A dear friend of mine had a still born baby. We donated books to a local library in their name as a shower gift (we knew early on the baby would not live) and then donated to the local infant bereavement program when the baby was born. Every year on his birthday I continue to do this. Many hospitals have a primie program (blankets, hats, etc specially for kids in the NICU). Such a donation might be appropriate.
I know the mom has mentioned that she appreciates that we don't act like the child never existed.
Email me if you want to talk more about it.
My brother and his wife lost a baby a few days after he was born. My mom makes a donation in his name to a charity every year at Christmas, which my sister-in-law seems to really appreciate, although it makes her cry. Like hypatia said, I think they like that the baby is remembered and not treated as though he never existed.
That doesn't really address your question, but it's what I know about the subject.
This is so sad. Schwann's products are quite good all in all.
What lovely ideas for a terrible situation. The food is reasonable, it is likely that the older kids would like it. The donation is also great. I can't decide which would be best-are they likely to have lots of local help?
I would support the idea of a donation in the baby's name. When you lose a baby who is very real to you but who has not been born, it's immensely helpful to have other people acknowledge the reality of the baby, particular by using his or her name. No one else did that for me, but over the years, I've made various donations in his memory, and it helped me believe in my own loss when other people did not want me to do so.
My Schwan's experiences are mixed, by the way. The ice cream: good. The other food: eh.
I think either idea would be immensely appreciated. I think in a situation like this, it's good to know that other people understand how much you're hurting. I think either idea would be a wonderful sign of support.
Depending on how much time they will be spending shuttling to the NICU, gift cards to the restaurants by the hospital might be a very useful thing (instead of the frozen food delivery).
The donation in baby's name is a wonderfully thoughtful idea. You don't have to wait too long for that, either. Four-six weeks would be a good time.
Finally, not to hoot our own horn, but if they are looking for support, maybe pointing them to glowinthewoods.com would be a good thing. We also have a thread on there on supporting your bereaved friends (it's perma-nailed in the sidebar).
I so hate that there are new families experiencing this horror every day.
My cousin went through this. They requested donations in his name to the NICU unit at the hospital.
If you're looking for food, try Home Bistro (they're online.) I ordered the soup sampler for my Mom and she loved it.
No matter what you do, they will appreciate that you want to ease their grief.
Ditto Julia about the restaurant gift certificates. Also maybe a letter or a card that is from the heart? You may not be close now, but you are literally likely the only person in their world who will ever be nice to them about this.
All of their other friends will probably abandon them, unfortunately. So make a donation in their name, but it doesn't have to be to the NICU. It could be to the MISS foundation, or to another related charity, like Now I lay me down to sleep?
Oooo, and if you want someone in that city to deliver something to them directly, ask Mel at Stirrup Queens if she knows someone in the city who would help. You never know...
Will definitely make donations as soon as I find out the baby's name. I'll have to think about the food- they earn literally five times what we do, so I don't want to send something they wouldn't want. Also definitely a card.
Fortunately (?) for them, they both work in an OB department, but I'm not sure if that'll make their support better or worse...
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