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Oh, Lois. You know you've raised your kids right when they can laugh at you - and you can laugh back.
Oh, and I remember those standard IL tests well...fuckers.
"...my chest wheezes as if I am whistling through my tits..."
I'm laughing WITH you regarding this entire post, but I gotta say, that line is priceless.
Oh yeah. That was a good post! Thanks for sharing your pee pee probs with the world! 
I just hope I escape that side effect of pregnancy whenever that may happen!
Let's see: The title of this post is "Celebrate Good Times."
Which were the good times? The bitching? The coughing? The peeing in pants?
Guess it had to be the A and the Blizzard. Don't know if that's enough recompense for what you're going through, Laney. GL.
Lois love, nothing to regret in this post. Don't know what you are talking about regretting it for on my blog. It made my morning b/c it made me laugh and laughter is a good way to start the day. Bless you dear tinklebell!
The first time I meet you in person I'm going to ask if you'll whistle through your tits for me... 
Excellent post!
Tinklebell, I love it. Congrats to Lane 1.
This has to be the funniest post I have ever read. Thanks Lois!
Lois, that was a hoot. Sorry 'bout your lil issue, but kudos on not strikin' Lane 1 dead on the spot.. hehe. Kid's quick.. did he get that from Mom, perhaps? :O)
Oh my God, that was great. Just the think to brighten up the afternoon. I don't know how anyone could have said Brownie Batter Blizzard with a straight face after all that. Shit, it's hard to say stone sober and all serious like.
Oh, and I think you should pull out embarassing pictures of the kids and show them to boyfriends/girlfriends for their "senisitivity" to Mom's issues. Paybacks are hell, after all.
Love your blog.
I had that cough. Just about killed me. I was miss wizzy also. Hate to be the bearer or bad news but the virus I had lasted for months. One good thing, I blew my hemorrid, no more itching. Talk about information over load!!! Hope you're feeling better soon.
i have that same cough as well, but minus the urination. i just get huge globs of phlegm instead - which looks close enough to a very specific bodily excretion that if you cough and some of it lands on your chin, you best be wiping it away quick before people assume you were busy trying to persuade your boss for that bigger raise....
See, a Bladder Blizzard might sound normal in England and Whales where they stuff sheep's bladders with chopped liver and eat them. I'm totally sympathetic to your prob. My wife deals with this all the time. Sometimes I'm instructed not to make her laugh.there is surgery for this but she'll have none of it.
hee hee. it's great you can tell your kids things like that. too funny.
i remember asking my mom why she had to cross her legs every time she sneezed. i was horrified when she told me why! and now...here i am...
Thank you, Thank you!
Congrats to Lane 1. Your lucky kids have your sense of humor. Hope you feel better soon! Maybe you should see the doctor...for the cough.
Good Luck!
I am SO glad I made a pitstop at the bathroom before reading that.
Lois had a party! A Potty? No, a party! A POTTY! Noooooooo.
You're so funny.
Piss Lane, You know urine luck when your kids can laugh at you misordering a Chocolate Wizzard, and you can laugh too. It takes a speical writer to self humiliate and do it so endearingly. You must have that speical tinkle in your eye. I just had to comment to shower you with golden attention. Pee good to yourself. Danger
Totally hilarious story! I too am a proud member of the MPP club!
I'm a Miss Pissy Pants too Darn that kid and the hysterectomy... Huge Hugs and Depends all around!
Hollie
Well Sweetie, I hope you are feeling better soon. Seems like the pissing oneself thing is going around...
Yeps thats the worst cold in the world just got over it. Not to bring bad news but your gonna have it like another week..LOL Keep a cup in the car to spit in.. I feel for ya chick!
That's hysterical! A Bladder Blizzard who woulda thunk!
Well, I, for one, am not going to make fun of you. Sorry to hear about your awful cold and cough. Hope you get better soon! (Tried any chicken soup? No, really.)
Hey Lois,
I am so sorry you are not feeling well. As always , your spirit is far stronger then the "crisis at hand", and your humor over rides whatever "wrench", the universe throws your way.
Yesterday was an awful experience, and post surgery was excruciating pain,, for hours .
Thank God it quieted after the 5th vicoden, and I slept all night.
I am too hazy and tired to write my "complaint letter" to the" Hoitie Toitie", MIRAGE CENTER, right now, but would sure appreciate your help or editing when i do ,because the pain i had was inexcusable! Even more shocking as the 2 previous extraction he did were pain free and smooth as silk.
O.K. may i say "whistling tits"...i would have fallen out of this chair laughing, if i were not so hung over from yesterday.
Your are amazing!
DO take good care of yourself! Get an ANi-biotic, and some rest!!! tons of H2o, is healing too. Just stay close to a "Powder room"
Love * Peace,
MB
Ohhh Lois, and I thought I was the only one!
THANK YOU !!! :D
So shall we call you Wizzer from now on?
