Thank you. I thought I was the only one on that planet that is not on Facebook and thinks that Costco is hell. Now I know I'm just the only one not on Facebook.
Silly Rabbit - homos in the know realize you have to do the following to win Escape from Costco Island. The partner and I escaped after only 15 minutes and having spent $67 dollars yesterday:
- Go when they open. Don't go when people bring van loads of their offspring to feed and graze at the "feeding stations" It's always the "fertile ones" who go at 1pm on a Saturday.
- Go on Sunday when they open. They open at 10am but can't sell liquor until 11am. Breakfast wine has gotten expensive so I just have to go through the withdrawal.
- Go with a list and don't deviate from it.
- Bring a pair of blinders for the partner. This way he won't be tempted by the tacky Versace china or other bright and shiny objects.
Now, that's not so bad, is it?
Sam's Club is no picnic, either.
Facebook is faboo. It and TiVo are religious experiences.
What is it with your governor's hair, anyway? I can't not look at it. It's alluring. Or felonious.
Lemme know if all those hours spent torturing yourself at the gym pay off in many additional, high-quality years of looking haaawwwwt when it really matters. At age 20.
My version of hell is populated by gym bunnies who hog the squat bar.
OMG, thank you, thank you, thank you for making me laugh till my, um, feminine hygiene product popped out. I really needed this.
PS: I love that econo sized tub o'edamame. I can munch through one of those in a couple of days. I have to. I found out the hard way that after that they turn all slimy and disgusting.
How will I ever get the espresso out of the keyboard of my mac?
Funniest. Post. Ever. about Costco.
Costco on a Saturday? What re you becoming? A suburban housewife?
I laughed aloud. And I needed to.
You'll be cruise ready in no time!
You. are. hysterical.
Toys R Us during the Christmas holidays. and my current living situation.
how are you, jake?
Roasted edamame, sub-zero temperatures, shopping on a Saturday, accidentally injuring yourself at the gym, purposely injuring yourself at the gym, the governor's hair...
Have you been mixing your protein powders with vodka again?
They opened a smaller sized Costco in downtown Vancouver. It is called a "boutique" Costco which is a total oxymoron. It might be smaller but it is still the big box hell hole experience. The worst thing is that Costco is so non-environmental. The food is trucked from all across the continent. The meat comes from factories instead of farms. They also use all that extra packaging to force you to buy larger quantities. Save yourself the headache, shop local/buy local.
I cannot tell you how many times I have done something stupid/painful at the gym and squelch my expletive laced tirade lest I appear insane!
Watch the amount of soy products you and the domestic partner consume. Soy has a phyto component that mimics estrogen and too much is not good for men.
You made me pee again. From now on, I'm wearing those granny diapers whenever I read your posts!
Any sane person would feel your CostCo induced pain. I'm impressed you have so little scarring from the experience.
Seriously you have to get to Costco just when the doors open...grab a cart and run! DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THE LIST. If your partner dawdles over the 55 gallon drums of chardonnay...LEAVE HIM BEHIND! Cosco is hell...but the deals are worth it.
Also I loved your reference to peeing in bed versus crawling to the bathroom...hysterical.
"I came this close to deciding it was easier to pee on myself in bed than to crawl to the bathroom to do it."
TOO. DAMN. FUNNY.
you gymbunnies, you crack me up. more power to you and your potential concussions!
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