LOVE the 'N Sync reference. 
You do have a way with-uh--slightly disgusting--glad I ate lunch 3 hours ago---grrross----weirdly descriptive and also sickeningly entertaining--words.
Congratulations on your lumpotomy!
P.S. You and your domestic partner can go do it for real in California, in 30 days!! Awesome!!!!!
not that i would EVER guess you were a copywriter for an ad agency...hehehe.
(you're great at that whole "tying it all together with the nifty phrase at the end" of your posts. ah...advertising. doncha just love it?)
Where are the pictures?
Usually, you publish pictures of everything on here (well, almost everything) - but not when there's something really worth to be pictured?
Ew! Of course, all I can think of is Grace Adler describing a surgery she saw on the Discovery Channel: "[The tumor] had baby teeth and baby hair, and when they poked it, it said 'Ow!' !"
So...we are about to be inundated here by all the trolls googling The Internets for "Rush Limbaugh's tiny little penis"?
No pictures. No pictures. I'm gagging and laughing at the same time, and let me tell you what a weird sound that produces. I need to see resuscitative* visuals now, like fluffy kittens playing.
*Is that a word? Anyway, you know what I mean.
I'm wondering...IF your doctor had offered you the chance to bring your own choice of music to pop on his boom box for the occasion...wat you might have selected...
Little Anthony and the Imperials singing "Going Out of My Head"?
Sade singing "Smooth Operator"?
the soundtrack to "Five Easy Pieces"?
or perhaps...after the anaesthesia kicks in..."I Don't Care Much" from the Cabaret cast recording...
I don't understand why doctors make you undress and don one of those hideous gowns when they are concerned with a part of your body that isn't covered by clothes anyway. Even if they are concerned about gushing blood, couldn't they offer you a nice smock to put over your clothes like we used to wear during art period in kindergarten?
Anyway, glad you've purged some extra keratin and it turned out ok.
Actually, I had my annual mole patrol while I was there too. So that's why I was 95% naked.
—Jake
If you're like me, Sweetknees, you'll strip at the drop of a surgical gown. I love gettin' nekkid in front of doctors.
And as much as I adore stories of disgusting body effluvia, I'm much more interested in finding out...
what the heck was in those voicemails from the mortgage jerk?
I feel like I've wandered off into another story line on "Lost."
I had a cyst removed from my forehead, and the noises from the removal were the absolute worst part of it. Eeew!
Glad you're less lumpy.
Under no circumstances would I have any interest in either hearing the removal or seeing the resulting lumps of anything excised from my body. We are of two very different minds on this. And mine has yet to be injected with anesthesia.
I understand completely, albeit theoretically, the post-op 'show me' impulse - definitive visual proof that the foreign body (the more repellent the better) is now on the other side of the dermatological barrier that demarcates one's corporal integrity.
I also appreciate the pillowcase strategy. Linens are civilization.
Pilar cysts (aka trichilemmal cysts) are one of my favourite things to see under the microscope!
You should request your pathology slides and look at them.
Note the absence of the granular layer!
http://www.dermatlas.org/derm/
In...geID=1503726407
Basic orientation for those not trained in microscopy who go to dermatlas (above). Normal skin is at the top and right with a layer of keratin on the surface. The cyst is sort of a mirror image, keratin layer on the inside, which results in accumulation of keratin. Those needle like spaces in the dense pink background of keratin are cholesterol clefts, empty spaces left after cholesterol dissolves during processing of the tissue. This type of cyst has no direct relationship with dermoid cysts, typically seen in the ovary, which contain other types of tissue than skin, notably nervous system and eye, cartilage and bone.
Happy to hear your lovely lady lumps are gone and you are doing well.
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