relaxed. The lube and the first guys cum made me nice and slick. It turned out to be the white guy with the smaller cock. He fucked me a bit while I sucked and I kind of glanced around. I noticed the other slut getting fucked leaning over a seat and three other guys with their cocks out. I felt the guy in my mouth tense and he rewarded me with a nice load of cum. I swallowed it all and as if on cue the guy in my ass exploded shortly after. As he pulled out I felt cum drip on my balls and then to the floor. My cock was about as hard as I ever remember it and I knew if I touched it I wold explode.
As the two spent men moved away another entered my ass. I could tell by the feel it must be the black guy because it was tight fit. The other two had finished and he was taking on another guy. With no cock to suck I was able to watch him. I couldn’t see his face but the light from the screen showed his ass and the cock going in and out very well. I could see his ass pull inward with each stroke. I was being fucked nice and slow by the black guy. I began to hump back against him and told him to fuck me hard. He took that to heart and really began pounding me. The other guy shot into the guy’s ass and pulled out and I could see a long string of cum stretch out. The guy pulled up his pants and as he did the other guy kind of slumped to the floor.
We both kind of lay there for a couple of minutes when the chairs squeaked as someone new came up. He was a little guy. At first I thought he might even be und*rage but as he got closer it was obvious he was older. There were two or three other guys still there but they had all zipped up and were just watching. As the little guy unzipped my eyes about popped out of my head. His cock had to be 9” long and it was still soft. The other slut moved over beside me and we both took turns sucking this cock. It began to grow and seemed like it wouldn’t stop. It was so big I
Sass wtf is up above i am too drunk to read all that - xo
*crickets*
Sass hot ass i miss you bitch i love you and it is me!!!!
Blah, blah, blah. What you've said has jack to do with hot, then or now. Then, is the correct answer, because, as the photos show, she looks hotter then, not some pc bullshit feelgood reason like yours.
Anonymous | 10.20.06 - 8:41 pm | #
Dude, she looks like a slightly older Jon Benet Ramsey in that first pic. She looks underaged with a lot of makeup. I don't care if she's 18, 22 or 25 in that first photo. Maybe the Jon Benet Ramsey look does it for you, it doesn't do anything for me.
Personality, and overcoming a rough life ARE things that will do it for me. I have to again agree with the other Anon. She's hotter now than she was then because she's grown into herself. She knows herself. She's a survivor. She's hot, and the hottest as a mature woman.
You people claiming to like the underaged version are kinda scaring me.
I loved Traci Lords, underaged, being slamfucked by big cocks. Her first film was excellent - six well hung guys, including one mandingo nigger, fucking that tight 16 year old pussy hard. She squealed and grunted like the pig slut she is.
Nothing is hotter than Traci Lords fucking a hung nigger.
Neither: nasty ass before, older ass that's still nasty now
Traci is a cool chica. She goes to my gym and sometimes we are in the steam room at the same time which is sorta like a porn set-up...hahaaaa...but anyways, she was a kid when all that porn stuff went down and that was eons ago.
I know there's probably a lot of people out there that are skeptical of sites that give away items for "free," this site, however, is not one of those you need to worry about because it requires no credit card whatsoever. All you do is sign up and complete 1 or 2 offers (depending on how much credit they give - you need one full credit before you start referring). The offers are totally free and you don't even need to put in real info, just make up BELEIVEABLE info (i.e. Don't name yourself Juggely Buggely, try Johnson Kipton, etc.) After you receive a confirmation email that you received the credits (up to 24 hours for that email) you can start referring, which is what I'm trying to do now.
To my knowledge, this is legit because my friend from school knows the owner, so we got a lot of info from him. If they do stiff you, you didn't lose anything and you didn't give them your credit card number, so you just move on. Once you pick a prize, you can always change what you want from your member control panel. They have a very good AIM support screen name that can help with your questions OR you can ask me and I'll try to get an answer for you.
Thanks for reading/signing up.
SITE: http://NoCreditCard.YourGiftsFre...ee.com/?
id=2985
P.S. Referrals don't count until they have completed the offers and received the credit.
Les Suckno For President '08, you DO realize this is D-Listed, not the Penthouse Forum, right? Now go clean off your keyboard and get to bed.
Isn't there an Arquette who looks like the "Now" pic?
LOL!! MJF
Hi MJF!! Was there a porn fest last night?? HAHA!
Heya Fancy pants! Scroll up! Someone was getting in touch with his anal side.
*sigh* Alas, his keyboard probably saw more action than I did last night.
I read some of it hahaha!! Looks like he likes it up the ass.
Wanda sat on the bed, caressing one of her breasts with her right hand and using her left hand to massage her clit. She then came up with yet another kinky idea. "I want to see you two suck each other off."
John and Steve looked at each other. Steve smiled happily, while John was a bit reluctant. Regardless, he was extremely horny and wanted to see what another man's cum tasted like, so he complied. Since Steve was larger both physically and in terms of penile-girth, he got on bottom. John turned around and straddled Steve's face. Wanda began to push her first two fingers into her sopping-wet vagina. John felt his swollen penis slide into Steve's warm mouth. Steve immediately went to work, using his tongue on every bit of John's cock. John stared at Steve's erection, and hesitated just for a moment before fitting as much of Steve's big dong into his mouth as he could.
