Most Holy Father,
I have to agree with your wise brother on this one, and I think His Eminence was perhaps not cautious enough when asking you to delay the publication of "D.F.".
Are cats not worshipped in many false religions, and (worse) assigned by ancient tradition roles with demons, witches and warlocks? Does not the one-sided love of cats by their human slaves detract from the love of God and of one's fellow men? Did Our Blessed Lord ever own a cat, or indeed a pet of any kind? Does Scripture indeed endorse any other use for animals beyond food or transport?
I do not presume to correct you here, Most Holy Father. I am sure you'll be expounding Catholic teachings on these points in depth. But the retention of pets is presumably not covered by your ex cathedra infallibility, and I am sensitive enough on this topic to hope for a Papal clarification of it... The many poor benighted cat-slaves out there deserve no less.
Besides, a close Traditionalist friend is also a cat-slave, and I fear the consequences should he feel himself vindicated here having earlier ignored my own sage advice on the subject... He's otherwise going to be again quite insufferable to be around. I say again because his earlier stated wishes for the new Pontiff after the death of your Predecessor (of happy memory) were both met in your person...
Brilliant beginning!
I don't see a problem with the fact that cats were worshipped by pagans, because:
a) cats were created by God in the first place - this encyclical can address the problem of felinolatry (????); and
b) everyone knows cats are God's special servants:
http://people.zeelandnet.nl/henk...ensen/
smart.htm
By the way, aren't encyclicals usually named for the first words in the Latin original ...
Hi, Holy Father,
While I'd admit shepherding the church is like herding cats, I think an encyclical on cats isn't a high priority...
Right now the church needs specific, clear guidance on pro-abortion politicians, priesthood problems (homosexuality, women, etc.), liturgy problems, education problems...you get the idea.
So as a writer myself, I'd say since you have the cat encyclical in your head go ahead and write it, but don't release it until you get more pressing issues out the door first. Get that ol' shepherds crook pen of yours out and start writing something we can sink our fangs into. Trust me, you address any of the main things and you'll get more cat-herding than you bargained for.
Luv ya,
--Ann
Holy Father,
Cat pee smells really bad, and is almost impossible to remove - just ask my wife who had her wedding dress ruined by our cat peeing on it (after the wedding, thankfully).
In addition, cat feces has been known to lead to birth defects in children whose mothers were around cats during their pregnancies.
Finally, litter boxes are really quite disgusting.
Holy Father, can you offer any advice on the following?
(1) Removal of stink and stains from cat pee.
(2) Do so-called "self-cleaning" litter boxes really work?
(3) Did God really intend for cats to be domesticated?
Oh hey, forgot to ask...you taking a lap top with you during your World Youth Day trip. We'd like to hear your thoughts on what goes on there.
--Ann
Most Holy Father,
I am not fond of cats, since all of the cats whom I have met have been very snooty and acted like they were 'Lord and Master' of the domanin. Perhaps German cats are better than the ones here in America.
I would like to see an encyclical on the DOG and all of the theological significance behind DOG being GOD backwards. That would be a little more heady and refreshing.
Also, how might I obtain an audience with your holiness? I was going to go to WYD, but then a certain person copped out on me and I could no longer afford it. All of my friends are in Germany right now and I am here in America, all alone (boo-hoo!). I do not envy the jet-lag and sleeping on the ground. I just would have liked to see you in your own country. Could you make a papal declaration that these friends must brng me back some pretty neat things from GErmany? I really do not want snow-globes and sick bags from the plane...
Brittany
Lieber Holy Father,
Ich auch möchte encyclical auf Hunden sehen. Das Verhältnis zwischen Hund und Mann stellt eine interessante Allegorie des Verhältnisses des Mannes zum Gott dar. Katzen scheinen, die des Atheisten in ihrer Unabhängigkeit vom Meister zu entsprechen.
Segen,
Herr Felderhoff
Papa,
Glad to see that you were able to blog again. I like the idea of a blog about cats, though I am not what you would call a cat person. My devoded husband is horribly allergic to cats, so if I were to get a cat he would begin to worry about how devoted I was to him. I believe my priority must be to him, wouldn't you agree?
much love,
your daughter
Best Musing Ever! I look forward to the issuance of this and all your other encyclicals.
Here is a free translation of the german post:
Rather Holy Father
I also encyclical would like to see on dogs. The ratio between dog and man represents an interesting allegory of the ratio of the man to the God. Cats seem to to correspond that of the atheist in its independence of the master.
Blessing, Mr. Felderhoff
In defense of poor mr. felderhoff,
Altavista's bablefish renders:
Dear Holy Father, I would like to also see encyclical on dogs. The relationship between dog and man represents an interesting Allegorie of the relationship of the man to the God. Cats seem to correspond the Atheisten in their independence from the master to.
Benediction, Mr. Felderhoff
Since Papa seems to be away at the moment, let me help both Steve and him so Dignitatis Felidae works as the first two words:
The splendor of creation shines forth in all the works of the Creator and, in a special way, in the dignity of cats, created for man to give him companionship and affection.
