First again?
Whoop whoop!!
Second!
It sometimes seems to me that I am the only person on the planet that knows the difference between principle and principal.
But at the end of the day, does it really matter?
Pieboy: Woohoo, woohoo! for Firsty Goodness!
Nigle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
YES Nigle, it bloody well does!!!!
Good grammer, spelling and generally being able to use the English language correctly is the last thing we have to differentiate us from the vast sewer of n'er-do-wells and chavs (sic) who are subsuming culture.
One of my biggest bugbears is the use of 'across' as a verb - "I'm across this/that" meaning I'm aware of it and am monitoring what is going on. Typically used on by roving reporters on low-rent news programmes (Radio 1 - Newsbeat for instance).
Oh and the next time I hear someone using the term 'should of' I anticipate there will be a brief scuffle ending with me removing their tongue and beating them to death with the licky end shouting "should have, should have, should have you SHOULD HAVE learned your grammer you f*cktard!"
I am not mad!
Pieboy, it is grammar, not grammer!
Or was that deliberate, to flush out the pedants?
He means well/his heart's in the right place:- phrases used by my mother when I've just had a rant about some sychophantic loon trying to nose into my buisness on the pretext of neighbourly concern.
I'm sorry for your loss:- it doesn't matter if this is being said on TV or to my face, it's trite bollocks.
Irregardless:- it's a double negative, bad grammar and should never be used except on pain of pain (which I'll happily provide).
awesome - aagggggghhhhh - stop using it, or if you have use the bloody word in the right context. We now have over 1 million word in the english language, try and find another one please, please !!
next - "it was like" what the fuck is that about !
next - bloody stupid text language.
Nigle, no it was a genuine spelling mistake! Well spotted.
Just like my English reports from school - 7/10 must try harder!
"You know what I mean"
I work with a Twat colleague who says this in nearly every conversation.
"So I turned to him and said 'you can't turn around and say that to me' and he turned around and....." - all these poor people spinning around in public.
Also 'I'm not racist/homophobic/a misogynist - some of my best friends are...'
'this country's going to hell in a hand cart!'
'it's the thin end of the wedge'
and pretty much anything on the front page of the Daily Heil (it's either the fault of the 'Gay mafia' or the 'female Taliban')
Them ones.
Should of. Would of. Could of.
Don't even get me started, because now it's bedtime and I'll be kept awake due to lapses in English as she is spoke.
Night all.
My "Eats Shoots and Leaves" death list:
Incorrect use of apostrophe in "'its".
Incorrect use of apostrophes in general.
"should of" instead of "should have".
Confusion of to/too (and two).
Confusion of their/there/they're.
Confusion of you're/your.
Confusion of here/hear.
Use of "alot" instead of "a lot".
Confusion of insure/ensure and principle/principal.
...and many others like this (and frequently and inexcusabley coming from people earning £100k+ - if you're smart enough to earn that sort of money you should be smart enough to learn to fucking spell)
TXTSPK
all lower case
ALL UPPER CASE
[It's probably worth mentioning at this point that I lust after Lynne Truss and want to have her babies.]
But recently [and I digress somewhat] none of these cause me quite as much distress as someone in a call centre who I've never spoken to before and hopefully never will again asking me if I'm having a good day. Like they fucking care!
Thanks for the opportunity Misty. It was good to finish the week with a rant.
"When you've got time", translated: "do this, now!"
Southern persons who make none commital noises when you talk to them... Doth they mean "can't understand you northern person?" or "I agree, but have no further comment to add".
So I end up repeating myself (maybe unnecessarily), or constantly revising what I'm saying into simple words in the hope I can communicate.
"I was just going to phone you".
Strange how that's happened 97.3 times in a row then...
And as if to prove the point, some dweeb from AA Insurance Services (I wouldn't have thought even recovering alcoholics were an attractive proposition to insure but there you go) just phoned to sell me home insurance and began by asking how I was doing.
"Going forward". A cliche I really, really hate. Makes you want to throttle the wanker that said it with their oh-so-expensive pure silk tie...
Mrs F starts every other sentence with "Actually...." AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!
Also, Misty, what about those people who say "You look hot." Eh?
JJ stole my list.
So it was YOU that spelt 'inexcusabley' wrong Quentin?
So it was YOU that spelt 'inexcusabley' wrong Quentin?
Bugger! I didn't spot that one!
I think we should start a group to promote better standards, how about calling it the Campaign for Real Apostrophisation and Punctuation?
like, well, you know
Nigle: Neither did I until rereading it a day later.
Can I add:
Use of '...ize' instead of '...ise'. (Two nations divided by a common language etc...)
"One on one" instead of "one to one".
Using four or more dots in an ellipsis ('....' instead of '...').
Ending a sentence with the full stop inside brackets (unless of course the entire sentence is parenthesised).
[When your father was a broadcaster, writer and journalist and your mum taught remedial reading (as it was known before dyslexia etc. were recognised) you were doomed to become a spelling, punctuation and grammar nazi.]
Cix already has the CAmpaign for Real Pedantry of course.
"At this point in time"
As opposed to what? This point in custard?
Also, people who confuse "non-commital" and "none commital".
Buzzword bingo.
Specifically the words "moving forward"
What irks me is when people go "Oooh, get you Professor La De Da!" whenever I speak properly. Invariably I wasn't even using obscure or arcane language, but something simple, for example when buying a drink saying "May I have..." instead of "Can I have...".
FFFS!!!
At least you didn't say "Can I get..." which also deserves to be high on my list of annoying errors.
But we're really just picking the low hanging fruit*.
*I wonder if they use that expression in San Francisco?
Damn! There was a close-coat tag on the blank line but Hell-o-scan isn't showing it. Teach me publish without previewing.
At the end of the day, it's just an expression.
Come to think of it, it starts out the day as an expression as well. So I guess that means it's consistent.
Commenting by HaloScan