Both of them moaned as they sucked on each other and used their hands to fondle each other's testicles. Wanda was having a great time fingering herself. She put her hand on John's butt, putting a tiny bit of pressure on his anus with one of her fingers. He moaned. "Are you enjoying yourself?" His response was just a muffled moan of pleasure. John bobbed up and down on Steve's penis while Steve sucked away on John's dickhead. Wanda's finger was now in John's ass nail-deep. Both men were getting close as their tempos increased. Within moments, they were filling each other's mouths with their hot cream. Steve sucked it all down while John was only able to swallow about half. He thought it tasted fairly good, but the rest just couldn't fit and dribbled down his chin and onto the bed. Wanda removed her finger from John's ass and all three sat up on the bed. John couldn't believe how far he had let himself go.
Wanda's expression turned to one of discomfort as she announced "I have to pee quite badly." John questioned her waiting since the bathroom was just a short distance away. "That's what the panties are for…" she elaborated. "For the rest of the night, those panties are going to serve as our bathroom. If you have to go, you have to put those on, stand on those towels I laid out on the floor and go as you normally would." John was really unsure about this. On the contrary, however, he had always secretly had fetishes concerning this type of thing. His erection was re-approaching, and so he subsequently nodded his agreement. Steve stated that for the record, he was going to agree with anything. Pleased, Wanda stood up and slid the panties on, then positioned herself over the towels. She let out a slight sigh and then the panties began to become soaked as they dripped with her urine. Both men were watching intently and stroking themselves. She smiled and spread her legs a little as the speed of her stream increased. It began to run down to the towels in a near-constant stream. Finally she drizzled to a halt, slid the panties off, and returned to the bed. "Looks like you boys enjoyed the show. Now show me how much you like my body."
That was all the invitation they needed. Steve began to grope her tits and nibble on her nipples as his cock hovered next to her steaming slit. John guided his rock-hard cock into her pussy for just a moment to get it nice and slippery. He then used his hand to spread her butt-cheek and guided his penis into her tight butt hole. Wanda winced as John fit his entire cock into her backside. Steve wasted no more time as he injected his manhood into her pussy. The double-penetration was intense but appreciated. Both men were pumping their respective rods in and out of her simultaneously. She screamed with bliss as she achieved an orgasm. Moments later, John and Steve both ejaculated into her holes. They then withdrew. The loads were smaller, of course, but still of a decent quantity. Wanda stroked her breasts and looked at John. "I want you to suck me clean." she told him. John sighed but agreed. He started with her delicious twat, sucking Steve's load out and swallowing it. It tasted better than before in his opinion. Perhaps it was an acquired taste. After her mound was clean, he began licking her anus. She pushed and eventually John's load began to trickle out and down her crack. John lapped it up hungrily, and then sucked on her ass until all of his cum was in his stomach.
"I can't believe this." John muttered. After Wanda asked what he was worried about, he told her "I have to take a crap." She smirked at him.
"You know what that means." she said. John slowly climbed off of the bed and walked over to the pee-soaked beach towels. He slid Wanda's wet panties on and then put his hands on his knees in sort of a ‘half-squat' position. "Turn around so we can watch from behind." Wanda instructed. John did so and turned his back to them. Steve's cock was starting to get stiff again, as was John's. Wanda just went back to fingering herself, a smile never absent from her face as she watched John humiliate himself. A few seconds passed and John let out a loud fart. Then the turd began to inch its way out. It didn't take long before it ran into the back of the panties, however, and began pushing against them while filling any possible free space. At least it was a firm movement and not loose. After a couple minutes, it was done. John lowered the panties to his knees and examined his production. It looked as though it would've been about a six-inch piece, but due to the space restrictions, it was now smeared all over Wanda's panties as well as John's crack, and butt hole.
"What about toilet paper?" he asked. Wanda again grew a seductive smirk.
"Steve's tongue will act as your toilet paper. Now get back over here, we've got plenty more fun to have." she told him. John got back on the bed and lay on his stomach. Steve spread his butt-cheeks and began licking off the remains of his shit before the sex-capades continued.
....and here comes my Pop-Tart....*spew*
Les Suckno For President '08, aren't there porn sites you'd feel more comfortable posting this shit on? You'd probably score a much more appreciative audience who was actually looking to read this kind of stuff. Everybody wins!
October 21, 2006 -- BRANDON Davis has moved on from torturing Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan to a new target: Nicole Richie. The disturbingly sweaty oil heir showed up the other night to the party for the new Diane von Furstenberg limited-edition T-Mobile Sidekick 3 party in the Mr. Chow parking lot in L.A. and made a beeline for his pal Paris Hilton and Richie - who recently made up. Paris and Nicole were "throwing rose petals around while Debbie Harry performed" and all was well - until "Brandon snapped," our spy said. "He turned to Nicole and poked his finger at her and repeatedly screamed, '[Bleep] you! [Bleep] you! [Bleep] you!' at her until she left."
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE THIS GUY AND THAT SPAMMER JUST GO AWAY?
Given Brandon Davis' appearance, I find it rather ironic that his family made their fortune in oil.
So do I. I heard he's fuck buddies with Nicky Hilton. And he is also fuck buddies with Paris. Nothing like keeping the STDs and oil all in the family.
Well, being as greasy as he is, I'm sure he saves a lot on lube.
