So I think this is a great post. My comment is mostly unrelated to the topic, but aims more at a question about bottom shame/bottom politics (heh, bottom politics):
Do you have any idea, from your sense of the poz community or more generally among different groups of gays, if there is a stigma associated with bottoms (per your final paragraph here) and HIV? My impression is that most people think that bottoms are more likely to get infected than tops, and that because of that there is a whole ethics of safety that is different for tops and bottoms. I've heard guys say that bottoms should effectively manage the burden of being a bottom by forcing all their tops to wear condoms. Or alternatively, that tops don't need to worry about being as safe because word on the street is that transmission is less likely for them. OR, as you might be suggesting here, that bottoms could be these bastions of disease and that you can't trust them (or anyone, I guess) to be safe when they're potentially a very high risk hookup.
About the recognizability of HIV-positive people -- I like this site which challenges any prejudices about what people living with HIV look like:
http://www.posornot.com/ -- "Think you can tell if we have HIV?"
It's not just the gay community that thinks like this. The lesbian community also seems to have a very ignorant view of HIV, and seem to believe that as women having sex with women, they will never get infected. They couldn't be more wrong, and it annoys me that most of these women never get tested or use protection. Even if HIV is less likely to spread via WtW contact, vaginal sex has a fairly high susceptibility to HIV, and any sort of fluid exchange 'down there' makes you at risk. People don't seem to understand that.
I think unless there is another huge breakout, or medicines stop working, there will always be a sort of dissociation about this disease. I find people to be selfish most of the time; only caring about issues like this only if it directly affects them. Too bad by then it's too late to do anything when it comes to HIV.
The medicine available today is still not a miracle drug. It is very likely we'll never see a cure in our lifetime. It's just a pity that most people, both in the LGBT and the hetero community, seem to forget that it's still an epidemic, and that feeling sorry for those surviving with this disease isn't enough - they must actively fight against it and be smart in order to keep future generations from dying in the millions. Everyone should make the choice to protect themselves and the people around them.
I just went to an event last night in NYC where some founding members of stonewall spoke about "what things were like" back then, and how the gay rights' movement didn't gain any speed until HIV broke out and people were dying. Hearing their stories was so moving, and I looked at the audience and there were literally only like 4 people out of 30+ that were in their 20s. The generational gap has really screwed everything up as far as organization, activism, and education. Sometimes I'm sort of numb thinking about it, and feeling like I'm not sure what to do about gays my age.
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