I hear you here! I don't understand why this shit goes on. I think it's odd to risk your own life, but I believe we all have the right to that choice. But I just don't understand the social irresponsibility that goes on here. I don't understand how people can risk the lives of their friends, lovers, and community like this.
Just the other day I was participating in another comment threat. Some random guy bitched me out for advocating same sex. All I said was "Pregnancy is only one risk of unsafe sex, and a relatively pleasant one at that. Cover your peckers boys."
All of a sudden this guy was all "I'm so sick of hearing people preach about safe sex, as if they actually use condoms themselves, you know they don't."
I just don't understand that mentality. I would never wish the fear and concern I have for my pos friends on anyone. I would never want to put any family through that terror or stress.
I agree with a lot of what's been said here. Although, I can't help but play devil's advocate.
It's interesting to note the prurience and sensationalism that surrounds the discourse on bug-chasing. Even in lewdandshrewd's post, "licking the pus from a gangrenous wound, or eating the uncooked brain of a rabid dog" are over the top and a bit judgmental, no? I'm pretty sure having unprotected sex with a man who happens to be HIV positive isn't exactly like ingesting rabid dog brains. I would imagine it's a LITTLE more enjoyable. But bug chasing has been dragged through the gutter and achieved a status akin to necrophilia and "2 Girls 1 Cup", and primarily by the gay mainstream.
The severity in which the LGBT community has come down on bug chasing is a little undue, and also mirrors the ways that the hegemonic heterosexual majority has condemned us "butt pirates" and "muff divers". And it's a bit strange that the LGBT community seems to have this wellspring of love and compassion for those amongst the community that contracted HIV unintentionally, but then have such disdain for those who choose to take their fate into their own hand and make decisions about their body.
Now, I'm not supporting a wide-spread bug-chasing revolution, but I think that we need to concentrate on more important things like... I don't know... the thousands of unchecked murders of trans people, or the war in Iraq. Bug-chasing is a relatively isolated and small minority in an already isolated and small minority. There are thousands of people dieing everyday in an unjust war (redundant?) propagated by our country. And what do we gays get all huffy over? People making choices about their own health status.
live and let live is what i say.
I also wanted to clarify a bit. I'm not objecting to having moral issues with bug-chasing. I just think its interesting how much of the bug-chaser stuff has been an attempt at dealing with this in-house and fixing our community to avoid the attention of the heterosexual majority and opening ourselves up to another avenue of attack. Which... sounds a lot like making our community palpable to straight people in order to be legitimized.
And we all know how I feel about Unqueering Queers in exchange for legal benefits. *cough* gay marriage *cough*
I admit my similes were a bit extreme, but my point remains: bug-chasing is, by definition, a self-imposed death sentence. Of course, there have been advances in HIV treatment and care, but it remains universally terminal. My moral qualms aren't so much with bug-chasing insofar as it's an individual choice... everyone is entitled to make their own choices about themselves (even when I think they're stupid). Rather, my issue is with the larger and more widespread ignorance surrounding safe sex and the severity of the AIDS pandemic.
Fannie also mentioned the compassion with which we treat people who unintentionally contracted HIV and the disdain we feel for those that seek it out. Well, another of the points that I was trying to make is this: Guys who ask for anonymous tops to come breed their asses AREN'T contracting HIV unintentionally. I'm not saying we shouldn't still treat them with compassion once they've gotten it, but their behavior is akin to bug-chasing. In some respects, I think it's even worse than bug-chasing: at least bug-chasers are explicit about what they're doing... the people who play games of Russian Roulette with other people's lives are the ones that piss me off.
OK, I know it will be hard to take anything serious from someone calling themselves Pippy Longsausage, but that is my online persona and I have a couple remotely serious points to make, so I guess you will just have to deal with it.
As a preface from someone living with HIV for over 12 years now, I highly recommend that everyone avoid it if at all possible. It really does suck in a big way, and as much progess as we are making as a society in becoming more tolerant, there is still a lot of stigma attached to this disease. I have also had an opportunity to counsel many newly diagnosed HIV-positive gay men, so have a little extra insight into how it affects a persons physical and mental well-being.
My first point is that HIV is *not* "universally terminal" as noted in the post above. It certainly can be if untreated, but it is not the death sentence it was prior to the triple drug 'cocktails' that came to market in the 1990s. It has become a managable disease much like diabetes, and there is no reason to believe that I, or any other HIV+ person in my situation, would not live to be an old, wrinkled, bitter queen, spending the final days worrying about what might be the final cause of our demise, only to slip in the tub and die from a broken hip.
Second, would you please, PLEASE, not refer to your HIV-negative status as being "clean"? That would imply that I am "unclean", and that is just not very respectful and sounds very old-testament. Think about how you would react to being called 'sodomite' rather than 'gay' and maybe you can understand how an HIV+ person feels when being asked if they are 'clean'. We are HIV-positive or HIV-negative, thank you very much.
Probably the biggest threat out there to those worried about becoming HIV+, are those that claim to be HIV-. I have met several men that "had a feeling" they were positive, but never got tested because they didn't want to be labelled "positive". The thinking goes, "if I don't get tested, I am not 'officially' positive" and don't need to tell people I am. Silly and stupid? Most certainly yes. But it also seems to be part of human nature to avoid a problem rather than dealing with it... at least for some men it appears. It is not the HIV+ men with undetectable viral loads that are infecting other men, it is the HIV+ but untested gay man that tell you they are 'clean' that you want to think twice about.
Let me know if you have any questions. If you want to know how to ask someone's status and get an honest answer, let me know. There are good ways and bad ways to ask the question, and many men, especially those just dealing with disclosure for the first time, can't always be trusted to give an honest answer just because they should.
hey pippy. i have a question, but i couldn't find your email here. could you drop me a quick note at toughstuff@belowthebelt.org?
thanks!
-ts
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