Oh now that was nasty! But strangely, I like it. Who do you guys think this is?
Which high-octane action-film star (who has had a lot of time on his hands lately) has just rekindled an affair with an old boyfriend?
Jean-Claude Van Dam?
Excuse me, has DLISTED moved. I came over to visit and say snarky shit about celebs and suddenly find myself in a bad porno novel. I'm gonna hread on over to best week ever and see if any of my friends are over there.
Yesterday's Daily Douche on BWE was a scream.
Oh no the porn fest is still going on. Dude put your weiner away!
I feel like I've just been flashed, repeatedly, by the dirty old man outside of K-Mart.
So do I. And I didn't even read any of it. I have ADD and when I see a long post my brain freezes and I have to pick my nose. Go figure.
Maybe this spammer thinks hes the bluelight special.
See ya later try not to get molested guys!
Shitfuck = her shit on your dick.
That is all.
Michael K, why don't you grow some balls and out Tom Cruise already?
That is all.
Jebus, Les has been raiding the bargain bin at www.literotica.com.
Loser, thy name is Les.
Les Suckno For President '08 | 10.21.06 - 10:18 am | #
up all night, eh?
My name is Tom Cruise,
I want to fuck your redeye
Sign my confidentiality agreement,
Your silence I will buy.
I can't come out of the closet,
My career would be at risk.
I'm glad you're too fucking
scared of me to dish
(Refrain)
Katie wore a pillow
During her nine month pregnancy
Suri, adopted in Korea,
We had a vacancy.
Cruz was a beard,
Nicole worked for pay,
Mimi didn't have a clue
I am absolutely gay
Succumb to my desires
Michael, this is your new gig.
I've always wanted my.
Very own cock sucking bottom pig
I want to suck your cock, Michael
I want to fuck your ass
I want to swallow your hot spermies
I'll make you forget all about gash.
(Refrain)
Katie wore a pillow
During her nine month pregnancy.
Suri, adopted in Korea,
We had a vacancy.
Cruz was a beard,
Nicole worked for pay.
Mimi didn't have a clue
I was absolutely gay
I hear ya blondie! But I don't think that Les could stay "up" with the help of two popsicle sticks and a rubber band- know what I'm sayin'?
I think Les has now morphed into "Tom Cruise" the blogger
No, I'm not posting as Tom Cruise.
Blondie, how many men have you slept with?
Although Tom posted a pretty catchy country and western tune about himself. I can see Porter Waggoner covering that.
I agree with the poster that said the term "MILF" has evolved into meaning any older woman who is hot and fuckable, not just actual moms. It beats "OWILF." It's kind of how someone will say "my car is running badly" when it is a pickup truck, or "let's go fuck at my house" when it is actually an apartment.
I do think tho' that anyone who actually says "MILF" as an actual word, pronunciating it, sounds like an asshole. It works much better in text.
Les, how many men have you slept with? Do they all abide by the statement "Les is more"?
Les, how many men have you slept with? Do they all abide by the statement "Les is more"?
dingleberry | 10.21.06 - 11:22 am
SNAP!
momoo | 10.21.06 - 11:12 am | #
touche'...and les, less men than you. and by the way less, hows the hand? too many cold sores eh?
or too many splinters? you tell us les, you tell us!
Well, I just squeezed one off on Traci Lord's photo.
So, uh, Les is sore?
yeah les, with the help of a sling shot. get it? sling shot? bwwahhhahahahha. your amazing!
"Squeezed" what off Les- a pimple?
...a turd?
les is a sore loser.
Sort of. At least he got him some!
The shiny newness of this "Les" toy has worn off. We need a new post.
I know what you mean Snoopy- but I don't think Les has lost any of his sores. I'm sure he "got him some" of those!
I wish I could still see the Viggo pic. from yesterday without having to go to the archives. Maybe I'd join in some of Les' fun!
I don't know if anyone has said this already, but doesn't she look like Rebecca DeMornay (sp) in that 'now' photo??
OMG- she DOES look like Rebecca!
THAT'S who she looks like!!!! Rebecca De.....whatever!!!! It was driving me crazy!
sort of mel. another one of toms bitches
Blonde, open your mouth so I can empty my nuts and blow penis snot on your tonsils.
Slut.
Laughing (and gagging) at "penis snot"
Oh, and, play nice, Les!!!!
les, les hon, "it rubs the lotion on its skin, or else you get the sores again". please follow your presriptions, your wasting precious time messing with me dear. ok?
love, me...
"...love, me..."
blondie #1 | 10.21.06 - 12:02 pm |
I think he was trying to love you, in his own sticky way!
Blonde, open your mouth so I can empty my nuts and blow penis snot on your tonsils.
Slut.
my tonsils have been taken out les. where have you been? must have been an idea in your dads sac at the time huh jiddo?
I didn't know it was possible for "penis snot" to penetrate the caked on, dried up puss oozing from those sores on the oh so "handily" and oft used dick of Les.
On topic, I wonder if Traci Lords just went into the plastic surgeon's office and said, "Give me the Rebecca Demornay". That's cool.
I think he was trying to love you, in his own sticky way!
MJF | 10.21.06 - 12:04 pm | #
i know... he means well, i guess...
Okay, I can't afford to hurl up anymore Pop-tarts. I only have 1 left! This place is grossing me out now. See ya when the new posts are up!
