I often think about how patriarchy really is responsible for how men became damaged fathers who damage children, and how much work needs to be done. And also how it affects mothers. My mother is manic depressive, for example, so I know that I must really work at correcting any pattern or unlearning how I was raised. It has certainly helped me in every aspect of life; politically, personally, or otherwise, since I've done it most of my life.
I often ask myself if I should keep a relationship with her when it's not necessarily productive and I've gone in and out of that decision for maybe the past 8yrs or so. I sincerely hope for your situation that your Dad is able (or willing) to change. Many fathers seem to become more reflective as they get older for some reason, probably out of guilt. Hopefully one day you can talk to him and resolve some issues since you're an adult and he's therefore more likely to respect your opinion.
I don't think people genuinely realize that our parents are the product of a system that makes good parenting practically impossible unless we are really lucky. It is still entirely acceptable, for example, to treat children as emotional punching bags instead of actual human beings. It's also ok to put them directly in the crossfire of all these issues/drama that have nothing to do with them. It's obvious that kids interpret all kinds of behavior from their parents to somehow be their fault.
You're right that patriarchy is deadly. It affects us all individually and in very specific ways but that doesn't make it any less severe. When you're a kid you're not thinking "Oh patriarchy is responsible for my dad's immaturity and selfishness. Lot's of people probably go through this", you think "Why is my dad like this, have I done something to make him not love me?" I personally think that the problem will be eliminated by having all boys vasectomized when they turn 13 until they are maybe 58 and then reversing it because they will be old, won't want to die alone, and therefore be less selfish parents :-P haha
Your posts are amazing! Keep up the good work!
your description of your dad reminds me of my dad in so many ways - i feel similar towards him too. good luck working towards a better relationship 
Commenting by HaloScan