Been there, had a soda, got the T-Shirt and came back home already! Damn I hate those piss inducing cough-attacks!
And with that, I can leave here guilt-free for the Wizzer comment!
Hope ya feel better girl!
LOL....what a funny story to share...hey, I'm 24, never had kids and have the laugh/cough/sneeze tinkle effect . What do you make of that? Get well soon. Getting old sucks. LOL
Sarah
Been there, done that. Although I don't think I've ever whistled through my tits (I'm going to try it on my next date though).
As one whose colds love to settle in my chest, I've found that if I suck on a lifesaver or other hard candy when I feel the coughing coming on, I don't have to change pants as often.
Lois, I had to get up from the computer to "go" before I could even make a comment! Wait til after menopause...funny stuff! My kid is forever making fun of me. Remembering all of the years I would ask her before going anywhere, "did you tinkle? It's going to be a long ride." Now she tells me, "Mom, better go."
*in radio-announcer voice*
Welcome to the TMI network. The only station for TOO MUCH INFORMATION
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Congrats to the boy and may your house now be peaceful.
And get better, will ya?
oh my freaking gosh - I laughed so hard I peed myself. (hey, I have given birth 4 freaking times, my bladder is, well, dead.....)
I can so identify. I have to say, you have smart kids. the drive thru was the perfect compromise. You've probably ruined your daughters chances of ever having a baby. Mommy says that b/c she was pregnant with us, she now pees her pants when she breathes. I dont want to be peeing my pants at any age so no kids for me.
BTW tell Lane#1 that his aunti Kiki is so proud of his A, even though she has no clue what the subject of the test means. constitution? i thought that meant body strength??
sending you some cyber chicken noodle soup with matzah balls.....feel better babe.
I had a whistle tits cough too LOL There should be a club!! you are too funny Lois!
Dianna
LOL! That was funny. If that's not a slice of life I don't know what is. I just posted a partial news item with my commentary on my page. I think you'll enjoy it. The topic is kind of related to yours.
Matzah balls, yum! Hey Lois, I've never had kids but I'm going to succumb to my co-dependence and offer you some unsolicited advice. Have you heard of kegal exercises? You can buy devices that help you strengthen your kegals and, from what I understand, that could help you with your leaking. Hugs!
I'm glad Lane 1's studying paid off. Too bad his teacher stressed him out so bad.
Hope you feel better soon...or get your hands on some Depends.
LOL I loved this one.
thanks for the great laugh.
Lois as always you made me laugh! Feel better though! And..I've had 3..all over 9 pounds..I relate
Lois - careful with those kegel exercises. Every time I do more than 10 i end up having an orgasm or three....
This was the first time I've been to your site and I'm glad I visited, it was a fun post. I would say that I understand completely what you are saying about the coughing and tinkling issue but I can't because I'm in complete denial !!!
Lois, Thanks I needed that laugh.. and to think I just went and bought a box of Pull Ups for my grand daughter.. I hear they are cheaper at the whole sale clubs like BJs, LOL.. sorry couldn't resist. I have the same problems, LOL.. thanks Hun, I really needed that laugh tonight..
Huggz
Your gift for humor is worth enduring a little pee! For me anyway! But I totally understand, hope you kick that cough before you break a fucking rib!
Sista's of the PPC unite! LOL, i am sooooooooo glad i aint alone!! Kids, not only do they damage you externally,mentally and financially....they do it internally too!
As funny as this post is, it's also sad............I'm there right now.
I always blamed it on the after affects of child birth. It became worse after my surgery. I guess that's part of the nerve damage thing. I went to the doctor today because I needed refills on my meds. Told him about the cough, he listened, asked me if I was still smoking, asked me if I wanted help quitting. I said actually no, I want help managing my stress level, please give me more xanax. So I got a shot in the ass, antibiotics, and he doubled my xanax!
Thanks for the chuckle. Good to know that I'm not the only one that have "tinkle" issues
Hysterical...I'm TinkleBelle, hightailing it at intermission of my kids' performances, to the LWR, so am not locked out of the next act.
Sure hope you feel better soon. It's going through our family & it's *snot* pretty. So far, my bladder is putting a damper on that cold taking hold. Sheeeeeeet, you got guts! I have so much to blog about but I'm often too much of a weenie to publicize ones like these.
Oh, the things I have to look forward to.
Thanks for sharing!
Whistling through my tits!!! ROFL.
Pure gold, Lois. Looks like you've really struck a chord with this one!
Congratulations, Lane #1. When we took that test in high school, the teacher gave us the answers to every question as he asked them.
Oh my gosh that was funny! Not having to pee here yet, but close. I had that cough 3/4 of the time during my pregnancy with baby #3, I actually had to buy Poise Pads (cheaper than Depends, just as good). Now, large sneezes can catch me off guard. I'm doing kiegels right now trying to get those muscles built back up. Think there's any hope?
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