Slut.
Les Suckno For President 2008 | 10.21.06 - 11:55 am
Okay, so just so I know who to laugh at...............YOU posted all of that garbage yet Blondie is the slut?
Aaaaaand.............I just can't. Les, you are to easy to shoot. Like a fishie in a barrel.
Blondie - ignore!
moomoo | 10.21.06 - 12:05 pm | #
OMG!! moomoo...how it must be HARD for les.
you got it snoopy. but one more, les come here, wont you let me play with your shing-a-link? hahahahhhahahhaha!
Is Les a hetero dude?
Is Les a hetero chick?
What is this thing?
My guess is that Les won't confess he's a mess.
My guess is Les is a zithead in 9th grade whose only hope of having sex is a Jordan thread.
Blondie? I have to know. Is that Michael Alig in your gravatar? I would totally do that bitch.
Snoop- LMAO!!!
moo - am I wrong? On that topic, my gerbil ran in circles when he heard that recording of Jordan!
Hell no Snoop- you rock- and I think that is Michael Alig!
moo, did you ever read that book about Alig? Crud. I can't remember the name of it. It tells how the nurder really went down.
When Blonde jerks me off, she makes me cum in a bottle of Vaseline so that she can watch my spermies swim.
I slid my cock inside him till I felt my balls resting against his ass cheeks. I played with his nipples while he got used to
me. He started to grind and I knew he was ready. I started to pump him at a decent pace, but Sam wanted it faster. I was afraid of cuming again butdid as he wished. I shot my load up his asshole when I heard him say he was going to cum. I hadn't even touched his cock. I pulled out and dove for his cock. No sooner had I got it in the back of my mouth and he exploded. I had a mouthful of cum and shit and went back to sucking him.
Snoop- Do you mean Disco Bloodbath by James St. James?
My mantra for the day thanks to Snoop-
fish in a barrel...fish in a barrel
Hey Les? Virtual sex doesn't count here, so truck on down to the Jordan thread and have yourself a bloody good time. But wipe your monitor off first. That pesky orgamsic fluid must be a bear.
P.S. You can find the definition of orgasmic at merriamwebster.com or your most recent issue of myrighthandismybuddy.com
Thank you.
I rad that book, they made a movie about it, what was it called?
Snoop- ROFLMFAO!!!
Yes, moo, thank you! ASTA, it starred that dork from the Home Alone movies.
Les? *crickets*
Probably licking an old Shaun Cassidy picture.
It was "Party Monster" and Macauly played Michael
Was it Party Monster, had Seth Green in it too.
YES! That was it. Never saw it. But I would make Michael Alig scream like a bitch. Dag, he is the hotspot.
Seth Green played James St. James
That was a crazy movie, I miss being a club kid.
I wonder where James is today? Is Michael still alive?
yup! its michael alig! club king of NYC!!! he is the hottest bitch!
yeah, hes still alive, jsut doing time
Michael is alive and still in jail.
There is a website, partymonster.com, don't know how current it is.
James St. James has a myspace site- he's still workin' it.
ASTA | 10.21.06 - 12:57 pm | #
club kid? serious? you?
When Alig gets out..........all DList fans need to be there. He should know we all heart his ass!
Holy hell. I lived in freaking Vermont during the club kid days but I always knew who he was. He was my idol! He's the reason I came out! And oh what I time my family had.
When Alig gets out..........all DList fans need to be there. He should know we all heart his ass!
Holy hell. I lived in freaking Vermont during the club kid days but I always knew who he was. He was my idol! He's the reason I came out! And oh what I time my family had.
Aaaaaand why did that post twice?
When I was in school in Dallas, I think they came to a club we used to go to. I can't remember the name, not there any more. I saw them on TV and was like, hey I know those guys.
well, i hope to be there. and, revel in your freedom of coming out snoopy, its very liberating. you are fuckin awesome!
Thanks, blondie. Being closeted sucks ass. But it has to be your choice to come out.
ARE YOU LISTENING, PEREZ, YOU JACKASS?
Sorry.
Blondie - you out? Boy or girl or am I being an ass!?
Yea up until about a couple years ago, through a rave, didn't have a license, police showed up, was looking at 12+ felony counts, nothing happened but scaried me straight, still party on some holidays.
asta - against you? What in heck did you do?
Snoopy, you fatherfucking turd burglar, I hope you die of AIDs.
Les...weren't YOU the one up all night posting comments about slammin' asses? Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, pal. Now....*waving hand*....be gone.
selling alcohol w/o a license,after hours, to minors. Selling "E". No fire marshall permit. 3 DJ'S- no permit. Somebody semi OD. the list goes on & on
Incidentally, am I to assume we have to look at Traci/Rebecca's face all day???
Well put MJF! And, really, let's get some new shit up here!
selling "K" and some other stuff. was having a great time until 12-15 police showed up w/ the fire dept. My family owned a 3600 sqft warehouse, was one Hell of a party, about 300 people.
moomoo,
TY
no, snoopy. im a lady, LOL. but straight, but the majority of my friends are out-males and we have the most fun hanging out at clubs, shopping, cooking, drinking, oh the list goes on. but im a straight female, and proud of it! LOL
Shit my neighbor's house in on fire, I thought I smelled smoke.
