Brilliant blog! I have seen one that was similar but totally irreverent and obviously NOT by a Catholic. This is a wholly different matter and I'll be back often.
Julie,
Thank you for your very kind words; may God bless you
In nomine Patris, et Filii, + et Spiritus Sancti.
Dear Holy Father,
It's a pity you're stuck with a whole case of Budweiser - perhaps you'll be receiving a delegation of American bishops soon, and you can fob it off on them? Maybe you'd enjoy a nice Canadian beer instead. Our Canadian beer has a higher alcohol content than that insipid American beer; I'm sure that's not something that particularly concerns you, though I've heard that some of those German beers can really knock your socks off. Anyway, if you ever come out to Ontario, you should take a tour of some of our micro-breweries, and get a nice supply of Upper Canada Rebellion to take back to the Vatican.
Holy Father: I believe Fr. Bryce Sibley once noted on his blog that if you ever offer Our Lord, the King of Kings, the "King of Beer," it will probably get you extra time in Purgatory.
I would also stay away from any beverages offered to you by the Maryknoll nuns. It is liable to be organic dandelion wine with bits of alfafa sprout floating in it or something of that sort.
Stick to Riesling and good German Weiss beer on your vacation and may God bless!
Holy Father,
Indeed, you are right to warn us of this Budweiser, for these are subtle seductions not easily detected by a man who has already had a few...
In all seriousness, though, Father, I think you should sent your greetings and blessings to the Trappist monks of Chimay, Orval, Rochefort, Westmalle, Westvleteren and Achel and request that they each send you a case of their monestary-brewed ale. There is no finer thing in all the world.
http://www.chimay.com/www/chimay/site8/en/
a_abbaye/a0_frameset.htm
Holy Father,
As a Bavarian, you should know once the matter is changed (e.g. using brewing adjuncts such as rice or corn), you no longer have a valid beer. This has been the case since the issue was decreed by Duke Wilhelm IV of Bavaria in the Reinheitsgebot of 1516.
Holy Father, this is a slippery slope.
We humbly implore you to dump the Budweiser down the drain (no need to use the one in the sacristy or anything) and stop this subtle but pernicious relativistic infiltration immediately.
We know you will do the right thing. Thank you and God bless you!
Donna,
Fr. Bryce Sibley is a wise man and his words were spot on. I miss his musings and have a profound appreciation for his Mary, Exterminatrix of Heresies masterpiece.
Thank you for your advice regarding accepting beverages from our Maryknoll sisters, but there is no need to worry about that, child. Don’t tell anybody, because we wouldn’t want to compromise security, but the Swiss Guard inspects all suspicious packages; anything received from the Maryknolls, Adrian Dominicans, IHMs, or Bishop Gumbleton is inspected and often times destroyed.
Thank you for stopping by and God bless you.
Papa
DarwinCatholic,
Thank you for stopping by. Recently, I read that what the Americans call Budweiser is not bad on a very hot day, as long as it is served very cold. I cannot vouch for that, however.
The Trappist monks do indeed excel in their crafts. I have had the opportunity to enjoy Chimay, but I paid for it. Just to acquire Chimay is to be privileged. I could not in good conscience accept such a gift, knowing that the good monks rely on the sale of their products to support themselves.
God bless you,
Papa
The Church Online,
[Please note: this is a reply to a commentator by the above name – the following words are not an ex cathedra pronouncement to The Church Online.]
Thank you for your wise counsel. Never fear though. I have already re-gifted it. I sent it up north to someone who I haven’t always seen eye to eye with, I don’t like mentioning any names, but it was sent to Cardinal Carlo Martini SJ. I figured being the Jesuit that he is, ol’ Martini would probably enjoy consuming a heterodox concoction that has the outward appearance of orthodoxy.
God bless you,
Papa
Bryce?! Fr. Sibley?
Is that you?
While Budweiser may not be the most exalted of beers, surely there is room in our large church for beers of many talents.
This St. Louis Catholic is saddened to read that her Papa is lumping Budweiser in with relativism and ruin.
Jen,
Thank you for writing, dear child. We all fall short of the Glory of God, and that goes for beer too. Our Lord said that He came to save the sinners, and from that we understand that the Church is made up of sinners, and indeed all are welcome in the Church. The Redemption was for all, but not all will take advantage of it. Not all who do take advantage of our Redemption will merit the same glory in Heaven.
Likewise, not all beers will merit the same glory on our palates, but that does not mean that all beers should taste the same. Furthermore, people derive their dignity from God, and not by their proximity to any given brewery. The good people of St. Louis should not take any offense from my humble musing, anymore than they should hold the good people of Milwaukee responsible for Milwaukee’s Best. Personally, I love the good people of St. Louis and I even have a very dear friend there, I hate namedropping, but his name is Archbishop Raymond Burke.
In fact, I’ve been thinking about him lately. There is some insignificant blogger who writes me no less than three e-mails a week begging me to accept Cardinal Maida’s resignation and move Archbishop Burke to Detroit. I don’t know who he thinks he is, or why he thinks I would consider his suggestions, but he is really trying my patience. The Vatican IT Department (we affectionately call them the holy-geeks) even developed a special spam filter to weed out his e-mails, but the persistent bugger still finds a way to get through.
Anyway, thanks again for writing and may God bless you and the good people of St. Louis.
Papa
Papa,
If indeed you can't stand the "Budweiser" you were given, give it to your gardener, and have him open the cans/bottles and then after they have been left open over night take them and pour them into your plants or garden. Great stuff for the plants. :o) Really.
Lucy,
As I stated above; I already regifted that swill to Cardinal Martini SJ.
Is it proper netiquette for a pontiff to say 'Mwahahaha'? If so, insert it above. 
Thank you and God bless.
Papa
It's pretty evident that you need to enjoy a real beer of the Milwaukee variety. Try Miller Genuine Draft next time and you won't get that nasty headache as you would from an inferior brew.
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