Now it works better, but I agree, even the intro needs more tweaking ...
Have you been ill, or distraught about your brother Georg(e)? I can't believe a pope would ever forget that part, even in the first draft. You shouldn't worry about your big brother so much. You have a lot of work to do at WYD.
One more thing, one might not think it wouldn't work in English, but the amendment probably works in Latin.
It's getting late. Before Nihil gets me, it should be "One more thing, one might think it wouldn't work in English, but the amendment probably works in Latin."
I believe this pontificate will be all about the Holy Father and his love for his cat.
Jack,
I appreciate your input, but your concerns are unfounded. Please be careful not to fall into the same trap that the iconoclasts fell into. That pagans worshipped graven images and God forbid the practice, doesn’t mean that Catholics cannot discern the difference between venerating an image and worshipping the Almighty God. Likewise, as Catholics, we bring glory to God by honoring His creation...especially cats.
God bless you.
Papa
Steve,
Thank you for your appropriate apology. Regarding the naming of encyclicals, traditionally the title is taken from the key words of the first sentence, which is why some of them have a somewhat less than descriptive title. For example, how could anyone possibly know, based on the title, that Quamquam Pluries had anything whatsoever to do with devotion to St. Joseph? I simply didn’t want my masterpiece to be entitled Creaturae Splendor, because the subject is more specific than the whole of creation.
God bless you.
Papa
Ann,
Thank you, for your advice. One of my good friends, Cardinal Ruini (not to be a namedropper or anything), said virtually the exact same thing. So consider yourself in good company, even though I consider the appalling disrespect of cats a serious crisis in the world.
And...Yes, Father Norbert is setting me up with a laptop to bring to WYD. I don’t know if I will have much time to muse or not, but I will have the means to do so.
God bless you.
Papa
Jay,
Nice to hear from you. I’m sorry about your wife’s wedding gown. That is terribly unfortunate. Might I suggest that instead of blaming God’s innocent little creatures for your woes you consider whether you are culpable in any way? After all, we are the creatures gifted with reason, no?
To answer your specific questions.
(1) Removal of stink and stains from cat pee. A. Try vinegar.
(2) Do so-called "self-cleaning" litter boxes really work? A. Yeah, right. They are about as effective as a “faith community’s” “communal penance service" is at cleaning the rot from your soul.
(3) Did God really intend for cats to be domesticated? A. Yes, just like He intended wedding gowns to be stored in safe places.
God bless you.
Papa
Brittany,
Thank you for writing again. I figured that I would catch a lot of grief from you dog people. Please be careful with your criticism of cats and over zealous advocacy of dogs, or you might find yourself Hans Kung’s doghouse. 
I am sorry you won’t be attending WYD. Please don’t despair about receiving a snow-globe as a souvenir; everybody knows that the official German souvenir is the stein.
God bless you.
Papa
Herr Felderhoff,
Danke für Schreiben. Ich sprach den Punkt über Hunde oben an. Obwohl ich sicher bin, schätzen viele das atheistische winkeln betreffend die Natur der Katzen. Übrigens nicht ist googleübersetzung groß?
But please, for the benefit of our many American readers, let’s keep our correspondence in English.
Thanks again and God bless you.
Papa
Maggie,
I hope you and your family are doing well. Yes, child, you are wise beyond your years. Many blessings to you and your poor, allergic husband who will never be able to appreciate the joy of having a sleeping kitty on his lap.
God bless you.
Papa
Boethius,
Thank you for your complement. I am just sorry you will have to wait to read the whole thing.
God bless you.
Papa
Brittany,
Thank you so much for your free translation. Usually I have to pay to find out what something says in German.
I know where your heart was, child. Thank you and God bless you.
Papa
Lawrence,
Thank you for providing yet another free translation. I am very grateful.
God bless you.
Papa
Chris,
Thank you for your suggestion. I addressed my reasoning above, however I like your clever amendment. I agree that something would need tweaking. My problem with the composition of the opening line is that I really want the words, “the splendor of creation.” A dear and saintly friend of mine used similar words in an encyclical, and I thought they had an excellent ring to them. This is no conventional encyclical, so there is no necessity in following the naming conventions. Besides, I know that some people (at least one particular doofus in Detroit anyway) had never drawn the connection between the title and the first sentence. Go figure.
George is doing well, and up until he issued his unwarranted criticism, things were rosy between us. He’ll apologize while giving me an affectionate little noogie and all will be fine.
Thank you again and God bless.
Papa
Inquisitorgeneralis,
Fear not, son. This pontificate will have a lot of depth. Yes, it may be so deep as to address the dignity of the cat, but it will certainly not be limited to that. One thing I would like to do is improve the liturgy, but that does not mean I will promulgate a Felidae Missae. Heaven forbid!
Thank you for writing and God bless you.