ASTA | 10.21.06 - 1:37 pm |
No shit???
yeah, that "k" was some shit back then. i think they took that bus trip in 87. i could be wrong though, she threw some of the most wildest parties. i mean to the limit! michael is definately thee most fabulous chick on the party circut. her parties were always off the hook! her ass was wild, but lovable. i think he prefers the term "she". since he wasnt the butch in the relationships.
Blonde, I want to lick your clit and eat your pussy cum.
wow asta!! some memories, huh?
The last tired, vapid fumes are wafting forth from that pathetic, putrid piehole known as "Les". Here's hoping he breaks his straw and is on his last "line".
Where's MK?
I don't know, but somebody needs to take care of all those "porn" stories as they are foul.
Who let the sickos in today?
I bet they are a bunch of "fatties"
It's like looking at Kim Wilde and Brooke from Bold And The Beautiful.
where the gossip at?
Snoopy, you fatherfucking turd burglar, I hope you die of AIDs.
Les Suckno For President 2008 | 10.21.06 - 1:24 pm
Aren't you funny! Not.
Blondie, cool. I treasure my straight female friends.
What is a turd burglar, anyway?
Shit my neighbor's house in on fire, I thought I smelled smoke.
ASTA | 10.21.06 - 1:37 pm |
Really? Cool!
Okay, I'll say it.
LES! LISTEN UP, YOU SICK DISGUSTING FARTHOLE! WISHING AIDS ON ANYONE IS ABOUT THE LOWEST YOU CAN GET, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN! REMEMBER THAT YOU POSTED THAT CRAP ALL NIGHT LONG AND EXPECTED US TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO YOU! FUCK OFF AND DIE, STINKWEED! AND NO, EVEN THOUGH YOU SUCK ON ALL LEVELS, I STILL DON'T WISH YOU WOULD DIE OF AIDS. NOT TO SAY THIS WORLD WOULDN'T BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU, BECAUSE IT WOULD!
Thank you.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAVO!!!!! THROWING ROSES AT SNOOPYS FEET! THAT LITTLE BASTARD NEED TO GO TAKE A BATH. ISNT DINNER READY YOU LITTLE SHIT? GET FROM UNDER THE TABLE YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
Does anyone else need a cocktail?
Or a fucking bath?
mk must have went out last night. i bet he'll have a serious hangover. im sure he'll need a shower when he gets up snoopy.
WHERE THE FRIKK IS MK?!?!?!
I'M JONZIN' HERE DERNIT!!!
/
I guess! I am going to go mow my dumb lawn now. See you guys if we get a new post!
"LOL way to prove you are a dimwit.. that wasn't my point.. my point that women over the age of 37-38 are usually referred to as MILF(whether they are mothers or not). btw it is a term started by porn sites or whatever, i dono but it fits well so everyone uses it.
Anonymous | 10.21.06 - 1:54 am | #"
__
Your... "point" was to give the simplest, porn-site definition of a made-up word?
Thanks, but I already knew what 'MILF' meant, you ignorant fuckmouth.
(CLUE: I HAVE THE INTERNET TOO, IN FACT, I'M ON IT RIGHT NOW.)
And to contribute to your desperately-needed education, I'll enlighten you as to what "MILF" really means:
"...A woman, usually over the age of 30 who is subject to the infantile hyper-Oedipal mother-fucking fantasies of teenage boys..."
Thanks for playing, you drooling retard. Get back on the shortbus before it leaves for the 'special class' without you.
fuckwads
she's lovely
surprisingly she doesnt completely look like shit in either of them, but THEN
Still bang her, any day of the week
Exactly how many men has she had in her hooha?
Isn't sleeping with ron Jeremy alone bad enough? I love traci though. I went to her book signing, she was very sweet and she was gorgeous. in her book she says how after the whole porn fiasco, she had nightmares about ron Jeremy's beady eyes staring into her or something.
Les Suckno or whatever your name is, you are a fucking douchebag! Why don't you head on over to Penthouse Forum? Try out Mouse's blog why don't you? Are you her brother? Get the fuck out of here and quit posting your porn novels. If you are Mouse we will figure it out BITCH!!!!
Les Suckno go home.
Les Suckno sucks donkey balls! STFU!
I hate faggots. I love Traci Lords. I cum about nine times a day, usually inside a woman but sometimes in her mouth. Blonde wants to taste my penis snot and I vey well might oblige him. Perez Hilton sucks shit. Tom Cruise is a homo. Suri Cruise is adopted. katie Holmes was never pregnant; she wore pillows. Penelope Cruz is a beard for hire because she likes to munch carpet. Nicole Kidman was bought and paid for by Tom Cruise, who fired her when she got knocked up by a nigger. And all of you little boys who post on her suck eachother's nuts.
That is all.
hit with an overwhelming desire to play with her pussy and bring herself to a massive cum. Fortunately it was raining and the windows of her car were adequately fogged to give her some privacy as she reached under her dress searching for her already wet cunny. Immediately she realized that her pantyhose would prevent her from any satisfactory stimulation of her little button. No matter how hard she pushed, she couldn't put enough pressure on her fun spot to be enjoyable. Trying to control her car and pull her pantyhose down was tricky, but she finally managed to pull the damn things down below her ass and cunt and gain access to her nylon panties. Whew, this was better. Now Allison was massaging her pussy crack through her panties and could feel her wetness seeping through the cloth. Ummm, that felt good, but it would be better if she could just get her finger around the leg hole and put it in her cunt. She also wanted to taste herself - this always helped her get aroused.
For about half a mile Allison was content rubbing her button with one finger inside her panties and taking an occasional taste. Now her mind started to drift into her fantasy world and she visualized a lovely piece of shit and had an immediate desire to taste her own asshole. She lifted up on the car seat and tried to get hand under her ass to explore her back hole. Try as she would, she just couldn't manage to get her finger into her asshole. Damn, how frustrating. She finally gave up and decided to pull over and finish the job properly. Up ahead she saw a gas station with a shabby restaurant attached and decided it would be safe to pull in and park in a far corner. With all the rain, no one was likely to see what she was doing.
Once parked, Allison lay down as best she could on the front seat with her head under the steering wheel. She immediately pulled her pantyhose and panties off and spread her legs wide. Ah, this is more like it. She felt secure and wanted to take her time and have a massive organism. She even played with her panties for a while, sniffing and licking the wet nylon, further enhancing her arousal.
Allison dipped her finger into her cunt, got it wet and slid it down to her waiting back hole. She pushed in, hoping to meet some shit to dig out and enjoy while she finished bringing herself off. No luck...nothing but an empty hole. She smelled her finger and enjoyed the mild shit aroma. This only heightened her determination to have some of her own fudge to munch on while she came. This had become a ritual with Allison and she wasn't about to have less than a perfect cum. She thought about driving home and finishing things up there, but she was too aroused to stop now.
Allison pushed and grunted and thought she detected the familiar feel of a turd moving down her tunnel, but a quick probe with her finger produced nothing. She was determined and once again grunted and strained to move some shit to her waiting finger. With one final push Allison was rewarded with the touch of something firm against the tip of her finger. She relaxed, but the moving turd didn't stop moving. She tried to constrict her anus, but her shit had a mind of its own and suddenly slipped out of Allison's hole to lay on the car seat between her legs. Christ, it was beautiful. Allison ran her finger over the 8" length and felt her heart pounding with excitement. She was about to dip in and scoop up a fingerfull, when she heard the deep rumble of a large engine. Christ, there was a tour bus parked right beside her and people were getting off in droves. She then noticed that it'd stopped raining and the sun was shinning. Now what?
Allison quickly gathered up her trophy turd and then noticed an older man had stopped outside her car and was looking at her. Allison tried to lock her door, but it was too late as the man pulled her car door open releasing the distinctive shit aroma.
"Young lady, do you need some help?" He said, then seeing the large turd in Allison's hand added with a sly grin, "Uh, you shit yourself?"
Allison was too shocked to answer. The man turned to his group and called out, "you folks just go ahead...I'm gonna help this young lady clean up something in her car." He turned back to Allison and said, "my name's James, what's your."
"Uh, Allison." She answered, "guess I had a bit of an accident."
"You sure it was an accident?" James asked, looking at the turd cradled in Allison's hand. "Looks like you're kind of fond of that lovely piece of shit you're holding there."
The tour bus people didn't see James again until they returned from their lunch and found him standing by the bus drinking a coke. Later some of his fellow travelers commented on his breath.
Allison continued her drive home very satisfied. Her asshole was sparkling clean, thanks to James's thoroughness, and her panties and panty hose were back in place. Christ, what a day!
Ged was working for a football team in Twinnings. They weren't a bad team and they had a shot at winning the division title. Ged was more than a manager in that he worked in the office during the week and also helped on the field and in the clubhouse. Twinnings were to meet their rivals from across town. If they beat them, there was an excellent chance at capturing the division title. However, they lost a close match based on a very poor call by the referee. Even the victors admitted the call was poor. The team entered the clubhouse in a very bad mood. Spires, the captain was in an exceptionally bad mood. He was throwing things around. He tossed a chair that landed by Ged's head.
"Hey, Spires, take off the ref's head, not mine."
"Listen, twerp, I'm pissed, so just stay out of my way."
"No problem, but I like my head where it is."
"Fuck you."
"Eat shit."
That was something Ged should never have said. With that, Spires went into the closet at the back of the clubhouse and took out a huge board. It had hooks and buckles on it in a rather weird configuration. He threw it on the floor and Spires and some of the other players grabbed Ged and threw him to the floor. They ripped off his shirt and pulled his arms out and buckled them to the board. There was another buckle that kept Ged's head firmly in place. Ged's other clothing was taken off. Heavy weights were placed in such a manner that Ged could not move his legs.
"Now, asshole, what was that last comment? Let's see who's going to eat some shit."
Spires pulled down his pants, and squatted above Ged's head. "Listen, if you think you're not going to eat, think again. You may shut your mouth now, but I guarantee a method of your eating all we can dish out."
At that, Spires' asshole grew and opened and a long 10" log came out. It landed squarely on Ged's face.
"Gentlemen, this is simple. Watch carefully." Spires reached in and grabbed Ged's nose. Ged had this nasty habit called breathing. Simply put, with his arms in belts, unable to move, his legs held in place, Ged had no recourse but to open his mouth to breathe. Spires forced his load into Ged's mouth. "If you want to breathe, numskull, swallow and you can breathe through your mouth." Spires fed Ged the entire log.