Papa
Übrigens kann ich nur kleine Beträge von Latein übersetzen. Ich habe die deutsche Übersetzung ab von Ein von den freien Stellen erhalten. Die imporper Grammatik war so lustig ich habe entschieden, es für das Willen von Vergnügen zu verlassen.
Dearest Papa,
Forget about dogs. The Dominicans are called 'Domini Canis', so I think that the dignity of dogs has been pretty adequately acknowledged by the Church. Cats, now, do not yet have an order named after them, so they need a little official boosting. I think you might consider that cat appreciation is a useful tool for ecumenical outreach. After all, every culture has appreciated cats. The Chinese used to hang rings on the tips of their tails, and we know that the ancient Egyptians were crazy about them. I've even read that Mohammed liked cats - there's a story that once a cat fell asleep beside him, and he wanted to get up, but he couldn't bear to wake up the cat, so he cut off the end of his robe so the cat could sleep on undisturbed. Cats may be the key to peace and understanding among different faiths!
Dearest Papa,
I don’t like cats. I was wondering why you do. Could you be so kind as to explain why you prefer cats? Would you explain in detail? Perhaps it could help the cat-haters of the world change their attitudes toward them and then they would think twice about flippantly killing one.
Papa,
I suspect the so-called doofus from Detroit still isn't clear about how conventional papal documents are titled. It's typically the first 2 or 3 words of the document in Latin.
Quamquam Pluries was named that because it was the first two words of that document (in Latin). It doesn't work that well in translating into English, though, because we've got comparatively weird syntax. In English usually just ends up being somewhere in the first sentence. But I know you know this.
I don't know the guy you call the doofus from Detroit, but you seem to. Will you clear him up about it, just to make sure?
How do I know this? Either because Fr. John Hardon, SJ told me while he was still alive, or I learned it while getting my theology degree from a school affiliated with Ave Maria. I forget which. In other words, I didn't learn it from my parish CCD. Why do you call that guy a doofus? That's not very dignified and he is human. He got crappy formation while growing up like everyone else his age here in America. Please cut him some slack.
Wanda,
Thank you for your profound insight (as usual). I certainly cannot see how people can respect one another’s dignity if they don’t respect the dignity of the cat.
God bless you.
Papa
Jane,
I like cats because they are the grandest of all the lesser creatures and I enjoy watching the way they interact with the world. It is pure innocence.
Oh... and because they’re soft and cuddly too.
God bless you.
Papa
Chris,
Thank you for writing. Please remember, whenever you choose to not be a namedropper that you use the < b > < /b > tags around the name of the person you are not going to name. It helps the reader figure out whose name you are not revealing. For example, you should have written: How do I know this? Either because Fr. John Hardon, SJ told me while he was still alive.
Please don’t worry about the guy in Detroit, he’ll figure it sooner or later. I really am not being uncharitable to that fellow, but in the future I will refer to him as that simple person in Detroit. Then there won’t be any doubt about Papa’s charity.
Thanks again and God bless.
Papa
Holy German Shepherd,
All cats are different. Take my cat ... PLEASE!
There's a reason they call it dogma and not catma. Please listen to your brother on this one.
-RTT-
RTT,
Good one!! I'm ROTFIMOPL (Rolling on the floor in my own poop laughing).
Gotta go ... Timmy's yelling again ... someday we're gonna fill in that well.
TTFN,
Most Holy Father,
What are the names of your cats and what kind of cats are they?
RTT,
You're still a pup at heart, I see. Thanks for barking.
Papa
Brittany,
My cat is a domestic shorthair and his name is Chico. He is my one true pet, but until I moved I was always picking up strays and keeping them until I could find them a worthy home.
God bless you.
Papa
Holy Father:
I think what you're saying is that, while dogs offer us a model of the loyalty and devotion man should have for God, He gives man cats as well, to remind us that we can love God's mystery and rejoice in it, even though it's something we can neither control nor understand. I'm sure this is covered in the text of your encyclical, which I look forward to reading in full.
P.S. I dropped you a line to encourage you in re the new ICEL translation. I don't like to name names, but that Bishop Donald Trautman seems bent on sucking all of the beauty, mystery, and dignity out of the new translation. I bet he's ailurophobic.
Romulus,
Thank you for your comments; you have a profound understanding of the order that is creation.
You mentioned ICEL in your post, which is fine by me, but I did want to caution you on something. Don’t ever mention ICEL to my friend Cardinal Arinze. The mere mention of the “I” word is likely to make Francis (sometimes I just call him Franky) come unglued and sin against charity. Mind you, child; I am not implying any sort of character fault on the part of my good friend Cardinal Arinze, but if you could only have seen some of the worthless and dangerous garbage that they (the "I" word) have tried to sneak through under the guise of “accurate translations”, you would understand why Franky gets his back up so.
Also, I am pleased to see that you are not a namedropper, let us pray that if we cannot eliminate episcopal conferences altogether that we can at least rid them of cat haters.
God bless you.
Papa
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