Robertson had a great idea. "Why don't we just tape his nose shut. Then it's a done deal. If he wants to breathe, he'll have to eat." It didn't take long to do the deed. Robertson was next. He squatted over Ged's mouth and farted. The smell was putrid. But not as bad as what followed. He laid a hard log, seven inches long into Ged's throat. Ged held it in his mouth as if it were a dick. "Suck it, you son of a bitch." Not having much choice, Ged made some slurping sounds. He forced it out of his mouth with his tongue to catch his breath. Robertson picked it up and placed it in Ged's mouth. "Bite it." Ged bit. "Chew it up." Ged chewed. "Only when it's good and chewed, swallow." Ged chewed quickly to be able to get another breath. After he breathed, Robertson put the remaining part of the turd in Ged's mouth.
One by one the guys used Ged as a toilet. Spires came back, put his dick into Ged's mouth. "Drink, asshole," and Ged started to swallow Spires' urine. Robertson, Meadows, Bailey, and Corning all shat on and into Ged. Matthews came and moved the men away. Without a word, Matthews sat above Ged's face and had a load of diarrhoea over Ged's face. The smell was awful. The load landed not only on Ged's face, but leaked onto the floor as well. Ged needed to breath and ate Matthews brown elixir.
"You know, Ged, once we release you, you're not finished until the floor is cleaned up. You have to lick the shit up as well."
There was one more player who needed to use the toilet slave. Rogers. Now Rogers was known to be a shit man. When he used a conventional toilet, everyone knew the odors would be legion. No one wanted to follow Rogers into the bathroom. That's on a good day. Now, Rogers, a rather large man, known for his wild eating habit, came and hunkered over Ged. Ged's eyes grew wide in fright. He too knew of Roger's reputation. Rogers was about to outdo himself. Rogers started to defecate onto Ged. Ged held his breath as long as he could. He opened and started to eat Roger's shit. Roger scooted back and continued to shit over Ged's chest. He continued back and shat on Ged's cock. The odor was outrageous. There must have been 30 inches of shit on Ged.
Ged finished eating what was on his face. A mirror was brought over so he could see what the rest of his body looked like. It was just lying there. But Rogers was so pissed at losing this game, he took the shit on Ged and rubbed it all over Ged's body. Not one area was left clean. Then Rogers took his hand and thrust it in Ged's face. "Clean me up, dick."
Not having a choice, Ged licked Rogers' hand clean. By this time, most of the guys had to piss again. They gathered around Ged and pissed all over his body. Most of the shit slid off him onto the floor. Getting tired, they released Ged from the board and buckles. "Now clean this shit up. This will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ged licked and ate the floor clean. The team thought that they were punishing Ged for his words. What they didn't know was that Ged had been a shit eater for years. They fulfilled a great fantasy of his. He knew that he would never keep his mouth shut. His only question was, who would he tell to "eat shit" next
Abby was 11 when she first truly discovered the potential of her clit. Sure, she had examined herself a bit before then, but up until now had generally been uninterested in her 'front bottom' as her mother coyly referred to it. She'd heard her older sister & her friends talking about their 'buttons' &, being a smart girl, had figured out that this was something that could be used to bring 'funny feelings'. Abby had wasted no time that summer's afternoon in the cool, dark attic in finding and playing with her button, giving herself wave after wave of orgasm. Although she sometimes played with herself in the bathroom ('Abby - why are you taking so long' - her mother would shout) and in bed, it was in the attic, with the sunbeams shining through the ventilation bricks, illuminating the dancing dust motes that she always associated with her best sexual experiences.
Abby was now the grand old age of 12 and this particular afternoon, with her sister out, dad at work and mum busy in the kitchen that she decided it was time to 'visit the attic' - even thinking of it made her bowels feel loose.
When she was thinking or even just bored, Abby had this habit, that she knew was wrong, of touching her bottom. If she had been adult enough to know she would have heard shrinks call it 'anal retention'. She would reach down the waist band of her jeans or shorts (she rarely wore skirts) and push the material of her knickers into her arse and poke with her fingers. This invariably left heavy skid marks on her knickers and her poor mother, who did the washing, was always upset by this, but never complained to Abby for fear of giving her a psychosis about it. Abby was upset about her knickers being stained too - she looked at them kind of guiltily every time she removed them and put them in the laundry bin. Recently she had avoided the soiling by instead of poking the knicker material into her arse, just used her finger. The feeling was comforting, like thumb sucking. The only downside was a smelly finger. Abby sniffed her finger with interest after such an exploration. The smell was not unpleasant, a sort of meaty, carnal smell. Occasionally she would get shit under her fingernails and smeared on her finger, but generally she was clean. She liked the jelly that sometimes came out too. The first few times she did this she would diligently wash her fingers, but after a while she gave up bothering -- no-one seemed to mind or notice, though she had once got caught when she offered an apple to someone and they had smelled her finger. Luckily they had not connected the strange smell to her -- but she had been more careful since then.
Abby recognised this loose bowel feeling associated with excitement. To her delight, a girl, much more outspoken than her, had even said that she felt like taking a shit when she saw a particular boy at school. Abby felt the shock of recognition at knowing exactly how she felt.
Abby resisted the urge to go to the toilet, often there was nothing coming anyway, and carried on up the ladder to the attic. She lay down on her favourite bit of carpet, ritually pulled her shorts & knickers down to round her ankles and began to play. She liked her knickers and shorts tightly curled round her ankles - it gave her the feeling of being 'held' in place and 'made' to perform this dirty, thrilling act. In her fantasy, as she closed her eyes and felt the herself going up the hill towards her orgasm, she imagined herself being captured and put in a castle tower. An evil man, a prince or something, would force her to strip, tie her down and make her do this for his pleasure. Abby would reluctantly, but pleasurably, follow his orders. Today, for some reason, it was more difficult to cum. The usual fantasy was not enough, she needed to make more of it. She felt the Prince asking her to do more, to be more dirty for him. Reluctantly, she reached a finger into her arse while still continuing to rub her clit. She saw him grin. More, he was asking, More. Abby poked her finger in her arse more rigorously than ever before. With her legs apart she had more access to it than she had ever had before by simply sticking her hand down her knickers.
Her finger encountered shit. She felt the Prince's grin widen. She knew what he wanted. Reluctantly she took fingers of shit from her bottom and smeared them on her thighs. The Prince was ecstatic, he had totally humiliated her. Abby took more of the shit from her bottom and smeared it on her bare, flat tummy. The stench was horrible and yet it was put of her 'punishment'. Eventually the shit was everywhere, smeared on her body, her clothes, the carpet, even her lips and hair. With the most shuddering, soul wrenching climax she had ever had in her brief twelve years, she came again and again. When the magic had faded, Abby came back to Earth with a bump. She was covered in shit, she stank and she was in the attic.
Abby spent the next two hours cleaning up, it was enough to convince her little shit adventure was a one-off, never to be repeated. Yet even when she grew up, had children of her own, she could never return to her parents house and not take a nostalgic trip to that attic.....
I think this guy is actually Les Moonves... where are you Sassy... I need sanity.
Hey hey MK why no posts today?
Why are there no new posts- is this what hell is like?
I see Mouse is trying to ruin the blog again. Fucking stupid psycho.
I have asked this question several times with no response- WHO/WHAT THE FUCK IS MOUSE?!
yo....... losers the blog has moved get with the program LOL.....
www.dlisted.com.... no more haloscan
anoymouse | 10.21.06 - 7:10 pm | #
Thanks Bitch.
Sassy- you ARE out there- what a debacle this has become. Can you answer my "mouse" question or is this some weird, sensitive, "We don't talk about it" shit?
WTF
Mouse is a stupid bitch! She fucking posts on dlisted under 50 different names. She faked a pregnancy and is obsessed with Nick Carter. Anything else you want to know?
Sassy- you ARE out there- what a debacle this has become. Can you answer my "mouse" question or is this some weird, sensitive, "We don't talk about it" shit?
moomoo | 10.21.06 - 7:41 pm | #
I love you and Anon said it all for you. Post on the new site and join the forums.
Love you anon. xoxoxo
Thank you Sassy and Anon!
Thank you Sassy and Anon!
moomoo | 10.21.06 - 11:51 pm | #
Good night hot bitch. I must go to bed but please post on the forum. Talk to you soon love. xoxoxoxo
What is a turd burglar, anyway?
Snoopy's Doghouse
Turd Burglar = Fudge Packer = Butt Pirate = Yet another derogatory name for a gay man. It's almost always used as an insult by an immature person with a limited vocabulary.
All of this is stupid. Michael K. should update the fucking blog if he wants to sell this fucking thing.
All of this is stupid. Michael K. should update the fucking blog if he wants to sell this fucking thing.
Anonymous | 10.22.06 - 3:36 am | #
Go to www.Dlisted.com. It's moved.
*It not It's
link doesnt work to the new site
She has an amazing biography which I highly recommend.
Turd Burglar = Fudge Packer = Butt Pirate = Yet another derogatory name for a gay man. It's almost always used as an insult by an immature person with a limited vocabulary.
Whisper | 10.22.06 - 1:00 am | #
..and with that, we know what "whisper' is, an anus whipserer. boo-hoo, calling a spade a spade, the horror.
Both. Traci Lords is hotter than anything Hollywood is throwing out there. And we know she's a tiger in the bedroom.
I'll go with the stetched out old whore since I like it loose and sloppy.
mmmmmmmmmm how about never
Perez Hilton at his best. What a piece of work! You have to see them all!
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she's old now, but still very pretty or maybe too much makeup?
Yea! The old pop-up comment window format is back! *loves it*
I've gotta go with "Then" because who doesn't love the rockin' 80s perm?
THEN.
Wow! I stop in to check the room out, after the better part of a year (or, longer?),and there is still the same old arguing, name-calling, accusing, fussin' and a fightin', venom-spewing, cage-rattling, hissy-fittin', feudin', nay-sayin', scum-bagging, temper-throwing, tantrum-tossing.....shit.... going on. Why did I expect anything, better?
MAN, am I glad to be away from all this crap. Don't know how you guys keep hangin' in there every day.
Howdy to all the old schoolers. See you next year.
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Then
Getting Hotter with time.
Really looking goergeous now as compared to earlier. More looking hot in red dress.
Well! I Love Traci music!!!
she was hottest here...
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Traci Lords looked hot then and she looks hot now. Heck I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
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